It was that feeling again, mixed with the warm atmosphere inside Classroom 4-B; that feeling of being stared at, which never fails to make Lu Han feel uneasy. The discomfort that he felt back in the auditorium, just before his piano performance in the Mugunghwa Soiree, is incomparable with this apprehensiveness. He must have sense the question just lingering and hanging from everyone’s tongue. What would a blind student do in this class?

The awkward silence was broken like ice as the professor’s, Lee Sunghwan’s, voice echoed and bounced against the mirrored walls of the dance practice room.

“Lu Han! I know you wouldn’t neglect my offer!” he said, walking towards the blind student and hugging him. Lu Han can hear minimal conversations from his “new” classmates, some bewildered and some doubtful. He understands them, for he is also bewildered with the entire situation and also doubting of his capabilities in this field.

Baekhyun whispered to Lu Han, as they both took their places on the wooden and polished floor, “I told you, it’s a once in a blue moon opportunity to be offered a special slot.”

Lu Han groaned, still keeping his voice at a minimum, “I don’t know if I should be thankful for this!”

Baekhyun just laughed and the ballet dance class officially started. Reluctant to what he’s actually doing in this hades, being surrounded by mainly dancers, Lu Han felt like a kitten in a pride of lions. He realized that he doesn’t need to take note of everything, not that he’s not willing to pass this class. Just like what Baekhyun had said, this opportunity knocks only once in the entire journey of a student of Chunnyeon Arts Academy. Still, he feels really unsure of all the terms like arabesque, brisé, échappé, and other ballet terms which all sound foreign to Lu Han’s ears.

Without noticing it, Lu Han found the words and terminologies somehow enchanting, just like how he’s amazed with the allegros and adagios of the piano symphonies that he plays. And Lee seonsaengnim is also a great instructor, he’s overflowing with knowledge about ballet yet he can still manage to make it enjoyable with all of his funny jokes.  I think I can learn how to love this…

At that same moment, Lu Han felt that feeling once again. And by now, he learned that only one person can give him that distinct sentiment. Kai is here…

He managed to check the other classmates sitting just behind him. Even though he really can’t see, his instincts tell him that Kai is really in the same class, probably listening…or probably staring back. Lu Han can never know.

Lee Sunghwan announced for a short break. Many of the students went out of the practice room to refresh themselves. Some stayed inside the classroom to do some warm-ups.

Baekhyun asked his friend, “How’s your first ballet orientation, Lu Han?”

“Lee seonsaengnim is a great teacher! But I can’t understand half of what he’s discussing. It’s my first time to hear those words. Are those Italian or something?” an oblivious Lu Han asked.

“It’s French.”

Both Baekhyun and Lu Han stopped their small talk to look at the direction of the speaker. As for Lu Han’s ears, this voice sounds deep and raspy at the same time. A noticeable lisp can be heard from the way the speaker talks and Lu Han found it somehow familiar, though he can’t remember where he had heard that kind of lisp before.

“We’re not talking to you, Oh Sehun.” Baekhyun said flatly, sounding annoyed.

This student named Oh Sehun, which rang a tiny bell at the back of Lu Han’s mind, clicked his tongue for a few times before saying, “I’m not, either. I’m juts correcting blind-ie here.”

“Stop calling him names. Golly, you’re so annoying as ever! Say sorry.” Baekhyun commanded the student with the lisp.

“And why would I say sorry?” Sehun retorted sarcastically.

Baekhyun reasoned, “Because you offended my friend. No one calls him blind-ie here. And for your information, he’s Chunnyeon’s blind prodigy, so don’t belittle him.”

“No! It’s okay. You don’t have to say sorry…” Lu Han said.

Again, Sehun clicked his tongue and said, “As if I’m going to apologize. Nice to meet you, blind-ie.”

With that, Sehun left the two and went out of the classroom, patting Lu Han’s head before leaving.

Baekhyun groaned, “That brat Sehun always get in my nerves! I need to tell Kyungsoo about this immediately. Wait for a sec.”

Before Lu Han can even stop Baekhyun from storming out of the classroom, his friend reached the door and sprinted to Kyungsoo’s class, leaving Lu Han alone again.

Feeling the awkwardness in the room wrap him up again, Lu Han decided to walk towards one of the mirrored walls. He took a seat on the floor, facing the mirror. He knows for sure that the room is surrounded by mirrors; this is a dance practice room after all. His blind eyes can’t see anything, but he can hear his classmates work and tense their muscles up, maybe doing some stretching exercises all over the practice room. Without his subconscious, he reached for the mirror, his index and middle finger slightly touching the cold and smooth glass. He let the distantness of the mirror course through his body, from his fingers to the tips of his hair. The mirror feels physical, but Lu Han feels nothing, for he cannot see anything but remoteness as he stares longingly at the mirror, reflecting his blank eyes which portray nostalgia for not foreseeing the marvels etched in everything.

“Don’t feel anxious. It’s all natural for a first timer.” An all too familiar voice advised.

 Without even noticing it, Lu Han sensed that Kai is now seating beside him, leaning his back against the mirrored wall, just a few meters away from him.

Lu Han’s fingers left the mirror and he muttered a “Thanks” to Chunnyeon’s living dance machine.

“For what?” Kai asked, his voice still remaining deep and mellow at the same time, just like how Lu Han had first heard it.

Lu Han looked his way and answered, “For constantly reminding me not to feel anxious. I never got the chance to thank you for saving me from embarrassment back in the Mugunghwa Soiree.”

Kai smiled at this, “You’re welcome.”

Silence. Just their reflections on the mirrored walls moving…

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but if I may ask. Why did you do that?” Lu Han regretted as the question unstoppably came out of his mouth.

Kai stayed silent, his head now directed to the blind student, taking in his features. Lu Han, on the other hand, bowed his head, wishing that he never asked that stupid question. I should just be thankful. There’s no point in asking why…

Lu Han thought that Kai stood up and left him in front of the mirrored wall. But he was wrong, for he can still hear his breathing, and this told him that he’s deep in his thoughts.

The silence between them seems to be deafening, but it also soothes Lu Han. Even if the question was left hanging, he was satisfied now that he finally got the chance to thank Kai. He somehow found the courage to express his gratitude.

That same courage that Lu Han just mustered is what Kai cannot have now. He ought to tell Lu Han the reason why, but he can’t seem to find the right words. He noticed that Lu Han felt silent as well, and thought that he might be waiting for his response. But Kai never got the chance to answer for Lee Sunghwan and the other students are back inside, ready for the class to continue.

“By the end of this school year’s first quarter, we will have a ballet presentation as to continue the yearly tradition. Together with the other classes: dance, vocals, and instruments, your class will be preparing for the first showcase. This will serve as a part of your practical exam for this course.”

Lu Han expected, like in any other high school in South Korea, that the students will be disappointed for having a large school activity for it will take most of their time. But to his surprise, he never heard any complaints from his classmates after Lee seonsaengnim announced it all. Chunnyeon Arts Academy and its students are really one of a kind.

“By next month, you will perform in groups of three. It’s a preliminary for me to know who will make it to the first showcase. As for professionalism that this whole school is envisioned, I already prepared and assigned your group mates according to your dancing skills and knowledge in ballet techniques.”

Lee Sunghwan started calling name after name, as the whole class is divided into groups of three. Baekhyun hoped and crossed his fingers that he’ll end up with the same group as Lu Han, but the odds are not in his favour this time. He was teamed up with two ladies, whom he is very comfortable with since they have been classmates in almost every class that they have.

The last group was announced by the instructor, a very odd combination which added to the confusion of the other groups.

“Kim Jongin, Oh Sehun, Lu Han.”

It was strange. Lu Han was the only underdog in this ballet class, but what set their group on top was the two best dancers, Kai and Sehun, who have been eager competitors of one another. No one can ever expect whatever’s running inside Lee Sunghwan’s mind. No one can even understand why he made such a group.

“This is not a competition, just a test of your knowledge on ballet. Your performances will tell me if you’re going to pass this dance class. At this early stage, I know that most of you have known ballet like the back of your hands…”

Lee Sunghwan continued talking about all of the mechanics of the test, stating that the class hour will be divided into two sessions: the first one being the class itself where he’ll teach them ballet, and the other one allotted for the groups’ meeting and practice. He ordered everyone to plan as early as now as to what kind of music and concept will they be using on their performance.

Sitting on the floor in between Kai and Sehun, Lu Han can metaphorically feel the tension between the great dancers. It’s as if something electric and magnetic is running in between them, the competitiveness roaring as their bloods are gushing through their veins.

For almost three minutes, they have been silent, just staring at one another.

Sehun finally spoke, “I can’t play Sunghwan’s games. I can’t be in this team.”

The other two remained silent, until Kai finally spoke.

“Can’t you see Sunghwan’s plans? He paired us with Lu Han for him to learn how to dance. Simple as that.”

Upon hearing Kai’s logical explanation, Sehun made a small nod.

A still dumbfounded Lu Han asked, “Wait. I can’t fully understand the mechanics.”

Sehun chuckled, “I thought you’re the blind prodigy with the best ears in this year’s piano class? Didn’t you hear Lee seonsaengnim?”

Lu Han reddened at the sudden slur. He never expected that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were right about this Oh Sehun being a brat.

After heaving a long sigh, Sehun explained, “All of what he said is just an illusion. By next month, after the preliminaries where all of the groups will perform in the auditorium in front of Lee seonsangnim, our class will diminish in number.”

Lu Han asked why, cold sweat trailing down his forehead.

“This class is a hell in disguise for Chunnyeon students, dancers and non-dancers alike. Lee Sunghwan is known to be jolly during class, but he’s a real evil when it comes to performance. The preliminary performance is just a black propaganda, a big chance for him to select the best dancers of his class.” Sehun continued.

“What happens to the other students who will not be selected for the first showcase?” Lu Han asked.

Sehun tittered once again, “Nothing serious. They’ll just fail this dance class, and there will be a permanent record under their name. Thus, graduating from Chunnyeon will be a big challenge.”

Upon hearing Sehun’s long explanation, Lu Han’s hands found his forehead, covering half of his face. He whispered, “I should’ve never entered this class and accepted his offer…”

“That’s your fault. Now face the consequence, blind-ie.” Sehun cackled before leaving the two alone and went out of the practice room.

Lu Han felt Kai hold the hands covering his face, putting them down. “Don’t listen to him. He’s always like that.”

Lu Han asked the question that’s been bothering him since he was teamed up with Sehun and Kai. “Will we be graded as a team or individually?”

Kai responded, “We will be graded either ways.”

“But will our individual grades affect our score as a group?” Lu Han asked, trying hard to not make his voice shake.

“Yes.” Kai replied shortly.

Lu Han fell silent, a burdening feeling boiling now in his chest. Kai noticed the blind student and his stillness, quite knowing what Lu Han is worried about.

“Don’t worry. We’ll pass the preliminaries.” Kai reassured.

Lu Han shook his head vigorously, “No. I will fail you. I don’t know how to dance. You and Sehun may get high individual grades, but mine will pull you down!”

Kai held one of Lu Han’s hands, trying to calm the blind student. “Don’t say that. This world is a big stage, and we are all dancers. We’re just dancing our lives in accordance to different music.”

Lu Han was still worried and looked at the direction of Kai’s voice, hoping that his unmitigated eyes are staring right into those dark brown orbs. “It’s impossible for a blind person like me to dance…”

Kai hushed Lu Han and retorted, “No. I’ll make you dance.”

Lu Han can’t hide his surprise upon hearing Kai’s words. Similarly, Kai himself was astonished about what he said.

Feeling awkward for the first time in front of Lu Han, Kai stuttered, “No…What I mean is….Sehun and I….will help you learn…how to…dance…”

Lu Han heard the shyness behind Kai’s voice, and for a short moment, this sudden change of atmosphere made him smile.

The ballet dance class of Lee Sunghwan officially ended as the school bell rang. All of the class’ groups are finished in making up and deciding their own concepts and theme for the preliminaries. As for Lu Han’s group, they were not still decided as to what concrete concept and music they will be using, but the three of them somehow came to an agreement that Sehun will be the one in charge of the whole theme for he is a natural choreographer, Lu Han will be the one responsible for the music to be used, and Kai will be liable for the dance steps itself and teaching the blind student. They also agreed upon a single schedule for their practice in the Chunnyeon auditorium, which surprised Lu Han for the usual opponents agreed easily about the details. After the class, Baekhyun assisted Lu Han to his next class and continue their usual routine.

At the end of the day, Lu Han was still stupefied with the peculiarity of how his day ran: Baekhyun and Lee seonsaengnim made him attend a ballet dance class, Oh Sehun’s snickering and voice, and of course Kai’s small pieces of advice.

Throughout the day, from his daily classes up to the time that he’s lying in his bed with Baekhyun slightly making weird sleeping sounds on his own one, Kai’s words are still lingering inside his mind.

“…This world is a big stage, and we are all dancers. We’re just dancing our lives in accordance to different music.”

If ever that’s the secret mantra that Kai lives up to whenever he’s performing on stage, Lu Han was thankful that he shared it to a non-dancer like him.

Brooding with the words which seem to lull him to sleep, Lu Han realized that somehow, Kai is right. He is a dancer, they all are. It’s just a matter of finding the right music to dance to.

Before, Lu Han was really unsure of making his body move, aside from just his fingers pressing the light and heavy piano keys.

Now, Lu Han is alacritous to dance, for he knows that he just found his music, even without the piano that he loves, to dance with.