Album No. 11

:: Track 01 ::

“WHO IS IT?!” I screeched at the top of my lungs when I heard the doorbell ring. I checked my alarm clock and saw that it was 7 in the morning. It didn’t particularly make Kwon BoA very happy to have to wake up this early – especially on a Saturday.

I pulled a pillow over my head, trying to ignore the incessant sounds of the doorbell but it just wouldn’t stop ringing. I screamed and flipped over my entire blanket, letting it un-gracefully fall to the carpeted floor.

“Gosh, I’m coming!” I told whoever the dummy was and got up fast. Too fast. I jumped on my feet that were still aching from last night’s oh-so comfortable high heels. Oh yes, I am a genius.

I hissed, sitting back on my bed and rubbed my toes. It didn’t make them any better but I couldn’t do anything about it. Now if I wanted to stop my head from hurting, I had to answer the door.

I stormed down the stairs and without thinking about the kidnappers or potentially dangerous criminals I flung the door wide open.
“WHAT!” I barked into the person’s face and surprise surprise, it was Kim JaeJoong. He was potentially dangerous enough.

I blinked my eyes rapidly and rubbed them to make sure that I wasn’t just seeing things.
“Nice pajamas again pabo,” he greeted while leaning on the doorframe and smiled with his arms crossed.

Really. Why did he always have to catch me in my moments?

I hurriedly slammed the door on his face and leaned on the back of the door breathing heavily.

What the heck was this? Memory loss much? Argh~

:: Track 02 ::

I quickly ran back to my room despite my dying feet and carelessly put on what I wore the other day for Mrs. Kim’s birthday party. It was a bit too formal for a piano lesson but I really couldn’t find anything else in time and he did say that I looked pretty in it… Gah don’t think of stuff like that now BoA. Stop…

I sped down the stairs and let out a breath before swinging open the door again.
“Kim JaeJoong you –“ I was about to scold him but he was oddly nowhere to be found. What the heck? Did he leave already? “…Kim JaeJoong?”

I took a blind step forward and nearly ended up falling on my face – the usual occurrence of my day.

“Ah!” I screamed and jolted back from the thing that touched my legs. I peered down and saw that it was him sitting on the doorstep. He turned around and I could tell by the way he was rubbing his eyes that he had fallen asleep.

He was waiting for me. Cute.

“Whoa. What happened to you?” Kim JaeJoong asked and slowly stood up to his feet. He laughed softly and scratched the back of his head.
“What?” I questioned back, fighting the blood from boiling up to my cheeks. “I couldn’t find anything better to wear, okay?”

Kim JaeJoong raised an eyebrow and gave me an amused expression. “Okay?” he said and let himself in to my house. Ch.

:: Track 03 ::

“Did you JUST wake up because you forget about our lessons today?” He correctly guessed and I rolled my eyes while shutting the door behind him. “Typical pabo.” I heard him say.
“Hmph! I’m just surprised that you can actually wake up this early DUMMY,” I shot back and followed him into the back of the dining room.

We stopped in front of the shiny black piano bench and Kim JaeJoong turned around to face me. He smirked. “Anything to see my pretty girlfriend~” he sang and this time I knew I blushed for sure.

“Pft! As if, Kim JaeJoong!” I said to his face and slapped him on the chest. He acted like it hurt.
Once I passed by him, I gulped and quickly sat down, flipping through the papers in my piano folder to keep myself distracted from thinking the wrong things.

“So are you ready to learn a new song?” he then asked, sitting down next to me and dragged me out of my thoughts.
“Huh?” I wondered cluelessly and he laughed. I’ve really got stop acting so dumb. I’m a straight-A student! Come on, BoA!
“Pabo~” Kim JaeJoong called and flicked me on the forehead. “Listen to your teacher when he’s talking to you!”

**“No way, Kim JaeJoong! The day I call you sunsaengnim is… is the day I fall in love with you!”**
(sunsaengnim = teacher)

I put my hand up to my mouth and felt my heart beating out of control inside of me. I don’t know why I even remembered that but … Kim JaeJoong sunsaengnim… it didn’t sound half bad. Aish what was I saying?!

“Yah, Kwon BoA. What’s wrong with you today? Are you feeling okay?” Kim JaeJoong questioned and when he put his palm on my forehead, I flinched.

I think I’m going crazy.

I stood up abruptly and smartly knocked the back of my leg against the bench.
“OW!” I screamed and bent down to hold my calf muscle. It didn’t help that my feet were still hurting.
“Ow, ow, ow~” I repeated and shut my eyes tight in reaction to the pain. Almost unexpectedly, tears formed at the brim of my eyes.

“BoA?” Kim JaeJoong called and I felt him shake me by the arms. “BoA don’t scare me.”
I could tell from his voice that he was getting really worried. Not only that, but he wasn’t even calling me pabo anymore. It sounded nice to hear him say my name.

For some reason I laughed even when I was still crying. I opened my eyes and looked at how straight-faced he was. He must really think that I’m insane by now. His dark chocolate eyes didn’t lie.
“My legs are hurting~” I whined like a little girl and winced again when I ran my fingers over a really painful spot.

He blinked at me. Once… twice… and then without a warning, Kim JaeJoong lifted me up in his arms. He just freaking picked me up like I weighed nothing!

“Yah! What are you doing?! YAH!” I screamed and subconsciously hugged him around the neck, hanging on for my dear life. “Kim JaeJoong put me down! RIGHT NOW!”

“Then why are you holding onto me so tightly?” he retorted with a half-sly half-pissed grin and I blushed looking into his eyes.
“I don’t want to fall d-dummy!” I answered loudly but I didn’t let go. In fact I held on tighter because the chance of him dropping me now was even greater.

“Stop screaming so loudly in my ear, pabo,” He answered and speed-walked with me in his arms in the direction towards my room. Wait, what were we going to do in –

MY ROOM?!

:: Track 04 ::

Kim JaeJoong gently laid me down on my bed and for a good moment I simply froze. What was he going to do to me? If he was going to do anything scandalous I swear I –

“Don’t move okay?” he said softly and I gulped. Really, where was all my strength and courage at this point? Why must I always let myself be a victim?

Oh my god! I watched precariously as he moved his hands at the ends of my dress and then he –

He tugged them down to cover more of my legs.

Oh.

“Look at you,” Kim JaeJoong spoke as he shook his head left and right like a disapproving father. He took my feet and practically petted them. “You don’t know how to take care of yourself, do you?”

His touch…
I cast my gaze downward so that he wouldn’t see me blush.

“We’re going to need to soak these,” he continued and I just listened to his stupidly hot voice.
“We?” I spoke but it was too soft for him to hear.
“Do you have a bucket?” Kim JaeJoong asked. I could still feel him massaging my toes. They somehow felt a little better.
“I-in the kitchen,” I mumbled without looking up.
“Okay. Let me get it. Don’t move,” he warned and then left the room.

Once I heard the door close, I perked up and let out a sigh of relief.

This guy… what’s wrong with him? He doesn’t have to help me. He doesn’t have to care. He doesn’t have to do anything for me.


But he does. What is that supposed to mean?


And soon enough he’ll kill it and slap a Yoochun comment in my face.
Gosh. What does he want? Does he even know? Or is he just like me? Indecisive? Confused?

Maybe he’s just like that.

“GAH!” I threw my body backwards and landed my back flat against the bed. My arms spread out like wings and I yelled at the ceiling. “Why am I so confused?!”

“Because you’re a pabo,” Kim JaeJoong interrupted with a laugh. Great, he’s back. That was fast.
I quickly sat up to see him walking in with what looked like a heavy red bucket of warm water. It was interesting watching him waddle over though. Ha.

“Didn’t I tell you not to move?” he questioned and I stuck my tongue out at him. What was he going to do about it? He looked at me after he set the bucket in front of me and tilted his head to the side. “Hurry, dunk your feet in.”

I scrunched my nose and then carefully touched the surface of the water with my big toe. It was scorching hot!
“Yah! It’s burning! Are you trying to burn my feet to death?” I pulled my feet close to my body, hugging myself around the knees and glared at him.

“No~” Kim JaeJoong retorted and I caught him roll his eyes. He grabbed my feet again and tried to force them into the death trap. “It’s better for you when it’s hot. Let’s go!”

“Let’s not!” I argued and squirmed out of his hold. “Stop Kim JaeJoong! It’s hot! It hurts!”
“Come on! Just hurry and get it over with! It’ll be fine!” He scolded and after a few pushes and pulls, he –

“AH!”
He lands on top of me. I couldn’t move – literally!

Kim JaeJoong was motionless too, staring at me with his now shy-looking dark chocolate eyes, some strands of brown hair dangling over my forehead, not saying a word and strangely not crushing me with his body weight. Oh…

I hate to admit it but – ergh! Why does he have to be so good-looking?!
I bit my lip and tried to turn my head to the side – fail. His sweet dark chocolate eyes just kept pulling me in and in and in~

The room was quiet, still, stagnant. It was me. Him. Us.

All I could hear was his soft rhythmic breathing above me. All I could feel was his heart beating against mine – mine slightly faster. All I knew was that I was here and he was here and I was hopelessly falling, falling, falling – what was this like for him?

“BoA? What happened? I heard you screaming out strange things –”
Clang! The bowl of fruits my mom threw together in the kitchen (without me knowing) was now an array of squashed colors on my bedroom floor. She has got to have the worst timing in worst timing history, hasn’t she?

“Omma! This – this isn’t what it looks like!” I screamed and pushed the dummy off of me. He simply fell onto the floor and stayed there dazed.

I looked back at my mother who seemed to be in mental shock. Her jaw was dropped and she wasn’t responding to either of us. Well Kim JaeJoong wasn’t exactly defending the situation at all.

I shot a sidelong glance at Kim JaeJoong and opened my eyes wider, signaling him to say something, anything. And again, no response. Was I was talking to malfunctioning robots or what?

“Omma~” I called and went to her side, shaking her arm. She suddenly blinked and without a word dragged me out of the room. I got one last glance at Kim JaeJoong posing like a perfect statue before Omma slammed the door shut behind us.

:: Track 05 ::

“Yah! Omma!” I screeched as she tugged me away. “What – Omma – where are you taking me?”
No answer. Was I really expecting one?

I struggled and fought until we ended up in my parents’ master bedroom down the hall – she, an abusive owner and I, a reluctant whimpering puppy.

“OMMA!” I yelled and she slammed the door loudly, yet again. I then closed my mouth, seeing her serious face and narrowed eyes. Was I really in trouble?
“Omma,” I repeated but quieter. “Omma, we –“

“So how far did you two go?” my mom questioned and strangely she had a smirk on her face, one that looked very sneaky and dangerous.
I widened my eyes and slapped her lightly over the arm. “Omma! What – what are you talking about?”
“You and Ongaku’s number one seemed to be having some fun home alone,” my mother said with a wink and I’ve got to say that this is the most awkward talk that I ever had with her – no – with anybody! And I did think that we were home alone! I also thought that I was in trouble!

“Omma we didn’t do anything! Really!” I tried to defend my innocence and covered my cheeks, knowing that they haven’t stopped flushing red since the moment Kim JaeJoong walked in this morning.
“Really~?” she asked with a big hint of doubt in her tone. Why did she look so surprised? Did it look that ‘bad’?

“When I walked in, the boy was on top of you, his hands were around your face, your hands on his shoulders, faces close, and lips practically touching. You were on a BED. Not to mention your dress, which I don’t even know why you’re wearing, was hiked up to here missy! HERE,” my mom told me and pointed to her waist. I didn’t even notice that part. I guess it did look bad, eh?

I took a huff and began to explain.
“First, Kim JaeJoong was only on top of me because he tripped and fell on me, not because he wanted to and I definitely did n-not want him to! Second, it was only natural to have your hands in those positions because that’s what happens when people fall on top of other people and are completely caught off guard! Third, I wore this dress because he –!”

He said…
I was pretty in it.

My mom raised an eyebrow. “He? He what? Did he tell you to wear –“
“NO! I wore it because HE saw me in my EMBARRASSING Hello Kitty pajamas so I had to change into whatever I pulled out first!” I yelled. I haven’t been this worked up in a while. I slowed my breathing and calmed down.

My mom smiled her annoying smile. What Omma?
“Since when did my neat clean daughter pull outfits out of a dirty hamper to wear?”
Oh shoot.

In a second, she made me fire up again. “Omma! Jinjja! (Seriously!)” I shouted and stomped a foot on the floor. My mother laughed.
“Okay okay, okay~ I’ll stop teasing. I believe you,” she confirmed and I huffed again. My mom put a hand on my shoulders to keep me still and patted my dress down.

“Good because it’s the truth,” I said and she smiled.
“Well I don’t really mind what you do as long as you know how to be careful,” she added. I snapped at her.
“Omma!”
“Haha, okay okay~” she said and combed my hair with her fingers. “But you know…”
“What?” Nothing she could say would make the moment worse.
“I’d prefer if it was Yoochun.” But she just HAS to mention him. And yet –

I slowly narrowed my eyes at her with curiosity. “Are you saying that I … don’t have to marry Yoochun then?” My heart skipped a few beats with excitement. She didn’t seem bothered with the fact that Kim JaeJoong and I were in the same bed – not that anything happened! – but…

Omma raised her eyebrow and scoffed. “Well of course you do, honey! Yoochun is our ticket to fame and fortune!” Ugh. If she was going to give me that kind of answer, why call me honey then? There isn’t anything sweet about a girl who is being forced to marry some guy she has absolutely no feelings for.

“But Omma!” I detested and gave her a long face.
– Can’t you prefer Kim JaeJoong instead? – was what I want to say to her but the words just wouldn’t come out.
“No buts sweetie, you know the deal,” she patted me on the back of the hand and opened the door to walk out.
“What about the no deal option Omma? I say no deal! Omma~” I whined and pouted like a little girl, not letting her go.
“Stop it BoA. I’m being serious,” my mom claimed and wow, for once she was being ‘serious’.
“Well if you want me to marry Yoochun so much, why do you let me hang around with Kim JaeJoong? Didn’t it look bad that we were – you know!” My cheeks turned hot again just thinking about it.

“I trust you enough. Plus you just said nothing happened right?” my mom argued and damn, she got me again. Why was this woman so smart?
She flicked me on the nose and gave me another one of her flawless smiles. “I know you like Yoochun anyway.” YAH! WHO WAS SHE KIDDING?!

“Omma –!”
“Oh I have to get back to the car. I forgot your appa is still waiting. I only came back to give you some food,” she said, not letting me cut in at all. I followed her down the stairs too.
“Omma, wait I don’t –“
“Oh and don’t forget to work hard. Your appa and I won’t be home until much later. Learn well from JaeJoong~”
“But Omma listen I need to tell you that –“
“Remember the big piano competition okay?” she added with a cheery expression and her hands in the usual ‘okay’ sign.
“Omma, I don’t! I don’t like Yoo—“
Bam! Door slammed shut yet again and I, BoA, lost another one. Another battle over and done.
“Chun…”

:: Track 06 ::

Ah, Kim JaeJoong!

I hurriedly darted back when I realized that he might probably still be in my room. I was suddenly reminded that my feet STILL hurt but my questioning feelings were stronger.

What happened to him? He didn’t even say a word when my mom walked in on us. Not like we were doing anything bad of course but still!

“Yah! Kim Jae –“ I cut myself off when I found my bedroom empty. “Er…Kim JaeJoong?” I said in a whisper and let my eyes lazily scan the area. He wouldn’t be that lame to hide, would he?
“Yah, if you’re planning to scare me, you can give up now~” I said playfully and laughed to nobody but myself. He was obviously not here and oddly or not oddly, I was feeling really empty. Just like my room. Just like my house. Just like my heart.

I walked over to my bed and sat down, cautiously putting my feet into the bucket of water that the dummy filled up for me. It wasn’t hot anymore but that wasn’t what I was really thinking about.

Kim JaeJoong…
Why did you leave?

:: Track 07 ::

I got up earlier on Monday morning and headed out to Ongaku without having breakfast. I could barely sleep for the rest of the weekend and my parents bugging me about the competition and Yoochun didn’t help.

I kept thinking about Kim JaeJoong and about why he walked out. Did he feel uncomfortable because of my mom? Was he disgusted because it was me he landed ont op of? Or was it because he knows that I’m supposed to be married to Yoochun? Really what?


Once I got to the school grounds, I trudged around the courtyard roaming near familiar places that Kim JaeJoong would be. I could call him. Yes. I could. But somehow I felt better if I confronted him in person, face-to-face. Heck, let’s have a row while we’re at it! I didn’t care – as long as I get to see him.

I dashed up the stairs to the floor where all the lockers were. It was worth a shot.
“Junsu yah,” I heard an airy voice call and no doubt it was Kim JaeJooong’s. I smiled and was about to turn the corner to see him.
“Am I pathetic?” he asked and I quickly leaned my back against the wall out of sight, not watching but listening to the conversation.

Junsu made a low humming noise in response. I could tell it was him by his special voice too.
“It’s only normal,” Junsu answered and I think I heard him pat Kim JaeJoong on the back.

The dummy sighed. “I really wanted to forget about her, you know,” Kim JaeJoong spoke, his words full of a heavy emotion. “But the other day when I was at BoA’s house… she just reminds me so much of her.”
“YoungWoongie Hyung, they’re two different people. BoA is BoA. Stephanie is Stephanie.”

Stephanie? Who was that? My heart suddenly sank.

“Steph…” The way Kim JaeJoong said her name drove a knife right through me. “I think that I kind of…”
“Miss her?” Junsu finished and I wished I was dreaming. This was a nightmare right?

“Aish, I shouldn’t even think about her.”
He thinks about another girl?

“Whatever is comfortable for you, Hyung.”

“I can’t fall into the same trap again Junsu yah.”
What trap? Fall? Like in love?

“I know but I feel like BoA isn’t the same as her you know.”

“I know that but I’m not talking about BoA. Besides, don’t you know that she’s going to be married to Yoochun soon?”
No I refuse to! I won’t marry Yoochun if that’s the last thing I do!

“Well if you like her I think you should go after her Hyung. Who cares what Yoochun wants. It’s not him that BoA likes.”
Silence.

“Well Hyung? Do you like her?”
.
.
.
.
.

“…No. No I don’t.”



Ow.

My heart.

It hurts.