chapter fortythree 

 luna's limit

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Cold. That was the climate that always seem to surround her nowadays. Her blankets wrapped around her all day without her getting up.  She blinked her eyes at her ceiling. Her tears seem to have all dried up because they were refusing to come out of her eyes. Luna never once, in her life, would have thought she would be lifeless and sobbing till days end because of a boy.

She thought about it again and paused her thoughts. Was he really just a boy to her? No, he wasn't just someone she had had a fling with. He had become her best friend over time; he was always calling her and asking her to hang out with him. He would always buy her ice cream and take her to carnivals even when she didn't ask. He would always about being a nerd, but never once said he was embarrassed of being seen with her. He was always there for her when she felt down and lonely. He was always there for her when she was laughing so hard that tears sprung out of her eyes.

He had become a family, for her to return home to every night, for her to wake up to every morning. He made her breakfast on the most random days. He would help her study even when she didn't need help. He had skipped football practice when she needed someone to drive her home. He would stay up all night to babysit her on the phone when she couldn't sleep. He would understand when she said she didn't feel like talking to him.

He had become her first love. He would buy her needed materials during her menstrual cycles and she would become embarrassed that he did. He would run in the rain to the convenient store to buy her snacks when she was hungry.  He would let her sit in the passenger seat when no one else had the privilege to. He would peck kisses on her forehead before she feel asleep. He would hold her hand when she was scared or nervous. He would not bring anything materialistic on Valentine's Day, but instead, would bring her to amusement parks and give her the time of her life.

He had become her first for everything. The first guy she rode in a car with. The first guys she had dinner with and counted it as a date. The first guy she went to the movies with, without any other people tagging along. The first guy to give her his jacket when it was raining. The first person who took notice of her and only her, not Krystal. The first person to treat her as if she was a precious porcelain doll and would break when dropped. He was the first person who understood how it felt to be a reject.

He was all that to her, and it pained her to think that later on, he could be all that to someone else. She couldn't picture it, no matter how hard she tried. His arms wrapped around another girl while going on a ferris wheel. His face getting stuffed with cotton candy as another girl shoved it into his face. His hard front pinned onto another girl's back as he taught her how to swing a bat. His fingers burning as he attempted to cook for another girl on a Saturday night. Another girl sticking a bandage on his face from being cut. The sounds that would leave his lips as he was kissing another girl.

It made her wonder, how on earth could someone be all this, all at once and had so much impact on her? She remembered when Amber had warned her to stay away from love, because it would hurt her in the worst kind of pain, far worse than any kind of physical pain.

"Do not, in any way, trust people with intentions of loving you. They would bring you to art galleries, amusement parks, and their home. They would tell you how incredible you are without hesistating. They would would give you butterflies with just a glance. They would leave your breath with a hitch as there skin comes in contact with yours. They would kiss you in every beautiful place and leave you wanting, craving for more, but you will never be fulfilled once you got a taste. And when they leave you, you would finally be able to understand why storms are named after humans."

She held up her phone and stared at the call button next to L.Joe's name. She was hesitant. It wasn't because she didn't want to talk to him, she did. She just wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to her. Did he even remember her? It was now or never.

She clicked and waited. Every ring she heard through the phone sped up her heart. She couldn't help but have her expectations and hopes raise her roof. It felt like she was living her whole life for this moment. For him to pick up and tell her that he loves her and everything was all right. 

When he didn't pick up, she finally understood why storms were named after people.

The leave you wrecked and broken beyond repair.

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 author's note 

» It's almost winter break!!! xDD