The mood of the event – and the bad news of Shin Yoonjo’s death – keeps hanging on to Lu Han’s dreamscape. According to many psychologists all over the world, blind people tend to have more vivid and close-to-reality dreams, for their brains make up the kind of loss that the disability has been causing to the blind persons’ lives. Lu Han is no special to this phenomenon.

It was the same dream that he always had ever since he was just a child. By now, even without seeing and knowing what they really are, he knows exactly what can be found in his dream; in every detail and in every colour, as his young self always asked Ms. Park who was obliged to answer every question that the blind kid would inquire.

Lu Han’s dream started as he’s wandering in an unfamiliar forest. As opposed to the warmness of South Korean spring, the forest was covered in thick layers of snow, the tiny particles slowly falling down the sky. Lu Han can’t see himself; he’s just meandering with his point of view in dreamland. He looked down, and noticed that his winter boots are all wet, as he found it hard to make a step through the dense snow piled on the ground. Whenever he looks up, he can see the icy particles cover up the leaves of the trees, and upon seconds…minutes…the whole bushy tree’s now covered in white. Lu Han loves this kind of scene, and wishes that in reality, he can see what wonder the winter can create.

Lu Han kept on walking, taking in the paradise bit by bit. He thought of birds and squirrels, thinking how they hibernate in this kind of climate, giggling at the idea of him surrounded by the fur and feathers of the tamed animals, keeping him warm. If only Lu Han can live in this forever…

Then, with his highly sensitive ears, Lu Han heard something rustle behind the bushes. As he sensed that something was moving behind the shrubberies, his curiosity filling him up, he slowly walked towards it and checked the undergrowth.

He was surprised to see a deer, which also looked baffled as he is. His seeing eyes found amazement as he took up the extraordinaire persona of the innocent and gentle animal. Lu Han had never seen antlers which seem to be sculpted perfectly like the branching stems of an old oak tree, magically carved by the nymphs of the woods. He was tempted to touch the grown horns, but was afraid that he will scare the meek creature. At that moment, he was content with just staring at the deer, which stares at him back and seems to see a human for the first time, analysing Lu Han. They have been at that same instant for what seems like eternity, an unknown connection running between them.

Lu Han was trying not to move. The deer as well seems to be glued on the snow. The infinite possibilities of mysterious links between the two diverse creatures were brought to a halt as the once calm winter wind became a strong and deathly breeze. Both Lu Han and the deer broke from the trance, checking their surroundings. They both know that the snow will be eating them up, but neither one of them decided to take a step. It was not until an ear-piercing howl hollering through the blinding gusts of snowy storm reached their ears. Like a horrified prey, the deer pranced gracefully yet agitatedly away from the place, away from Lu Han, for its dear life.

Lu Han had heard the howl again, scanning the place and identifying where it came from. He turned around, and his mouth literally gaped open in shock as he saw a wolf just a few meters away from where he’s standing. The beast had this deathly sensation with its monstrous appearance: its yellow eyes glowing like two headlights from a truck driving in the night, its sharp teeth showing and ready to bite, its claws equipped to pounce on its poor victim. This monster in front of him is far from the creature that he was staring at a few moments ago. The fascination brought about by the delightful deer was now replaced by the terror brought upon by the hungry wolf. Lu Han regained his senses as he decided to run for his dear life, just like what the deer had done. He had never thought that this will how his life would end; him being a prey chased and devoured by his predator.

The thickening snow piling on the ground, which is now covering up his whole feet, and the blurring vision caused by the squalling snowstorm, makes it hard for Lu Han to run. He knows that he can’t afford to look back and see if the predator is still chasing him, but he still does. The wolf is still there, running after him, and with its paws suitably made for running in this environment, in no time Lu Han will be dead.

Lu Han ran for a good twenty minutes through the unknown forest until he saw the deer with the wonderful antlers. He decided to follow its paths, hoping that the wolf behind him will lose track of him. This time he knows that he needs not to look back and check the wolf, for he can clearly hear its loud howls and scowls, as if telling him that there’s no point in running.

With the deer ahead of him and the wolf chasing him, Lu Han realized that he was in a hopeless situation. At some point, he had thought of just stopping and offering himself willingly to the famished wolf. But he thought twice, thinking that if the deer can run, he will also run. If the deer is willing to live, he will also live.

Lu Han’s thoughts made him lose track of the deer, but he never stopped running. It was not until that without noticing, he reached a cliff overlooking the wide roaring sea. He knows now that this is where he’ll spend his last breath, where he’ll see the extensive blue skies, where his dying cold corpse will be as cold as the winter snow. In this cliff, the vicious wolf will eat his heart, will consume his meat, as well as kill his soul. This is the end.

The wolf reached the same cliff where Lu Han was standing. Instead of pouncing immediately over his prey, it walked towards the poor man in a slow manner; its sluggish steps telling Lu Han that he will plague his entirety not in a starved fast manner, but rather in a measured torturous routine.

But as the predator took its final marching steps, his prey did an unexpected feat. Lu Han, with his eyes closed, jumped off the cliff…

The dream turned into nightmare made Lu Han heave with sweat as he awakens up in the middle of the flouting dawn. He literally gasps for air, and felt for his soft bed, relieved that it was nothing but a horrible sighting in his sleep. He was calmed as he lay on his bed again, not on the rocky seashore where he just jumped off the cliff in his dream.

As Lu Han dozed off, he had heard very light footsteps and a slightly ragged set of breathing entering his room. That someone hummed some notes from a lullaby, and from his voice, Lu Han knows that it was his roommate, Baekhyun.

Puzzled, Lu Han thought, What took Baekhyun, and EXO as well, too long?

With that thought lingering in his mind, Lu Han fell asleep, comforted that his dreams are not that of the icy forest with the antlers of the deer and the savage wolf.

The brightness of the sunlight passing through the dorm room windows made the eyelids of the sleeping Lu Han and Baekhyun explode with a galaxy of stars.

“I bet you have dark circles under your eyes. You barely slept, I know. I heard you walk in a while ago.” Lu Han teased his roommate.

Baekhyun decided to fake a yawn in order to not make Lu Han suspicious of their late night agenda back in the abandoned museum, but it turned out to be a real yawn of exhaustion and drowsiness.

“Yeah right. I’ll just cover it with something. Thick eyeliners, maybe?” Baekhyun joked.

With this, their day started as they ate breakfast together, filled with laughter and jokes in between scoops of yogurt and bites of ham sandwiches. Lu Han never had any idea as to what his roommate is up to, as to what EXO is up to during the late wee hours of the night.

As they finished their breakfast in the large cafeteria of Chunnyeon Arts Academy, Baekhyun informed Lu Han that he needs to go to the comfort room and reassured him that he’ll be back in a few minutes. With this, Lu Han was left alone in the circular table that he shares with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo every time their having a break in this cafeteria. It was really not a problem for Lu Han to be left alone, but since he grew closer to Baek and Kyungsoo, he now misses their company. Lu Han wished for Baekhyun to come back again, or for Kyungsoo to drop by their usual hangout place, so that he’ll have someone to talk to.

Growing back in the orphanage, Lu Han knew that it was better to be alone. Of course with the assistance of Ms. Park and the volunteers, he learned how to take care of himself at a very young age, for Lu Han knows that everywhere he went, there are a lot of people who tend to pity him for his disability. At some point, he also pities himself, asking God as to why he was born blind. He wished for so many times that he live a normal life, just like the other kids in the orphanage, so that their common denominator will just be the absence of their respective parents.

Even though Lu Han wouldn’t admit it if asked, growing up was really hard. In his case, there will be no parents willing to adopt a blind child like him, which just added to Lu Han’s frustrations as a child. He sometimes feels hopeless that he’ll never have a family besides the persons in the orphanage. As a child, Lu Han wants to have parents who will take care of him and accept him for who he is, not just someone who pities him for his misfortunate condition.

Lu Han grew up aloof with the company of the other kids in the orphanage. He never plays with them, for he will just be someone who will stumble on the ground as they always play actively. He just stays inside his bedroom all day, listening to the laughter of his fellow orphans playing outside, just by his room’s windows. He was never bullied by the other children, Ms. Park won’t allow it. But during activities, he will always hear the other kids whisper, “He’s blind. He can’t do anything.” This made Lu Han’s young heart crumple with raging sadness and made his remaining faith slide down the slope of nothingness.

It was not until there was a new orphan in the institution that Lu Han’s childhood made a turning change. Just like him, this new kid doesn’t want to join the other kids always playing outside. He’s not blind like Lu Han, and he even refused when Ms. Park invited him to be introduced to the other kids. This made Lu Han curious about the new kid. As he opened the doors of Ms. Park’s office, which was his sanctuary besides his bedroom, he accidently heard Ms. Park talking to the volunteers about this new kid. With his unintentional eavesdropping, he discovered that the new kid’s parents were murdered right in front of his own eyes, which resulted to his trauma and depression. That’s why he never joins the other kids…

That same day, Lu Han’s bedroom was renovated by Ms. Park and the volunteers, putting up another bed. When Lu Han asked why they made a sudden change in his bedroom, Ms. Park told him that he’ll be sharing his room to the new kid. This made Lu Han very nervous and excited at the same time.

Lu Han never found any problems in sharing his room with the new kid, for they don’t speak to one another during the first three days of his stay. It was not until the third night that Lu Han woke up hearing muffled sobs coming from the other bed, and sensed that it was the new kid crying.

Lu Han hesitated at first, but decided that he reach the shoulders of the new kid, patting him slightly.

“Why are you crying?” Lu Han hesitantly asked, his blank eyes staring at the direction of his roommate.

Between sobs, the new kid finally answered, “I miss my parents.”

Lu Han knew what happened to his parents, and didn’t pester asking him about the details of their death. At that moment, Lu Han thought that he was obliged to make this new kid feel better, protect him even if he can’t protect himself. Both of them felt asleep soundly with Lu Han’s arms wrapped around the new kid.

That night marked the beginning of new friendship, something that Lu Han had been deprived of even from the start. This new friend of his joins him in everything that he decides to do. He joined Lu Han in everything that he does. When Lu Han learned how to read Braille, how to make paper origami, and other things that Lu Han once thought he can never do, his one friend was always there. He also offered Lu Han the playtime that the blind child just listens to outside his window before. He also helped Lu Han whenever he cannot do something due to his disability, just like what a caring brother would do. What Lu Han can’t certainly forget was the time that he was called by Ms. Park in her office and asked her to learn how to play the piano. He was there, telling Lu Han that he can do it, that he can press the right keys and produce the right notes. Without his friend, he can never master playing the piano just by himself. He served as Lu Han’s companion and supporting shoulder, telling him that he can be the best if he’ll try hard enough. Lu Han had learned a lot from his friend, and wonders where he is now.

All of this perfect life by the side of his friend ended when that auspicious moment came: the day when his friend’s new parents came to finally adopt him. Lu Han cried so much that day. He’ll be alone again, and life without him will never be the same.

Patting him in his head like what he always does, his friend told him, “You know I don’t like it when you’re crying. You look ugly.”

Lu Han brightened up a little bit upon hearing his friend’s voice.

“Promise me you won’t cry again. And reach your dreams. Be the best pianist this world has known. Okay, Lulu?” he said as he wiped Lu Han’s tears staining his face.

“I promise.” Lu Han said as he hugged his friend for the last time, the tightest one that he can ever give.

Before parting their ways, his friend reached something in his pocket – a necklace. He put it over Lu Han’s head and let it hang by his neck. Lu Han reached for its bead, and felt something small and hard and cold in his fingers.

“What’s this?” a still crying Lu Han asked.

“That’s a necklace my parents gave me when I was still a baby. I want you to have it, it will protect you.”

Lu Han said his thanks and farewell to his new friend.

With a “We’ll meet again, Lulu”, his friend departed and that was the last time that Lu Han had heard his voice.

Lu Han smiled as he reminisced that the new kid always calls him many pet names, but “Lulu” is what he likes and misses the most. But as much as Lu Han tries so hard in remembering his old friend’s  real name and voice and the way he speaks, it seems like all those years of being away and being preoccupied with his Chunnyeon dream had washed away fragments of his memories about his childhood friend, Hunnie.

Sipping his hot chocolate, still waiting for Baekhyun, Lu Han heard someone pull a chair and drag it towards their table. His instincts told him that it was not Kyungsoo, for he knows that someone prim and proper like him would never drag a seat to a table.

“Lu Han, right?” this someone asked, his voice sounding like a mix of awe and egotism. It was Lu Han’s first time to hear this voice.

He nodded by the way.

“It was such an honour to have a conversation with Chunnyeon’s blind prodigy. I’m Lee Sunghwan, and I teach classical ballet here. You did well in the Mugunghwa Soiree.”

Lu Han smiled and thanked the kind professor.

“Lee soensaengnim!” Baekhyun called, his voice heard all over the cafeteria. Both Lu Han and Lee Sunghwan turned to his direction.

“Mr. Byun! Are you friends with Lu Han?” the professor asked in bewilderment.

Baekhyun nodded his head eagerly.

“That’s great! I’m willing to offer him a special slot in our ballet class. What do you think?” Lee Sunghwan informed the two, which earned a “What?!” from the both of them.

Lu Han shook his head, and stammered, “But…I…. I can’t…I can’t dance, seonsaengnim.”

“Yeah. He can’t. It’s impossible for him to dance.” Baekhyun backed up his friend.

“That’s exactly why I’m doing this. You know me as a teacher, Baekhyun. I like it when I’m challenged. I’ll make Lu Han dance, believe me.” And with that, the pesky dance instructor left the two astonished.

The bell rang, signalling the start of the performing arts classes. Baekhyun found Lu Han lying on his bed back in their dorm room.

“And what do you think you’re doing, Lu Han?” his motherly scolding was heard once again.

“Lying on my bed. I don’t have classes until two in the afternoon.” Lu Han said matter-of-factly.

Baekhyun approached him and pulled him up his bed, pushed him out the door and lead him to the fourth floor of the main school building, with Lu Han complaining about all of this weirdness.

“Where are we going?” Lu Han asked, not too loudly for he doesn’t want everyone to look at him.

Lu Han heard the mischievousness in his friend’s voice as Baekhyun answered, “Where else? Ballet class!”

“You know I can’t dance! This is nonsense!” Lu Han protested, but they were now standing in front of room 4-B.

Baekhyun turned the door knob, and everyone was surprised, in their thoughts asking, “What is the blind prodigy doing here? This is a ballet class!”