Jaejoong turned the letter in his hands, hesitating as he stared at the envelope before him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you think I should open it?" Jaejoong looked up to the rest of s, his eyes moist with tears.

"I think you already know the answer to that question, hyung." Junsu replied, "But you're just afraid to open it."

The silence dragged on as Junsu's voice faded away as time passed. Jaejoong continued staring blankly at the envelope. Changmin sighed. Prying the envelope gently from Jaejoong's hands, he opened the envelope and took out the letter within.

It was only when he noticed the familiar handwriting on the letter that he finally understood Jaejoong's hesitancy. Without a word, he passed the letter back to Jaejoong, pushing the letter between his fingers. Getting up, Changmin then motioned Yoochun and Junsu to exit the room, leaving Jaejoong some space by himself.

"The letter, it was written by Yunho hyung was it?" Yoochun seeked Changmin's eyes as he uttered. Changmin nodded. Entering Jaejoong's spare bedroom, he signaled the pair to follow him, closing the door quietly behind them.

"I didn't get to read much of the letter, but if I'm not wrong, this is the exact letter Yunho hyung's therapist told him to write during one of their sessions together."

"Therapist?" Junsu repeated, "Yunho hyung's condition was that bad?"

Changmin laughed bitterly.

"He wanted to die. He lost all reason to live. How bad do you think that can be?"

"But I don't understand," Yoochun frowned, "Wasn't it Yunho hyung's plan to break up with Jaejoong hyung? Shouldn't he have expected that kind of pain?"

Clapping a hand on Yoochun's back, Changmin smiled.

"Hyung, those days when you thought that Junsu hyung didn't like you... Wasn't it also a pain you expected? Still, did it hurt any less?"

Staring at the man before him, Yoochun abruptly realised that Changmin was no longer the young maknae he knew three years ago. Changmin had grown. The young teenager he knew had matured into the man before him right now who was aware of the trials and tribulations of love.

"Changmin ah," Yoochun whispered, "How is it that your words always never fail to make sense?"

Changmin smiled.

"Cause I'm Tensai Shim Changmin." he replied, earning him a smack from Junsu who could not bear his narcissism. Immediately, Changmin retaliated, punching his hyung lightly on the shoulder. Yoochun laughed. Just like that, the two youngest members of the group had engaged in another of their infamous fights, with Changmin having the upper hand as always.

"I take back my words," Yoochun uttered as he stopped Changmin's fists with his right hand, "You are still the childish brat I always knew."

Changmin twitched his lips in disgust.

"And you are still the greasiest human being on the planet." he proclaimed.

Flinging Yoochun's hand away, Changmin turned, heading towards the door.

"Wait," Junsu shouted after him, "Where are you going?"

"The hospital." the maknae replied, "I think it's time we have a chat with our Yunho hyung, don't you think?"

"Just one question," Yoochun interrupted, "Why did Yunho's therapist ask him to write that letter in the first place?"

Changmin stopped in his tracks, causing both Yoochun and Junsu's breaths to stop simultaneously.

"The purpose is for him to forget the past and learn to move on."

Then, the door shut behind Changmin with a single click.

"Junsu ah."

Yoochun barely got the name out before Junsu dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Wait Junsu-"

"Hyung!" Junsu shrieked, snatching the letter out of Jaejoong's hands, "Don't read the letter."

Jaejoong looked up blearily.

"Junsu? What are you doing?"

"You," he panted, "The letter... You read everything already?"

Jaejoong's eyes dimmed. Nodding his reply, he got up shakily, heading towards the abandoned photographs on the floor. Then, giving Junsu a weak smile, Jaejoong picked the photographs up and walked into his room.

"Hyung."

Junsu watched him until Jaejoong was out of his sight. Turning to the letter in his hands, he was about to read the letter when he was whirled around, meeting eyes of ire.

"Chun," he whispered, knowing he was in serious trouble, "Don't be mad."

"I told you to wait didn't I?" Yoochun spoke, the arms around Junsu's waist tightening his hold.

"But I was afraid that-"

"Kim Junsu, do you really think that Changmin would let hyung read that letter if it really contained what he said?"

"But-"

"Su, please," Yoochun begged, "Yunho hyung deserves so much more faith than this right?"

"I just don't get it." Junsu threw his hands up in frustration. "I don't get what Yunho hyung is thinking at all. Why did he write this letter? What's the purpose of it? He already broke up with Jaejoong hyung through text didn't he? Then this letter should not exist at all!"

"Su."

"I'm worried, Yoochun ah," Junsu struggled to keep his tears at bay, "I'm worried if this is a correct decision. I'm worried that we're just making things worse. Will this all work out in the end?"

Yoochun said nothing, merely enveloping Junsu into a hug.

"It's not that I don't have faith in Yunho's love for Jaejoong," he whispered in his arms, "It's me who doesn't have faith. I don't have faith in the future, Chun."

"Here's where you're wrong, Junsu. Can't you see the answer that is already in your hands?"

"Answer?"

Junsu turned his eyes to the letter he held tightly in his palms. Unfolding it, his eyes started to water as he read on, regret and hope gripping him all at once.

Jaejoongie, Jaejoongie, Jaejoongie,

I'm allowed to call you that right? After all, you're never going to read this letter so it doesn't matter what I call you right? ^^ Anyway, today was the day I had my last session with my therapist. She told me that the only way to move on from the past was to let go of it, especially the people of the past. I laughed at her, Jaejoongie. She clearly doesn't understand her patient well. Doesn't she know? I never want to let go of the past. Never. Those years were the best years of my life, why would I want to forget them?

"But if you don't let go, you can't move on."

That's what the therapist kept saying to me. I felt kinda apologetic about it myself. It's not her fault our views differ greatly. It's not her fault that she doesn't know the importance of DongBangShinKi to me. It's not her fault she can't comprehend the meaning of YunJae. That's why I apologised to her, Jaejoongie, I felt like I should not make my problem hers.

Then she told me to write this letter. She said words are easier written than spoken so that's what I'm doing now. I love you Jaejoongie. I love you. I love Junsu. I love Yoochun. I love Changmin. I love Dong Bang Shin Ki. Yet I'm so sorry. The regret and bitterness is killing me. I destroyed this band. I destroyed all our dreams all because of a promise to my father. It's all because I'm afraid to stand up against him.

I'm sorry Jaejoongie. I should have been more brave. I should have more courage. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a fool. You always told me that you love me. You always told me that you were willing to fight tooth and nail for our love, but what have I told you? I told you I was afraid. I told you that I had no faith. I'm sorry Jaejoongie. I'm sorry for being so weak.

That's why I'm letting you leave now. That's why I hadn't been picking up your calls. I see your name on my phone that is vibrating on the table top now, Jaejoongie, but all I can do is to stare at the phone and will it to stop. It's been a year, Jaejoongie, yet you never give up. Can't you see that you deserve so much better than me?

This letter was supposed to help me let go of my past but I feel like my resolve has merely strengthened. Do you know why, Jaejoongie? That's because the therapist was wrong. The only way to move on from the past is not to let go but to hold on. If I can hold onto this pain from hurting you right now, surely nothing in the future will faze me? If I can hold onto this guilt for breaking DBSK up for nothing but my own selfish reasons, surely I can have a better grip on the future?

Sorry, Jaejoongie, sorry that you still have to listen to my troubles at times like this, even if it's in the form of a letter, even if the letter is never mailed. Still, thank you Jaejoongie. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for not changing. Thank you for taking Yoochun and Junsu away from me. Thank you for protecting them. Thank you.

I will always love you.

Your other half,

Jung Yunho

"Chun," Junsu murmured, the letter slipping from his hands, "This means that.."

"Yes," Yoochun agreed as he wiped away Junsu's tears, a smile present on his face, "This changes everything."

Author's Note: Yay! OMG. Finally an update. PROCRASTINATION GONE! Oh yeah~ :D Hope you enjoyed this update and thanks once again for your infinite patience. :) To be honest, there were a lot of times that I really did think of giving up on this fic but you readers always kept me hanging on no matter what so thank you for that! Let's make a YunJae reunion happen in Chapter 20~ ^^ Teehee!