The Emergence of Fears

Chapter XVII

“You always get things like that wrong, you idiot!” Kyuhyun pointed out with a chuckle, poking at Yesung's side as he chuckled, the older man groaning at the contact which made him laugh even more. He was not kidding. Yesung always got their romantic entanglements wrong.

The guy was clearly an idiot when it came to their relationship.

 Kyuhyun by that point knew it came from his lack of confidence and insecurities and so many other little things that messed with his mind, but at the end of it, looking back, Kyuhyun could only see idiot really. He loved him, mind you, but he was still just a fool.

It was all so wrong, so very wrong.

Kyuhyun continued to laugh, ensuring that his hands were stationed where they should be, one at Yesung's freakishly tiny waist and the other sliding around his shoulders, head leaning to press a kiss to dark hair, Yesung shifting against him, Kyuhyun supposing he was just happy. He still had to murder Yesung of course, but with the fruity smell in his nostrils and the warm body in his arms, he thinks it’s perfect.

“Are you mad at me? I know I hurt you today. Are you mad that I always get it wrong?” Yesung questioned after a few minutes of petting, pulling himself from his arms, Kyuhyun just thinking he wanted some breathing room, having been so wrapped up in each other for so long, letting him go free.

Yesung did not go far, not evening attempting to loosen Kyuhyun’s hand on his waist, just shimming out of his grasp to lie beside him, just giving himself enough room so that he could look into Kyuhyun’s eyes and speak to him properly. His eyes were gleaming with fear and worry and Kyuhyun was stunned. It’s a hard question to answer, as it is exceptionally loaded. If he said no then he would be lying and that would upset Yesung since he could not lie to him very well and if he said yes then he ran the risk of opening up another can of worms that would not be pretty.

 Yesung would doubt his intentions and stupidly think he was a burden to Kyuhyun. He was goddamn infuriating even then and Kyuhyun would snap that pretty little neck of his. Arrghhh!!! What was he supposed to say? If he lied Yesung would get mad and if he spoke the truth then he was sure Yesung would be sad. It was a horrible situation to be in. Seriously?! Why was he even looking at him like that?

 He would lose his soul soon he was sure. Sigh.

“I am furious. You are the most annoying, frustrating person in existence but……but….I’m going to forgive you. Atleast then I won’t have to see those puppy eyes and all that childish pouting…..are you a child?” Kyuhyun concluded his teasing  with a laugh, Yesung scowling at him, Kyuhyun smirking at him.

Yesung probably would not believe his words, but the sincerity was strong in his eyes. He was not lying at all. He was indeed furious and he had also forgiven him. What sense would it make to hold a grudge?

He could admit that he was not entirely over all the suffering but then was not the time to deal with that. One day soon he and Yesung would need to talk properly and flesh out some of those issues, but they really were not in a position then to try it. He was tried and his body ached and he had just wasted a couple thousand dollars, then add the stress of it all and he was sure he was not in the best position to have that sort of conversation. Yesung was more than likely drained as well and neither could endure that.

They had to talk about it at some point in time though. It was not good to leave all those smaller issues unaddressed.

Overall however he had indeed forgiven him. Yesung had hurt himself more than he had hurt Kyuhyun anyway and the only thing that would give them any benefit was ensuring that Yesung never had those sorts of thoughts again. He supposed Yesung would punish himself a lot more than he could ever do it anyway. It also didn’t help that he was apparently incapable of staying mad at the cute man in front of to him as it were.

He was really starting to hate that scared expression that lurked just beneath the surface, thrilled that Yesung was glaring at him, leaning forward to recapture his favourite prisoner, a kiss pressed against his temple as soon as he reached him, giggling when Yesung grumbled something inaudible but then he sighed and settled, Kyuhyun aware that the mood was changing once more, mentally saying a pray to the heavens that it did not mean that Yesung was upset with his comments, the smile falling as he gathered him properly in his arms, waiting for Yesung to speak, no longer chuckling.

“You can’t leave me Kyu ah. You are mine. You have to stay here with me even when I get things wrong and annoy you. You can’t leave me, not even for a pretty girl. You have to stay right here with me always” Yesung informed in a soft breathless voice, just above a whisper near Kyuhyun’s throat, using the previous silence to once more wrap his arms around Kyuhyun, holding him tightly.

 The words weren’t confident nor were they steady, instead they were pleading and shy. Kyuhyun could scream.

Yesung was pleading with him to stay by his side. He was begging Kyuhyun to do something that he would do even if the world was ending. How could he not know that? How could he not know that all Kyuhyun ever wanted to do was stay at his side, to rest against their small bed and hold him in his arms. He was tempted to kick Yesung in the shins so he would know that he had no right to even ask that. It was disrespectful and plain stupidity to think something else was possible.

That was Yesung for you though and Kyuhyun was just going to love him.

 It broke his heart to hear that pleading voice but part of him honestly wished to rejoice. Yesung had finally done something that he craved for a long time. He had been desperate once upon a time to hear those words from Yesung's mouth, to have Yesung actually say he wished to possess him.

 It was always sort of saddening.

He wished forever that Yesung would want to own him, to possess him, but did not want it to be that way. He wanted it to be confident and heartfelt, not pleadingly. He never wanted him to feel that he had to ask Kyuhyun to stay beside him. He was supposed to be sure and forceful. It was not supposed to be that way, but atleast Kyuhyun could be sure that Yesung wanted him beside him, wanting him in his life, that he loved him. Even if he had the most annoying way of showing it, Kyuhyun was grateful for it all. It would help heal his heart in many ways, even if he wanted to strangle the idiot still.

It was nice to know he was so loved.

“I know where I belong Hyung” Kyuhyun stated simply, meant to be the final answer. In his mind it was as simple as that anyway. Yesung never had to worry about anything or ask Kyuhyun stay at his side. Kyuhyun knew where he belonged and that was always at Yesung's side. It was as simple as that in his opinion.

 He was determined to stay in his ordained place, to fulfil his fate. Yesung couldn’t stop him even if he wanted it. Kyuhyun just hoped he understood that, leaning down to press soft kisses to the hair just beneath his eye line, shifting his body so that he could atleast reach his temples, Yesung not coming out easily, but Kyuhyun didn’t mind when he started to press soft kisses to the base of his throat, the action soft and sensuous and he knew that was Yesung's way of saying thanks. He didn’t need or want his gratitude for stating the truth or loving him, but he was not going to turn down some sweet kisses.

He was rather greedy when it came to them anyway and they were never enough in his opinion, even when they made him fluttery and giggly.

They feel soft against his skin and make it erupt in goosebumps but it’s that sweet sort of torture and he is addicted to it. His hands tighten their hold, wrapping around Yesung completely, drawing him against him fully. If Yesung was squished, he did not complain. It would be wrong if he did considering that he was doing the same thing virtually. His hands were still wrapped around Kyuhyun anyway and with the last movement, their legs were tangled ridiculously, Kyuhyun feeling Yesung's thigh between his legs and warmth of his small toes brushing against the back of his shin, as well as even more uncomfortable entanglements. If he dwelled on them however he was sure he would embarrass himself and make things awkward. They were much too close for either of them to hide that sort of thing, so he was endeavouring to keep all his thoughts clean. Considering that he was not feeling anything awkward with Yesung pressed against him, the older man was doing the same.

He was thrilled that they were able to finally feel arousal when with each other, the fluttery feelings and the small body and the taste of skin and the blinding warmth of it all was making it all very easy to get the blood flowing, but they weren’t at that point. He was happy that he could want it now, but execution was still a little problematic. They would get there though. He knew they would and probably soon, but they had to deal with all the uncertainty and be sure. He did not want to rush it and they both feel uncomfortable or worst regretful after they did it. There was no pressure anyway.

He could admit that it was a little hard going without for so long, but it was more than bearable.

 It was better to entertain himself than rush to do something that they did not enjoy and were not ready to handle anyway. He wanted them to be sure and be ready and to enjoy it. Since the logistics still escaped him a bit and he was sorta queasy about touching another man in that sort of place or being touched in that way he supposed it was not the right time, but the temptation was always so great, especially with Yesung pressed against him in that way.

 It’s so close and it all feels so warm and his heart was thumping, but he would endure.

Clean thoughts were his policy. He would not think about things like that. In the meantime however he could marvel at how well their bodies fit together, enjoy the warmth and weight of Yesung, consider how on earth he was so flexible and try not to think about what that flexibility could mean for the future, savour his kisses and try not to slip his hand beneath the thin tee shirt to feel that smooth skin.

 Yep it was a good day.

A/N: Are you guys still there? or are you all bored with this story already?...lol....I promise it gets fun soon and even more cheesy..lol