Warning:- This chapter contains profanity.

The Emergence of Fears 

Chapter XII

Kyuhyun however was in disbelief.

 He was murderous and pained and just downright pissed. Honestly, what else could he be at this point? He was just put through hell and back for something so ridiculous, the absolute ridiculousness of it just plain heartbreaking. The pain that he was made to feel and the genuine heartbreak of Yesung's voice was enough to have him wondering if he lived in Wonderland, or some messed up creation the Enchanted Forest where nothing would ever make sense and would forever be stuck in a state of stupidity so astounding that he defied logic.

He had no doubt in his mind that Yesung was a fool.

 The most ridiculous, stupid, illogical fool on planet earth and he had to be even worse, since he was so stupidly in love with him that in that minute all he wanted to do was punch  him in the face and then smother in an embrace that he would never release. Kyuhyun was so mad that he just wanted to laugh. Why bother with anger anymore? If that was the path he took he could see himself spending a lot of nights with those bottles of Merlot that he was so fond of. Yesung would turn him into an alcoholic for sure. The level of frustration the man evoked was unchartered. Kyuhyun was even willing to nominate Yesung for a record or something, Hell! He was willing to spring for a plaque in his honour. It could clearly state that Yesung was the most ing frustrating man on planet earth. It was an apt honour and Kyuhyun was on the verge of gifting it to him for Christmas.

The fact that Yesung still...STILL!!! thought he would leave him was so stupid that it defied even Yesung's own brand of flawed logic.

Kyuhyun was quite certain that he had in the last year proven himself to be a whiny, clingy, love sick puppy. It was horribly embarrassing, but at that point Kyuhyun didn’t even have the sensibilities to feel embarrassed, that was how much he had degraded himself. He had shot his pride to hell, lost every ounce of coolness he had ever possessed and was currently the laughing stock of the band that he once controlled with an iron fist and was the subject of teasing from his idiot best friend, and made completely insane by possessive tendencies that he is sometimes willing to admit comes from a fear that Yesung would realize that it’s too hard to be with him and decide that he much preferred to go for the classic formula, all done for the idiot sitting next to him and yet he has to be hear that sort of rubbish.

Had he not embarrassed himself enough? He was a freaking love sick fool.

 There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for Yesung, not a single thing. He already clanged to him like some deranged maniac and granted his every wish, even letting Yesung treat him like a helpless child, destroying any semblance of an image he had. The only thing he didn’t do was worship Yesung, and sometimes when he bent his head into the cervix of Yesung's shoulder and neck and tasted the tangy sweetness of the ridges along his throat, that was exactly what he was doing. He was worshipping the beautiful man, bowing his head before him in awe. It was so bad that even the fans were picking up on it. What else did Yesung want from him? He was so in love that even then he would give it all. Whatever he wanted Kyuhyun would give to him. Even after the bruised cheek and the sore body, the emotional heartache and driving him insane, he was still willing to give him the world.

 So honestly how could he not be mad then?

The only thing that was capable of pushing the anger away was the pure empathy that he felt for Yesung in that moment. He could blame his sentimentality on that blasted love or whatever the hell else that makes him act like such a fool for Yesung, but in that moment, he would only feel sympathy. It was just heartbreaking to hear Yesung say something like that, to hear the pain in his voice and just be aware of how broken the older man really was. Sometimes Kyuhyun thinks he is a fool to ever doubt Yesung's devotion to him.

The man was just afraid. He was afraid that he loved Kyuhyun too much.

The fact that he could even feel fear in relation to Kyuhyun was just pitiful. His mind was such a dangerous place that it even managed to turn something so pure into something so bitter and painful for him. Why was it so intent on hurting his precious hyung? How could it destroy him from inside out? Kyuhyun loved him so much, yet his mind let him drown in doubt and fear and it was just so wrong.  How could he even be mad? Yesung was being ripped apart continuously and still be expected to deal with his anger. Kyuhyun sighed in pain.

What he wouldn’t have done to make Yesung better, to eradicate that corrupted treacherous mind that caused his beloved so much pain. It was the worse feeling really. The helplessness that he felt when he heard those words from Yesung's mouth; enough to make him wish to drain his blood. How was that even possible? And couldn’t he do something to help him? He promised he would protect Yesung, he promised with his soul and yet he had failed him once again.

Kyuhyun was honestly at a loss.

Why couldn’t he fix him? Why couldn’t he heal him? He supposed he would never know the answer to those questions but he would always feel the pain from his inability in that light. It would be something that haunted him, something that damned him to the pits of hell. He was the one that had failed Yesung once more. Even if it was his mind that caused the suffering, he could not do it alone. Kyuhyun knew that. He knew that Yesung would need his support but instead he just got mad and made things harder.

 Sometimes he really deserved to suffer.

He was thereafter desperate to find a way to help Yesung, to remove that fear, to save him from those bitter thoughts. He wished so desperately to make it all better. He wanted to just draw him in his arms and promise him that he would never leave him, that he never had to fear ever, that he was a stupid love sick fool that thought the beads of sweat and dust on his skin was beautiful, that he sometimes thought he lived and breathed for him as cheesy and ridiculous as it all seemed, he would never be able to describe his devotion to him. He wondered maybe it was his failure to describe it caused Yesung the doubt, but then again he was sure he had behaved like a fool enough for that to not even be questioned, but then again it was Yesung he was dealing with, so you never know.

He was tempted honestly to tie their hands together with that fabled red string, clasping their wrist together in an unbreakable thread that would prove to Yesung that they were connected by the fates and nothing, not even him, could break it. Maybe that would be the only way for Yesung to understand how ridiculous his thoughts were, how painful it was for Kyuhyun to hear that he still thought Kyuhyun would hurt him.

 It was just pitiful the way he was so desperate to protect his heart. If Kyuhyun were to really consider that he would just sit there and cry. To love some so much and have them still think that they had to protect themselves from you was nearly unbearable. Kyuhyun however was not going to think about that. He refused to do so. He had to focus on Yesung. The older man was clearly in pain and Kyuhyun had to do something to help him.

The sad part was he was at a complete lost as what to do next.

He lifted a hand, wondering if he could just caress him and drive the troubles away, but with Yesung turned away from him, he lacked the confidence to ask. He needed to fix it so desperately but had no idea how to proceed. The words repeating in his head like a curse that he couldn’t break, Yesung’s pained voice and resignation cutting through his heart, each other stabbing Kyuhyun with a jagged knife, wondering how he let it get that, how he did not notice it before.

What was he even doing, and trying not to wonder why Yesung would ever think  he could ever leave his side, that he could ever hurt him, that he could ever leave him for some girl………….Wait!......Girl?? What on earth?? How did he miss that? Yesung had said girl! He was sure of that. The words were lodged in his head like a broken record, repeated endlessly, as if it were right in front of him. HELL!!! Yesung had said girl! How could he have missed that? He was starting to think he was a bigger clutz than Yesung? How such a relevant statement had escaped his notice was beyond him. He was stunned and then he was just confused.

 Girl? Why was Yesung talking about a girl?

Hmmmmmmmm………..

A/N:- Its a short one, but this will be the last one before I get into the explanation aspect of the story and then comes all the cheesy confessions and cuddles and some more interesting things *winks*