Baekhyun’s POV

It’s been 2 years since we have been in China. Along with Tao, Jongdae, and Minseok. We debut together in a group around a year ago. Our fame rised fast and we have established a very good name to our company in less than a year, winning a lot of awards and being only a rookie group, a lot of praises were showered on us and we were thankful to our fans who were there to support us from the start.

Trainee days were really difficult, but I was lucky to be only training for a year. On the other hand, Jongdae and Minseok were training longer than us. We were never allowed to contact our friends most of the time, which resulted in my friendship with Luhan getting a little distant. But I still had my panda Tao beside me and I was glad. However I was glad we were really busy most of the time, which means no idle time thinking about some giant which I have to admit, I terribly missed him.

Two years of leaving Korea, and I still cannot forget a certain someone.Every now and then, at the mention of Exo, my heart swells but im glad they are still doing well over in Korea. I wonder if Chanyeol found someone new? I wonder if he still thinks of me?

Our first concert was fast approaching and we had planned this for a long time. Everyone put twice their effort and energy in their practice and training. I was really stressed as I was the main vocal so I really wanted to show my best for everyone, especially to our fans. I didn’t want to disappoint them. Our first concert should be the best of the best. Mother always told me to do my best in whatever I do,even when I was only a kid then, I wont forget her words.

“ There will be a sudden change of plans. Girls Generation would not be free to be the guest for your upcoming concert guys. “ one of the managers said one day, while we were having a break but I was still practicing my vocals while the others were relaxing and playing around the house.

“ What?! How could this happen?! “ Jongdae shrieked, and stopped playing his tablet while Minseok snatches it away to continue the game, unphazed by the news.

“ Yeah I only saw them once when were were still in korea… that’s quite sad. “ Tao answers, but not as dramatic as Jongdae was.

“ Why cant they come?! Make them come please manager hyung “ Jongdae continues. He can be so whiny at time I just want to slap him, not that I would, he was our precious dinosaur after all.

“ Well, on the bright side, guess who will be our new guest? “ manager says, ignoring Jongdae.

“ Pffft. Exo ? “ Minseok answeres, and I was shocked that he would mention them.

“ Correct ! “

“ WHAT?! “ I shouted, and all eyes were on me, then I gave them an apologetic nod and went into my room.

What?! Exo will be the guest for our first concert?!

For the following days, I was still nervous about Exo being the special guest of our concert. I was hoping day and night that somehow, magically, Girls Generation would be able to appear and not Exo. I didn’t know how to confront the giant. We have not contacted for a long time but I do visit Exo’s pages once in a while to see how he was doing. And in this two years he really have become more handsome and manly. There were sometimes rumours of him dating a few female artists but there was always no confirmation.

So just like any normal day, I would spend all of my time practicing. When im not asleep or eating, I would be singing. Sometimes I even skipped my meals just to have extra training with our vocal instructor. I made sure I was giving my all, I wouldn’t allow myself to have freetime. If I was tired of singing, I would practice my dancing, and make sure my steps were perfect and sharp.

“ Baekhyun, I just saw you dancing in the practice room, now you’re here for your vocal classes? “ the teacher asks, looking concerned.

“ Yeah the concert is getting nearer. I need to do my best “ I answer her, giving her a small smile

“ Make sure you don’t overdo it, Baekhyun. “

And the session goes on for another two hours. I was getting more and more tired but I wouldn’t let myself make that an excuse. That’s how all the other singers were getting ready for their concerts. I was determined I would be able to do just as well.

“ Baek hyung, have you eaten? “

“ Yeah of course. Look at the time now “ I answered Tao, without looking at him

“ Really? What did you eat ? “

I was hesitant, I actually skipped my meal again “ And some noodles I got downstairs “

“ Hyung don’t lie. You didn’t even leave the building and I was watching you! You skipped meals again! “

“ Tao… “ I was cut off by the microwave’s beep and Tao brought out some rice and side dishes and told me to eat.

I ate abit and threw the rest away, I had no appetite. When night approached, I went downstairs, running through the songs again, practicing the piano, remembering the lines, and practicing my vocal. When it was almost time for the sun to rise, I quickly went back to bed and pretended that I slept.

I repeated my days living like this for a long time. A month has passed, I was starting to get constant headaches and a terrible cough and was down with the flu. There were even times when I felt dizzy and light headed. But still, I hid my condition from everyone. I told myself, all this will end after the concert. I will be fine by then. Ill eat well, sleep well and rest well. Now is not the time.

One morning, when I woke up, I got a terrible sore throat. I took no notice of it once again, and told nobody about it. I still went for my Chinese classes, vocal and dance training. The next day I was shocked when I realized I couldn’t speak. Not a single sound came out of my lips when I tried talking to Tao that morning. Tao stared blankly at me and when the situation got worse, being unable to speak the whole day, I was rushed to the specialist. I waited for a few days for the result.

“ Hyung, remember what happened when you were younger?? When your mother passed away? You cried till you lost your voice. And you’re losing it again Baekhyun hyung. “ Zi Tao came and talked to me one evening, before we fell asleep. The room was dark.

I could feel my eyes teared up. I couldn’t afford to lose my voice again. I remembered, when my mother left me, I was so heartbroken I cried everyday. I loved my mother very much, I had so much stress and depression, I ended up losing my voice for a few months. But things got better, after I met Luhan and his brother. The doctor has advised me not to tire myself or let stress takeover me again, or history would repeat itself.

By now I was sniffing quietly, remembering about my mother and my voice. Tao was surprised, but all he could do was wipe my tears away while hugging me to sleep.

A few days after, our manager called me over. I was feeling better as my voice was back, I could speak, although very softly. But it was getting better, so I was confident that I was going to be well on the concert day.

“ Baekhyun, we have gotten the results from your doctor. “ I nodded, while waiting for him to continue.

“ And it’s bad news. “ he said, looking at me with a sad look on his face.

“ What is it? “ I asked, in a quiet voice, after a long silence

“ Baekhyun we’re sorry… you should read the report yourself. “ They handed me the paper and I could feel my hear pounding out of my chest. Is the results that bad? I took the document with shaky hands, as I scanned the paper.

“ I… i…. I cant…s-s-sing anymore…….?? “ I had to re-read the report for almost a thousand times, before it really sank into my head. My voice came out so soft, so frail.

My hands were getting sweaty and I felt like my world was crushed. The manager only nodded.

 “ I’m sorry Baekhyun. But im afraid the company would not continue to have an artist who is unable to sing. I know how difficult it is for you right now. But as a singer, you are expected to sing. Which you cant anymore. For the concert, we have been discussing with the CEO for a few days now, you will still be participating. But you will be lipsyncing, as there is no other choice… I really feel sorry for what has happened to you. But this is how the entertainment world works. “

I couldn’t give any response.

I wanted to shout, to scream, but my voice was failing me.

It was like time has stopped.

My heart has stopped.

“ We will be cancelling your contract as an SM entertainment artist. “

A/N : LOL IDEK HOW THIS STORY GOT SO ANGST-Y  T____T

why'd you make baekhyun not able to sing?! *shoots self* there will be baekyeol in the next chap :) flufffffluffffffluffffffff < teasserrr

and the end is coming :'( dont forget to support my other fic http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/623665/deja-vu-miracle-in-december-fluff-exo-exok-baekhyun-chanyeol-baekyeol-chanbaek that's all for now. comment and sub, I WILL LOVE U IF U DO. okaibai