L stifled a yawn the moment he woke up. Feeling the gentle rays of sunlight that landed on his face, he could tell that it was morning. A body shifted beside him and his eyes immediately flickered downwards. He smiled ever so gently when he saw the love of his life sleeping next to him. 

Your head was resting on his left arm while his right one was wrapped around your waist protectively. Enjoying the heat that was radiating off L, you snuggled closer to his chest. Although you seemed so gentle in your sleep, he saw that you had a leg over his legs, as if you were hugging a bolster. His smile broke into a grin and leaned in to plant a wet kiss on your forehead before heading out of his room to wash up.

"Hyung." Sungjong greeted his friend the moment he stepped out of his room. L looked at the maknae before giving him an apologetic look. However, before he could say anything, Sungjong shook his head. "We know, hyung. We just hoped that you could have confined in us earlier. We just want you to be okay."

"I know. I just," His brows turned into a frown as he ran a hand through his hair before letting out a frustrated sigh. "I didn't want you guys to worry about me. The last time someone did, he died. Soojeon was afraid that I wasn't having enough fun."

A pair of arms wrapped around L's waist from the back and he stiffened a little at the sudden contact. "Whatever that happened to Soojeon wasn't your fault." You mumbled into his back.

"Mi-ah," L gently removed your hands and he turned around to face you.

"Listen to me, Myungsoo." You grabbed onto his cheeks with your palms and forced him forward till he was at your height. "Whatever that happened was an incident. Soojeon just happened to be there at the wrong time. If you have someone to blame, blame his fate. If he was meant to die there then there was nothing you can do. If you want to blame yourself then fine. Blame the fact that you were not firm enough in your decisions and that you let Soojeon persuaded you. But never, ever blame yourself for his death."

L tried to remove your hands because his neck was aching but you had a firm grip on his head. On the other hand, Sungjong could not help but snicker at the comical scene despite the fact that you were trying to talk some sense into L. You clicked your tongue and glared at L when you realized that he was not giving you his outmost attention. Shocked by your sudden behavior, he stopped trying to pry your hands off to listen to you.

"Have you ever thought about how Infinite will feel when they saw you like that? How I would feel? I had no idea what was happening and it scared me so much. It was like you weren't there even though you were right in front of me. And I wouldn't know what to do if I lose you."

L immediately pulled you into his embrace when he saw the tears welling in your eyes. "I didn't meant to make you guys worry for me. Most importantly, I didn't meant to make you feel scared." He whispered gently into your ear when he felt your body shaking. He knows how it was like to lose someone dear to him and he was scared when Soojeon left. For a moment, he had forgotten how to live on this Earth without his brother. And he does not want you to experience such a terrible feeling.

"This will sound selfish but I want you to always be by my side. Don't ever leave me." You mumbled and he smiled before kissing the top of your head.

"That thought had never crossed my mind."

---

After breakfast, you had decided to bring L to see a doctor. He was reluctant to do so at first, until you mentioned about involving Sunggyu in it. Without saying, L did not want an over dramatic hyung to be crying by his side while dragging him to see a psychiatrist at the same time. It would so embarrassing. 

"Don't worry, he is appa's friend and is definitely