“Should we knock?”

The soft spoken inquiry caused Amina’s heart to pound.  Should they knock?  Or should she just let them in?  The house key remained buried deep inside her purse but who knew if it still worked?  Rarely nowadays did she question the possibility.  The metal trinket was merely sentimental now.  A little piece of the past that she held onto.

Only for the memories.

Amina acknowledged Youngbae briefly and glanced jerkily away.  But the roaring turmoil she felt within only intensified as her gaze swept over the familiar horizon.  The unkempt lawn.  The overgrown bushes.  The dead trees.  The disheveled state of the deteriorating mansion pricked at her conscience and made her grow visibly more upset.   

Pure anguish swirled in the depths of Amina’s haunted brown eyes. 

The sight hit her hard. 

To any passerby, these were minor, mayhap even irrelevant matters.  But to her, each small detail came like tiny stabs to the chest.  It was disheartening to find the maintenance of her parents’ once beautiful home left to the wayside.  The entrance needed a clean sweep and her mother’s pride and joy flowerbeds had become overrun with weeds.  Releasing a heavy sigh, Amina swallowed convulsively while she stared at the illuminating call button.  It taunted her – urging her to leave.  To run away and never look back.  She had no business being there.

He gently squeezed her hand.

Blinking out of her troublesome thoughts, Amina took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell.

No one was answering.

Youngbae chewed on his tongue and peered about, critically eyeing the silky cobwebs and matted dry leaves which dotted the foyer.  It seemed no one had taken care of the small space in months.  Had he not heard the doorbell go off, he would’ve sworn the front door was no longer serviceable.  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, he thought to himself.  Youngbae glanced over his shoulder and then completed a swift double-take.  He released a short huff of air.  “Jagiya…” Youngbae tenderly drawled, eyeing his wife’s bowed head.  Angling his body halfway towards Amina’s smaller frame, Youngbae softly tugged on her hand.  “You can’t hide behind me.”

Amina pressed her forehead against his shoulder, burying her nose deep inside his armpit.  Another anxious sigh escaped from her lips as she mumbled something unintelligently.

“Mwuh?”  His eyebrows rose.

She lifted her head and stared morosely at him.  “Why do I feel like we’re about to repeat history?”

He studied her quietly from over his shoulder, recalling the same memories he could see clearly written on her bleak face.  An overwhelming feeling of protectiveness consumed him.  Turning around completely, Youngbae took both of Amina’s hands inside his.  “Promise me something,” he said.

She knitted her brows.

“Promise me…” Youngbae murmured, “…you won’t let her get to you.”

“Bae-yah.”

“Promise me you won’t dwell on her words or actions.”  He looked past the blooming concern in his wife’s eyes and leaned in, lowering his voice to a soft lull.  “I didn’t realize what you asked of me before.  But now I know.”  The light in his eyes shifted.  “Now I’m asking you to do the same.”

“Bae-yah-”

“Promise me.”

Face upturned, Amina gazed deep into Youngbae’s eyes.  She could hear the determination laced in his baritone voice and decipher the intent behind his words.  He was reminding her – preparing her for what they both knew was bound to come.  But too much had occurred since then and now.  And any tolerance she yielded towards her parents had long been stripped away.  There was nothing she could tell herself that would make sense of their abandonment.  Nothing she wanted to hear from her mother that would make everything feel right again.  The wounds still cut deep and the festering pain still lingered.  How did he expect her to act so indifferent?

The deadbolt on the front door unlocked with a loud clang.

Amina broke off their gaze and inhaled sharply as she side-stepped behind Youngbae.  He stiffened in anticipation and the muscles around his jaw tensed up.  Taking a half-step forward, Youngbae protectively shielded Amina with his body and watched as the door slowly creaked open.  Some of the tautness around his shoulders dissipated when he came face-to-face with the elderly woman.

“Annyeonghasaeyo,” Youngbae dipped his head politely.

“Annyeonghasaeyo,” repeated a perplexed Mrs. Oh.  She didn’t recognize him.  “Is there something I can help you with…?”  She spotted a movement behind him and her voice trailed off.  “Miss?”  Mrs. Oh whispered, her leathery face crinkling up with pure delight.  Sweeping past Youngbae, she opened her arms and engulfed Amina in a bear hug.  “Oh miss!  Why didn’t you tell us you were visiting?”  She squeezed the young girl tightly against her portly frame.  “We missed you!”

A gush of wind escaped from Amina’s lungs as she hugged the loyal housekeeper in return.  She could smell the scent of spices that clung to the old woman’s clothing and the hint of chrysanthemums that lingered on her skin.  Too overcome with the raw jolt of emotions, Amina couldn’t speak at first.  Instead, she stared vulnerably into Youngbae’s solemn eyes while her own vision lost itself to an oncoming spurt of hot tears. 

“I-I missed you too,” Amina choked out, her nose turning red.  Her world spun on its axis and she sniffed hard – smiling brokenly before easing away.  “We wanted to surprise you,” Amina mumbled pathetically, her face flushed with high color. 

“And that you did!” chastised Mrs. Oh.  She grinned toothily at the petite girl’s protruding stomach, still in disbelief.  “Come in, come in!”  She waved the young couple onward and trailed happily behind them.  “How is the baby doing?  When I heard from Mr. Ohm that you were expecting, I couldn’t believe the news!  And then I remembered seeing you at the hospital that other day…”

Swinging a free arm over his wife’s petite shoulders, Youngbae tucked Amina close to his side and slowly crossed the threshold.  He could feel her body tremble quietly against him as she struggled to maintain self-control.  He paused – re-securing his hold as she buried the side of her face against his chest and dug her fingers fitfully into his back.

Grim-faced, he held her tighter.

The sounds of their footsteps echoed against the marble tiled floors. 

Amina barely registered the woman’s ramblings as they progressed further inside the mansion.  After allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim interior, she gained enough composure to ease away from Youngbae and circle the main landing.  The smell of home brought on the sting of nostalgia.  Lemon.  Wood.  Honey.  She took it all in as her eyes absorbed the past. 

Everything appeared to still be intact. 

The sweeping grand staircase.  The collected artwork that lined the massive walls.  The imported rugs.  Everything was all there except for the potted plants her mother kept around the home.  She squinted through the darkness.

Searching.

Silence engulfed the air.

With a start, Amina realized Mrs. Oh and Youngbae were waiting for her response.  “Ah, neh,” Amina nodded hesitantly to the housekeeper.  “Pregnancy has treated me well.”  She gave a small smile while Mrs. Oh fawned over the news.  “Ajumma,” Amina broke in.  “Why are all the curtains drawn?”

The smile on the elderly woman’s face wavered.  “Errm…” Mrs. Oh mumbled.  “Madam wanted it that way.”

Amina frowned to herself.

“Where is she now?”

Both women turned at Youngbae’s inquiry. 

“Upstairs.  In her bedroom,” replied the housekeeper.  “Where she’s been keeping since hoejang-sshi’s passing-”  A pained expression slashed across Amina’s face, causing Mrs. Oh to abruptly cut off.  She watched helplessly as the young girl turned away, tucking her arms protectively around herself, before wandering off towards the living room.  Feeling immensely guilty, the worker mentally scolded herself for candidly speaking outright.  Oh, how she wished things were back to normal once again!  Mrs. Oh anxiously wrung her hands and lowered her voice and spoke apologetically to Youngbae.  “Madam doesn’t come out too often, I’m afraid.”

Youngbae swallowed hard while as he watched Amina walk off.  Her movements were stiff and her shoulders remained hunched – thwarting some inner cold bitterness she couldn’t defeat.  After observing for a few seconds, a tick started to form on the left side of Youngbae’s cheek.  He forced himself to look away.  Seeing his wife upset only served to make himself grow upset. 

“Well… I’m afraid she’ll need to start,” Youngbae sternly advised, “unless she wants to find herself living in a pile of rubble.”  He turned towards the elderly employee, his voice broking no argument.  “I noticed at least three or four repairs that could have easily been taken care of on our walk up to the door.  Who is in charge while your mistress hides away?”

The authoritative tone made Mrs. Oh forget her faux pas and straighten her back.  “You are referring to the meager staff on hand?”  She grimaced tightly.  “We manage as much as we can.”

Meager?  He narrowed his eyes in concern.  “Where are the others?”

“It is only Mr. Ohm and I.”  Mrs. Oh lifted her chin and spoke confidently, unhampered by Youngbae’s directness.  She was used to the brusquely tone – thrived off of it.  It was the main reason why she lasted so long in the Eun household.  “The others have all left.”

“Left?”

“She ran them all away.”

He stared at her incredulously.

“In a fit of rage, Madam came home one day and told everyone to leave.  At first they all balked, knowing what a tyrant she usually can be.”  The corners of Mrs. Oh’s mouth turned down impudently.  “But when they didn’t get their paychecks the following week, it sealed the deal for them.”

Youngbae cursed underneath his breath.

“There just wasn’t enough money.  We couldn’t keep everyone on payroll and also pay for this place,” the housekeeper briefly explained.  “However, money aside, I believe it was only a matter of time before the lazy louts left on their own.”  She tucked her hands behind her back and rocked smartly on her heels.  “Too many new faces.  This place needed a good cleansing.”

“So why do you two stay?”

She stopped completely and looked at him like he was an imbecile.  “This is our home,” Mrs. Oh stressed matter-of-factly.  “Mr. Ohm and I have lived here all of our lives.  We have nowhere else to go.”

Strained with the bit of news, Youngbae raked his fingers through his hair.  Just as he was about to question the state of the household once more, a loud crack of curtains from the living area caused the pair to jerk their heads around towards the sound.  Bright sunlight illuminated the massive room, nearly blinding them from the hall.

“Uh, agasshi?”  Mrs. Oh called out, worry lining her round face.  “Please don’t overtax yourself!”

“I’ll see to her,” Youngbae briskly interjected.  He started moving past the old woman but turned at the last second.  “Please tell your mistress that I request a meeting with her immediately.”

Mrs. Oh bobbed her head.

“And when you are finished, please hire more help-”

“But the money-”

“Will be taken care of by the estate.”  He could tell she was confused by the look on her face.  The light in Youngbae’s eyes softened.  “As trustee, I will speak to Park byunhosanim about what can be done to amend the trust.”  He continued, a hint of desperation in his voice, “But ajumoni, I don’t know what is needed in order to take care of a home this size.  I assume someone of your position and tenure is knowledgeable?”

“More than knowledgeable,” Mrs. Oh gleamed with pride.

His lips twitched.  The way she puffed up reminded him of a peacock.  “Arasseo,” Youngbae nodded approvingly.  “Please see to it that everything is maintained and brought back to working order.  And I’ll make sure the trust is changed so that more funds are brought in.  When my wife and child visit,” he watched as the elderly woman’s ample chest swelled up again with importance, “I want this place to be as welcoming as possible.  I don’t want Amina-sshi to worry that things aren’t being taken care of while she’s away.”

“Neh.”  A sheen of tears glistened in the elderly woman’s happy eyes.  “I’ll make sure everything is in top condition for the next visit.”  Mrs. Oh started walking backwards towards the stairs, bowing periodically as she went.  “Doryunnim will not have to worry about a thing!”

Youngbae smiled faintly as he watched Mrs. Oh scrambled up the flight of stairs.  Within a matter of seconds, the housekeeper disappeared around the corner and he made his way towards the living area.  When he reached the massive carpeted room, silence greeted him.  Silence and light.  Little did he realize, the girl he had been searching for was no longer there.

“Jagi?”

Youngbae squinted through the bright sunlight.

“Over here.”

He strained his ears and blinked again, disturbing puffs of dust bunnies as they continued to swirl around in the air.  To his right, grand window panes were exposed, and he could see his car parked outside in the winding driveway.  Taking a cautious step further in, Youngbae checked hard left and found Amina opposite a dark corner standing next to a tall bookcase.  She was studying something intently, a distant fond memory in her warm eyes.

“What are you looking at?” 

Amina glanced up with a beckoning shy look on her face.  She cradled an old picture frame in her hands.  He closed in.  “Is that you?”  Youngbae touched the photo and examined the small toddler with tapered haircut in yellow rompers.  his lips lightly, he playfully grinned.  “You look like a boy.”

“Yah,” Amina chided without heat, nudging her shoulder into his chest.  She smiled and Youngbae chuckled deeply, wrapping his arms affectionately around her. 

“A cute boy,” he swiftly corrected, brushing his lips against her cheek.  When Amina returned the frame back to the shelf, his eyes darted to the other photographs nearby.  “Are those all you?”

“Neh.”

Straightening, Youngbae looked about.

There was a picture of a young girl smiling in her leotard at dance practice, several solo pageant press photos, and one graduation photo with a somber Amina decked out in full regalia holding a bouquet of flowers.  In the midst of all this were trophies and crowns she had amassed from pageantries and academic medals she had earned throughout grade school.  Youngbae swallowed slightly as his eyes traversed from shelf to shelf.  He savored his own collection of awards from over the years, but this?  He picked out the date on the oldest plaque he could see and quickly did the math in his head. 

He furrowed his brows.

She couldn’t have been more than four.  Five?

“These should be boxed up.”  Amina reached for the only family picture displayed, her voice laced with melancholy.  It was from her first dance recital and she stood beaming next to her father.  She remembered that day.  He had taken a break from work and was still in his three-piece suit.  Quietly, Amina turned the frame onto its face – closing the standing hinge behind it. 

Youngbae reached out and covered her hand with his, stalling further movement.

Their eyes met.

“What do you two think you’re doing?!”

Startled by the sudden outburst, the couple turned around.  The hard glint in Solada’s eyes faltered the moment she met her daughter’s cautious gaze.  She readjusted the grip on her gold satin robe, tightening a gnarled fist over thrumming chest.  “J-just because you control the estate you think you can barge into my home whenever you want?”  Her nostrils flared with ill-concealed contempt and her voice shook slightly.  “Have you no respect?”

Amina stiffened.

Youngbae glanced hesitantly at his wife before addressing the formidable woman.  “This was my idea.”  He took a small step forward and bowed deeply from his waist.  “Amina-sshi wasn’t aware of my plans until we arrived.  I came today because I wanted to speak to you.”

Solada’s eyes widened marginally.

“Privately.”

Her gaze flew towards Amina.

Angling his chin over his shoulder, Youngbae quietly address