“ Papa, don’t go, I will be good, don’t go, please don’t go !!” Once again, in thar rain, I see my Papa goes to the land that I won’t never find him. I shouted, I screamed, but I can’t stop this. Papa still goes, goes without looking back to me…

“ Mama, don’t go, please don’t, I won’t be a burden to you, I can take care of myself and you !! mama, don’t leave me, don’t leave me alone, I beg you !!” Mama looks at me with her sad eyes, and turns back. I try to hold on her, but it’s no use. She still walks far, far away from me. Leaves me stand there, alone, continues waiting for her days by days…

“ Mom, Dad, don’t go, don’t leave me and Daesung hyung. I will leave, don’t go, stay here with Daesung hyung, I will go, let me go, let me go instead you, please !!” With the gentle smiles in their face, Mom and Dad walks pass the door, and that the journey they can’t come back anymore !! I try to stop them, but can’t !! Can’t !! Can’t !!

Everything pass me like an old film. They all went. All left me alone. Although I beg, although I did everything, they still left me. Why ? So cold, so cold… I’m feeling so cold. I need a warmth rihgt now, I need a person can stay with me, I need a person won’t leave me !! Papa, mama, dad, mom, why did you love me, but still went ?? I don’t understand at all, why ?? Who can love me ? Who can forever stay by my side ?? I’m so tired, so tired. Living alone in this confused life, I don’t have strength anymore. If you can, take me there with you, maybe I can be happier…

“ Seungri…Seungri…” Who ? Who is calling my name ?? Who ?

“ Seungri…Seungri…I love you..” This voice…this warmth…Ji Yong ? Ji Yong ? Is it you ?

And at the far, I can see a familiar shadow, standing there with a mischievous smile like always… Is it real ? Is it real Ji Yong ? Does he come for me ?? Without thinking anymore, I run to him. Yes, I still have Ji Yong, I still have that man that I love very much !! Ji Yong ah, wait for me !!

Just when I’m near to him, suddenly, a light appears and it rushed into Ji Yong !! No, run, Ji Yong, run !! I shout with all I may, but Ji Yong doesn’t move. He’s still standing there, wait for the light touches him. And all I can see, is the image of Ji Yong flies and falls down like a broken puppet !! Blood, so much blood bleed form Ji Yong’s body !! Don’t, don’t, please don’t again, please !! Don’t take him away from me, not him, not this man !! God !! I run fast to him and want to carry him to hospital !! I won’t let him die !! But…when I hug him, with the last words, he forever sleeps in my arm… : “ I love you…”

“ NO, NO, NO, JI YONG!! NO, DON’T LEAVE ME ! NO, NO, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU !!! DON’T !!”

And that when I wake up. Luckily, it’s a nightmare…again… Since the day I left Ji Yong, I have always had this kind of dream, every single night, it’s all the image of Ji Yong… Maybe I miss him so much, and God wants to warn me not to make a mistake again ??

Yes, I left Ji Yong, left everything back and run to where they can’t find him. The day Ji Yong had a sign to wake up, I decided to leave. I can’t bring any bad thing to him, he must live happily. And I stay beside him, it’s just a misery… Still… Leaving him, is really a pain for me. I don’t know how important he is to me till the day I can’t see him anymore. His smile, his childish action, his warmth eyes, his gentle love he gives to me…all is carved deep into my heart, becomes a tattoo that forever can’t heal… I miss him, miss him like crazy, miss him so much..it has times that I want to forget anything, just want to go back, to hold on him again, to see him again…but..that dream…if I stay by his side, one day, it will happen !! I would rather let me die inside, than see him die in my hand…

It’s so cold outside. Yes, it’s already December, the month of the beautiful but yet, very lonely winter… I have run to the country, that is very far from Seoul, I guess no one can find me here. Four months, four months has passed, and I wonder that has Ji Yong recovered his health totally ? Is he now live happily ? Does he now..still remember me ? In my heart, although it says that it’ll be better if he can forget me, but deep, deep inside, all I wish that he can give me a little place in his heart, just a little, so…he can remember, that it used to have a person names Seungri that once passed his life…just like that…enough for me…

I step outside the house, and in my eyes, it’s all the scene in white colour. Snow is falling down, the snowflakes looks like flowers that sent by sky… I reach out to take a snowflake in my hand, and it smelt to water immediately. Beautiful..but yet so fragile… Love’s also like that. It disappears so soon, although I hold it dear in my hand, one day, it’ll be destroyed without trace… So, I will live the life of the loner, to let the one I love happy, forever happy… But, some how, it’s so cruel, why is it so cruel to me ? I just want a simple life, beside Ji Yong, watch him, love him…nothing more, nothing..so… Oh, something is falling down from my eyes…It’s so hurt, Ji Yong, so hurt, where are you? I miss you…

“ Seungri, I’m here !” A gentle voice calls me, I turn back to see, and there he is, Ji Yong’s standing at the far… Oh, am I still dreaming ?...Yes, of course it’s a dream, Ji Yong can’t find me here…

“ Seungri ? Why are you just standing there ? I’m here, are you happy ?” Ah, he smiles, that smiles I miss it so much…But, I won’t run to him anymore, I just stand there and watch him, that way, maybe the dream will bw a little longer, so I can see him more…

“ Aizz, why did you waer so little in the winter ?? Idiot, you will get sick, and I will be so sad because of that, you know that ??” Ji Yong is running to me, oh, this dr