The Emergence of Fears 

Chapter XXIV

“Kyu ah- I don’t....I-“Yesung stuttered, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say, unsure as to what Kyuhyun meant, trying to find his own bearing. Clearly that was not what he had in mind or rather not what he had expected from Kyuhyun, especially not after all the teasing that he was doing previously. Kyuhyun was so genuine, so sincere in his request that Yesung truly did not know what he was supposed to say, how he would answer, his heart thumping in his chest, every emotion he could possibly feel slamming into his male brain, feeling flustered and happy and just so many things. He is not sure if he is annoyed or in love when Kyuhyun saves him from the stuttering, the younger man somehow able to always calm the storm inside him, this time with his soft lips.

He didn’t know what was happening, only aware that Kyuhyun had asked for something very confusing and wonderful and he was afraid instantly. Could he make Kyuhyun that promise? What did it mean? His thoughts were distorted however when Kyuhyun leaned into him, simply pressing his lips against his. He was not sure if Kyuhyun meant to end his annoying rambling or maybe he was convincing him or maybe he just wanted a kiss [Kyuhyun always wanted a kiss, he had discovered] or any other possibility.

 He found he couldn’t care for Kyuhyun’s motives when the soft lips slide across him, soft and gentle and nearly unlike Kyuhyun. Normally he would be more urgent or passionate, but then he was slow, teasing nearly, except Yesung could detect no mischief in him, no smirk playing against his lips, his eyes hidden by his long lashes, Yesung's eyes fluttering close as he allowed himself to just feel Kyuhyun with him, to feel his hand that was sliding beneath his body to pull him closer, drawing back into his chest, removing the distance that speech normally created, the hand warm against his skin, Kyuhyun sliding it beneath his tee-shirt, a large finger pressed against his warm skin making it heated, though it made no further action, the hand on his waist slowly creeping upwards, a finger tracing along the length of his arms that pressed against Kyuhyun’s chest snugly, tracing a soft tantalizing path all the way to Yesung's shoulder, sliding up to caress his cheek, long fingers splayed across the red flesh, using its hold to angle Yesung's lips against his, on the lower fold leisurely, Kyuhyun seemingly intent to enjoy it all, soft and sweet and Yesung was infinitely positive that if his heart beat any more quickly it would jump right out of his chest, yet he enjoyed the feeling immensely. It is not the pounding of excitement, just the knowledge that the person he was attached to loved him more than he would ever understand. There was no drug in the world that could replicate the true feeling of bliss that he had in that moment.

 The kiss is slow and gentle. It’s not the rush of adrenaline that comes with lust, no white heat in the core of his body and whilst he can feel some of that blood heading southwards, it’s not that sort of feeling. Instead it’s those flutters in his stomach and the goosebumps along his skin, the warmth of affection and the hope for the days to come, it’s the promises of a bright future and love on a lazy Sunday morning, snuggled into too warm sheets in the summer, the comfort after a hard day and the strength of hard times. It’s the promise of a lifetime together and Yesung soon finds himself with his hand buried in Kyuhyun’s rich dark curled hair, kissing back with equal affection, gentle and wonderful and he feels sort of lightheaded, barely biting back a groan in protest when Kyuhyun pulls away, the younger man chuckling softly, the sound warm and beautiful and Yesung honestly just wants to kiss him again, appeased however when Kyuhyun kisses his nose, brushing their noses together, Yesung thinking that it was like he were a puppy or they rather.

“I want you to hold on to me Hyung. I want you to hold on to my hand and never let go. You have to promise you won’t let go no matter what happens. Even if you think that you should or you think it would be better that way. It’s not your choice anymore Hyung. You don’t get to decide anymore. You have to promise that you will not let go until I do. It’s what I want Jongwoon hyung. You will give it to me right?” Kyuhyun speaks, voice tainted with this sort of hopefulness that both breaks and strengthens Yesung's heart.

He is thrilled that Kyuhyun could want something like that, heartbroken that he had acted in such a way that Kyuhyun had to seem as if he were pleading, that Kyuhyun could think he would not give his life for him, that he did not want to spend forever with him. He supposed though that Kyuhyun had a right to be wary. He was not very good at holding on to Kyuhyun was he? Why Kyuhyun would want him to do such a thing he would never understand. Something was wrong there, but perhaps it was right as well. He couldn’t let go of Kyuhyun until Kyuhyun let go of him. It’s what he wanted right?

He needed to think.

It was hard to do that though, especially not with Kyuhyun looking at him in the eyes, forced and nervous. Kyuhyun was there trying to keep his hands steady and the blush from his face. He was embarrassed that he actually uttered those words with his own mouth, rarely ever being that honest about what he wanted.

He was terrified Yesung would see him for what he was; a frightened clingy brat that would only suffocate him. He was desperately afraid of how Yesung would react, willing to endure the loss of pride but not wanting to be burdensome to the older man. Would Yesung see him as being too clingy? In a way he knew that he was but it was different to say it. He would have avoided it completely as he tends to do with things like that but he knew deep down that it had to be said. Yesung was honestly Kyuhyun’s worst enemy, or rather Yesung's dangerous mind.

The man tortured his own self and was often more destructive than any external opposition they could face. The warped reality and worry that plagued Yesung's mind would rip Kyuhyun to shreds if he let it continue that way. He had to protect them from Yesung and his mean mind. It was surreal to be honest but he knew it was the right course of action. He had to be specific and be strong; he had to stop Yesung from over thinking things. He knows that the only way to truly ever deal with it was to get Yesung to trust him. It’s a difficult task and he is willing to try but in the meantime he needed an insurance policy.

He had to get something to protect him from Yesung's insecurities, to protect their relationship from his doubts. In Kyuhyun’s mind, it was clear. He had to get the promise to override everything that Yesung's mind ever told him. Even if Yesung convinced himself that Kyuhyun was better off alone, he would not be able to leave him. Kyuhyun thinks saying it that clearly worth the embarrassment. All he could do thereafter is hold his breath and try not to pass out as he waited for Yesung to answer him.

 He felt as if his life was dependent on that promise, that his happiness was at stake.

 In a way it was of course.

 If Yesung could not grant him this wish he is sure part of him would die. It would be like Yesung rejecting their future. All he wanted him to do was hold on to him. Maybe he asked for too much from the older man. He never stopped to consider whether or not Yesung would truly want to release him, if the older man would stop loving him. The thought scares him and he admits it….he wanted to protect against that as well.

 It was selfish and low and wrong and he wishes he could be embarrassed about it but he was not. He loved him too much to release him. He could only hope that Yesung's love extended as far as he thought it did. He prayed for the chance at forever. Yesung couldn’t let go until he did and he sure as hell was not going to. It would be settled, Kyuhyun pooling his hopes on the confused man before him, Kyuhyun’s heart uneasy.

Was Yesung going to deny him? He honestly didn’t know what he would do. Breath followed by breath….examining Yesung, everything he seeing worrying him.  His heart felt heavy as he waited those few agonizing seconds longer than usual, Kyuhyun’s eyes falling every twitch of his lips or every exhale, each pulled line causing his heartbeat to race, just waiting.

“I promise” Yesung vowed with sincerity, shaking his head to make his acceptance known, Kyuhyun nearly gasping when he spoke, having missed the change in the second he blinked, Kyuhyun’s mouth falling open, trying to catch his bearing, Yesung watching him in mild amusement.

He personally thought Kyuhyun was overreacting but he could admit that he had a margin of doubt. He did not make promises lightly and took them seriously, being bound by his dignity as a man to keep his promises. What Kyuhyun was asking for was hard for him. He knew Kyuhyun was making a mistake. He knew that Kyuhyun would have a better easier life without him. His mind was insistent that he was holding Kyuhyun back even if the younger loved him. If he truly loved Kyuhyun he would stop being a burden to him.

Kyuhyun however made it quite clear that he wanted him to hold him.

In fact Kyuhyun made it clear that he was not to release him until Kyuhyun chose to release Yesung. He was hesitant, with due cause, but he promised Kyuhyun one wish and he intended to grant it to him. If that was what he wanted then it was his. He still thought Kyuhyun was making a mistake but he was grateful that Kyuhyun was taking the choice away from his hands. He had suffered long and hard over that and could still not find any recourse. He knew what the right thing was, but he now knew that he didn’t have the strength to leave Kyuhyun. If Kyuhyun did it for him then so be it. He was tired fighting.

He was doomed from the very beginning.

There was nothing left to protect or hide, Kyuhyun owned it all, owned him entirely. He was wasting his time thinking otherwise. He was Kyuhyun’s to do as he willed and it was about time he accepted that. All he could do to save himself was learn to be strong and not get too comfortable, and even that Kyuhyun would make difficult. Even then he was too comfortable in Kyuhyun’s arms. He was lost it would seem. He was a defeated man. The least he could do was make his young beloved happy. If Kyuhyun wanted to be the only one that got to make that choice then so be it. He would do as Kyuhyun asked. He would fight for him and hold on. Kyuhyun wanted him to hold on for whatever reason and that is what he would do it. He promised.

He was even about to inform Kyuhyun of all his thoughts on the matter, to reassure that he would do as he said, do whatever he asked, once Kyuhyun was happy. He was interrupted however by a bone crushing hug, Kyuhyun holding him even closer grinning ear to ear, not even giving way when he Kyuhyun kissed his forehead and cheeks urgently, the younger man smiling brightly and Yesung was positive it’s the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or rather one of them, aware that he is rather susceptible to Kyuhyun’s smiles, the effect of Kyuhyun’s happiness on his own wellbeing tremendous. Kyuhyun does give him a bit of breathing room though, leaning back a bit to speak, Yesung caught in his arms still, just feeling sort of light headed and happy.

“You have to keep your promise Hyung or I will be mad. I am a scary person Hyung. I will punish you if you don’t” Kyuhyun warned seriously, or at least he thought he was serious, but the affection and the warmth he felt from the promise Yesung just made to him made him too happy to have the words spoken with any fierceness , though he kept his hand on his face, looking at the now giggling man in the eye, a smile forming despite his best efforts to look serious, leaning forward to rub his nose against the small button nose of the man he loved, Yesung continuing to giggle for some unknown reason, or at least it was unknown to Kyuhyun, which happens  a lot so he was not worried.

Even if he was being so affectionate, he was dead serious. He was intent on holding Yesung to him promise, intent on holding the older man responsible for his vow to him. Yesung had to keep that promise. He would more than likely be hurt very badly if he ever broke it but he liked to think that he would be strong enough to impede him even if he did. He promised to punish him and he thinks he would. He is not sure as of how but something really painful.

Yesung was not supposed to let go of his hands.

As creepy as it was becoming, he still couldn’t even think about Yesung leaving him. He thinks he might survive it if Yesung was unhappy with him or hurt by him, but to let the older man leave his side due to false reasoning and a weak mind, endless doubt that had no place in their relationship. If he lost Yesung over something as ridiculous as that he would not be able to live with himself. Kyuhyun’s thoughts were interrupted when Yesung’s giggles increased, the older man apparently having no fear, pulling away from Kyuhyun or rather simply making some room to speak.

“You will punish me? How can something I own punish me?” Yesung asked teasingly, in between his giggles, having the time of his life, poking at Kyuhyun’s shoulder, finding the entire thing amusing.

He had taken heed of Kyuhyun’s words and was a man of integrity. If he made a promise then he would keep it within the best of his ability. If he broke his promise then it was Kyuhyun’s right and responsibility to call him out and hold him accountable. He was liable for his words and would keep his promises. Kyuhyun had a right to be mad and was indeed a scary person when he wanted to be, but the idea of Kyuhyun punishing him was undeniably funny to him.

How could something he theoretically owned be permitted to punish him? He supposed Kyuhyun hadn’t thought about it very much, judging by the fact that he was glowering, his face all scrunched and adorable, Yesung pinching his cheeks, making Kyuhyun even more irritable, Yesung shamelessly continuing to laugh at his younger beloved, finding great humour in his displeasure. His giggles however soon turned to yelps when Kyuhyun turned into him, forcing him flat on his back, Yesung’s giggling dying down as the fire burned in Kyuhyun’s eyes, the younger man pressing him against the mattress, his weight acting as the perfect chains, Kyuhyun’s hands try  to reaching for his, holding them against the mattress, not exceptionally forceful but in a way that would keep them still, Kyuhyun looking down at Yesung with a devious expression and heated eyes, Yesung gulping, feeling that now familiar heat spread through his body.

“ And you said you wasn’t possessive…tsk tsk…but don’t worry, I am sure I can think of a way” Kyuhyun proposed with a knowing smirk, head dipping to capture lips or they would have if Yesung did not turn away from him, Kyuhyun instead kissing his cheeks, Yesung smiling at his perfect evasion, Kyuhyun grumbling against his cheek, shifting once more to get to his lips, Yesung being mean and lifting his knee, up and firm against Kyuhyun’s thigh, the shock causing Kyuhyun to release his hands. Yesung took that as an opportunity to push against his chest, Kyuhyun being pushed back with a groan.

“Aww…you are violent” Kyuhyun commented with a grimace, wondering if he should stock up on painkillers, acting the part even more. He was positive that if he acted out the injury a little more he would get what he wanted, biting back the smile when Yesung's demeanour changed, now looking at him with worried eyes, Yesung no longer giggling, instead reaching for his face in a comforting gesture, Kyuhyun waiting patiently to capture him.

He didn’t have to wait long for Yesung to reach for him, warm eyes gazing at him as he held his cheeks, Kyuhyun grinning as he pounced, swooping forwards to get his kiss, lips pressing against Yesung's, only to be groaning once more when Yesung shoved him away, this time more forcefully.

“You sneaky brat!” Yesung admonished, pushing Kyuhyun away, his hands against his shoulder, using his legs to kick at Kyuhyun’s shins, the younger man grumbling as he was pushed off of him, sliding to his side, Yesung smiling in triumph, pleased with himself as Kyuhyun grumbled from beside him, turning to his side to make his victory known but was ambushed.

By the time Yesung turned towards him Kyuhyun already knew what he was going to do, grinning when he saw the movements, Yesung's eyes going comically wide when he grabbed him, hands at his side gripping on to his waist before he launched his tickle attack, fingers poking and prodding, Yesung smacking his chest, both trying to avoid the other, ending up in a weird tangled miss of limbs, Kyuhyun groaning now and then and Yesung screeching in giggles, yelping every time  Kyuhyun’ long fingers prodded anywhere sensitive, both either giggling or yelping, Kyuhyun positive his chest would be bruised after the number of times he was pinched by those small fingers.

He endured the torment though, wrapping his arms around Yesung finally, back against his chest, only made possible by the fingers that refused to stop tickling his sides, Yesung kicking his shins, Kyuhyun forced to release him, but only barely, Yesung still making a racket, Kyuhyun rather enjoying the sounds of his beloved’s torment, both would begrudgingly admit that they were just playing with each other, as childish as that all was. A game that they both enjoyed, even when he was kicked in his thigh, Kyuhyun still thought it was enjoyable but that may have been linked to the punishment he administered, poking Yesung especially hard, the older man yelping loudly, music to Kyuhyun’s ears, grabbing at the evasive man once more.

“Didn’t I tell you guys the walls are thin? Heechullie hyung may enjoy listening to you guys defile each other but I  certainly do not” Sungmin called loudly from outside, grinning to himself, pleased that he had the effect of fear, the silence from inside amusing him. He knew they were probably just playing with each other but it was too much of a great opportunity to let go by, ensuring that he did the right thing and take the mickey out of them.

 He was just walking by when he heard Yesung yelp, followed by Kyuhyun groaning, then even more noise naturally followed. He was not lying before. Their walls were indeed far too thin and he dreaded the thought of actually having to hear them when they finally got over their extended …he shivered, pushing the thought away. What he heard was not very damning of course, aware that Kyuhyun could just be playing with Yesung that way, but in the context it was more than enough to get them riled up. Sungmin grinned further when Eunhyuk approached.

“Yeah…we can live without the sound effects.  Can’t you guys have some mercy on our innocence?” Eunhyuk called out as well, chuckling in amusement at the situation, walking to the kitchen when he heard Sungmin’s tease, wanting to join in as well, both of them giggling with each other like a bunch of school girls.

“No!! …Sorry…we weren’t…just playing…Can you guys stop?....it’s not-“ Yesung stuttered.

“Do you two have a death wish? Stop interrupting me!”- Kyuhyun fumed

“Kyuhyun!” a solid reprimand piercing the air.

“Stop saying things like that….they will think we were doing that” Yesung admonished, fairly loudly.

“They can think what the hell they want. They better not interrupt us when we do get to it” Kyuhyun argued.

“Awww!!! Hyung!!” Kyuhyun’s loud complaints making its way through the half open door.

Sungmin and Eunhyuk bursting into loud peals of later, thoroughly amused by the bickering couple inside the room, Kyuhyun apparently being punished for his disagreements, Eunhyuk laughing his head off at their fierce maknae’s endless grumbles and complaints, the younger man whining to their hyung, so was apparently indulging him. It was a rather cute moment which came at their expense.

Yesung and Kyuhyun were so caught in arguing with each other that they had seemingly forgotten the laughing eavesdroppers outside the half shut door, Yesung apparently now appeasing the temperamental maknae, making them laugh even more.

“You two are hopeless” Sungmin called as he and Eunhyuk departed, reaching for his friends hand as they left for the kitchen, both still laughing at the cuteness of the endlessly bickering couple, promising that he had to tell Heechul about the new developments, Eunhyuk apparently beating Sungmin to the punch, already on the phone with Heechul, both still giggling.

♥규 성♥

“See what you did?” Yesung asked with a glare, eyeing the man just beneath his eyes with reprimand, but always with that natural sort of fondness that he couldn’t seem to get rid of, hands wrapped around the younger man, who was resting comfortably on his chest, Kyuhyun having thrown himself against him when he smacked him for fuelling the teasing, the maknae thinking it would work in his favour to act cute for his hyung.

He was right, Yesung melting at the sight of him, forgetting his annoyance, just holding him close and soothing his hair, small hands still in the silky locks, brushing in out of Kyuhyun’s eyes, the younger man’s eyes closed as he listened to a heartbeat that he could hear in his depths, wondering if their beats were in synch by now, just feeling happy and in pain, his body now even more sore due to their little game, but just contented in the moment, wanting to force on Yesung’s warmth and affection alone.

“I’ll kill them later” Kyuhyun informed a little distorted, not exactly asleep but the happiness making him lethargic, his fingers playing with the band with Yesung’s name on it, having retrieved it in their scuffle, holding on to it now in between two fingers, happy to just run his fingertips over Yesung’s name, wanting to just stay where he was forever.

“I’ll help you” Yesung  volunteers, a little lazy himself, his voice soft and mellow, speaking calmly, hand brushing Kyuhyun’s hair, the other running soothing motions on his back, just feeling rather thrilled to hold on to Kyuhyun that closely.

Yesung felt light and he felt happy.

The weight of Kyuhyun’s chest was a comfort to him; the silkiness of his hair against his fingers the path to heaven. Yesung had fears and he had doubts. He knew they would never truly leave him, never be properly vanished. He also knew however that he had had just made a promise to Kyuhyun; a promise that he would give his life to keep. He would hold on to Kyuhyun until the younger man released him.

He would love his snarky annoying brat with his whole heart, cherish his existence and be grateful to have Kyuhyun’s love. He would work on removing the poison in his mind and he would value each moment. He was resolved and unbending in his determination. He would make Kyuhyun happy and he would hold on to him, everything else be damned, or at least he would bury it.

He would endeavour to spent the rest of his life exactly as he were, bending to press a kiss to Kyuhyun’s hair, the younger man settled against his chest, making a happy sound low in his throat, making Yesung chuckle softly. He didn’t mean his ice fortress anymore. He would just use Kyuhyun.

Now why didn’t he think about that before?......

“So what did you do today?” Yesung inquired casually, just following his most favourite routine, one that he hoped would be continued for a long time, holding Kyuhyun in his arms just asking him about his day.

“Try to take over the world” Kyuhyun mumbled a little groggily, but Yesung could make out the laughter in the words, Kyuhyun smiling lazily, enjoying the soft petting.

“Idiot” Yesung commented, shaking his head.

Sigh.

The End.

♥규 성♥

Author’s Note:

Originally this was written for ice420, as a prompt but took on a life of its own as you can see. I will attach the prompt:-

Anniversary Fic

 - Okay this could part or not of the continuum too

 - challenge is, I want to play with Yeye’s insecurities and fear that one day Kyu will wake up and leave him. sure he keeps saying that Kyu deserves better blah blah blah but what IF Kyu does something or something comes up that shows Yeye that it might happen. Jealousy is out but I want Yeye to ‘stake’ his claim. Make Kyu his. that sort. I think it’s just fair that Kyu gets to feel ‘possessed’.

 - a possessive Yeye!!

 - not a typical anniversary celeb. they botched the ‘romance’ part *chuckles* but still the day should end with them happy and on a bed!!!

 - gift exchanging (?)

 - I want more convos! I want Yeye to open up more

 - a tall request, can you give me french & tongue? (oh god, pls do this prompt)

 - aggressive Yeye

 - I need MinWook here

Go to the next chapter for a surprise ;)