The Emergence of Fears

Chapter III

Kyuhyun was annoyed. He really and truly was.

 He was stunned by the fact that he had not automatically combust in the last two hours. He was sure that he would blow a fuse and just bleed out then and there, especially since he was stuck in traffic and was desperate to see a freaking stubborn bastard that seemed intent on driving him up a freaking wall. He just had to choose that day out of all the other days in the year to decide to be his usual infuriating self. Kyuhyun would strangle him.

 He was sure that day would be the day Yesung was finally murdered by him. He could see the headlines now, Yesung murdered by Kyuhyun, speculation as to a romantic relationship turned sour. He actually laughed then. So maybe he wouldn’t kill him…not because he deserved to live, because no one that annoying had the right to walk upon the earth and causing their innocent beloved’s blood pressure to skyrocket and to force them to daydream about strangling the man they loved, because that was just not right. He had to let him live simply because he refused to let the press inform their parents about their relationship and then there was that whole ‘Can’t live without him’ working in his favour and Kyuhyun really couldn’t deal with all that just then, especially not when he wanted to murder Yesung for being so goddamn stubborn and infuriating.

By the time he made it to the front door he already had a list of offences a mile long and was determined to make Yesung suffer, just as the older man had been torturing him in the last couple of days. Kyuhyun prayed to the heavens however that he was misunderstanding things and Yesung was just busy making plans for the big day and was just stressed, Kyuhyun unfortunately being too busy to lock him in a room and investigate the matter more comprehensibly. He had hoped however that he would have the opportunity to sort it all out today though.

It was the perfect time and he had made so many plans. It was going to be perfect and he would finally have the time to speak to Yesung and find out why he had chosen to stay at home for the last couple of days. He had to have known that Kyuhyun would have a hard time sleeping without him, being so desperate that the night before he actually had to sleep in Yesung's bed to fall asleep after a long night of tossing and turning. The bed sheets still thankfully smelt like Yesung and he was finally able to get some rest, glaring at Sungmin to keep his mouth shut if he knew what was good for him. It was not a level of dependency that he was very proud of to say the least, not wishing for it to be disclosed to the general public, Sungmin just nodding, thankfully not mentioning it to Ryeowook, which would have been hard, since they had been joined at the hip recently. It was safe to say however that Kyuhyun had a lot of things he was curious about, a lot of which he hoped to get the answers to.

His plans however had clearly taken a turn for the worst.

Kyuhyun was in the midst of serious planning, everything having to be organized, the restaurant fixed to his specifications, the decoration and just so many other things. He was super excited about it all, seeing it as a chance at salvation, though he could admit that it was rather stressful, especially with all his schedules, but it was worth it. Yesung was always worth the effort in his books. He was pleased on that front, but was rather annoyed when he had been trying to reach Yesung all day and been unsuccessful, his phone going straight to voicemail and having no contact from him all through the day. He was really annoyed at that fact.

 On a day like that one, he expected Yesung to make every possible effort to contact him, especially when Kyuhyun was deprived of seeing his beautiful eyes that morning, having no Yesung in his arms to wake up to, and having no one to fuss over him that way in the morning, though Ryeowook had ensured that he had breakfast, saying that Yesung had called to say that Kyuhyun had to eat breakfast and to ensure that he got to his schedules on time. Kyuhyun felt happy at first, Yesung was always careful with him, then realized that his idiotic beloved had not realized that it would have been better to actually call him instead, to give proper greetings, to acknowledge the moment. Kyuhyun was rather annoyed then, especially since Yesung was making it a habit it would seem.

 Kyuhyun didn’t want to think Yesung was avoiding him, since that would be plain ridiculous, but the fact that Kyuhyun had barely spoken to him in three days was quite startling, added to the fact that earlier in the week Yesung had refused to let Kyuhyun hold him as they slept had Kyuhyun sort of curious but he was persuaded to ignore it, thinking that not even Yesung could be that ridiculous though.

He was forced to seriously reconsider that issue though, given his current situation. He had spent the entire day either dealing with his amazing plans or in a schedule and had yet to receive even a text message from Yesung. Kyuhyun was sure Yesung had enough manners to return calls, so was rather affronted when the managers call to his phone was responded to yet Yesung did not see it fit to return Kyuhyun’s six phone calls, numbers  3 to 6 even containing messages requesting a call back from the older man. Kyuhyun was not pleased in the least as to be expected but he was then committed to not losing his temper on such an auspicious day, steadily endeavouring to keep it all at bay, though that plan was shot to hell when his 7^th call was connected.

 One would think that he would be glad that he was finally able to hear his beloved’s voice, but that was not the case. Yesung was actually rather rude and flippant and Kyuhyun thought he was imagining things. He asked Yesung to clear his evening schedule and meet him a special place, thinking that Yesung would be happy that they could get to send the evening together somewhere special .Apparently he was wrong , as all the older muttered was a curt  ‘we’ll see’ and hung up on him. Kyuhyun didn’t even get to greet him. It was like he didn’t care to speak to Kyuhyun at all and was annoyed that Kyuhyun had called him. Kyuhyun always thought of himself as a tolerant man, a man that was able to withstand great discomfort and disregard but Yesung was really testing his last nerve.

 He was nearly positive then that his suspicions were on point and Yesung was indeed avoiding him. He was thereafter too mad to even care why. It was a very special day for them and Yesung would have to be an absolute jackass to do something that juvenile then. Yesung was going to kill him he was sure. The sort of energy it took just not to kill him was astounding.

Kyuhyun however was determined to give him the benefit of the doubt, more than willing to atleast hope that he was misunderstanding and Yesung was just in the middle of something or was tired and frustrated and forgot that he was in no way permitted to talk to Kyuhyun in such a manner. Yeah that had to be it. That hope however was completely destroyed when he called him later in the evening to confirm the time and place and got no answer, Kyuhyun practically fuming.

Before he lost his sanity he had to get rid of the worry, ensuring that Yesung was actually well before he killed him. He made a call to his mother, an awkward conversation to say the least, Kyuhyun feeling exceedingly self conscious and worried about his every word, though Yesung's mother was always as nice to him as she had always been, making sure to ask if he was alright repeatedly and if he had stopped playing games and getting some sleep. Kyuhyun supposed it would be insane to tell her that he would sleep a lot better if she sent Yesung back to the dorms, but refrained for obvious reasons, wondering if he was losing his mind to even have that thought. After her own brand of coddling that Kyuhyun appreciated despite the awkwardness in his heart he was informed that Yesung was at the dorms and she didn’t think he had anything for the day in particular.

That actually stung a bit, considering that the day was indeed special and they did have something really important on, but Kyuhyun supposed that she won’t know that. It was not as if they had worked up the courage to confess their relationship as yet and Kyuhyun was ashamed to admit that it was starting to weigh on his chest a little. In the moment however he dismissed it, aware that he had more pressing matters, greeting a warm goodbye as she reminded him to call his mother, who apparently was rather jealous that Yesung calls so much whilst he seemingly neglects her. Kyuhyun promised to call her and he can feel the smile through the phone. He is sure that is where Yesung gets it, though he wished the older man practiced it soon, whilst Kyuhyun still had some sort of patience for the childishness.

A call to the dorm a few minutes later confirmed that Yesung was indeed there, Kyuhyun thinking maybe he lost his phone or something, the man is after all sort of an airhead, thankfully though not close to as bad as Donghae, Kyuhyun being informed that Yesung says he is ill and does not wish to speak to him nor can he make it that evening. Kyuhyun asked Eunhyuk to repeat that comment; positive Eunhyuk was insane, because it was better than thinking his beloved had completely lost his mind. Eunhyuk hesitantly informed that Yesung was in his room and refused to take any calls, only saying he was ill and no one was to disturb him.

 Kyuhyun felt his blood run cold, the anger boiling inside him so large he thought he would die, luckily Eunhyuk escaping before he lost control, only muttering that Kyuhyun should probably come home since Yesung was clearly upset about something. Kyuhyun accepted the suggestion nonverbally, wondering what on earth he was supposed to do.

Kyuhyun had made significant plans but if Yesung was intent on staying home then they would all be wasted anyway and then it was just pointless. He had no choice but to return to the dorms and see what was wrong with Yesung himself and then decide if he was going to murder the older man or if he had something a lot more painful on his hands, not just for Yesung but himself. The signs however, making it quite clear that Yesung was not all there or in a good mood and then Kyuhyun’s anger turned to worry.

It was further transformed into near rage however when the trip had taken much longer than expected, some idiot getting into an accident and causing a massive pile up, Kyuhyun stuck with just the manager for a lot longer than he expected. By the time he made it to the 11^th floor after a rush to arrive and some minor issues, he was basically fuming, his palms near white and in no mood to listen to Yesung's excuses.

It was with unprecedented vigour that he made his way to that room that he had come to love, passing by the kitchen, Ryeowook greeting him cheerfully only to blanche at the sight of Kyuhyun’s face, quietly mumbling that Kyuhyun just go easy on Yesung, since he was sure that Yesung was not feeling well. Kyuhyun looked him up and down and then sighed. He was honestly tired.

He thankfully was not required to make further inquiries, Ryeowook naturally informing that Yesung did not speak to anyone all evening and had been holed up in his room, and looked sort of pale when Ryeowook took a peak at him earlier, but didn’t make an inquiry since Yesung seemed to be in one of his moods. Kyuhyun just nodded, processing the information given; only sighing once more when Ryeowook asked him to be patient, since clearly Yesung was sulking about something.

They were all familiar with the sort of moods the older man would have, the days where he would stay in his room and be dead to the world, the genuine playfulness vanishing from his eyes and the laughter all ceased, in its place a small silent child that hurt their hearts. It was more common than anyone one of them would ever like, all forced to just quietly wait it out when he was like that. It rarely lasted long, a day or two, sometimes a week, dead eyes and a troubled expression. It was always unfortunate that he was such a stubborn bastard, asking him if he was alright a waste of time, only ever responding in the most annoying monotone voice ever that he was fine and wanted to be alone, sometimes locking his door.

Ryeowook could remember some days watching even Heechul stand outside not knowing what to do, Donghae the one being the most heartbreaking as all he would do was stare at the door and wait for Yesung to come out. Rooming with him was hard then as well, glancing across at a lump covered by his sheets, not even making a sound, not even crying. Sometimes Ryeowook thought that it would be better if he cried, if he poured it all out in clear tears. Then someone could have wiped them for him and help him, instead he keep it all locked in that mind of his, keeping whatever hurt him all to himself, letting it torture him. When he did come out or when his eyes returned to that bright sheen, it was always a little dimmer than it originally was, though no one ever commented on that fact. They didn’t even mention it to each other but they all knew that it was. No one ever asked him about it though, the answer would always be the same and then sometimes he would be saddened by the questioned, and be silent for hours on end.

It was unnerving and worrisome to most of them, even more so to the ones closest to him. Siwon would be one of the few brave enough to ask, always accompanied by a hug or some sort of comforting pat, though he would only get a smile, thankfully mostly genuine and a shake of the head. He expected everyone to move on as if it never happened and to never ask questions. It was followed as to be expected, everyone aware that there was nothing they could do.

Ryeowook was grateful for Kyuhyun honestly.

Even then Yesung was always a little more honest with him, even if he was glaring. Atleast that was real emotion, real feeling and reaction, rather than those fake smiles he would plaster for the benefit of the rest of them. Kyuhyun always got under his skin the most, though the younger then kept to himself, never really commenting on the fact that his hyung was locked in his room, no matter how much Ryeowook complained. Ryeowook sometimes thought Kyuhyun was uncaring and maybe had some distaste for their hyung. Why wouldn’t he care? It annoyed him then, the wondering if Kyuhyun was happy Yesung was pained never a good feeling for him. He was only ever relieved when Kyuhyun would be one of the first ones to speak him to him when he emerged, thought it was more often a glib remark about his childishness, Ryeowook holding his breath then, afraid of so many things. Yesung would usually glare at him or respond with a sarcastic remark, but then he would smile and it would be bright and Ryeowook would be happy and that was all that mattered thereafter, Kyuhyun forgotten as the others felt more comfortable to speak to him. Kyuhyun was always the first in that regard.

Ryeowook supposed that was Kyuhyun’s purpose, the one that would reach out to him when they were all afraid. With the advent of their relationship, it was the same thing now, Kyuhyun being the one that had to reach out to him. Thankfully since they had gotten involved, the moments of silence were few and far between and Ryeowook knew he had Kyuhyun to thank for that. Kyuhyun drank a bit too much once and told him that he didn’t like seeing him like that and would do anything to stop it, but soon realize what he was saying and stopped, instead asking Ryeowook why he couldn’t get a girlfriend, to which he requested that Kyuhyun not change the subject and promised that he would tell everyone how much of a sap Kyuhyun was. He did not do that in the end, but Kyuhyun was still a sap, one that he was grateful for to be honest.

 He had to trust Kyuhyun to take care of their hyung. He was the only one that Yesung would open up to and whilst that may not please anyone of them they had accepted it and learnt to trust Kyuhyun in that regard. Ryeowook however, unlike some of the others always recognised that it must be hard for Kyuhyun was well. Yesung was hard to deal with when he was like that and the fact that Kyuhyun loved him so much would make it ever harder for him. How could they all just ask Kyuhyun to do something like that, something that they were all incapable of doing, permanently leaving it all in his care? It would be even harder since he would have to worry even more. Ryeowook’s heart heavy when he saw the tired expression that Kyuhyun was sporting, hoping that they both survived the night, wishing Kyuhyun strength. He did the only thing he could do and offered a smile, Kyuhyun nodding in acknowledgement but much too heavy with emotion to react with much else.

A/N: Kyuhyunnie is here now so things will get interesting...but still alot of angst to come I am afraid. I promise to do better at responding to comments, so feel free to ask questions etc. Thanks for the support thus far.

Word Count:- 3,100