"Good morning." Jaejoong greeted him with a smile as he gently kissed Yunho on the lips, "Ready for breakfast?"

 

Yunho smiled back, his eyes filled with gratitude. Watching Jaejoong leave the bedroom, Yunho's eyes welled with tears as his gaze strayed to the window, the first hues of sun filtering through the window and casting his face in shadows. It signified a beginning of a new day to others but it felt like the end of the world for him. In a matter of hours, he would be standing in the church, sending his father on his last journey to Heaven. The end was nearing.

 

"What are you looking at?" 

 

Jaejoong questioned him, breaking Yunho’s train of thoughts in the process. Jaejoong stood by the doorway, staring worriedly at his lover whose face was blank and morose. Yunho was as stiff as a statue. If not for his chest movements that were heaving up and down, Jaejoong would have thought that Yunho was dead. Sighing, Jaejoong bit his lips and turned away, choosing to give Yunho some time to himself. He did not know who had died but judging by Yunho's reaction, it must have been someone extremely precious to him, someone that was in his family. Shaking his head vigorously, Jaejoong stopped all thoughts at once. Yunho would tell him when he was ready. He was sure of it. Now, all he had to do was to make them breakfast and make sure that Yunho has at least some food in his stomach before they face whatever they had to during the latter part of the day.

 

Yunho let out a huge sigh as Jaejoong's receding footsteps echoed in the bedroom. He supposed he could have answered Jaejoong. In fact, it was Jaejoong who deserved to know the most. Yet, Yunho's heart was heavy and his lips were sealed. He could try but Yunho knew that it would not work. He was too afraid of saying it out loud. Even up till now, he still struggled to hold onto the illusion that he was alive, even though he knew the truth. He was just being a fool was he?

 

Getting out of bed, Yunho stepped out of the doorway and walked to the bathroom at the long end of the corridor. While he was walking down the aisle, he noticed that out of the thirteen photographs displayed on the walls, only one had its frame broken. Puzzled, Yunho turned around and looked back at Jaejoong's room. It was missing a door too. Shaking his head, Yunho decided that he did not really want to know what happened. Still, if he were to make a guess, he was pretty sure it was in courtesy of his violent and short tempered maknae, Shim Changmin.

 

He shuffled his feet to the bathroom. Brushing his teeth in the dark silence, he avoided  the mirror as his reflection glared at him, mocking him for his stupidity. Turning away from the mirror, Yunho looked at the sink beneath him instead. He could not help it. Even if he did not want to remember, even if he tried so desperately to forget, he could never do so. The eyes that once held him in tender love and concern were looking upon him with accusations. No matter what he did, he could not avoid it. It was his eyes. Those dole brown irises reminded him of his father. They followed him whereever he went. How could he possibly avoid them?

 

Chuckling bitterly, the tears mixed with the saliva that dripped down his mouth as he spat his gurgle out into the sink, his hands trembling as he grabbed the handle of the tap. Why? Why on Earth had he inherited his father's eyes? If he did not, he would not be forcibly reminded of it every day. If he did not, he could continue living in ignorance. If he did not, he could be blissfully stuck in denial, but now, he could not. He had to bear the weight of his sins. He had to carry the guilt of sending his father into an early grave. He had to learn to live with all this pain and bitterness inside of him. How was he supposed to do that? How was he even going to get through this?

 

"Hahaha, you said you’re U Know Yunho huh?" Yunho mocked his stage name, the bitter chuckles gradually subsiding to silent tears streaming down his face, "How about U Know who doesn't know?"

 

Falling to the ground and landing on his knees with a soft thud, Yunho's face displayed no slightest hint of emotions as he looked at the ground, his eyes blank and dull. He supposed the fact should have sunk into him by now. People come and go. It was the natural cycle of life. It was how things were supposed to be. Yet, Yunho could not face it. He could not accept the fact that his father departed so abruptly. He had so much to say to him still. He had so much to make up to him for. Yet, he left without a word and now there was nothing left to do but regret, and Yunho was already feeling it every single second of his life. How was it possible to be in so much pain and yet still living? How was it possible for his heart to be beating as always? Yunho felt the palpitating organ beneath his chest. Should it not stop?

 

Clutching his shirt, Yunho ripped it off in a matter of seconds. He was about to reach for the nearest sharp object when his motions were stopped by the arms he felt enveloping tightly around him.

 

"Jae," he whispered into the silence of the bathroom, "What are you doing?"

 

Jaejoong said nothing; choosing to bury his face into Yunho's back. Slowly, the mist of grief dissipated in front of Yunho's eyes and he dropped the shirt he held in his hands, the shreds of fabric landing around the pair of lovers.

 

"G-God," Yunho uttered, staring incredulously at his bare hands in shock, "What the am I doing?"

 

His disbelief was reflected in Jaejoong’s eyes as the latter held him tight in his arms, refusing to let go in that instant.

 

"Nothing," Jaejoong uttered after a while, smiling at Yunho with tears in his eyes as he loosened his hold on his distraught lover, "You're doing absolutely nothing. Come on! Let's go to the living room. It's time for breakfast."

 

"N-no. Wait, Jae, I-" 

 

"It's alright," Jaejoong interrupted Yunho, his back facing his other half, "It is okay. I went through it too. There's nothing to be ashamed about. I don't blame you. It's normal." 

 

"Jae."

 

"Now," Jaejoong continued, heedless of Yunho's interjection as he turned around and smiled at him, "why don't we just have breakfast together in the living room? It's pointless to waste our time and continue this line of conversation."

 

Looking at the determination in Jaejoong's eyes, Yunho instantly understood. Taking Jaejoong's hands into his, the pair walked to the living room together, leaving the dark shadowed bathroom behind them. As Jaejoong squeezed Yunho's hands in reassurance while they made their way down the aisle, all Yunho could think of was this:

 

Jaejoong understood how he was feeling and was determined that they were going to overcome this challenge together. It was no longer him alone with the darkness. Jaejoong was with him every step of the way. They were together. They were a team. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore.

 

It was with this courage he held in his heart that Yunho walked up to the microphone that was placed in front of the church, the whole congregation staring at him as he prepared to make his speech. Changmin, Yoochun, Junsu and Jaejoong were sitting on the front benches nearest to the stage while his mother and his sister sat on the other side. Normally, it would be the spouse of the deceased that made such a remembrance speech but Yunho's mother had insisted that her son to be the one who spoke it. Perhaps she was giving him a chance to let his buried feelings out; perhaps she was giving him a chance to seek for forgiveness. In any case, Yunho had accepted, never wanting to defy his parent's will ever again. Still, as he stood on the stage with all eyes staring on him, Yunho realised then and there that it might not be as easy as he thought after all. Glancing at the blank piece of paper in his hands, Yunho hid a bitter smile. He was too engrossed in catching up with Jaejoong yesterday he had completely forgotten to write a speech for this funeral. Now, what was he supposed to say?

 

Clearing his throat, Yunho took the microphone out of its holder, his mind as blank as how his eyes looked.

 

"Many years ago, a baby was born," he uttered, his mind making up words as he spoke, "many years later, a man has passed on. He leaves behind a family who loves him dearly, a son, a daughter and a wife who is also my mother. I can go on and talk about the many accomplishments he achieved as a human being but that doesn't really matter to me. You may know him as Jung Yang Hyun, a rich businessman whose business dealings always end in success. You may know him as Jung Yang Hyun, a newspaper collector who used to deliver newspapers to every family in the wee hours of the morning to support his family in monetary crisis. You may even know him as Jung Yang Hyun, TVXQ's U Know Yunho's family, but to me, he is nothing more than a father."

 

"Growing up, he was always strict with me, teaching me the importance and value of money even when I was a kid. He was a good role model and he would teach me the basic essentials of my life, grooming me to be who I am today. Although he might not be necessarily supportive of what I do at first, he would always be the one cheering for me at the end and egging me on when I've failed. He has made a huge impact on my life and I'm sure he did for many others sitting right here in this hall."

 

Seeing that most of the audience's faces were streaked with tears, Yunho smiled, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

 

"He always tells me, "A real man never shed his tears, but if he does so, it must mean he is really heartbroken." I guess he was right. I am heartbroken over his death and here I am shedding tears. I guess this proves I'm a real man huh?" Yunho joked, causing the church to erupt in laughter.

 

"So, to the man that was a great father and husband, I dedicate this song to you. I am everything I am because you loved me. Thank you, Appa, and thank you all for listening to me."

 

Bowing to the congregation, Yunho exit the stage just as the first few notes of Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me hit the air, the silence vanishing along with it.

 

Then, things started to get really hectic after the speech. Time rushed by and before he knew it, Yunho was dragged from one corner of the room to another as yet another business associate shook his hand and sincerely expressed their condolences for his deceased father. Smiling, Yunho grabbed the hand that was offered, his hands cold and clammy with sweat. Then, he bowed to the man before him in both gratitude and respect before both parted ways and the next business associate came to greet him.

 

Yunho internally sighed. The funeral had already begun two hours ago and he still had not had the opportunity to talk to Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu. He was surprised Yoochun and Junsu even showed up. Evidently, Changmin must have done something behind his back that he did not know of or the pair would never have thought of stepping in a place that he was in. No matter the reason, Yunho knew this presented a perfect opportunity for him to patch things up with them. Still, it seemed like his wish would not come true any time soon. Another wave of incoming people had flooded into the auditorium just as his tired gaze had caught Jaejoong's worried ones that were all the way at the end of the room. Giving Jaejoong an apologetic nod, Yunho turned away from him and plastered a smile on his face, prepared to greet yet another friend/relative of his father's.

 

"I'm sorry for your loss." A man in the black tuxedo greeted Yunho in a raspy voice before Yunho even had a chance to say a word, his hands clasping Yunho's tightly, "Tell me if there's anything you need okay?"

 

Surprised by the sincerity in his voice, Yunho nodded his head, his eyes still widely opened as he looked at the man before him in shock.

 

The man simply smiled, “You’re very much welcomed, Yunho shii. Where is your mother by the way? How is she coping?” 

 

Turning around, Yunho then realized that his mother was nowhere to be seen in the auditorium. Bowing to the gentleman in a hurried apology, Yunho strode off, proceeding to find his missing mother. He was just about to pass a room by when the quiet whispers of Changmin's and his mother's voices stopped him in his tracks. Leaning close to the door, Yunho opened it without a hitch, leaving a small gap of space in between, his curiosity getting the better of him.

 

"So you've found out huh?" his mother commented as she leaned against the window sill, her eyes piercing through Changmin as he bowed, his gaze directed to the floor. The tension in the room was evident and this puzzled Yunho as he eavesdropped by the doorway. He had not known that Changmin and his mother had any problems in getting along. He thought they were at least on speaking terms with each other but with the scene that was presented right before him now, he was not too sure. What exactly was it that they were talking about that led to all this tense silence? What exactly happened that he was unaware of?

 

"I couldn't help but think that it was all too coincidental that everything happened as smoothly as it did,” Changmin continued, having unheard Yunho’s silent questions, “How did Yunho hyung's letter end up on my desk? How did Eomonim get a hold of Jaejoong hyung's keys? Why would Jaejoong hyung's mother pass the keys to Eomonim? Why was Yunho hyung's half of the photograph laid on the table so blatantly? It was as though all these were pre-planned. It was as though this was part of a scheme that someone was plotting to get Yunho hyung and Jaejoong hyung back together."

 

"So you narrowed down the suspects’ list." She spoke.

 

Looking up to his mother's eyes, Changmin nodded.

 

"I knew it had to be a family member of Yunho hyung. After all, the letter that Eomonim gave Jaejoong hyung was a photocopied version of the original and that can only be obtained if you are the patient's family. Since Yunho hyung's family only consists of three other members, it was easy to narrow down the mastermind behind this plot."

 

"And you're confident it is who you say it is?"

 

"Yes Eomonim." Changmin bowed, "It can definitely only be him."

 

There was no doubt in his voice. He was absolutely sure of what he was insinuating. Sighing, Yunho's mother patted Changmin on the shoulder, a wry smile upon her lips.

 

"No wonder they say you are the smartest of them five. You really do figure things out fast." she commented, "So I am guessing that you want to know the reason to all this?"

 

Changmin nodded his head once more.

 

Smiling, Yunho's mother turned away from Changmin, melancholy evident in her eyes.

 

"It's like you said, Changmin ah, love makes every intelligent soul blind. It was only after our son broke up with Jaejoong that Yunho's father truly realized the magnitude of what he had done. Watching our son die a little in his heart day by day, he finally understood the price of his request."

 

"If that was the case, then why didn't he just tell Yunho hyung directly? Why do all this plot and secrecy?" Changmin exclaimed, his eyebrows furrowed together at the illogical actions of Yunho's father.

 

Yunho's mother chuckled in reply, her laughter echoing throughout the whole room.

 

"I think you know the answer to it as well as I do, Changmin ah," she continued smiling, her face instantly looking younger by ten years, "Didn't you break up with your girlfriend because of the very same reason?"

 

Then, leaving Changmin alone to ponder what she meant, she left the room, never noticing the person that was hidden behind the door. Casted in shadows, Yunho left his hiding place soon after, a single trail of tears rolling down his cheeks as his footsteps echoed down the long narrow corridor, cutting through the silence like a knife through butter.

 

The secret was revealed and the truth was exposed but with the truth did not necessarily come happiness and joy. Standing alone in contemplative thought, Changmin realised then that sometimes, being clever was not a gift but rather a burden; a burden he had to carry alone by himself.

 

Sometimes, intelligence was not a blessing but rather a curse.

 

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! :(( Believe it or not, this chapter actually took me 3-4 hours to type out so I really hope you enjoyed this. :(( I apologsie once again for always making you readers wait for my updates. :( I'M SORRY! ;(( Anyway, this isn't the last chapter. I was intending it to be so but it was just too long for me to squeeze all that drama into a chapter. :( Keep your eyes peeled for the epilogue. That's what coming up next. Hope you enjoyed this. :DD P.S. Thanks once again to my lovely betas, _caxiAhtic_ and fairytael for editing this. :DD