Changmin gripped the phone tightly in his hands as he spoke, unsure of Jaejoong's feelings towards him. Was Jaejoong mad at him like how he was at Yunho? Sweat dripped down his brow as worry clenched Changmin's heart. Jaejoong was the only hyung that he had not spoken to so far. If Jaejoong did not forgive him, what was he supposed to do? Jaejoong had always been special to him. He was his favourite hyung out of the three, second only to Yunho hyung.

Besides, he is also the only hyung that I show my one touch to.

When the lawsuit was first announced, Changmin had stared at the newspaper in shock. He had not expected his hyungs to follow through with what they said. His mind went blank and for the first time in many years, Tensai Changmin found himself helpless. They were told by their management to wait for the three of them to come back and all plans meanwhile were to be put on hold. Changmin had laughed then. 

"What makes you think they will come back?" he said bitterly to their manager, "How can you have so much confidence?"

Their manager had remained silent at that. Changmin knew then that even their manager could no longer avoid the truth. The three had left the company and were not going to change their mind about the lawsuit any time soon. They were set on doing it and waiting for them would be just a waste of time. The situation escalated from there when they formed a sub unit JYJ and began singing as a band once again. Just like that, Changmin and Yunho were left behind. Just like that, Changmin and Yunho were forgotten, abandoned.

Changmin was furious back then. He had known and understood his hyungs' reasons behind the lawsuit. He could sympathize with them even. For was it not true that their pays were always delayed? Was it not true that they were receiving so little compared to the amount of money he was sure the company earned from the sale of their albums? He had understood that, hence he did not blame his three hyungs for suing the company.

However, this, he simply could not comprehend. He could not understand how his hyungs could simply form a band JYJ and leave both him and Yunho behind. He could not understand how his hyung could even entertain the notion of singing without his and Yunho's voices. It was like they were telling the world they were no longer part of TVXQ. It was as though they were abandoning the name they fought for for so long. The name that bounded them together. It was as though they no longer cared about them.

That night, Changmin cried. The sadness that was trapped inside him, the melancholy he desperately tried to hide and the disappointment he was struggling not to feel were unleashed all at once. Torrents of tears came one after the other and soon Changmin find himself grappling for air.

"Why Yunho hyung? Why?"

He had questioned Yunho as he sobbed on Yunho's shoulders, letting the waves of despair wash over him.

Why are they doing this? Did they not care about us anymore?

"I don't know."

Yunho had whispered in reply, triggering more tears out of Changmin. His hyung, his Yunho hyung who always knew everything, was now telling him he did not know, that he had not a single idea on what was going on. Jung Yunho, the smart and efficient leader of Dong Bang Shin Ki, the leading group in Asia, was entirely clueless on the situation before them. 

He was always the one guiding and leading them but now, Yunho was as lost as he was. They were both dumped in a maze with no one to show them the way out. They were left to fend for themselves. They were left to die. Changmin had always thought that as long they were five as one, they had nothing to fear.

But now you're only two. You have plenty to fear.

Changmin closed his eyes as the tears ran down his face. How were they going to get out of this mess? Could they ever pick themselves up again? Or would they be trapped in the darkness forever, unable to see the light?

Jaejoong hyung, Yoochun hyung, Junsu hyung, do you truly not care anymore?

Changmin questioned silently in his mind as he held on to Yunho; the only anchor he had in the midst of all this madness since the lawsuit started.

"Changmin."

Jaejoong's voice jolted him out of his reminiscing and Changmin was faced with Cassiopeia as they looked on with concern, worry evident in their eyes. He must have zoned out for quite a while judging by Cassiopeia's reaction. Smiling in reassurance, Changmin returned his attention to the conversation on hand, the constant warmth presence of Yunho sitting next to him providing him strength. 

"Jaejoong hyung." Changmin spoke softly, disbelieving that Jaejoong would use such a gentle tone to speak with him. He was secretly expecting Jaejoong to scold him and let loose some of the anger he had shown when he was talking to Yunho.

So why was he being so calm about this?

"Changmin, I heard what happened between Junsu and Yoochun," Jaejoong explained, as though he heard Changmin's silent question, "In fact, I was there since you first called them. We were always together."

Always together..

Yunho felt a pinch of hurt at that but quickly dismissed it as Jaejoong continued.

"I forgive you, Changmin. I know you don't mean to do certain things at certain times and I can understand that you say harsh words that you don't mean when you're angry. You are very wise, Changmin ah, you apologise for your mistakes, lowering your pride to salvage your friendships..." 

Jaejoong inhaled a deep breath of air as the words he was about to say died on his lips.

"But Changmin, surely you as the wise maknae recognize this phone call for what it is? An extremely useless and futile attempt?"

Yunho swallowed the tears he was sure was stuck in his throat. He knew Jaejoong was mad at him but he never truly knew the extent of his anger till now. It was as though every word that Jaejoong uttered were swords that were constantly piercing through his chest, a wave of pain after another, making it difficult for him to even breathe.

"You are very wise, Changmin ah, you apologise for your mistakes, lowering your pride to salvage your friendships..."

Yunho knew what Jaejoong was trying to imply by that statement. Yunho was stupid. He was a coward. He did not apologise to Jaejoong. Not even once. When Yunho initiated the break up with Jaejoong, it was through a text message which simply stated: Let's break up.

He left Jaejoong with no explanation and allowed all of Jaejoong's calls to go into his voice mail. He had heard it back then; Jaejoong's plea for him to pick up the phone and Jaejoong's desperation as time went by, calling him every hour and praying he would pick up the call just that one time.

Still, Yunho never did. He switched off the voice mail, denying Jaejoong even the opportunity of hearing his voice. Yunho knew he was avoiding reality but he did not know what else he could do. He did not know how he was supposed to react or what he was supposed to say, so he sought the easiest solution available: Avoidance. He pretended he did not hear Jaejoong's pleas. He pretended that Jaejoong never existed. He pretended that the love between Jaejoong and him was never real. He pretended Jaejoong was nothing.

And what good did it do to you?

Yunho closed his eyes as Jaejoong's words played in his ears.

"...surely you as the wise maknae recognize this phone call for what it is? An extremely useless and futile attempt?"

Futile. Useless. Hopeless. Jaejoong had given up on him. Jaejoong had given up on their relationship. It was all useless now. All hopes of them ever reconciling were dashed and gone with the wind. It was at that exact instant then that Yunho realised that deep down, some part of him was actually hoping that it would work. That some part of his broken heart had actually harbored hope that they would get back together eventually.

But all efforts are futile now...

Yunho clenched his fists as he struggled to maintain his composure, his heart getting heavier and heavier with each beat. He was sorely tempted right now to just snatch the phone from Changmin and hang up the call.

Any thing. Any thing but this pain please..

"Jaejoong hyung, how can you say that this phone call is futile? A phone call managed to save my relations with you all didn't it?" Changmin reasoned, unaware he was prolonging Yunho's pain by doing so.

On the other end, Jaejoong sighed.

"If one year ago, you have presented this opportunity to me, I would have gladly lapped it up, but now, I am no longer concerned about it. I can no longer bring myself to care about the relationship between me and him."

"Love is what keeps them going strong, Changmin ah, but his and I have already weakened throughout the years, can't you see that? Our love had diminished the second I left the company and has been dying out since then."

"Hyung."

Yoochun uttered as he observed tears streaming down Jaejoong's face.

Why are you lying to yourself?

"Changmin ah," Jaejoong continued, ignoring Yoochun's unspoken question, "I'm ready to move on with my life now. I'm ready to let it all go and leave the past to the past. Can you fault me for truly wanting to forget? For so long, for so long I've doubted the love between me and him.. For so long, I've learnt to live with the pain till it's the norm for me.. Can't I just let it go once and for all? Don't I deserve happiness too?"

"Perhaps one day me and him will talk again. Perhaps one day we might even reach the stage of being friends but for now, Changmin ah, hyung is really weary. I'm really tired of feeling all these pain, all these misunderstandings, all these hurt.. I just want to live my life happily, Changmin. Is that too much for hyung to ask for? Can't you let me go?"

Changmin stared at the phone in disbelief, his eyes bulging out of his face. He had expected Jaejoong to be angry at Yunho but never did he expect that Jaejoong would be weary of him, that Jaejoong would stop fighting for their love.

"...surely you as the wise maknae recognize this phone call for what it is? An extremely useless and futile attempt?"

A futile attempt. Changmin finally knew what Jaejoong meant now. It was indeed futile to continue the conversation. Jaejoong had made his stand clear and Changmin could not blame him for it. All those years of hurt and pain had taken its toll on Jaejoong, so much so that now all Jaejoong yearns for was to be free of them all and who was Changmin to deny him that?

Because they were more than just best friends, because they loved each other so much, the hurt and the pain they suffered was just too much. It was more than the two of them could handle.

Yunho hyung.

Changmin thought as he turned to Yunho, worried about Yunho's reaction to Jaejoong's words. He was just about to question him if he was fine when his eyes widened in horror as Yunho's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slipped off the chair, landing on the floor with a great thud.

"Yunho hyung!" Changmin screamed as he ran towards Yunho, discarding the phone in his hand.

Yunho heard Changmin's shout as air rushed by his ears. Instantly, familiar arms enveloped Yunho, holding him tenderly in his arms, furiously checking Yunho for injuries. Cradled to Changmin's chest, Yunho could hear Changmin's heart racing as he bellowed at the emcee to call for an ambulance above Cassioepia's screams and shrieks, panic evident in his voice. Yunho surrendered to the darkness, knowing he was in safe hands. His only conscious thought left lingering were Jaejoong's words that replayed over and over again in his mind like a broken recorder as the darkness swallowed him whole.

"I just want to live happily... Can't you let me go?"