I wake up feeling my bed shaking. When I look around, I see Yoogeun jumping on my bed to try and wake me up, which he succeeded at. Since I don’t know what time it is, I search for the clock in my room and see that it’s 8pm. I then notice that my pillow is wet and start to wonder why that is. After thinking, I recall what happened before I took my nap. ‘Minho…Jonghyun.’ My mind starts racing with thoughts of what happened while I was sleeping, but I don’t want to leave my room in fear of facing Jonghyun or Minho.

Snapping me out of my daze, I see Yoogeun hopping over to me clearly wanting to play. Yoogeun and I play in my room for a half hour until I start to feel worried again. ‘I have to come out of my room eventually. Yoogeun’s mom is coming to pick him up soon and the guys will start worrying too.’ With that thought I think about how Jonghyun worried about me and how he now is probably worrying about me. ‘Wait…where’s Jonghyun? Did he come back to the dorm?’

While Yoogeun is busy playing with his action figure, I take my chance to go near my door and put my ear against it to see if he’s here or not. All I hear is the TV, but then remember something ‘…Didn’t he turn off the TV before taking me to that room?’ I start feeling extremely nervous with my heart racing because I have no idea what to do and how to face him, then my next thought pops in my head. ‘What am I going to do about Minho? He didn’t see me, so that should be fine…but...I don’t think I can face him without thinking about what I saw. No! I’m strong enough to handle acting normal around Minho! I’ll be fine.’ My ear is still on the door, but I was so distracted by my thoughts that I didn’t hear the guys come in. I jump away from my door when I hear a loud knock against it from the other side. I get scared thinking its Jonghyun, but then I hear Taemin’s voice.

“Kate-ah! We heard that Yoogeun-ah is here!” he says cheerfully through the door. ‘I guess Taemin and the others don’t know about anything.’ I open the door smiling, but I instantly stop when I see Minho standing behind Taemin at the door.

“Yoogeun-ah!” Minho shouts to him with a bright smile. Yoogeun takes notice of both of them and he runs over to Minho and he picks him up. They both have their attention on Yoogeun while I’m standing there frozen.

I hear Onew shout in another room, “Kate-ah! The chocolates were great! Gamsahabnida!”

“Ne! They really were! Gamsahabnida!” Key also shouts from another room.

“What chocolates?” Minho asks puzzled.

“Kate-ah made chocolates for everyone! Didn’t you get some!?” Key shouts his reply to Minho.

“Anio!” shouting back to Key. He then looks to me, but his attention quickly goes back to Yoogeun when he pats him on the face saying “Minho-appa.”

“Did you and Yoogeun-ah have fun today?” Taemin says now putting his attention back on me smiling. I see his smile fade when he sees how I look, which is probably not good, and asks “Kate-ah?” When I don’t answer Minho now looks at me again and Taemin asks again, “Kate-ah? Are you ok?” I look at both of them, ‘I…I can’t do it!’ I run out my room pushing pass them and head for the exit. I don’t see where I’m going and bump into Key who looks down at me confused.

“Kate-ah? What’s the rush?” he asks jokingly, but I just look at him with a straight face.

“Kate-ah?” I look back to see Taemin and Minho walking towards me which causes me to start running out the door again. I pass the couch and take a quick glance to Jonghyun, but I don’t look long enough to see his face. I’m finally out the door and I run to a park near the dorms. I stop to catch my breath and take a seat at a bench near a fountain.

My phone then rings and I take it out of my pocket to see who it is and I say silently to the phone, “Ugh! Why are you calling me now? I clearly don’t want to talk to you.” I cut the call and put it back in my pocket. I then look up again, watching the full moon that’s out today.

It’s dark and no one is around so I take this opportunity to shed a few tears looking up at the stars thinking. ‘I thought I could handle seeing Minho after that…but I guess not. When I saw him, I instantly felt pain like someone stabbed me with a knife. What should I do?’ So into my thoughts, I didn’t notice someone walking up to me until they stop really close to me. ‘I knew Taemin would come after me. Now I can talk to him.’ I look over to see Taemin, but it’s not him…it’s Minho. I don’t know what to do, ‘I want to run away again, but I know that will make things worse since he doesn’t know that I saw him and that’s why I’m sad.’

 “Kate-ah,” Minho starts walking to me again and I quickly wipe the tears I have on my face. He takes a seat on the bench a few feet away from me. “What’s wrong?” he asks looking over at me. I just look forward, looking at the fountain and don’t respond. ‘I can’t tell him.’ He speaks again, but a little more forcefully, “Kate-ah, tell me why you ran out like that.”

I lean forward having my arms rest on my knees while having my head down looking at my hands before making up an excuse, “Mianhaeyo. I’m upset because…I gave everyone else their chocolates, but not yours. They were all thank you gifts for everything you guys have done for me and I worked hard on them…but I lost yours.” ‘I’m not really lying. I did lose his gift…dropping it from when I saw him…which is the actual reason.’ I feel Minho put his hand on my knee and I can’t help but look up at him.

I look at the features on his face, how they’re all defined from the moonlight hitting him perfectly. I could see his well defined jaw line, the sparkle in his dark chocolate orbs, his skin radiating, his lips looking redder and fuller than usual, his hair looking so soft with the slight wind lifting it a little, and it’s all because of the moonlight. I’m in a moment where I never want to look away, how I want to just stay there gazing at the breath-taking man in front of me.

I’m pulled out of my trance when I hear him speak in his deep velvet voice while gracing his face with a small smile, “Kate-ah, gwenchana. I’m happy that you even made me something. I have no doubt that the chocolates you made me were amazing. Please, don’t worry about it and smile again.” His words touch my heart and I’m left speechless. ‘How…how I wish I can tell you how I feel in this moment.’ I give him a small smile, but I can feel my eyes start to water. Before they fall over the brim of my eyes, I hear someone shout my name.

“Noona!” I look behind Minho and he turns around also to see Taemin running towards us. He finally gets to us and he leans forward still standing, putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. Once he does, he continues, “Kate-noona, why did you run out all of a sudden!?” I stay silent looking down because I don’t want to say the real reason, since one of the reasons is here. Minho turns to me and then back to Taemin.

He then gets up walking past Taemin, then stopping to say, “I’m going to head back, so you both can talk. Kate-ah,” he turns around to look at me and I look up at him, “feel better.” After he says that, he turns back around and walks away. Taemin then takes the same seat next to me that Minho took.

“Now can you tell me what’s going on?” Taemin asks me a bit concerned. I’m about to open my mouth to tell him everything until a thought occurred to me. ‘Wait…Taemin doesn’t know that Minho and Krystal are together because if he did…he wouldn’t have been helping me get us together. Plus, he wouldn’t be asking me why I’m upset right now. If Taemin doesn’t know, most likely none of the guys know…so Minho must be keeping it private. Since he is…I can’t spread it around even if it’s between Taemin and I or the other guys.’ “Noona?” I snap out of my thoughts and see Taemin’s hand waving in front of my face.

“Mianhaeyo, Taemin-ah.” I apologize and give him a tiny smile. He puts his hand down and waits for an answer. ‘I guess…all I can tell him is about Jonghyun.’ “Taemin-ah…”

“Ne?”

“You…were wrong about Jonghyun-oppa.” I start saying.

“What do you mean?” he asks now looking confused.

I take a deep breath before saying, “We were watching Yoogeun and Jonghyun-oppa was acting like his normal self. I decide to meet Minho-oppa when he gets out because I forgot to give him his gift. On the way I…lost his chocolates and I became really upset since I worked hard on them. So I go back to the dorm and Jonghyun-oppa right away notices that I was upset. He asked me what happened, but I was too upset to talk, so he pulls me into a room with a piano.”

“The music room?” he asks.

“Ne. To make me feel better, he plays a song on the piano and sings to me.”

“What song?” he asks curiously.

“Taemin-ah! That doesn’t matter!” I reply a little frustrated.

“Mianhaeyo.” Taemin says looking a little upset.

“Gwenchana.” He feels better and then I continue, “Anyway, after he finishes the song he says I don’t have to tell him what’s wrong and that he just doesn’t like seeing me sad. I smile saying thank you…and then…”

“And then?”

“…Taemin-ah! Jonghyun-oppa kissed me!” I shout standing up.

“Mwoeayo!? Just on the cheek right?”

“Anio! If it was just on the cheek would I be spazzing this much!?” I shout again in reply.

“Anio…”

“Taemin-ah…he kissed me! That was my first kiss! I never wanted my first kiss to be a forced one! I mean…I didn’t expect it at all! The time I over-think something and its right, but then you said to not over-think so I listen…but I was right this time! I don’t know what to do!” I yell my rant while pacing back and forth. Taemin stands up and stops me from pacing by gently placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Noona, calm down please.” He says looking at me with concern. I take a deep breath and calm myself down. Taemin then asks, “What did you do after hyung kissed you?”

“I…pulled away quickly. He was starting to say something, but I ran away before he had the opportunity.” I look away from Taemin remembering what happened.

“So you haven’t talked to him after that?” In response to his question, I just shake my head slowly still looking away. Even though my eyes are sore and swollen, they still manage to build more tears for them to escape.

“Noona…” I feel his grip tighten a little. I look over at Taemin and he too had the moonlight hitting his face perfectly for me to see all his features. He looks so pretty, but would look prettier if he doesn’t have the worried look on his face.

In an instant, I wrap my arms around Taemin’s waist and let the tears escape on his shoulder saying in between sobs “Taemin-ah, I don’t know what to do.” ‘He must think I’m taking it too hard just for this situation…but I’m also crying about Minho. I wish I can tell Taemin about it, but it wouldn’t be right to reveal Minho’s secret not matter how badly I want to.’

I feel his arms wrap around me and says quietly near my ear, “Everything will be ok.” After he says that, he silently lets me cry on him, even though his shoulder is getting soaked with my tears, until I’m done.

Once my crying is into sobs, he takes hold of my shoulders pushing me away a little to make eye contact and says in a serious tone, “Kate-noona, you know what you need to do. You have to go and talk to Jonghyun-hyung.”

“Taemin-ah…I don’t think I can…”

He now gives me his tiny angelic smile which shines even brighter because of the moonlight and says, “I know you can do it, noona. Do it when you’re ready to.” I smile and give him a nod. He then pulls me into another hug which I gladly accept. After a moment, I feel Taemin give me a tiny kiss on the head and then rests his chin on top of it. The action he does makes me smile making me feel happy that I have him to talk to and I can rely on him.

“Gamsahabnida, Taemin-ah…for always being there.” I say this mostly to myself.

Even though I say it quietly he hears it and says, “Cheonmannaeyo, noona…anytime.”

We finally pull away and I say to him smiling, “I’m ready to head back now.”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine once we’re there.”

“…I don’t know…but I’m definitely not sleeping on a bench!” Taemin laughs at my comment and I laugh along with him. When walking home, Taemin tells me about his day and how Onew ate all the chicken, even the chicken that was made to not be edible that was just for the commercial. I get worried asking if he’s ok and Taemin says that the staff pulled the chicken away in time before he took more than one bite. Taemin adds that even though they saved him from poisoning himself, Onew went into a corner feeling sad and depressed. I can’t help but laugh when picturing Onew acting like a little kid going to a corner like he’s being punished. ‘If Onew did eat the chicken…then there wouldn’t be any commercial to shoot. You can’t shoot a chicken commercial without any chicken. Onew…you chicken fiend!’ After talking and walking for a little longer, we finally reach the dorms. I stop getting nervous while Taemin keeps walking. He then notices that I’m not next to him and turns around to see that I stopped.

He walks back over to me and reassures me by saying, “Don’t worry, noona. If anything, I’ll help out.” I nod to him and we continue walking to our dorm. As soon as I enter, I see Key jumping right to me and giving me hug which is more like a tackle.

“Kate-ah! You’re back! Where did you go!? I was so worried about you!” Key shouts in my ear while giving me a death hug.

“Yah! Key-oppa! I’m fine! Let me breathe!”

He let’s go of me and pats me on the head smiling calmly, “Well, I’m glad your back and safe.” Key walks away while I give him a strange look. ‘PMSing diva!’ I hear Taemin laugh behind me from the scene that just took place and I turn around giving him a slight glare which makes him stop immediately. Entering the living room, I see Onew pass by us…holding my chicken stuffed animal.

I walk over to him and take it asking, “Yah! Why did you go in my room and take my stuffed animal!?”

Onew attempts to grab it back but fails while saying, “I was craving chicken, but Key-ah refused to make some, so I wanted to at least hold a chicken.”

“…But that doesn’t make any sense!” I say trying to snap him out of it. He grabs the stuffed animal then starts to walk to where Key went, most likely to try and get him to make chicken. I’m about to say something to him and go to get my stuffed animal, but Taemin puts his hand on my shoulder giving me a look that says “Let him be.” I sigh and give up, ‘I’m getting back my stuffed animal eventually…that is one chicken Onew can’t have.’ Right after Onew walks away, Taemin and I see Minho emerge from the bathroom with a tooth brush in his mouth.

He takes the toothbrush out of his mouth and asks us, “What’s with all the shouting this late at night?”

I don’t say anything and so Taemin responds, “Mianhaeyo, hyung.” After that, Minho just turns and heads back to the bathroom. Before Minho reaches the bathroom, Taemin stops him and asks, “Hyung, do you know where Jonghyun-hyung and Yoogeun-ah is?” My stomach drops and I start to feel nervous. ‘Taemin! I’m not ready to talk to him!’

“Ne, he was on his bed just staring up at the ceiling. I think he’s asleep now though, but I’m not sure since the blanket is over his head. Yoogeun-ah already got picked up by his eomma.” Minho replies. I feel guilt hearing Jonghyun is lying in bed, ‘I hope he’s not crying…’

“Gamsahabnida, hyung!” After Taemin thanking Minho, he walks back into the bathroom and finishes getting ready for bed.

I slap Taemin on the arm and whisper, “Taemin-ah! Why did you ask that!? I’m not ready to talk to him!”

“I know. I asked so you can avoid him right now, which will be easy since he’s sleeping.” He whispers back ending with a grin and a thumbs up.

I just sigh shaking my head and say, “You really need to give me a heads up before doing your plans.”

He laughs at my comment, “Next time I will. Jal ja, noona!”

“Jal ja.” We split and both get ready to go to bed. I leave the bathroom but before I enter my room, I take a peek into SHINee’s bedroom. I look to where Jonghyun’s bed is, which is the top bunk that’s closest to the door and all I can see, is a blanket since its dark. I walk in a little to try and get a better view. I can then see his blanket cover his body completely, but then when I look to his head…I make eye contact with Jonghyun. I get surprised turning around exiting the room immediately going to my room.

I lie down in my bed, but can’t fall asleep right away so I look up at my ceiling thinking. ‘How did things get so complicated? I don’t know when I’ll talk to Jonghyun or if I’ll actually will…but if I don’t, things will get really awkward in the dorm. I just saw him and made eye contact with him. The room was dark, but that brief moment looking at his eyes…were they swollen?’ I feel guilt in the pit of my stomach. ‘I didn’t mean to run, but…he just really surprised me and I didn’t know what to do or say! I got scared and now I’m scared to approach him. Will he try talking to me? I don’t want Jonghyun to cry. He just had to kiss me right after I witnessed Minho and Krystal.’ My thoughts then turn to Minho.‘Minho looked so stunning tonight. Why…why did it have to turn out like this? It could’ve been simple…just confess and hear an answer from him. If he’s happy…then I guess I can’t complain. My first Valentine’s Day in Korea…and this is what happens. I am not looking forward to next year’s.’

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I really want to take the time to thank everyone who has subscriebed to my story! It means so much to me that you like it! I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I have a summer college class and it's just blegh haha. Plus, I just submitted an audition video to a kpop contest! I'm supposed to hear something on Monday *crosses fingers*. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter and thank you again! <3 ^^