It’s been a week since I was sick and I’m now feeling much better. I’m still wondering who the mysterious person is who kissed me while I was “sleeping”. My hunch is that it’s Jonghyun not being able to resist doing a little skinship. Right now, I’m getting ready to head to a photo shoot. It’s not mine, it’s SHINee’s, but they asked for me to come along so I’m not alone in the dorm. It’s not my day off, but I finished my practices early. I try to look my best since all of them are going to look amazing for the photo shoot. I take one more look at myself in the mirror before leaving. I do a long sigh while staring, ‘Maybe Seunghye is right.’

Flashback

“Kate-ah.” I turn around to see Seunghye walking into the dance studio.

“Ne, Seunghye-sshi?” I walk over to her.

“You’re improving on your dancing and focusing more on your singing. Maybe you can debut after all.”

I mentally give her a death glare, but on the outside I put on a fake smile and bow slightly, “Gamsahabnida.”

She starts to walk away but then stops turning back and looking me up and down, “Hajiman…I would suggest to go on a diet. Appearance is also important and since you said no to surgery, the least you can do is lose some weight.” After that she walks out of the dance studio leaving me stunned with her comment. ‘The nerve of her! I look fine the way I am!’

End Flashback

That was a few days ago and I didn’t let it bother me, but every time I look in the mirror now, I see more flaws in my figure. I keep it to myself so I don’t worry the guys, but slowly and slowly, Seunghye’s words are getting to me. I snap out of my trance when I hear Key call me from the living room telling me to hurry up. I grab my bag and exit my bedroom heading towards them at the front door. I see them all waiting already ready to head out.

“What took you so long?” Key asks me.

“Mianhae, I didn’t notice how long I was taking.” I give them an awkward smile while rubbing the back of my head.

We head out of our dorm and see the van waiting for us. We get inside and the ride is surprisingly short. The building isn’t fancy, but I’m still able to tell that it’s from an important company. Once we get inside, into the room where the photo shoot is being held, I see that it’s going to be a normal one. It’s a large room filled with camera equipment, tables with snacks, couches for them to rest, computer equipment, and the plain white backdrop. After looking around, I then notice five girls and when I get a better look, its f(x).

They turn around finally noticing us, more like noticing SHINee, and come over to greet them. I stand out of the way while all of them say hi catching up. Of course, Krystal goes straight to Minho giving him and a hug and a peck on the lips. It makes my heart sting seeing the sight since the last time I saw them together was Valentine’s Day. Taemin finally takes notice of my absence from the group so he walks over to me.

“Guys, this is my friend Kate-noona. She’s going to be debuting soon.” Taemin introduces me to f(x). Honestly, I haven’t really talked to any other SM groups since they’re busy promoting and I’m just in the building constantly. One by one I shake their hands after bowing. Amber I remember was my bias in the group when I was still in New York having an ordinary life. Seeing her now, it feels like I can really become her friend. ‘I kind of need a girl to talk to once in a while even though Key is a good substitute haha.’

“So are you debuting with a group or are you going solo?” Luna steps up to ask me.

“I’ll be debuting as a solo artist.” I smile answering back.

“Oh wow, good luck. I hope you do well.” She replies cheerfully.

“So you’re the one staying in the new dorm, right?” This time Amber speaks up.

“Um…well…” I feel a little awkward saying that I’m staying with SHINee.‘One girl living with five guys…that would sound bad to anyone!’

“She’s actually living with us in our dorm.” Jonghyun helps me explain.

I see the girls look a little surprised and Victoria asks, “Changmalaeyo?”

“Ne, for the first week her dorm wasn’t ready so she stayed with us. Then after a week, we decided we wanted her to stay with us instead of her living alone.” Key now explains it to f(x).

“Ah, I see.” Victoria replies. I look at each of their faces and see that they get it which makes me relax. Then when I look over to Krystal, who hasn’t said anything to me, I see her staring at me. ‘Is she…glaring at me?’ I look away trying to ignore it. Once the short conversation ends, the photographer calls them all over, to get ready for the photo shoot. I take a seat on one of the couches. They all come back out after changing into their first outfits and my jaw drops. SHINee looks so handsome in the clothing line and f(x), the girls look gorgeous. Seeing the girls in the outfits, made me start to feel self-conscious, ‘I would never be able to wear those clothes and look good in them.’ I subconsciously start tugging my shirt a little spacing out. I feel someone plop next to me and when I look over, it’s Minho.

“Annyeong!” he has a bright smile on his face looking at me and doing a slight wave.

I give him a bright smile also, “Annyeong Minho-oppa. Don’t you need to be over there taking pictures?” I gesture my head in the direction of the white back drop where everyone else is.

“Anio, its individual shoots first, then group. I need to wait for my turn.” I look back over to where the photo shoot is happening and I see that it’s only Onew. I look around the room to see the others just hanging around. Jonghyun and Taemin are eating from the snack table with Luna and Victoria, while Key is talking with the other f(x) girls. “Mianhae, it might be a while until we’re done. If you want to leave early everyone will understand.”

I look back over to Minho and his head is straight forward, “Gwenchana. It’s my first time being at a photo shoot. It’s good if I see how it’s done before I need to start doing them. Plus…” I reach into my bag and Minho is now trying to peak over my shoulder to see what I’m getting. “I have my phone that has many games on it to keep me entertained!” I give him a cheesy grin while holding up the phone.

He laughs, “Arasseo. What games do you have?”

“Well, I have Tetris, Bejeweled, Angry Birds, but my favorite is Abduction.”

“Abduction?” he gives me a confused look. ‘Ah! So cute!’

“Ne, you control the little cow telling it to go left or right by tilting the phone while it’s hopping. The object of the game is to make it climb all the way to the top to the spaceship by jumping on the little islands so it can bounce higher and higher, but if you fall off an island, game over. It gets tricky when there are fewer islands or when some move.” I explain the game while playing it to show him how it works.

“Ah! Let me try!” Minho grabs my phone also grabbing my hands which takes me by shock from the sudden action. He takes the phone and tries the game. ‘Good thing he’s so focused on it that he doesn’t see my red face.’ His face lights up when he wins, “I did it! This game is too easy, Kate-ah.”

I shake my head while smirking, “Ne, you won…but that was easy mode.” I show him the levels of difficulty and of course he chooses the hardest one. He tries the game again and in an instant, loses.

“Yah!” His face holds a look of devastation while staring at my phone and I can’t help but laugh.

I grab my phone after I’m done laughing and smirk, “I’ll show you how it’s done.” I start the game and I climb up about 4 islands until I fall.

“Ha! You can’t do it too.” He smirks at me.

I shove him on the shoulder, “Well, I did better than you so I think that counts as winning.” I stick my tongue out at him making the “mehrong” sound. Once again Minho takes the phone away from me and tries the game again. This time, he gets farther up than me before he falls. He turns his head towards me holding my phone out to me and does a smug look at me smirking that reads, “Who’s the winner now?” I puff my cheeks up and I’m about to grab my phone until someone else takes it instead. I look up to see Krystal looking at my phone.

“What are you playing Oppa?” She looks over to Minho.

“It’s a game on Kate-ah’s phone. It’s fun, you should try it.” He smiles up at her. I feel the sting in my heart again, but I ignore it.

She takes a glance my way then holds out my phone, but look at Minho smiling, “No thanks, maybe some other time. Oppa, I came over because it’s your turn now.”

“Ah, chincha? Arasseo.” He stands up gives one last smile at both of us, then walks over to the photographer. Krystal watches him walk over there, and then turns back towards me, giving me a hard stare quickly changing into a smile.

She sits herself down next to me, “Kate-unnie, can I ask you a favor?”

“Um, sure, depends on what the favor is.” I say putting my phone back in my bag.

“It would be nice, if you can keep distance between you and Minho-oppa.” She says in a kind voice, but I can hear the seriousness that came with it.

I look up at her slightly surprised, “Mwoaeyo?”

“I’m uncomfortable with you living under the same roof as him when I’m the one dating Minho-oppa, but I can get over that. It’s the fact that I can see you like him that bothers me.”

“Mwoaeyo!?” My slight surprise turns into full on shock, but I make it fade quickly, “Where did you get that idea from?”

“I can clearly see it.” Krystal states bluntly. ‘Wow, so she can tell on the day I meet her for the first time, but with the guys…they have no idea except Taemin, and I’ve lived with them for a while now. Is it that they’re completely clueless to my obvious feelings, or Krystal is just really intuitive?’

“Well, sorry, but you’re wrong Krystal-ah. I only see Minho-oppa as a friend and nothing more, so you don’t have to worry.” It amazes me how easily I can lie sometimes.

“Arasseo, either way, I would like you to stay away from him as much as possible please.” She gives me a smile, but I can see right through it easily. I nod and smile back. After our little conversation, Minho comes back from his turn at the photo shoot.

“What did you guys talk about while I was gone?” he cheerfully says.

“Nothing much, just some girl talk haha. Sit next to me, Oppa.” She pats the spot next to her and he sits down. Krystal turns back to me and gives me a look and I know what it means.

“Um…” I stand up, “I’m going to see what Taemin-ah is up to.” I do my best to act casual.

“Chincha? I wanted to play that game again.”

“Maybe some other time, arasseo?” With that, I left the two alone and I walk over to Taemin to talk to him for a while.

“Noona, gwenchana?” It’s the first thing he asks when he sees me come over to him.

“Hm? Ne, I’m just a little tired.” I give him a reassuring smile. He stares at me for a few more seconds until Taemin turns back to the snack, grabs a piece of food, and eats it. While his attention is at the table, I turn to glance over at Minho and Krystal. ‘He looks so happy with her. I can definitely see why Minho likes her. She seems nice…even though not really to me and…’ Krystal then gets up because it’s her turn to get her pictures taken. Minho is watching the photo shoot and I also watch her pose in the outfit they gave her, ‘…plus, she’s so pretty. I’m nowhere near as pretty as her.’

Taemin picks up another of whatever he just ate holding it out to me, “Noona, you should try this! It’s really good!” I turn my head back to Taemin and then down at his hand that has the piece of food.

“Um, no thanks Taemin-ah. I’m not really hungry.” I say to him with a small smile. Truthfully, as soon as my eyes landed on the piece of food, my stomach growled like crazy.

“Arasseo. We should definitely get this one day so we can eat it back at the dorm.” I nod at his response. Krystal’s turn is done and she walks back over to where Minho is, but he’s not there anymore. She sits back down anyway, waiting for him to get back, most likely from the men’s room.

“Taemin-ah, Krystal-ah is alone right now. You should go talk to her.” I smile at him.

“Anio, Noona.” Taemin’s face falls into a serious one.

“Mwo? Wae?” I ask confused.

“I don’t want to do anything that gets in the way of Hyung’s relationship.” My face falls a little and Taemin can clearly see it. “Noona, I know you like Hyung, but if you really do, then you shouldn’t interfere with them and let him be happy.” What Taemin says sinks into me slowly.

“Ne, you’re right.” I look away from him and back over to Krystal who’s with Minho again. They both look happy and it’s true that I wouldn’t want to change that in anyway. To change the sad mood, I face Taemin and pinch both of his cheeks with a grin on my face. “Aw! Taemin-ah! You’re growing up so fast!”

He steps back pulling away from my grip, “Yah! You’re only older than me by one year.” He pouts and I can’t help but laugh. I stop my laughing when I hear the photographer make an announcement that they’ll now start the group shots. Everyone needed to change into a new outfit from the clothing line and once they’re done, the first group is called. In the first one, it’s Taemin, Sulli, Onew, and Victoria.

They look like they’re having so much fun and since I start getting bored, I think of an evil plan. I walk closer to the shoot just enough for Taemin to be able to see me. All of a sudden, I start making faces and doing crazy moves with my body to try and make him laugh. Taemin spots me and in an instant starts laughing. Onew looks over at Taemin then turns his head to see why he’s laughing only to start laughing too when spotting me. I stop instantly when the photographer takes notice scolding both of them, but all three of us were still chuckling from it after. I stay in the same spot since it’s a good few while the next set of people is Amber, Key, and Krystal. Key fits right in being on full diva mode. At some points, I think Key is outshining both the girls since his poses just scream fashionable. The third group is Minho, Luna, and Jonghyun. Minho looks handsome as always, and so does Jonghyun. Both give me chills with some poses and expressions they do during the shoot.

Even though it’s fun watching everyone getting their pictures taken, I start to get a little bored. I space out while watching them, but I snap out of it when I see Jonghyun walk towards the photographer. I can see them talking, but I can’t hear anything even though I’m kind of close. The photographer does a final nod and then gestures to a stylist and make-up artist now talking to them. Jonghyun walks back to his spot turning his head back towards me giving me a smirk. Now, I’m getting curious, ‘Jonghyun, what did you do?’ Quickly turning my head back over to the photographer, the stylist and make-up artist walk towards me. ‘Jonghyun…you didn’t!?’ I wave my hands in front of me while shaking my head, but the stylist takes my arm and pushes me into a changing room handing me clothes. ‘He did!’ Since the photographer is waiting, I have to change.

I get out from the room and now I’m getting pulled by the make-up artist. She gives me light make-up that’s just BB cream, eyeliner, lip-gloss, and some light eye shadow. The hairstylist now comes and makes my hair curly. Once everything is done, the stylist pulls me towards the photo shoot. The photographer looks me up and down, then nods in approval. I walk towards Minho, Luna, and Jonghyun who all smile that I’m joining them. I stand in between Luna and Jonghyun, and then I hear him whisper something to me.

“Cheonmannaeyo.” I can tell he’s smirking and when I look over at him, he is. I give him a glare, “Mwo? I thought you would like it. You looked so bored standing there the whole time, plus it’s good to get practice.” He smiles at me now and I just sigh.

“Ne, hajiman…I wasn’t expecting it and I wasn’t really ready to be in a photo shoot. Still…gamsahabnida.”

“Well, I hope you’re ready now…smile!” We both look at the camera and start posing with the rest. Some are serious, and some light-hearted. The whole time, in my head I thought that it’s going to be ruined because of me since all of them are so good-looking while I’m just ordinary. In the middle of our shoot, the photographer tells us to change spots. He tells me to be between Minho and Jonghyun while Luna is next to Jonghyun. ‘Oh no.’ Minho wraps his left arm around me while Jonghyun puts his right arm around my waist. I smile for the camera, but on the inside, I’m panicking. My head is rushing through the confused thoughts between these two and it’s starting to overwhelm me. ‘Why did they both have to be in this shoot!? The two guys I’m confused about are holding onto me! Calm down, Kate…we’re almost done.’

 Like the photographer knew what I was thinking, he asks both of them to move closer to me. Their grip on me is a little tighter and now I’m closer to their bodies. My heart is beating out of my chest. On one side, I’m happy I’m so close to them, and on the other side, my thoughts get in the way. I decide to let the good side take over and have fun with the photo shoot. My eye then catches some people watching the photo shoot. I see Key, Taemin, Victoria, and Krystal. Once my eyes fall on Krystal, I snap out of my bliss and back into reality. ‘I can’t do this!’ Luckily, as soon as I can’t take anymore, the photo shoot is done. I quickly pull away from their grip, bow thanking the staff, and exit the building to get some air.

The cool breeze on my face feels good and makes me relax. ‘It was only fifteen minutes, but that felt so…intense for me.’ I decide to sit on a bench that’s in front of the building and take some more time outside since it’s nice outside. The weather these days is slowly getting warmer. About twenty minutes pass until I hear someone come out of the building. I turn to see Minho walking and taking a seat beside me.

“Kate-ah, gwenchana?” he asks me.

I fake my best smile and turn to him, “Ne, gwenchana. It was just stuffy in there and I needed some fresh air.”

“Arasseo.” I’m now looking straight with my gaze on the ground, and then I feel his hand rest on my shoulder lightly sending shivers down my spine. “Kate-ah, you know that if there’s ever a problem, you can come to me.” I turn back and see the charismatic smile that I love seeing.

I just look at him in silence for a few seconds before saying anything, “Ne, I know. Gamsahabnida.” I return his smile, but this time it’s a genuine one. The rest of the members come out of the building along with f(x). I now take notice of the two vans parked at the curb. Minho stands up and holds out his hand for me. “I’ll come in a minute.” He nods and walks over to the guys. I now stand and see him joking around laughing with everyone, then going over to Krystal saying good-bye since f(x) has to do a radio interview while we go back to the dorm. I sigh and my face falls once again, then I say quietly to myself, “I wish I could tell you what’s wrong.”

Everyone says their good-byes and I say good-bye to the girls too. I became friends with Amber and Luna mostly, but I did get along with the others, not really Krystal. Since it was a short ride to the building, the ride back is just as short. It’s around 5pm now, and Key decides to get take-out instead of cooking. I’m next to Taemin on the couch watching some TV, Minho is taking a shower, Key is setting the table for dinner, Onew is at the table helping Key, and Jonghyun is in their room. Minho is out of the shower now joining us to watch TV. He plops himself right next to me.

“What are you guys watching?” he asks us with his attention on the screen.

“Nothing really, just channel surfing.” Taemin answers him while flipping through channels.

“Give me the remote; I want to see if there’s a game going on.” Minho leans over me reaching for the remote from Taemin and I feel my face automatically heat up.

“Anio, you just got here!” Taemin holds the remote away from Minho which makes him lean over me more. ‘Just give him the remote Taemin!’

“Yah! You’re not really watching something!” Since Minho has long arms, he finally takes hold of the remote and Taemin pouts crossing his arms.

I stand up hiding my face a little, “Um, I’m going to go use the bathroom.” I walk away most likely leaving the two confused. Once inside the bathroom I take a deep breath. ‘Ugh! This day is just…too much!’ I remember Krystal’s words in my head along with Taemin’s. I lean on the sink and stare at myself in the mirror with a serious look. ‘I know what to do now…I have to avoid him…at least until my feelings for him fade. I can’t wait for what might not happen, and it’s unfair to Jonghyun.’ Suddenly, I remember something I needed to do.‘I still have to ask him that!’

I walk out of the bathroom and go towards SHINee’s room. Upon entering, I see Jonghyun on his bed that’s the top bunk on the left. He’s looking down at some papers with a serious face writing from time to time. I climb on the bed that’s in the middle that connects the two bunk beds, which is Onew’s bed. I lay my folded arms on the edge of Jonghyun’s bed from the side and rest my head on them to see what he’s doing. ‘Writing lyrics?’

“Jonghyun-oppa.” I start saying.

“Mm?” He’s so concentrated that his eyes are glued to the papers in front of him. ‘Wow, when he works, he’s so serious about it.’

“Um…” I hesitantly start, “remember when I was sick in bed?”

“Mm.” Jonghyun writes something on one of the papers.

“Did…did you kiss me that day?” I look at his face for any reaction.

“Hm?” His head leans a little towards me to hear clearer and glances at me.

“Did you kiss me the day I was sick in bed?” I ask a little louder and clearer.

“Hm? Oh, ne.” Once he responds, he again writes something down. ‘Well, I guess I know who the mystery person is now. I kind of knew it was him since he loves skinship.’ I look up at his face and stare at him for a while without saying anything. I’m contemplating whether I should say something or not. He notices I’m still here and glances at me again, “Mwo?”

I take a deep breath, “N-ne.”

He’s still absorbed in his work, “Mwo?”

“N-ne…I’ll be your girlfriend.” I say it quietly and slowly now looking away as a blush creeps up on my face. He suddenly stops all movement from writing and now turns his head giving me his full attention.

“What did you say?” his expression looks slightly surprised when I take a glance at his face.

“I said…I-I’ll be your girlfriend.” I bury my face in my arms after saying it, feeling my face become a cherry. Jonghyun unfolds his pretzel legs and hops down onto Onew’s bed so he’s standing next to me.

He turns me to face him grabbing my shoulders, “Chincha? Are you serious? Are you sure you want to?” Jonghyun’s face is serious and he’s looking me in the eye to search if I’m lying or not.

I give him a small smile, “Ne. Jonghyun-oppa…I want you to be my first boyfriend.” His face goes from serious, to an excited grin. He takes both of my hands then he starts jumping on the bed making me end up jumping along with him. I laugh at his kid-like behavior, “Aigo! You ruined Onew-oppa’s bed!”

“Whatever! I’m happy that we’re finally official!” He then stops jumping, “Can we tell the others?”

“Ne, hajiman…I don’t want it public still.”

“Arasseo, I understand…come on let’s go tell them!” He grabs my wrist and we get off the bed heading out of the room.

Once in the hallway I stop him, “Oh, hold on, I want to go charge my phone since I was playing games on it all day. Go to the table without me.” Jonghyun gives me a nod and he walks away. I head to my door and when I get close, I hear a voice.

I put my ear to the door to listen, “Yoboseyo?” ‘Onew? I guess he’s making a private call. I should leave him alone and come back later then.’ “Who is this?” ‘Wait…why is he speaking in English?’ “Oh, no…this is Onew. Why do you want to talk to Kate?” ‘Oh my gosh! It can’t be!’ I open my door quickly and see Onew talking on my old phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learn some Korean~!

Changmalaeyo - Really? (Another way to say it other than chincha, but this is the formal way. Changmal is the informal.)

Wah!!! I hate not being able to right often :( I'm giving you long chapters to make up for the long breaks in between. I am happy to day that I have now classes for three days this week so I can spend my time writing! Yay! Thanks for reading<3

By the way...I did my 2nd audition~! Kpop Star Survival Audition was fun even though I didn't pass. Met some cool people, got filmed in a little interview, blasted kpop in the auditorium with the music videos displayed on the stage. I MIGHT be on TV keke~! Another audition and I'm gaining more experience :) I was a little upset, but then...my SMTown ticket came in the mail! Woo!!! Now I have the free concert and SMTown to cheer me up! I'm going to see SHINee LIVE! Along with BEAST, TVXQ, Super Junior....and more...KYA!!! My birthday passed not too long ago (21st) and I really have to thank my parents for buying my SMTown ticket<3 Oh gosh..I'm 19...I'm feeling old lol >.<