Jessica’s POV

“Wow! That was amazing, Jessica!”

I can’t believe that I actually sang in front of them. I've never sung in front of many people before, so I never thought that this is how it feels when you hear them compliment you. It feels great.

“Oh.. Thank you.” I said, trying to hide my flustered face.

“You can be a good singer.” said Sunny.

“Yeah.. You can be famous.” added Seohyun.

“Bloody yes! You’ll become rich! You could be an international singer, with all the glamour and glory! Oh god! You could earn a million instantly! Aaah! Sica-ah… don’t forget us, okay?!” Sooyoung knocked Hyoyeon on the head as soon as she finished talking, then they started to quarrel.

I covered my hand over my mouth to stop myself from giggling, then my gaze accidentally fell on Taeyeon.

“You have an amazing voice, Jessica.” Taeyeon looked at me with a light smile on her face. I looked straight into her eyes for a moment without saying a word. “Believe me.” She added and looked away.

I tried to keep away my gaze on her but there was some unseen force that kept my gaze still. I watched her surreptitiously as she get along with our friends. Taeyeon is such a jolly person. She knows how to get along pretty well. And I feel bad for not letting her do the same to me. If she only knows why.

After almost an hour of fun, we decided to get some rest went in our tents. Tiffany seemed to be enjoying her dreamland already while I, on the other hand, still wide awake. I tried to close my eyes and force my soul to sleep but to no avail. I grabbed a flashlight and head out of the tent to get some fresh air. I walked over not so far away from our place and stared at the city lights from afar.

The place was peaceful and quiet. The moon was shining so bright, and the stars were twinkling. The world seemed to be at ease up here. No noisy sounds from the cars zooming back and forth. No people rushing for work. No irritating sounds from those who doesn’t seemed to realize that they talk so loud. No screaming. No fighting. No STRESS!  

I in a lungful of cold fresh air and spread my arms like I was flying. I tried to think of nothing for a while and closed my eyes.

After a few seconds, I heard light footsteps coming over. I searched around, feeling scared, to see who was coming but it was dark, I could hardly see. I swallowed hard and tried to open my flashlight but I accidentally dropped it down as my hands started to tremble badly.  I closed my eyes tightly and let alone what might happen.

“I thought y-”

“AAAAAAAAA!” I squealed in fright and quickly covered my face with my hands as soon as I heard someone spoke.

“Jessica it’s all right! It’s just me! Taeyeon!” I slowly removed my trembling hands on my face and saw Taeyeon in front of me, with such worry on her face. She put her left hand on my right shoulder and looked into my eyes. “Are you all right? I’m sorry.” 

Without saying anything, I hugged her, tight. I felt her arms wrapped around me too. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry Jessica.”

We stayed like that for a moment. Her warmth calmed my frightened soul. I thought it was some bad guy and would try to kill me or something. But it was Taeyeon. I felt scared, but, knowing that it was her made my heart fluttered in bliss. 

“I feel better now.” I withdrew from her embrace and brought myself back to composure.

“I’m sorry. I should have not followed you here.” She looked so apologetic. She felt bad about it, I suppose.

“No. It’s okay. I think… I just over-reacted.” I gave her a wide smile and patted her shoulder to stop her from making herself feel bad about what just happened. Trying to cheer her up, I gestured my hand towards the city scenery. “Look! Seoul is beautiful up here, isn’t it?”

She didn’t reply and just locked her gaze on mine. “Come on!” I gently pushed her. “I’m all right. Nothing to worry about, okay?” I tilted my head and pouted.

She nodded and stared at the city scenery. “I can’t sleep, so I decided to went outside for a while, then I saw you here. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Hmm.. I can’t sleep as well, so I went here.” She nodded while still gazing out from afar. I put my gaze on her. “Can we talk… til we get sleepy?” I said, sounded a little expectant.

Taeyeon turned and laid her eyes on me as though telling me that it was a good idea. “Okay! What do you want us to talk about then?”

Topic. Topic. Topic. I rack my brain frantically, but nothing came in. I grinned at her like an idiot, like telling her that I couldn’t get any topic and she seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

“You can ask me questions if you want to.” She said and spread her arms.

“Hmm…” I started thinking. “Do you find me y?” I asked, expecting for her to say ‘no’.

She rubbed the back of her neck before giving her answer. “Actually... the first time we met… on the bus, I thought you are.” She said. I narrowed my eyes on her and she put her lips into a purse. “But as time went by and I got to know you, better, I… stopped thinking about it. I think you are a nice person, Jessica.”

I couldn’t help but let out a smile after hearing what she said. The way she said those words, together with her gleaming eyes, made my heart fluttered. “Yeah… I know.” I said, trying to sound cold. She giggled after that.

“He must be a very lucky guy.” She said out of the blue. I looked at her and tilted my head. She was gazing out from afar.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She looked at me and smiled. “The guy you like. He’s lucky.”  I didn’t know what to say. I just gave her an ‘oh’, almost inaudibly. I tried to break the topic by coughing fakely. Then I turned my gaze on the view.

“You like him a lot?” I heard her say. I tried to ignore her but she suddenly stared at me. I heaved a sigh silently before I replied.

“Yes. I like…this person…a lot.” I said, with my eyes directly looking at her and my heart beating wildly. I wanted to let her know how I feel, on her own. I wanted her to know what's behind my gaze. But it seemed like she can’t read my emotions. She looked away after a few seconds.

“You know... when I was younger, I promised to myself that I’ll go to somewhere like this… with the person I love.” I turned my head to her who was smiling while keeping her eyes on the scenery. I continued to listen.

“We’ll gaze out and watch the city lights as we form our dreams… together.” She paused for a moment and I noticed her staring at me from the corner of my eye. I swallowed… hard.  Then she spoke again. “Jessica…”

I was trying to keep myself composed, but I was feeling rather, nervous. I can hardly breathe. Is she going to say that she loves me? That I am the one who she wants to share her dreams with? “Y-Yes?” I managed to reply, trying to hold my breath.

“You have to bring him here.” I unconsciously let out a small giggle after she said that. Can’t you feel that I like you? Can’t you read my mind? Can’t you feel my heart? Can’t you see it through my eyes? I like you Taeyeon. I like you.

“The person I like doesn’t know what I feel. And if ever he does, I don’t think he would ever return it.” I said and moved a little farther.

I was rather feeling a little hurt inside. I like her but I’m not sure if she can return my feelings. And I’m scared, scared of what might happen if ever she does. The world is too narrow-minded for this kind of love. I tried to understand it, but I just couldn’t. It’s just… so unfair.

“You wouldn’t know if you won’t tell him.” She patted me on my shoulder and smiled. “You just need courage.”

Taeyeon’s POV

I don’t think I have the right to say that ‘courage’ to Jessica when in fact, I am the one who doesn’t know what that word means. Knowing that she likes someone else breaks my heart. I wanted to tell her how I feel but what’s the point, anyway? To put myself into great humiliation? To pretend that I’m happy for her even though I’m dying inside?

I stood perfectly still while looking at her for a moment, letting my thoughts swirl around. Her gaze was on the city lights, seemed deep in her thoughts. All I can do is to just admire her secretly. We can never be together. I can never have this girl. I can never have Jessica.

Silence engulfed us for a moment. No one was uttering. We just kept our gaze from afar, not minding about the time and the cold breeze passing through our faces.

“How about you, Taeyeon? Do you… like someone?” She asked suddenly. I looked down before I replied.

“N-No. I’m not actually… thinking about stuffs l-like that.” I chuckled nervously. I don’t usually lie – not unless it’s needed. I saw her brow furrowed in curiosity but she didn’t reply after that. Maybe she's wondering why.

“Are you sleepy now?” I asked as I shoved my hands in my hoodie’s pocket. She just shook her head. I wonder what she’s thinking right now. Does she think about the person? I frowned.

Jessica’s POV

I suddenly thought about my family. I miss my mom, my dad, and Krystal. Sometimes, living on your own is hard. Being miles away from your loved ones makes it even harder.

I glanced at Taeyeon who was squeezing her hand, as if contemplating a topic to ask or something. “Uhmm…” She hesitated. “Do you miss California?”

I stayed silent for seconds, then I sat on the ground with my arms wrapped around my legs. “Sometimes…”

She sat down as well and stared out at the view. “Do you… miss your family?”

“Yes.. Of course, I miss them. Especially my little sister.” My eyes started to well up. I tried to hold back my tears by blinking my eyes a few times. Taeyeon noticed it.

“I won’t mind if you cry. It’s dark, anyway.”

Tears started to trickle down my cheeks. I buried my face in between my knees and tightened my grip around my legs then I started sobbing. I felt her hand on my shoulder, trying to give me comfort. “It’s okay, Jessica.”

Her voice was full of concern, that I would always love to hear. I leaned my head on her and she put an arm around my shoulders. I felt her warmth. Her grip showed me care. I rested my head on her shoulder for who knows how long. My heart was beating fast and I just couldn’t stop the delight I was feeling inside. I wrapped my arms around her waist and closed my eyes. I could almost hear her breathing. I could almost hear her heartbeat.

“Taeyeon….”

“Yes?” I heard her say.

“I…. like you..”

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PS: Updated finally!