Warning:- There is the use of profanity in this chapter.

The Emergence of Fears

Chapter VI

 Kyuhyun was an even man.

 There were a lot of things he could tolerate. He was a man of strong conviction, someone that kept his promises. He had long promised himself that he would learn to deal with Yesung, that he would try and understand the older man, to try and accept that he was a frustrating selfish bastard that would drive him up a wall and he promised himself that he would never hurt him, but for life, Yesung made that freaking hard to do.

It was not as if he expected an easy relationship. He would have been a fool if he did.

Yesung was a handful but he loved him and that was all that mattered. Yesung however always seemed intent on testing that love, intent on shaking it to its core and stripping it down to its most basic form, ripping all the pretences that Kyuhyun could ever have and Kyuhyun was always sure he would pass. Even today, despite the horrid situation he was sure he was someone that deserved Yesung's love, but for the first time he felt that he wasn’t. His entire mind felt in that moment was anger and heartbreak, hatred for Yesung for all the pain that he caused him.

Kyuhyun could live with plenty, but he couldn’t live with Yesung's indifference.

 He could scream at him or be a complete , curse at him, even hit him, but he refused to be someone that Yesung that could ignore. Did he really mean that little to the older man? Was he and his suffering so freaking inconsequential that he could just turn his back on him and dismiss his presence? Yesung had to know that he was suffering, that his heart was hurt and he needed him, yet he could turn his back on him, speak to him like he did not matter and Kyuhyun was drowning in sadness. He never doubted Yesung's love for him, but sometimes he thinks he has an awful way of showing it, Kyuhyun pained by his indifference.

 Kyuhyun loved him too much for Yesung to act as if he did not care about him or his feelings. He was standing there trying his hardest to fix things, to fix them and Yesung had the audacity to dismiss him with indifference. Kyuhyun was so mad then he thought he would die, letting all the anger flow free. The anger was a thousand times better than the heartbreak, the pieces sticking at his insides.

Anger would be his salvation. It was all he wanted to feel then.

“Come here! Get out from under there now!” Kyuhyun commanded, as he took three large angry steps towards the bed that Yesung occupied, the body curled into a ball, turned away from him, a stab to the place that shreds of his heart precariously held on, the sadness and pain bubbling at the bottom of the surface, his long fingers reaching for the comforter giving it a rough tug.

He held on with white fingers, his energy leaving him, hand shaking from the anger and subdued rage, barely being able to maintain the hold that he had on the soft comforter, Yesung pressing his weight against it, Kyuhyun wondering what he did so wrong in his life to have to suffer in that way. Did he ever not show enough love? Had he hurt Yesung without noticing it? Did he do something to make him hate him? He refused to accept that last option, simply because he was a stubborn bastard and Yesung was not allowed to hate him, he would make sure of that!

 The frustration however building rapidly, heaving a sigh, wanting this to be fixed so bad, not knowing what to do, the evil voice in his head assuring him that he was right, that Yesung did not love him and anger whispering delicately that they should just murder Yesung for causing them so much pain, that it would be easy to just crawl on that bed and wrap his hands around his pretty little throat and end his own suffering, only the small voice of reason, encouraging him to talk to Yesung no matter how hard it was.

 Honestly, anger was pretty tempting.

“No” Yesung asserted, voice stern despite how muffled it seemed, Kyuhyun wondering if he could be arrested for having an underage relationship.

Clearly the jackass hiding below his comforter and acting so petulant had to be no more than five, and therefore Kyuhyun was basically a e. There was no way that the man he was talking to was nearly 30,certainly not based on his behaviour which sadly did nothing to improve Kyuhyun’s temper, sounding like a freaking child having a tantrum .

Couldn’t the fool see that it was a serious matter? Why couldn’t the meet him half way? Kyuhyun was trying so hard and he was just being difficult. Why was he always like that? What was so hard about helping Kyuhyun? Was not asking for much, just for him to let him be at his side, to help him drive away the demons that bothered him, yet Yesung insisted on being a fool that pushed him away. This time Kyuhyun refused to let him do it.

Kyuhyun had been tortured enough, his eyes glaring at the figure on the bed, comprehensively covered by the comforter, hiding away like some coward whilst Kyuhyun was left to deal with his sadness and his heart break, to mend the pieces of his soul, whilst Yesung acted indifferent to all their problems, instead locked away with that treacherous mind of his.

 Kyuhyun was certain about one thing. No matter what happened, he would be talking to Yesung, no matter what he had to possibly to do achieve that. Yesung's ‘no’ was meaningless to him. They would talk about it or atleast they would try, Kyuhyun suspecting that he would probably murder Yesung before they got any talking done, the older man frustrating him to no end, his anger making it hard to see Yesung making out of this alive, but he had a certain purpose and no matter what Yesung did that purpose would be fulfilled.

“Last chance. I want to talk to you. Get the hell out now Yesung!” Kyuhyun threatened, his voice icy and stern, leaving no possible doubt what he wanted. He didn’t care what Yesung wanted, the childishness had to end at some point, pulling at the edge of the comforter with stronger more certain hands, the anger pushed to the side slightly whilst he dealt with the matter.

 He was stubborn and determined to talk to Yesung and he most certainly was not going to degrade himself and his suffering and do it through a comforter. Yesung had better respect him enough to comply otherwise he would be rather displeased. He was not asking for something impossible or something that Yesung could not grant. He just wanted him to come out so he could speak to him, so he could ask him why he was such a freaking childish jackass that refused to grow the hell up and face consequences and deal with actions, instead he had to be a freaking coward and hide like a fool.

Kyuhyun was most certainly not in the mood, his emotions all over the place, so much heartache and sorrow buried but perhaps not close to the sort of anger that he had wedged everywhere, only trying now to hold on to his purpose, hoping beyond hope that he could settle it all with Yesung by talking to him, hoping that they both could both be saved from the sadness and anger and misunderstandings, but most certainly he wanted to save them from resentment.

“No” Yesung responded rather petulantly and even he feels as if it is juvenile but that is how he feels and he doesn’t know what to do.

He honestly does not want to deal with Kyuhyun that evening and he is tired and weary and wants to just rest, but instead he has Kyuhyun clawing at him. It was hard enough to be ripped apart internally and be sure that he would be hurt in the coming weeks, then why did he have to endure this torture as well. The Kyuhyun in his mind and in his thoughts was torturous enough yet still the heavens saw it fit to have the person that he loves more be a thorn in his side, reaching for him despite his instance that he wanted to be alone.

 What was so hard for Kyuhyun to understand? His thoughts were crazy enough, he really did not need Kyuhyun to make his suffering worse, still being unable to look at him without his heart clenching and the sadness overpowering. He just wanted to stay with his apple scented sheets and his delusions. That was all he was asking for.

 He groaned as he pulled the comforter tighter over him, holding it in his tiny fist as he would a shield, his fingers pulling at the ends until it was firmly in his grip and wrapped around him like a cocoon, actually fairly dark beneath the sheets, only the bedside lamp still on, Kyuhyun failing to put on the over head lights, but he supposed he was too mad to do it. He hoped Kyuhyun calmed down, not worried for himself but Kyuhyun’s wellbeing, trying to shove the urge to check on him down, telling himself that those days were gone and he had to accept that, no matter how much he wanted to reach him and pet him and hug him and protect him from cold and anger and frustration and so many other things. He couldn’t do those things anymore. He had to be strong but he was not ready yet.

The feelings were still much too strong to not care.

“You are such a freaking jackass! Fine! Don’t come out. I will just have to come in” Kyuhyun informed with annoyance that was off the charts, trying to keep calm, still annoyed that Yesung was choosing to be a freaking child.

Why couldn’t  he be and adult and act as if he had some sense, but then again, it was Yesung, so how could he expect him to have any at all. The fool as still stubborn as ever but Kyuhyun was no different. If he wanted to make it a test of wills, then Kyuhyun was interested and he sure as hell was not going to lose. Yesung was much too frustrating for him to ever let that happen. He had to get to the bottom of this and Yesung was not going to stop him, the anger surging forward and turning itself into determination, further fuelled when Yesung just grunted from the sheets, pulling it tighter around him.

Kyuhyun wondered if he thought he was joking, because if he did, then he was in for quite the surprise.

A/N: Its really interesting to see how you guys view the characters. I always wonder if what I have in my mind when I write them translates to the readers. Its also interesting that you guys have different views when it comes to Yesung and the way Kyuhyun handles the situation they are in. Fascinating!!

I will post the second chapter later today...we are finally getting into the meat of things :)