The Emergence of Fears

Chapter XXII

Yesung was in awe.

He thought Kyuhyun was messing with him at first. Why would he have a band with Yesung’s name on it anyway? Was it a prank? Or some sort of extensive teasing that Kyuhyun was trying to use on him.  The younger man was a brat most of the time and was prone to messing with Yesung when the older man annoyed him and after yesterday he was sure that he had annoyed him quite a lot.

He never expected those words out of Kyuhyun’s mouth. The fact that he thought something like that was heart-breaking and Yesung hated himself in that minute. Why did he always hurt Kyuhyun? He could slap himself honestly, but was resolved to make it up to him, to fix the problem, to atone for his sin. He was however sure that he was the person at God’s right hand, the one that the Supreme Being, whoever that may be, favoured. How else could he explain how he could be so lucky? How he could be so blessed to the person that Kyuhyun loved that way, the person that the younger man cherished........the person that Kyuhyun belonged to. Just that thought had his body burning in affection, his heart purring, feeling as if he were floating, vaguely aware that he was throwing himself at Kyuhyun without any shame at all.

He didn’t care about anything, all he knew was that he needed Kyuhyun to be near him, to be locked in his arms, to drown in the scent of apples and just be consumed by him. If Kyuhyun belonged to him, he had no doubt that Kyuhyun possessed him entirely. He was positive that he was at Kyuhyun’s mercy. That thought scared him for a long time and if he were to be honest, it still scared him, but in that minute, he was just grateful to have that sort of connection, to feel that sort of love, to have someone like Kyuhyun. He was just so happy he couldn’t even think and maybe that was why he didn’t even feel an ounce of shyness when he tackled Kyuhyun to the bed, lips on his instantly.

He was not thinking, he was just acting, grabbing at Kyuhyun’s body, the younger man beneath him as he devoured his lips, Kyuhyun not resisting at all, but with the fire and the emotion surging through Yesung it would not have cared anyway, body fiery as if in heat, as he pressed himself against Kyuhyun’s chest, legs ending up in some awkward tangled mess, a small hand coming upwards to hold on to Kyuhyun’s jaw line as he kissed him, lips moving sensually over the younger man’s, easy and affectionate and filled with passion, eyes closed as he enjoyed the feel of the younger man beneath him and against his skin, his lips soft and tasting like nothing Yesung could describe, but its good, its perfect, it’s just Kyuhyun. It’s not that make up they wear or any additive, just the taste of the younger man, sweet and addictive.

 He does somehow feel Kyuhyun’s hands wrap themselves around his back, boldly pulling him closely, the younger man now kissing him back softly, moulding his lips against his. It’s a wonderful feeling honestly and Yesung can’t get enough of it, not even minding Kyuhyun squishing his body against his, hands like a cage around his form, Kyuhyun’s cheek as the younger man on his lower lip. He permitted the action, enjoying it really, until he pulled away, the smooth skin along Kyuhyun’s jaw calling out to him, the younger man grumbling that the lips were taken from him, his plans to slide his tongue into the warmth taken away from him.

 His annoyance is swiftly removed however, when the first kiss against his sensitive jaw line, opened mouthed and sensuous, Kyuhyun nearly positive Yesung had just let the tip of his tongue trace the sculpted line, wanting so bad to just pin him underneath him and let that tongue play with his for a while, only restraining himself because he was sure he couldn’t move, everything much too sensitive to act, just holding on to the precious person dragging his nose along the side of his cheek.

“I don’t deserve you” Yesung pronounced but its husky and muffled, said between kisses to the column of Kyuhyun’s throat, thoroughly enjoying himself, feeling much too much love and affection, wanting to share his appreciation with Kyuhyun, driven by instinct and emotion, feeling Kyuhyun hugging him close, lifting his head to look at Kyuhyun in the eye, trying his hardest to express his gratitude in the matter.

He wanted Kyuhyun to know how much he appreciated him, to know how much he loved him. He would never deserve the love of someone as wonderful or perfect as Kyuhyun. He was so overcome with emotion he thought he would burst, face blushing red, feeling butterflies in his stomach from the happiness and that little sting from the dread in his heart. How can one person he so amazing. He had never done anything like that for Kyuhyun and he felt regretful. Kyuhyun always showed his love and appreciation and he rarely did.

It must be hard for Kyuhyun sometimes.

He felt saddened that he must have hurt Kyuhyun so much, yet the younger man had never given up on him and had just openly declared himself to be his property. He giggled at the thought, feeling his stomach flutter, eyes shining from happiness. Kyuhyun was his forever….Kyuhyun was his! He was so happy, bending to press his lips against Kyuhyun’s, in that silent shy way that always said I love you, now trying to wrap his hands around Kyuhyun’s body, only managing to get over his shoulder, Kyuhyun holding him on too hard for him to move, though he had realized recently that he was not so annoyed when that happened anymore.

He liked to be Kyuhyun’s, just as he liked the fact that Kyuhyun was his, smiling against Kyuhyun’s throat.

“You don’t” Kyuhyun confirmed in a teasing voice, poking Yesung on the side playfully, the older man yelping against his skin, nuzzling against his throat like a kitten, Kyuhyun holding on to him tightly, brushing his cheek against the silky hair just beneath his chin, face in a set jaw breaking grin, positive that his jaw would hurt him later but that is okay, it can join all the other muscular pains he had, the painkillers thankfully doing a great job, though most of his body was still sore.

The bastard was small but he was freaking strong.

Kyuhyun supposed that it was petty but he was glad that Yesung had pain as well, the older man’s jaw line still carrying that very faint redness and the last time he checked he still bore the seal of ownership on his shoulder. Kyuhyun was a little worried that during their little scuffle, Yesung would have hurt his injured back, but so far he seemed fine except for a bit of pain where Kyuhyun’s knees would have sank, purposely or accidentally. He was much better off than Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun was thankful for that.

In his messed up mind he much preferred Yesung hurting him than he be the cause of harm to the older man, sighing in contentment, just happy to be there with him. That is until teeth dig into his skin, yelping at the pain, Yesung pressing his lips to the spot in a soothing gesture. Its wicked but Kyuhyun’s thinks he doesn’t mind the pain if Yesung continues with the kisses, hands holding him against his body firmly, Yesung seemingly content with their positions, continuing his ministrations, Kyuhyun closing his eyes as he let himself drown in the affection, the aroma of coffee and cinnamon invading his nostrils and Kyuhyun just knows he is happy.

 He wants to spend all his days like that, wants to spend the rest of his life being kissed by Yesung and being a fool in love and just holding the man in his arms, pressing a kiss against the hair, biting back a moan when Yesung sinks his teeth teasingly at his collar bones, wondering why he is so bold but he supposed that Yesung was just revenge minded, but seemingly more skilled than Kyuhyun. His ministrations rarely left marks, the bastard always so freaking controlled.

He was annoying and perfect.

Kyuhyun was hesitant to let him go however, Yesung pulling away after the latest injury he caused, leaving the skin heated when he swiped his tongue over it, ensuring that he set Kyuhyun’s nerves on fire and had heat pooling in his stomach, the rest of him sensitive to everything, his heart thumping in his chest.

The annoying man always sets him ablaze and then just walks away.

 Kyuhyun was starting to think that he purposely teased Kyuhyun, that he took some sick pleasure in pulling Kyuhyun’ strings, that he relished being his puppet master. Every time he was ready to confirm that the older man was a teasing minx he would destroy it with the most innocent expression ever, which was he was doing now just to annoy Kyuhyun, pressing his hands on Kyuhyun’s chest to give himself some leverage, peering down at Kyuhyun with soft red cheeks, innocent smile and bright eyes, looking like a freaking angel and Kyuhyun thinks he would enjoy being the one to corrupt him, his mind laughing at him.

Clearly Yesung was the one that did the corrupting, the innocence just a mask, the halo perched on horns that he kept well hidden. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, have no doubt about that. Kyuhyun’s mind letting him know point blank that he was the one that was devoured, the one that was bended and moulded to Yesung's pleasure, whether he chose to admit it or not. His mind was quite certain about that, and with his eyes seeing the man as an angel, he really was not in a position to argue.

“Don’t ever wear that though” Yesung instructed with a chuckle, shaking his head to indicate that he did not want Kyuhyun to wear his present…or was it Kyuhyun’s present? Well…that was confusing.

As it was however, he was just very grateful for the sentiment and would treasure it for the rest of his life, but he was not so selfish as to expect Kyuhyun to wear the band. He was very appreciative and the idea that Kyuhyun had such feelings for him was more than enough. He had no need to have Kyuhyun’s pride be hurt for his sake. He thought it might be demeaning to his young love and never wished to have Kyuhyun’s dignity hurt just to fuel his ego.

Kyuhyun valued his pride and he valued Kyuhyun.

The fact that the cheeky brat even got something like that for him was beyond flattering; offering to wear it was more than he could bear without squishing Kyuhyun again and set off on a quest to find a way to keep the younger man in his pocket forever. He was happy, he truly was, pressing his lips against Kyuhyun’s one last time, the younger man still hugging him against his chest.

“Why not? Don’t act like you don’t like it. I know you are possessive” Kyuhyun insisted teasingly, eyes bright with mischievous, smirking at the man he held against him, Yesung looking down at him with wide eyes, seemingly weighing his words, lips twisting in that way they always did when he thought about something, Kyuhyun thinking he looked gorgeous, nearly straining his neck as he pushed forward, trying to capture those teasingly kiss bruised lips, only managing to brush his lips against them before the man on his chest was pushing him downwards, Kyuhyun chuckling at Yesung's expression, clear to him now that Yesung disagreed with his estimation.

He didn’t think he would agree and to be honest he had his fair share of doubt there as well.

Yesung rarely ever expressed jealousy and whilst Kyuhyun now had his fill of jealousy and wished for it to never be near his beloved or himself, he had been concerned about that once. He couldn’t even remember a single time Yesung had acted possessive. The older man permitted him immense freedom and space. He never restricted Kyuhyun’s activities or reacted to things in a jealous manner. He was the one that often insisted that Kyuhyun spend time with other people and invited Kyuhyun to talk about girls that were pretty or blessed with the right curves. He often wondered why Yesung never batted an eyelash at all the people that hit on him or the mild flirting that he did with his various female acquaintances and even when he was caressing another person with his musicals.

Yesung had never once asked him a question or acted as if he were jealous.

 In fact that indifference pissed him off most of the time. He held on to Yesung as if he were gold, as if he was the most precious enviable thing in existence and wished to lock him away from the world, away from lecherous eyes and roaming hands, even that stray thought someone could have about him. He was so bad he was even mad about comments the fangirls made about his property [ All reasonable actions and in no way jealousy, just the appropriate amount of care required].

 It pained him that he did not seem to be that precious to the older man.

 It was as if Yesung left him to the world for anyone to claim it. Not to say that he showed Kyuhyun off as some prize [sometimes that annoyed Kyuhyun as well……shouldn’t he want to boast that he captured someone so precious. As conceited as that way, he was indeed considered a catch], like Kyuhyun always wished to do with him. In fact he was just very silent about it all. He was never jealous or flashy or possessive or any of those things. Kyuhyun was always aware that he loved him, but was always concerned that Yesung made no real effort to possess him.

He didn’t need too of course, positive that if they ripped his heart out his chest it would have Yesung's name etched somewhere in the mix of blood and veins. He didn’t need anyone’s chains to know who he belonged to, whose property he was. Despite his personal knowledge of that fact it was worrisome that Yesung made no effort to inform the world of that. He instead was willing to let Kyuhyun roam free. The idea annoyed Kyuhyun greatly.

He was sure he was deranged, but it would have felt nice to be possessed by the older man in that way. Yesung did of course have his moments, but those were reserved to the privacy of their bedroom when he would sometimes hold on to Kyuhyun and insist that he was his and in those moments Kyuhyun would feel his heart swell and enjoy the feeling of affection. He clearly had mental problems but even so he would enjoy the happiness. It would be pointless to be insane and unhappy as well. With that in mind, he was aware that he was perhaps reaching when he claimed Yesung was possessive, but sometimes he liked to think he was.

 “I’m  not, you little demon” Yesung says pulls a face in response, obviously acting his age, Kyuhyun laughing at the cuteness of it, Yesung choosing to glare at him, prompting Kyuhyun to pull his cheeks, the older man shaking his head away, removing a hand from his chest to pull his earlobe, casually forgetting that was the holding up his weight, his other small hand buckling with his weight, yelping as he fell face first into Kyuhyun, his forehead hitting Kyuhyun’s nose, which hurt like hell.

 Kyuhyun groaning in pain, though he made no enough to move him, not when his lips were so teasingly close, made so by the fact that he had scrunched up his face after the impact, Yesung groaning as he tried to roll off of Kyuhyun, cheeks burning in embarrassment, feeling foolish for numerous reasons, Kyuhyun’s endless laughing annoying him, as well as the fact that the idiot wouldn’t let him go, Kyuhyun squishing him against his body, Yesung trying to get away so he could deal with the embarrassment, Kyuhyun having some mercy on him, turning to his side, dragging Yesung down with him, allowing the older man some freedom, though he kept a hand on his waist, Yesung cherry red, eyes crunched together, Kyuhyun tugging him against his chest as he held him close, Yesung having no qualms about burying his head in Kyuhyun’s chest, taking a few breathes before he stuck his fingers into Kyuhyun’s side in punishment, the area stinging like hell, Kyuhyun yelping softly before he poked him in retaliation, Yesung no longer fighting him, just fighting his giggles now, Kyuhyun chuckling happily.

“Really….it’s only an idiot like you that would avoid someone when they feel possessive” Kyuhyun commented, still teasing Yesung's sides, the older man giggling softly, biting on his lips to stop the sound, not wanting to give Kyuhyun the satisfaction.

The bastard knew he was sensitive to things like that and always took advantage of his predicament. He didn’t even know what to do with him anymore, except maybe biting his nose off so he could walk around looking like as weird zombie freak and scare people with his deformed face and be an idiot………clearly he thought about this too much. He only refrained because he knew even if Kyuhyun was a no nosed freak that scared other people he would love him the same and that would mean he would have to stay beside him and protect him from people that did not like zombie look-a-likes  and that would be even more annoying than Kyuhyun himself.

 He really didn’t have a choice but to just tolerate the brat, and kick him in the shin if he got an opportunity, one which he took right away, kicking Kyuhyun swiftly. The angle was all wrong and all he ended up doing was letting Kyuhyun have easier time of tangling their legs, but he was sure some of it connected, even if Kyuhyun seemed pretty unfazed by it.

“Honestly I can’t decide if you are cute or just an idiot. It’s more than likely that you are just an idiot though. You will just have to accept that Hyung…cuz really? Who avoids the person when they feel jealous and possessive? You really are an idiot” Kyuhyun said in mild glee, still having a laughing fit, not even flinching when Yesung whacked across the chest, finding it amusing to be honest, wanting to capture the hand but he needed his hands around Yesung, so they were allowed to escape, just his hands not the man himself.

Kyuhyun was quite intent on holding on to him. Whilst Kyuhyun never felt jealousy [keep telling yourself that…*whatever!*] he was often possessive and naturally knew that the best way to deal with things like that was to keep the person close. Honestly he really thinks Yesung is an idiot but he also thinks he is an angel and the devil incarnate, so he has given up [rightly so!] trusting his mind when it came to Yesung. As it was Yesung was much too cute for him, the older man sneakily trying to get out of his grip, currently making eyes at him, initially glaring at him but eventually turning to a pout, apparently not pleased with Kyuhyun’s words, a blush taking his face, Kyuhyun bending his neck trying to meet his eyes as his chuckles died down.  

He was trying to feel regretful for his words but he couldn’t muster the guilt to do it. He was entirely truthful. Normal right thinking people would have simply kissed Kyuhyun so hard he would feel in into next year, or maybe be rough and violent and claim ownership, but instead Yesung chose to sulk for days and worry everyone and avoid the person he loved. If he ever concludes that Yesung was anything other than an idiot he would be lying to himself. No matter how much he loved the fool, Yesung was still an idiot when it came to his feels.

Kyuhyun thinks it very unfortunate but maybe that was Yesung's charm.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t even to make him love him less though, gathering him in his arms, Yesung not being helpful, which didn’t even annoy Kyuhyun anymore, just pulling him back into his arms, wrapping his hands around him protectively, Yesung grumbling against his chest something about not being able to breathe and all of that but Kyuhyun was ignoring him, just making sure he was not oppressive enough to hurt him, but simply wanting to hold him close, to enjoy the feel of the person he loved against his body and let himself drown in his favourite drug, to let that coffee cinnamon aroma invade his nostrils and just be happy that they survived such a bad fight, that they were stronger together now, that he could have no doubt that Yesung was the one for him.

Even all of that and the aches and bruises that lined his body due to that fool’s inherent stupidity; he loved him and wanted to spend his life with him. He was sure it would be hard, positive that he would break his heart and bend his spirit in the future, endless suffering to come. He was sure about that, positive that they would face rough times and trying days but he is also equally sure they would be ready. Once Yesung was beside him and in his arms, it would always be perfect.

That was the only way he could see it.

He needed Yesung to understand that as well and would pray with his whole heart that someday he did. Kyuhyun sighing against the hair he was inhaling, Yesung having long calmed down, not struggling, just letting Kyuhyun hug him, face buried in Kyuhyun’s throat, hand drawing a soft pattern against Kyuhyun’s side, breathing easy and calm, having the effect of calming Kyuhyun’s mind and spirit, just holding on to him like that, feeling like a mushy idiot, grateful that Yesung's warmth was always enough to remove all over thoughts, except for  his admiration for the older man, finding the small fingers against his side to be more tempting than they should be, aware that Yesung was just amusing himself more than deliberate teasing, Kyuhyun sure that Yesung was a gift from the heavens, a perfect present sent to him to make up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him in life, the universe’s way of repaying him for his difficulties, the most perfect gift ever.

…………….Gift? ……ah right.

A/N: Just two more and an announcement left.