As EXO and Lu Han went out of the Chunnyeon auditorium and parted their ways, the blind student still feels bemused with all that happened inside: the superb atmosphere of the auditorium, his new acquaintances, shared stories, that odd sight when Kris shook his hand… and that student Kai.

How I wish I was not blind…

“Hey, Lu Han. Deep in thoughts?” Baekhyun asked as he abruptly looked back at Lu Han who was lost in his daze.

Lu Han shook his head.

Kyungsoo interrupted his thoughts, once again. “Have you heard of the Mugunghwa Soiree?”

Lu Han shook his head again, and Kyungsoo took it as a hint to explain. “Every year, spring time, Chunnyeon holds an opening ceremony for their one hundred new students. It’s an evening party, but no worries, since we will be there wearing our school uniforms.”

Baekhyun continued the lecture to the new student, “Yeah. Unlike the Golden Dragon Soiree, which is like the anniversary celebration of Chunnyeon and its glory, where we’re required to wear tuxedos and all of those formal wear! I really hate that event!”

Lu Han formed an oh in his mouth, asking “Is it just a party? I don’t like parties, just like Baekhyun. I’ve never been in one, actually.”

Kyungsoo laughed hard at this. “Baekhyun don’t hate parties, just the uncomfortable clothes. He’s a party popper actually, a resident of the clubs back in Incheon.”

“No, I’m not!” Baekhyun was defensive.

Kyungsoo ignored his best friend and continued explaining to Lu Han. “Yes, besides the boring speeches of the school and department heads, it’s a lot of fun. You’ll meet many friends there. But of course, since Chunnyeon is no ordinary, there’s a catch about the Mugunghwa Soiree.”

“What is that?” a curious Lu Han asked.

Baekhyun answered even before Kyungsoo got the chance. They really have that habit of taking turns in speaking, as Lu Han noticed for a while now. “Among the one hundred new students of Chunnyeon Arts Academy, there will be five lucky ones who will get the chance to perform in front of the whole school, whether it may be dancing or singing or playing an instrument, whatever craft is in their junk. Some students just perform what they did in the auditions. Some, the most competitive ones, even practiced their special number for the Mugunghwa Soiree even before landing here in Chunnyeon, anticipating that their names will be drawn from that golden bowl.”

Now it’s Kyungsoo’s turn, “Yes, I do remember that competitive student that you’ve been talking about. Oh Sehun, that brat. And in some rare cases, the really gifted ones just perform on the spot, just like Kim Jongin. That’s when he started earning the title of ‘the living dance machine’ among the students and the instructors alike. That’s why we’re so lucky to have him in EXO.”

Kyungsoo’s narrative stirred a lot of Lu Han’s course of thinking. One, that Oh Sehun that they just called a brat, which Lu Han found really inappropriate, sounded really familiar. Despite that, he really can’t remember where he had heard that name.

And of course, the now familiar name yet filled with mystery. Kim Jongin. Kai. That EXO member who had captivated Lu Han, without the blind student seeing how he popped and locked in that stage a while ago. Not with his appearance. Not with his dance steps. For Lu Han himself doesn’t know why he felt so dazzled by just his presence. Maybe it’s what he felt when he heard Kai’s footfalls danced and he imaged in his mind the passion that’s been building up inside his swaying soul. That somehow they shared that same intense passion for two different things, which may or may not exist without the other. Just maybe…

These thoughts did not leave Lu Han until Kyungsoo went to his own dorm room, while he and Baekhyun went inside theirs, ate their dinner, watched a movie; not until Lu Han lay on his bunk bed and dreamed of the Mugunghwa Soiree, confident that his name won’t be picked among the one hundred strips of paper in the seemingly depthless curvature of the golden fish bowl.

The next day, Lu Han attended both his academic and performing arts courses with the assistance of Baekhyun. He discovered that their class schedules are so matched together that whenever it’s Baekhyun’s classes, Lu Han will have a break, and vice versa. His academic classes in particular went easy, for Lu Han was assisted by Baekhyun and the lessons given to him were in Braille. He took a note in his mind to really thank Ms. Park for making his life easier here in Chunnyeon.

Hours passed and the great grandfather clock chimed all over the campus and its buildings, beckoning the start of the Mugunghwa Soiree. The Student Council assisted all of the students and led them to the big domes of the Chunnyeon auditorium where the opening ceremonies will be held.

Lu Han was of course, assisted by Baekhyun, and after a while Kyungsoo’s seated by them. After a few minutes of waiting, Lu Han was greeted one by one by the members of EXO, him recognizing everyone through their voices and simple gestures as they take their seats beside and behind Lu Han’s group. Tao’s adolescent voice, Lay’s raspy tone, Suho’s almost angelic one. Chanyeol and his deep voice followed, then Xiumin and Chen and the other members, including Kris with his cold stare and greeting, the sarcastic tone still lingering…and of course, that irresistible aura of Kai’s presence, which was weird, for Lu Han didn’t hear that deep shy voice of him. He just knows that Kai is there, maybe seated somewhere behind him. It’s as if those short moments at the auditorium yesterday had taught Lu Han to tell somehow. This type of instinct is different as to what he usually has, and it amazed Lu Han, even found it uncanny.

He can’t be wrong.

The abrupt moment brought by everyone surrounding Lu Han was interrupted when the principal of Chunnyeon started delivering his welcome remarks. Lu Han was taught by Ms. Park that whenever anyone is speaking, delivering a speech in particular, he should always pay attention. But then he found it hard as the principal went all boring, talking about the long history of Chunnyeon Arts Academy and its achievements, plus he was pestered by Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s unstoppable yammers. Yes, his unseeing eyes are directed at the school principal, but both of his ears are lent to his friends, the left one to Baekhyun and the other to Kyungsoo. Lu Han was not bothered at all, since he found their stories and chats amusing and funny.

A short break was announced, letting some of the students stand up from their seats, stretch their legs, and some visit the comfort rooms.

Baekhyun asked Lu Han, “Do you need to go to the comfort room?”

Lu Han shook his head and smiled at Baekhyun’s care.

“By the way, EXO will be performing a special number next. Are you gonna be alright here? We need to change to our costumes by this time.” Kyungsoo informed him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I won’t even notice if you’ll be gone.” Lu Han joked, and Kyungsoo smiled that gummy grin of his.

Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and the other EXO members got ready and prepared for their performance. Lu Han exclaimed a “Break a leg!” before they left him in his seat.

After a few minutes, Lu Han had heard that same song from yesterday in this same auditorium. EXO was practicing in this same auditorium yesterday, Lu Han realized. He found himself smiling as that spell-like intro to the music started, with the orchestra from the stereo speakers accompanying the dance beats. It’s as if yesterday here in the auditorium really stuck to Lu Han’s mind, the song really sounds familiar, like how Beethoven’s symphonies had attached themselves in his heart through all those years of unseen practice.

Even though he had watched…felt…EXO’s performance yesterday while they were practicing, Lu Han can’t still feel awed. He also discovered that Kyungsoo was not really kidding when he proclaimed that EXO is the best dance group of Chunnyeon Arts Academy, for everyone inside the auditorium, students and the faculty staff alike were all cheering like they are in some sort of a concert instead of a school performance. Amidst the screaming of obvious fan girls and the howls of the male students, Lu Han can still feel that same sensation. Yes, all of the dancers crumping now on stage really show off intense energy and livid dance skills, Lu Han was definite. They will not earn such title of being Chunnyeon’s best for something mediocre. But amongst that surging power of their performance, only one dynamism penetrates Lu Han deep in the soul. He can’t see and relinquish the performance with his impaired vision, that’s for sure, and it astounded Lu Han how he can recognize an inanimate abstract thing from someone whose light he can’t see can mingle within the deepest thoughts in his mind…or maybe within the earnest innocent sensations in his heart and soul.

The only dancer that captivated the blind student is none other than Kim Jongin.

After the speech and the presentation of the different teachers and instructors of the school, the most awaited moment of almost every student in Chunnyeon, old and new alike, took place – the initial recital of the Mugunghwa Soiree.

Lu Han felt giddy since he can literally feel the excitement condensing through the crowd. There’s this disturbing feeling tugging at his chest, making it hard to breathe. It’s a mixture of nervousness and jumpiness, which was not a good thing for a real Chunnyeon student, as Lu Han remembered one of his vocal instructors had said in class a while back.

Lu Han’s always-searching ears heard a series of small and subtle gasps among the students as the school principal reached for a strip of white paper from the golden fish bowl. A name was called, and Lu Han had heard it but didn’t pay much attention, thanking fate for his name was not called. Four more names to go…

The first student that was called just finished performing a ballet, finishing her dance with a perfect and graceful stance.

Another student was called, “Lee Song Hee.”

As the students applauded for this Lee Song Hee, Lu Han breathed a lament of relief. Three names…

Lee Song Hee sang a sad love song, and Lu Han even found himself clapping his hands together with the other students listening, as this girl belted her high notes by the end of the song. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are criticizing as if they’re some judge of a singing competition in a television program, and Lu Han somehow felt eased of his discomfort.

The school principal stood up from his podium and his hands dived down the sea of white strips, names of nervous and excited new students swimming in a constant pace. The name was drawn, and it was not Lu Han.

By this time, the selected student finished playing the infamous “River Flows in You” by bowing his exquisite violin, which earned an applause which lasted for almost a minute from the amused audience.

Once again, the school head reached for the last name to be reaped from the bowl. All students are really excited as to who will give the ending performance of the night, thus concluding this year’s Mugunghwa Soiree.

Everyone was anticipating who it will be, except for Lu Han. The burdening feeling in his chest bubbled up to its extent as he prayed and hoped that his name will not be selected. In a hundred, there is really a small probability for me to be called, right? This is a make-or-break thing that will foretell my chances to survive in this school. Am I ready? No, I’m not ready. I will not be called. I hope so…

The school head’s face seemed to brighten up as he read the name on the white strip of papyrus that he was holding.

“Chunnyeon’s first blind prodigy, Lu Han.”

As his name was called, Lu Han did not notice that he had left his mouth hanging open from too much shock. If not only for Baekhyun who nudged him by his elbow and Kyungsoo who shrieked with joy, he will never regain his consciousness. Unlike the other four selected performers from before, Lu Han was not met by the applause of the other students. Instead, the auditorium was filled with ear-piercing silence.

Lu Han was really not expecting to be met by the students’ claps, but it was his first time to really get rooted to his seat. He can’t stand up. He won’t stand up.

They were all waiting for the blind student to rise from his seat and walk towards the stage, all anticipating and wondering if another disabled student can prove that they really deserve a slot in this prestigious institution. Some are waiting with their doubtful stares, and some are looking forward for this new spectacle in the history of Chunnyeon. Mixed emotions and thoughts are heard by a tense Lu Han through distant and motley murmurs.

In the swarm of contrasting whispers and gazes, Lu Han felt someone grip him by the wrist and drawn him up from his seat. The tug was not gentle, but the force used was not intended to make any harm. These hands are not Baekhyun’s or Kyungsoo’s, for this is far from velvety soft with its callused palms which sent imagined vibrations through Lu Han’s arms, then to his entire body.

“Who is this?” the blind man asked, his eyebrows creasing due to curiosity.

Then Lu Han felt lips almost brush the silly curves of his earlobes, hot breath tingling and the scent almost minty. Among the horde of whispers, this one is the only voice that reached Lu Han like a star shooting from the sky.

“Just follow me.” It was Kai, as much to Lu Han’s surprise.

Kai assisted Lu Han towards the stage, even helped him up the steps. Kai can see that Lu Han was really nervous, with the sudden noticeable shudders of his shoulders, which Kai held to cover from the doubtful eyes of the crowd. Lu Han’s anxiousness seems to level down as Kai assisted him in front of the piano.

Lu Han was now in his comfort zone, but this is his first performance other than what he usually did back in Ms. Park’s office. With his shaking hands, he felt the coldness of the piano keys, getting familiar with it. From the touch of ebony and ivory within his fingers, he can tell that it is a grand piano, to which he was lucky for. As he decided to reach and turn on the microphone set on the top of the piano counter, he once again felt Kai’s lips brush his ears, Lu Han suddenly struck with the sudden closeness of their faces.

“Play as if no one’s watching…”

Lu Han nodded, and as Kai turned his back, the blind student held his wrist, just like what he did to him a while ago.

Kai was surprised, but his face turned into that calm mask like he always wear.

“Please tell me where the C-sharp minor is.” Lu Han requested.

Kai obliged, holding Lu Han’s index finger in his hand, guiding it to Lu Han’s desired key.

And by that Lu Han was left alone on the stage, him sitting by the piano. He the microphone, deciding that he should introduce himself first.

“I’m Lu Han, and I’m going to play Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 14, Moonlight.” He introduced, leaving the “I’m the new blind student” part, for he discerned by now that every single student of Chunnyeon Arts Academy knew that detail.

Lu Han started pressing the piano keys, playing one of the great composer’s most popular compositions, which was well-known by almost all of the students of Chunnyeon. Lu Han had been playing this piece ever since he was a child, and it was impossible for him to stumble and go wrong with the sonata’s lamenting melody.

All of the students are eagerly watching the blind prodigy as he amazed everyone with his superb and almost impossible piano skills, with his disability and all. Lu Han never fail to amuse everyone, for he successfully stirred everyone’s emotions through Moonlight, as if telling a lonely story of two lovers longing for one another under the shade of the starry night sky.

Never did anyone expect that Lu Han would make a sudden turn, a big risk. As Lu Han closed his eyes, feeling the mezzo forte of what he’s playing, he shifted to another song. By the half of the sonata’s first movement, his left hand which should open the song through an octave, had suddenly played the chords of another sad song from the 80’s. As his right hand continued pressing the  triplet figuration of the sonata, he finally managed to decrease it and his hands fully playing another song, as to everybody’s surprise.

With his eyes closed, which was not really necessary for he is always under a dark abyss, he followed Kai’s words of encouragement with all of his heart and soul’s might. The lamentation of the sonata moonlight still fresh from the audience’s listening ears, Lu Han started singing Irene Cara’s “Out here on my own”, which, for Lu Han, was written for him.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am 
Do I fit in. 
Make believin' is hard alone, 
Out here on my own 

We're always provin' who we are 
Always reachin' for the risin' star 
To guide me far 
And shine me home 
Out here on my own 

Until the morning sun appears 
Making light of all my fears 
I dry the tears 
I've never shown 
Out here on my own 

 
I close my eyes so I can be with you 
Oh, baby, be strong for me 
Baby, belong to me 
Help me through 
Help me need you 
 

The song ended as the whole dome of the Chunnyeon auditorium gave the blind student a standing ovation that he really deserves, for Lu Han sang the song with his pure emotions overflowing, touching everyone’s listening and beating heart.

A/N: I used the following YouTube videos as reference for Lu Han’s performance.

Moonlight Sonata: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWuD23rQsaM

Movie version of “Out here on my own”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIu2r1rya2Q  (a female version, actually, for I can’t find a decent male cover of the song)

How I imagined Lu Han playing the piano (same song, “Out here on my own”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xtyhXI2SVo