Album No. 39
∫Track 01

I stood outside of the room, listening to Yoochun play a little longer. By now I was sure that it was JaeJoong’s song. Why Did I End Up Falling For You. However, the real question was- what does this all mean? Did they know each other? How well? What was their relationship? And why? Why do they keep it a secret?

Aish, it was driving me crazy.

I finally put an end to the questioning, took in a deep breath and reached for the door knob. Once Yoochun noticed me stepping in, he glanced at me and stopped playing altogether. He honestly looked surprised and stood up, staring at me with large eyes.

“BoA.”

I didn’t jump into anything right away but once I started to speak I began to feel jittery inside, almost upset. I clenched my fist and gathered the courage to ask calmly, a neutral expression on my face, “What was that song you were playing?”

Yoochun averted my gaze at him and rubbed his arm as if he were guilty of something. Instead of telling me the song title like he was supposed to, “You know it?” he asked, and by the sound of his voice, I could hear that he was sad.

I was taken aback. First, at his reaction and second, that he’d ask me that. “N-no.. I don’t know, it just sounded um, nice. Ah, I was just wondering,” I squeezed a smile out of myself and Yoochun then looked at me, appearing more relieved.

“Oh,” he simply stated and smiled softly.
“But it’s an, uh, interesting song,” I continued, nearing the grand piano and brushed my fingertips over the black keys. I turned to Yoochun seriously, “How do you know it?”

I was sure that my telling glare would catch him off guard but to my surprise, Yoochun simply replied, “Actually, I just heard it the other day, while passing by one of the practice rooms at school.” I widened my eyes. “It sounded nice so I was trying to remember it.”

Wait, If he’s talking about practice rooms the other day… that was me and Junsu! When we were trying to record it for JaeJoong’s Christmas gift. God, you must be kidding me.

I blinked and swiveled around, evading his gaze. “So I see.. AHEM.”

As a result, it appeared that I worried over nothing. What else was new? I didn’t know whether I should feel stumped or relaxed. Though it was good that it didn’t turn out to be the worst case scenario, still, something about this coincidence was fishy to me.

“Anyway, do you need something BoA? You came into the piano room to look for me right?” Yoochun changed the subject and I remembered the request that I had originally come here for, before I got distracted.

“Oh, um, yeah. I was thinking…” I paused for a moment and exhaled. “I think I should just go home after today. I’m, uh, running out of clean clothes and it’d be better for me to stay at my own house anyway. Do you think I can get a ride home tomorrow?”

Yoochun looked at me with his lips pushing into a pout that he was trying not to make. “Are you sure, BoA? Butler Oh can do the laundry for you. You don’t need to leave. I’m already prepared to let you stay for the week.”

I knew that it was sudden but I had already made up my mind. I shook my head. “Thanks Yoochun but really, I’m fine. So if you can, do me the favor?”

He was not surprisingly reluctant. Typical Yoochun. “But ahjumma said—”

“I know. If she asks, can you just tell her that I was here for the whole time?” I pleaded, convincing him with my powerful puppy eyes.

He closed his eyes briefly and sighed. “Okay,” Yoochun muttered and the soul inside of me danced in celebration. I mean, it was a good day with Yoochun so far but still, it just doesn’t feel right to be here after all.

“Thank you,” I said and gave him a small smile. It would have been bigger but I didn’t want him to feel bad.
“Since you’re asking, do you need a ride right now? I can have my driver bring you to wherever you’re meeting your friend,” Yoochun offered.

I quickly waved my hands in front of me and refused. “No, no it’s fine!” I squeaked and cleared my throat. “I promise, I can get there on my own.”

I stole a glance at my watch and it was already time to meet DongHae for dance practice. “Ah, wow, now that you mention it, I’ve got to go. Yoochun, I’ll see you later~!”
He waved at me as I ran out of the room. “See you, BoA.”

∫Track 02

The next day, Yoochun dropped me off at home like promised and it felt good to be in the comfort of my own house. Even though I was alone, since Omma and Appa dismissed the house staff for the week, I was fairly content that I was at least somewhere familiar.

“Hello?” I answered my phone that had been ringing off loudly in my pocket.
“Hey, kid. Feeling sore after yesterday’s dance practice?” DongHae’s happy voice filled my ears and I grinned as I kicked back on the sofa.

“Surprisingly, no,” I answered, giving up a little laugh. “You know, I think I might just have a natural talent for this,” I joked but DongHae took it seriously.
“I totally agree,” he said and it made me smile with a real feeling. I tsk-ed in response but DongHae went on. “No, seriously. When I watch you move, it’s like you’ve been dancing forever, kid. You really got to give yourself credit. You’re good, honest.”

“Heh, thanks,” I responded proudly and stretched my arm above my head. “So are we going to practice today too?”
“Yep. That is, if you’re up for it,” DongHae challenged and I stood to my feet, feeling pumped already.
“Of course!” I exclaimed. “What time are you free?”
“All day. So where are you? I’ll drive by and pick you up if it’s okay today,” he laughed.

“Hmm, fine~” I replied and giggled. He must have been pretty darn surprised at my ‘ah no!’ reaction yesterday. “I’m at home, so I’ll text you my address.”
“Kay, kiddo.” Then, he hung up.

After I sent him my address, I lugged my bag up the stairs to unpack a bit before he gets here.

I rolled my carrier into my room and sat at the floor before I opened it to take out my stuff. I fetched out some of my used clothes, put it into the hamper, and then emptied the rest of the luggage of its contents.

Suddenly I came across that plain white envelope that Junsu gave me for Christmas. I know that I shouldn’t have, but for some reason I was terribly tempted to take out those pictures to have a look. Just a little look, and already my heart was pitter-pattering.

I tucked my lips in, shutting my eyes and shook my head. No, BoA. Don’t do it, don’t do it! I preached, but even when I was yelling at myself not to, I found my hands moving on their own and before I knew it, those embarrassing childhood photos of JaeJoong were before my eyes.

My heart grew weak seeing that face, that innocent younger version of him, in the snapshots of his hidden memories. I realized that there was so much that I didn’t know about him, about his life, but yet I already liked him- this much.

It was strange. Wasn’t it strange? For even having his old pictures like this. I mean, yeah it was Junsu who gave them to me but still – Until now, even after he rejected me, I still… I just…

The pictures swiftly fell from my hands as I jumped- my phone vibrated with a message.
[I’ll be there in 15 (:] DongHae wrote and I let out a breath. I put my cellular away and glanced at the pictures spread over my carpet floor.

As funny as they were, I couldn’t bring myself to laugh, not this time.
That’s how much it still hurt… and yet I knew… that’s how much I still liked him.

∫Track 03

Dance practice had been going well for the week, especially since we were on break from school. I was happy that I had been making a lot of progress, and we were right on schedule, halfway through.

The only other thing that had me distracted was applying for college. If I wasn’t fixing up the dance steps, I was fixing up the typos for my personal statements. It was certainly a hassle and a lot of work but I am a good student – well up until recently because of certain things and certain people – however, I was determined to get into college.

Some of the big universities also had exams that I had to take in order to be accepted into their school so I had to work hard studying for those too.

I looked up from the essay that I was typing and wondered out loud, “LiYin probably isn’t doing any of this.” I sighed. For the serious Ongaku students, college apps never need to cross their minds. It was customary that they would all be enrolling in Ongaku University to pursue their future in music, but I wasn’t one of them. I knew a long time ago that I had better off focusing on the more scholarly places like Seoul National or Yonsei, and pray to God every night that I’ll get in.

I sat back in my desk chair and breathed out tiredly. These days, I had really immersed myself into work and practice so that I barely had time to think about other things. I was hoping that it’d be the case but still, I couldn’t avoid seeing him in my dreams.

I leaned forward and propped my cheek on my palm, thinking again. As much as I hated to admit it, JaeJoong always came to mind from time to time – especially when I was around DongHae, because he’d strangely do things that would remind of him, as if he was intentionally mocking me.

I puffed up my cheeks, feeling the loneliness impend on my body. After getting so used to seeing him everyday, this week without him was rather annoying.

“Ahhhh!” I yelled out my frustrations and buried my face into my hands. I seriously had to stop sulking.

“Okay, BoA! Focus! College! You must get in or you’ll have nothing left to look forward to in life! Go, go, go!”

An instant message randomly popped up on my screen and I squinted my eyes at it, seeing that it was LiYin.
[BOAAAAAA SAVE ME! \(*O*)/]

Being the worrywart of a friend that I was, I quickly typed back.
[(*O*) Why? What happened? Are you OK?]

[NOOO I’M NOT!! MY COUSINS ARE SO ANNOYING!! T______T]

I felt bad for her, but I had to laugh. Every winter break, LiYin’s relatives from the countryside would come visit and her baby cousins always drive her crazy. It’s like they never grow up.

[Haha, sorry girl~ ;P Can’t help you there. You got to learn how to deal with it!]
[Argh! But I don’t wanna~~~ TT anyway, what are you up to? I haven’t seen you in a while, I miss youuu Unni~ ^3^]
[TSK! As if! If you really missed me, you’d come over. ;P]
[What, are you crazy?! Aren’t you at Yoochun’s house? Why would I go there!]

I had totally forgot to mention it to her.
[No, I’m at home now (: I only stayed there for a night and came home the next day.]
[/(*O*)\ OMO! SO I WAS RIGHT!! AH! Didn’t I tell you? He crept up on you when you weren’t expecting it, didn’t he?! So then you had to escape! OMG!!! Why didn’t you tell me this?! Are you OK?!!]

It’s been a long time since laughed like this, like until my sides hurt like crazy.
[HAHAHAHA, NOOO! It wasn’t because of that!! xDDDDD]
[Don’t deny it, BoA! I’ll tell Junsu to tell JaeJoong and he’ll be there to beat Yoochun to a pulp, I’m sure! o(^O^)o]

And there ended my laughter.
[Ah…Forget him.]
There was a slight pause in the conversation and I waited as LiYin replied.

[What? Why? …Did something happen? Again.. T____T]
I took in a deep breath before I typed the next message.

[…I told JaeJoong that I liked him. And he basically… ignored it…]
[What? I don’t get it. How could he ignore it? And wow, I’m amazed that you actually told him. You go girl~]
[Yeah, well, it’s complicated.. I guess I’ll explain to you better in person.]
[Ah, okay. Well, JaeJoong’s a jerk for hurting my BFFL like this! HMPH!]
[Well… I guess it’s not his fault. I did tell him out of nowhere. I’m sure that he wasn’t expecting it…]
[… BoA. You’re really something. -____-“]
[What do you mean?]
[One side of you is saying forget him, while the other side is saying it isn’t his fault. Make up your mind, Unni!]
[Yeah. I should.]
[Anyway, speaking of talking to me in person, you think you can come out and meet me tonight? It’s New Year’s Eve! I’ll be at the shopping district to see the fireworks! If you can make it, it’d be awesome~! ^^]

I stole a glance at the date on my computer screen.
[Wait! Today’s NYE???]
[Wow, BoA. Really wow.]
[Ah, my parents called me yesterday saying that they’ll be back today. And that there was a NYE celebration that Yoochun’s family is throwing… I can’t see you after all, LiYin-ah! T___T]
[What????? Yoochun, again?! ARGHH :\]
[He’s not that bad. Anyway, I won’t be going for him. It’s my parents and the Parks.]
[Still, it !]

I softly smiled and LiYin sent me another IM.
[If you want to sneak away from the lame party, text me and you won’t regret it (;]
[Hehe, okay. I’ll try! Happy New Year’s Eve, LiYin-ah~~~]
[Happy New Year’s Eve! ^^]

LiYin signed off soon after that and I stuck out my tongue, contemplating about tonight. As if I didn’t have enough of the fancy dinner parties this year, here came another one – one that I was pretty much dreading to go to.

I rubbed my eyes and spun out of my chair, walking lazily into my bedroom. I had a feeling that tonight was going to be a long night…

∫Track 04

By the time my parents were home, I had already gotten ready so that they wouldn’t have anything to nag me about. When they arrived, there was literally an hour before we had to head over to the Parks’ venue for the party and they were both rushing. Lucky I wasn’t caught up in that mess.

In the meantime, as I waited on the living room couch, I got bored and started playing with my phone. Suddenly it vibrated and I clicked to open the new message.

[From Junsu: Happy New Ear, BoA!^^ Haha, get it? Ear? Not year!* Hahaha!]
I shook my head as I laughed at Junsu’s lame joke. I replied:
[Never change, Junsu, never change. Happy New Year ;D]

After that, some others started streaming in. Some of which I didn’t even know had my number.
[From DongHae: Good job with the dancing, kid! Let’s spend another new year happily!]
[From Dana: Hey BoA! Happy New Year, my dear!]
[From Hyukjae: HNY]
[From Hara: Sunbae, have a happy new year (:]
[From Anonymous: On behalf of the BoJoong fan club, we wish you a very happy new year! Spend it well with JaeJoong-sshi!^^]

I smiled at all of them, yes even the last one, but mostly at Hyukjae’s oh-so sentimental message. (Sarcasm)

I began to type back and midway through, another message popped up on the screen. My heart skipped when I saw that it was from him and I hesitated a moment before I eventually tapped it open.

My lips fell into a frown when I saw that the text was empty. Well, gee. Thanks Kim JaeJoong. What in the world is __________ supposed to mean?

I exhaled and let it pass me. He either clicked something wrong or his phone had unintentionally sent me a blank text. Still, it was in some way comforting that he still kept my number.

“BoA dear, we have to go now!” my mom chimed as she descended down the stairs with my dad following closely behind her. I glanced at the clock and saw that we were probably going to be late to the soiree, but it was okay. It meant less time agonizing later..

∫Track 05

“BoA, it’s been some time since we’ve last seen you,” Mrs. Park greeted seemingly happily and I forced a smile, feeling so fake about the whole introduction. The last time that we saw each other, she had given me the evil eye for causing her precious Yoochun’s depression. I kept my rather accurate thoughts to myself.

“Yes, it has, Mrs. Park. Thank you for the invite,” I returned a bow, and she nodded with an evil gleam to her eyes. I swear, I saw it!

“Yoochun is at the table, BoA. He’s been waiting for you, you can go find him,” Mr. Park stated and I gave them another bow before leaving the adult circle. For once I hadn’t been more thankful for Yoochun’s existence.

“Hey,” I said as I approached Yoochun from behind and he turned around with surprise.
“Oh..! Hey BoA,” he smiled and I returned the favor.
“Nice suit,” I remarked and Yoochun’s face reddened right under his eyes.
“Thanks, you look really nice too,” he said in a small voice. I laughed. He’ll always be the shy Yoochun, no matter what.

“Thanks. So, what have you been up to these days?” I questioned, and Yoochun had that lost look on his face again.
“Eh? Me?” he asked, pointing at himself. He scratched the back of his head. “Nothing really.. I’ve just been practicing on the piano, composing some songs.. you?”

“Sounds nice,” I replied and shrugged my shoulders. “And me, not as lucky as you, Yoochun. Been studying a lot for college exams and writing essays instead of playing.”
“College exams?” Yoochun furrowed his eyebrows. “Why are you doing that?”

I bitterly smiled. “I’m thinking of taking a different road, other than music.”
“Are you sure about that? You’re not going to consider going to Ongaku U?” Yoochun asked and I shook my head.
“No.. it’s not for me. Ongaku U is for music elites like you, Yoochun. I wouldn’t belong there,” I smiled but he looked at me sadly.
“It doesn’t feel right BoA,” Yoochun solemnly stated. “We’ve been going to the same school since elementary school..”

“Mm, time flies doesn’t it?” I said and then I had to change the subject. “Anyway, I’m getting hungry. Should we get something to eat?”
Yoochun’s lips raised a little and nodded. “Sure.”

∫Track 06

Yoochun and I spent a while, walking around, grabbing food and talking about small things from our past. Honestly, we weren’t the best of friends when we were younger, and we weren’t that close now but still I’d consider that we are a lot closer than before.

To think that we’ve known each other for so long, it was kind of amazing, and yet at the same time unbelievable that it took us this long to be comfortable with each other.

“Do you remember BoA? That playground,” Yoochun brought up halfway in our conversation and I knitted my eyebrows, trying to recall it.
“Oh, oh yeah. We went there not too long ago..” I said and my voice trailed off, inwardly shuddering at how Yoochun said those mushy things to me about how he fell in love with a girl there – namely me.

Every time we’d go over our childhood, he’d always talk about that playground, as if it was the most important place in his memory.

“Do you remember?” he repeated and I stared at him funny. Didn’t I just tell him I did? But then he looked at me with a more earnest expression, as if he was trying to make seriously recall something. I tilted my head to the side.

“Why?” I laughed a little and wondered, “Is there something specific you want me to remember?”

Yoochun opened his mouth to say something, but then Mr. Park called him from afar.
“Son, come over here for a minute. I have someone who would like to meet you,” he stated and Yoochun bowed in response.

He gazed back at me with concern and I smiled. “Go ahead. I’ll be at the table,” I told him. He looked me at apologetically and soon fled in the other direction.

“Playground… playground…” I sang to myself as I walked back to my chair. “I really can’t think of anything..”

I sat alone at the table, as everyone else was around eating, drinking and socializing on the floor. Getting bored again I took out my cell phone to finish up texting back everyone for the New Year’s greetings.

“Oh,” I exclaimed when I realized that I had one from LiYin. Silly girl, sending me another New Year’s message when she already IMed me about it. But when I opened it, it read:

[At the shopping district right now! Fireworks will be off in half an hour BoA! Are you coming?! ^3^]

My eyes widened and all of a sudden I was pumped to get over there so that I could ditch this old, boring place. I looked around and found Yoochun seemingly engaged in a conversation with some wealthy-looking people and I huffed.

I’m sure that no one would notice if I slip out now. I grabbed my cellular and texted LiYin back: [I’ll be there!]

∫Track 07

I grabbed a taxi and quickly reached the shopping district in downtown Seoul. It had been some time since I was last visited this place and it boggled me the amount of people who were walking around – especially couples.

I shied away from looking at the pairs holding hands, whispering into each other’s ears and being so close. It was the perfect time to be intimate in the cold weather, but sadly for me I was not one of them.

I squeezed through the sea of people and tried my best to look for LiYin. It didn’t help at all that I was short, she was short and that she had the most common hairstyles in Korea, making it that much more difficult to spot her amongst the crowd.

I sighed with frustration and hoped that I could hear her on the phone despite the bustling noise that surrounded me from everywhere.

I dialed up LiYin’s number and luckily she picked up. “Hey! I made it to Myeongdong! There’s so many people here!! How can I find you?”
“I know right!! Can you see the fountain? Get over there, you really can’t miss it!” LiYin exclaimed and I tiptoed, looking over as many heads as I could. Sure enough I saw a fountain about forty feet west.

“Oh, okay! It looks kind of big though! Which side are you on?” I asked as I pushed through to get to where the water was sprouting in different colors.

I heard LiYin giggle. “You’ll know when you get there! Ah! The countdown is starting, BoA! Hurry, hurry~!”

“Yeah! I’ll see you!!” I said and we cut the line. People around me were starting to count from 60 and I was getting anxious, both nervous and excited that the new year was to come. Perhaps with this new year, I can forget the old stuff and start afresh with a better feeling.

By the time I got to the fountain, the count was already down to 35. I looked left and right, trying to spot LiYin, but that was near hopeless. Now I knew what people meant when they said all Asians looked the same! I tried to find Junsu, guessing that he’d probably be here, and attempted to listen for his unique voice, but with no success.

I panicked when everyone was yelling from 20 and I nearly took out my phone to call LiYin again but then I saw something that caught my eye.

A giant Hello Kitty.

Time suddenly seemed to freeze as the person carrying it turned around and I saw him- meeting eyes with me from under his hooded grey sweater.

My heart beat faster with every step that he took towards me, a hopeful expression on his face.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe. Everything seemed to move in slow-motion, even as the voices around me started counting in this deep, lethargic tone 10… 9…

“BoA,” JaeJoong said my name, his airy voice as clear as a cloudless day, and my mouth hung open at his presence before my eyes. Was he really here? 8…

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and I blinked, feeling my eyes cure from dryness. I missed him. I really did. His voice. His face. Everything. 7… 6…

He put the Hello Kitty plush in front of me and I subconsciously took it with my own hands. “I didn’t mean it. What I said to you the other day…” 5… 4… 3…

“Forgive me?” JaeJoong said and though I didn’t respond, I knew it in me that I had already done that, a long time ago.

He stared at me sincerely and I just wanted him to hug me, but instead-
2… 1…

He kissed me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: ahh! I know that this is like suuuuuppppppeeeerrrr late! I'm so sorry! *dodges more rocks* but hopefully this chapter makes up for it! even a little? hehe ^^ like JaeJoong said: forgive me? *bats eyelashes* looking forward to your responses! sweets is OUT! ^^V THX for all your support!! replies coming soon ♡♡♡