I keep running until I’m out of breath and then I lean against a nearby tree taking a break. ‘I think I’ve run far enough and I don’t think Minho followed me.’ I now sit and lean against the tree looking up at the sky whispering to myself “Why did I do that?” ‘How am I going to get out of this? I never wanted to be THAT girl. The girl who makes a person’s relationship with someone complicated or just messing with it in general. How am I going to face Minho? He looked so shocked by the kiss…well duh! Of course he would be taken aback by it! I would too if that happened to…’ I pause and then chuckle to myself a little. ‘It did happen to me. I guess I’m Jonghyun in this situation, and Minho is me. The only difference is that he didn’t run, I did…once again.’ I sigh putting my face in my hands thinking of a way out of this sudden drama I created.

The sun is starting to set and I finally get up, but still no luck in what I have to do. While standing up, I feel dizzy and stumble holding myself up against the tree. ‘I guess I shouldn’t have run that much.’ I now think about how I’m going to go back to the dorm. “I can’t go back there…I’ll have to stay at the SM building tonight. I’ll at least get extra practice.” I sigh now remembering the fight with Taemin. ‘I know it’s bad to practice too much, but I’m just doing it so I don’t see Minho and I won’t push myself like before.’ My head turns up towards the sun seeing it set and I say quietly to myself, “I need to apologize to Taemin.”

I walk to the SM building stumbling from time to time because I’m now exhausted and at my limit. ‘I’ll take a nap before starting practice again.’ I reach the building after a few more minutes. Before I could reach for the door to enter, the door opens from the other side. I don’t see who the person is because my vision starts to get blurry. In the next moment, I feel myself collapsing into the person and everything goes black.

My eyes slowly open to reveal that I’m in the lounge that I was in before laying on the couch. I can tell my head is resting on someone’s lap and I assume it’s the person who I fell onto. I look around before looking up to see the face of the person above me.

“You’re finally awake. Kate-ah, gwenchana?” The person I see is Jonghyun and when my vision gets clearer, I see his facial expression which is a worried look.

“J-Jonghyun-oppa!?” I’m surprised and I try to sit up since I’m embarrassed about lying on his lap, but he gently pushes me back down.

“Anio, you should rest. You look exhausted and you collapsed right in front of me.” It’s true what he says, I am completely exhausted. I turn my head slightly so I don’t make eye contact with him, but I can tell he’s smiling since I know my cheeks are tinted red. It stays silent for a few minutes until I feel his hand tuck the strands of hair in my face behind my ear and then my hair in a slow pace. My blush instantly deepens from his touch sending a shiver up my spine and as a reflex I look up at him finally making eye contact. Jonghyun has the same look of concern, but once I make eye contact I see the sides of his mouth curve and form into a tiny smile looking down at me with affection.

The smile then fades and he says quietly not breaking eye contact, “I really wish you would take better care of yourself, Kate-ah.” I instantly feel a pang of guilt for making him worry about me.

“I know….mianhaeyo.” I say finally breaking the eye contact looking to the side.

“Gwenchana. Just don’t push yourself this much again.” I nod in agreement. “Hajiman…” I now look towards him again seeing a smirk replace his frown which causes me to raise my eyebrow. “I do like being your nurse.”

I reach for a cushion closest to me and bop him on the head with it, “Jonghyun-oppa!” He laughs when looking down at me and I ask confused, “Mwoaeyo?”

“Your face is completely red!” Jonghyun says in between fits of laughter. My eyes widen when I realize how hot my face is and I put the cushion over my face. I feel his hand grab my wrist pulling it down so the cushion is also pulled down revealing half of my red face again. I look up and see him smile, “Anio, don’t hide your face. You look cute when you’re blushing.” His comment only makes me blush more if that’s even possible and I hear him chuckle and say under his breath “So cute.” He places his other hand on top of my head while the other one is still holding my wrist. Jonghyun then leans down towards me and I close my eyes feeling him kiss my forehead. I open my eyes after to see him grinning at me.

The moment ends when someone calls for him, “Jonghyun-ah! We’re heading back!” I recognize the voice and it’s Onew. I hear Jonghyun sigh from annoyance, most likely because Onew ruined the little moment. My blush fades and I then remember something.

I then sit up and turn to Jonghyun, “Jonghyun-oppa!”

He gives me a puzzled look, “Ne?”

“Can you get Taemin-ah for me please? I need to talk to him.” He stares at me before agreeing and he gets up to go find him for me, but before he left completely I call him again, “Jonghyun-oppa!” He turns back around to face me, “Gamsahabnida…for being my nurse.” I smile and look down while blushing, but look back up.

“Anytime. I’ll be your personal nurse every time you’re not feeling well…or whatever the case is.” He smirks and winks at me before turning back around walking out. I just sigh at his behavior getting used to it by now. I wait a few minutes before I see Taemin walking in frowning. I stand up and he walks towards me until he’s a few feet away.

“Taemin-ah…” I feel awful for making everyone worry about me and especially Taemin. “…mianhaeyo. You’re right, I’ve been pushing myself too much and I’ve made everyone and you especially worry about me. I was being a pabo for not taking care of myself and ignoring everyone.”

“Noona…I should apologize too. After you walked out, I felt awful about yelling at you. I should have just talked to you instead of shouted, but I was just really worried about your health. Mianhaeyo, Kate-noona.” Taemin says this all to me while looking down looking like he was about to cry. I walk over and give him a hug which startles him a little.

“Gwenchana, Taemin-ah.” I say to him and he now hugs me back. We break the hug and I chuckle saying, “I guess we’re both a couple of pabos.” He now chuckles nodding his head in agreement.

“Oh! So we’re about to head back to the dorm and we have room in our van. Gaja, everyone is waiting for us.” He gestures me to follow him while he starts walking out of the lounge.

I start to feel bad about what I say next, “Um, Taemin-ah…I’m staying in the SM building for the night.”

He turns back around clearly confused, “Wae?” ‘I can’t tell him that I kissed Minho. I don’t want Taemin to see me as an awful person. I don’t want him to look at me and think I’m that kind of girl.’

I now look down not able to see his face, “I’m…going to stay and practice more.”

“…Didn’t you just apologize for pushing yourself too much?” I can hear the slight frustration in Taemin’s voice.

“Ne…hajiman…since I walked out, I missed some of my schedule today. I want to make up for it.”

“Noona!” I wince hearing him shout now completely frustrated. “You just said you weren’t going to pushing yourself! You said that you didn’t want me or the other guys worrying about you! So come with us back to the dorm!” It sounds like Taemin is now pleading. I still look down squeezing my eyes shut so no tears form. ‘I would go back Taemin…but I can’t, at least not tonight. I have to make you mad at me Taemin, so you leave for the dorm without me.’

I look up glaring at him, “Well I’m so sorry Taemin-ah! Excuse me while I think about your every need and ignore my own wants! Not everyone is perfect at dancing and singing like you! Just go back without me because you’re now wasting my time!” I turn my back to him.

“Arasseo! Stay here for all I care!” I can hear him stomp out of the lounge and the door slam shut which causes me to wince. I sit back on the couch and then lay down on my side letting the few tears that built up escape.

“Mianhaeyo, Taemin-ah.” I whisper.

I slowly wake-up the next day and look down at my pillow to see the tear stains. I look up at the ceiling and take a big sigh before I sit up on the couch I slept on. The clock on the wall reads seven in the morning and I instantly feel like going back to sleep. Today wasn’t a day off for both SHINee and I, so I knew that the guys would be here at the building soon. Remembering what happened the other day makes me plop down on the couch again and go under my covers. ‘Can’t I just sleep until everyone forgets what happened yesterday?’ I feel my nerves start to kick in. ‘Am I going to run into Minho today? Maybe by luck I won’t see him at all. I don’t know what to do yet about him and the...’ I turn my face into the cool pillow to try and make my face stop heating up. ‘Other than that…did I completely ruin my friendship with Taemin now? Maybe I should have just told him the real reason for staying here instead of getting him mad at me. I just didn’t want him to see me as THAT girl…but I should know that he wouldn’t judge me like that.’ It’s just the morning and already I feel stressed out. “Aish! What am I going to do!?” I muffle into my pillow.

After a few more minutes of lying on the couch hoping things magically get fixed, I finally get up and prepare for what I have to do today. I put on clean clothes that I usually keep in the building just in case of anything and now head to the dance studio. I’m late so I start running, but I don’t pay attention to what’s in front of me and bump into someone. I look up to see that it’s Jonghyun.

“Ah! Jonghyun-oppa! Mianhaeyo, I’m late for my practice and I wasn’t paying attention.” I say to him slightly out of breath with a small smile. I take a look at his face and see that he looks kind of…angry.

“Kate-ah.” He simply states with a slight forceful tone that takes me by surprise.

“N-ne?”

“Why did you stay here last night to practice more when you were clearly in no condition to do more?” Jonghyun asks once again with a forceful tone.

“Oh don’t worry! I was feeling better to make up for the practice I missed…thanks to my personal nurse!” I say trying to get him into a light-hearted mood. It clearly doesn’t work because he’s still frowning down at me.

“You shouldn’t have pushed yourself.”

I now frown along with him and look down at the floor saying quietly, “Mianhaeyo.” After I apologize, Jonghyun walks past me without saying another word. I turn around and see him walk down the hall not looking back once. ‘I’m getting everyone mad at me…well, I don’t know if Minho is, but I wouldn’t blame him if he is mad.’ I sigh and then turn around to head to the dance studio.

I’ve now practiced for about an hour and the instructor lets me take a break. I decide to go back to the lounge and take my break there. As I head to the lounge, I feel nervous about running into Minho. I’ve been thinking about what to do about him and still nothing had come to mind. ‘I wonder if he told Krystal about it…oh gosh.’ We must have a psychic connection because when I enter the lounge, there I see Taemin taking his break I assume. I’m about to turn back and head to another lounge, but it’s a good time to tell him what exactly is going on and say sorry. ‘Minho did say that Taemin doesn’t stay mad. Maybe he’s over it by now.’ I slowly walk in and up to Taemin who is looking out the window. He finally turns around and notices that I walked in. I stop walking and we just look at each other. He has a straight face on and it doesn’t change.

“Taemin-ah…I…” I pause and look down at the floor.

Before I can continue, he stands up and starts heading for the door, “I don’t want to hear what you have to say, Noona.”

“Wait! Taemin-ah!” I take hold of his arm while he walks by me. Taemin turns and I see his face clearly frustrated and not over what happened yesterday. He gets his arm free from my grasp and starts walking towards the door again.

Right when he reaches for the handle to the door, I shut my eyes and shout, “I kissed Minho-oppa!” I see him stop suddenly and then I continue this time quietly, “That’s why I stayed here last night. I didn’t want to face him.”

Taemin now turns around looking at me with shock and slight confusion, “Then why did you tell me that you were staying to practice?”

I look down at the floor once again and sigh sitting down, “I didn’t want you to see me as THAT type of girl. The one that intrudes on a person’s relationship with someone. I didn’t…want you to look down on me and be disappointed in me.” I hear his footsteps walking towards me. He takes a seat next to me and I turn to see what his expression is. It went from, anger, to shock and confusion, to now concern.

He lays his hand on my knee and then says, “Noona, I would never think of you like that and would never judge you.”

“I know. I was a pabo thinking that you would see me like that. I wasn’t thinking clearly yesterday…mianhaeyo Taemin-ah.” I give him a hug around his neck trying to not tear up, but slightly failing.

I feel his arms wrap around me returning the hug, “Gwenchana, Kate-ah.” We stay in the hug for a few more seconds and then I hear Taemin speak again, “Hajiman…”

I pull away from the hug and look at him in question, “Mwoaeyo?”

He looks hesitant with what he wants to say, “Why did you kiss Minho-hyung?”

I look forward and think back to the kiss, “I…don’t really know. After our first fight yesterday, I went back to the dorm and then I spot a basketball so I go to the park to shoot some hoops. Minho-oppa then joins me since it was his basketball and was looking for it. We play a game and then we sit and talk afterwards. He was being really nice to me and I was feeling better, but then Krystal-unnie called wanting to eat with him later. He was getting up to leave and I felt hurt again not wanting him to go. So I kind of panicked and well…kissed him. I pulled away quickly when I realized what I did and well…ran away from him.” I put my face in my hands feeling ashamed by my action, “I didn’t mean to kiss him…I just did it. What do I do, Taemin-ah?”

I look over at Taemin to see him thinking, “…Molla. Hajiman…we never did discuss about Hyung and Noona.”

“Oh yea, you’re right.”

“How are you doing with them together?” He asks me.

“Well, as you can see from what happened yesterday…not too well. Actually Taemin-ah…I knew before the article came out.”

“Mwoaeyo!? Eoteokke!?” His face is clearly filled with surprise.

“On Valentine’s Day, remember how I said Jonghyun-oppa saw me upset and cheered me up then kissed me? Well, I said to you that it was because I lost Minho-oppa’s chocolates. That is kind of true, but actually…I went to go see Minho-oppa at the SM Building to confess to him that day and when I got there, I dropped his chocolates from shock of seeing Minho-oppa and Krystal-unnie kissing each other.” I explain it to him fast hoping he wouldn’t get mad that I didn’t tell him this information until now.

“Chincha!?” I respond to him with a nod. He then says, “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“When I saw that you and the other guys didn’t know about it, I knew that their relationship is a secret, so I didn’t want to reveal their secret until they did.” I explain to him.

I see the wheels turning in his head as he thinks what I just said through and then says, “True. If I was in your shoes, I would do the same thing.”

“So you’re not mad I didn’t tell you.”

“Anio.” He says with a smile, but then quickly turns serious continuing, “Noona, you should go talk to Hyung.”

“I know…but what do I say!?” I say frustrated ready to pull my hair out from all the thinking.

“I guess…just tell him the truth. If you don’t talk to him soon, he’ll just figure it out on his own.” I put my face back into my hands and groan with what Taemin just said.

A thought then occurred to me instantly making me sit back up again facing him, “Taemin-ah! How did Minho-oppa act last night?”

Taemin takes a minute to think before answering, “Well, he seemed to act the same, but the only difference was he seemed to be lost in thought a few times where we needed to snap him out of it. I can’t really say since I only saw him a few hours before his date. By the time he came back I was already sleeping.”

I sigh from the information I just heard, “Do you think he was lost in thought because of me?”

“Most likely.” Taemin looks over at the time and jolts up from the couch, “Yah! My break was over five minutes ago I need to head back now!”  He then looks around, “Where did my phone go!?”

I laugh as he franticly looks for his phone and I help him, “Taemin-ah you’re always losing your things haha!” Then I remember that my break has been over for ten minutes now, “Aigo! I’m late too!” We both look around the lounge looking for Taemin’s phone quickly. Finally we find it which was in between the couch cushions and make our good-byes running in opposite directions to our rooms.

Another hour passes and it’s time for me to head to the sound room to record more for my songs. When I came back late, my instructor scolded me and made me do twenty push-ups. Anyway, I now enter the room to Seunghye and ‘Minho!?’ which makes me stop right at the door looking wide-eyed at both of them.

Seunghye turns to me after finishing talking to Minho and says, “Annyeonghasaeyo Kate-ah.”

I reply saying, “Annyeonghasaeyo.” I know Minho is looking at me and I don’t dare make eye contact with him.

“Minho-ah will be doing the raps in part of your songs since you’re not able to.”

“I-I see.” ‘Now I wish I could rap.’

“First let’s finish the last part of the song you’re working on,” Seunghye then turns to Minho, “then Minho-ah can do his parts.”

“A-arasseo.”

I walk towards the sound booth and don’t look at Minho at all while passing by him. After a half hour, I was done with my recording. It’s now Minho’s turn to be in the sound booth and I swiftly pass him again not evening glancing his way, but I still feel extremely nervous. Instead of watching him while it’s his turn, I browse the internet with my phone. While listening to him rap, I can’t help but get chills with a blush creeping on my face and I haven’t even looked up to see him rap. Minho is adorable, kind of quiet and outgoing at the same time with a sweet charm usually, but when he raps, Minho is so manly, aggressive, and…hot. It’s like he’s two different people, but I like that about him. Another half hour passes and all of a sudden Seunghye’s phone rings. She answers the call and once she’s done, gestures Minho to stop in the middle of the rap and he steps out of the booth.

She says something to the producer and then directs her attention to us, “I have to go somewhere quickly with the producer, so you may take your break now. It won’t take long, about fifteen minutes.” After she says that, the producer and her exit the studio leaving Minho and I alone. I immediately decide to head to the lounge instead of staying alone with Minho. I grab my phone and quickly make my way to the door.

“Kate-ah, can we talk?” I stop right when I reach for the doorknob hearing Minho speak. It stays quiet in the room for a few minutes. Instead of replying, I grab the doorknob and open the door slightly until I hear him speak again, “We need to talk about it at some point, so why not now?”

I take a deep breath closing the door and turn around saying really quiet looking down, “A-arasseo.” I can hear him walking towards me slowly and then stopping just a few feet away.

There’s an awkward silence between us, but then Minho finally speaks up to break it, “Kate-ah, I thought that you were with-”

“Mianhaeyo!” I shout cutting him off. I finally glance up at him and see his attention all on me waiting for me to continue. “I-it was an accident. You see I…” all of a sudden I knew what to say, “I grabbed your arm because I saw that your hair was all messed up and I wanted to fix it for you since you shouldn’t look messy in front of Krystal-unnie. I was leaning in so I can reach up to fix it but, I accidently stumbled and well…kissed you. I was just too embarrassed so I ran and I’m still embarrassed about it…mianhaeyo Minho-oppa.”

I now finally look up to see Minho. All I see is him staring at me with a blank expression. ‘Ugh! Seriously!? Usually you can see how he feels just by his expression, but the one time I really need it, I can’t read it!’ My nerves build up waiting for what he’ll say.

“Oh, I see…arasseo. Gwenchana.” He says with an unchanging expression. ‘That’s it!?’

“N-ne, it’s all a misunderstanding. So let’s put this behind us and pretend like it never happened.” I give him a small smile and he nods in agreement returning a smile.

“I’m going to walk over and see how the other guys are doing. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” Minho says while walking past me and to the door.

I turn to face him at the door, “Arasseo.” He gives me another smile and then walks out the door closing it behind him. I now let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. I’m slightly stunned that my excuses worked. I plop back on the couch and look up at the ceiling. ‘I…can’t believe it actually worked! Well, it seems like he believes me, but I seriously couldn’t read his expression at all. At least things can go back to normal.’ With that thought I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, ‘…normal. He can go back to dating Krystal without any complications and I…I don’t know about me right now. I guess…Minho can never know how I feel about him…’ I sigh and turn on my side deciding to take a quick nap before the break is over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learn Some Korean~!

Gaja - Let's go!

Eoteokke - How?