Safe.

Youngbae always made her feel safe, even when they were at odds with one another.  Even when he yelled or became so thoroughly upset, Amina never once entertained ideas that he would go over the edge or endanger her in any physical manner.  He had this quiet inner control that kept his passion in check, good or bad.  His iron-clad will was much ingrained and apart of him like the blood that flowed through his veins or the air that he breathed.  So although she could feel his body shudder with suppressed anger beneath her cheek, she knew he would never hurt her.  She trusted him completely with her body.

She only wished she could do the same with her heart.

Amina felt the steel grip of Youngbae’s arms tighten around her lower back, pressing her more intimately up against him.  He absentmindedly rubbed his chin along her temple, his five o’clock shadow inadvertently scraping the delicate skin.  His breathing was deep and heavy, the emotions still bubbling high at the surface.  Her heart sang quietly along with his as it beat rapidly against her ribcage.  She soaked in his warmth; until slowly, her body began to relax within the shelter of his arms.  Shortly after, his body reciprocated and the tension in his lean frame also eased away.  If only they could stay this way forever.

“Jagi…” he murmured, the sound rough and foreign to her ears.  Amina pinched her eyebrows together in pain, realizing for the first time tonight the amount of agony that must have afflicted Youngbae to cause such strain in his voice.  “Let’s go home,” he whispered.

Amina nodded, her cheek caressing his chest softly.  With great reluctance, she straightened away from him, keeping her eyes down and averted.  She didn’t want him to know how much she hated herself right now.  She never intended for Youngbae to find out about her personal struggles like this.  He already had enough on his plate and didn’t need her problems added to it.

As she turned away, he reached over and intertwined his fingers within hers.  It startled Amina momentarily, causing her to pause and look down at their clasped hands.  She started to protest, tugging slightly away, but in that instance Youngbae began walking towards the others and left her no choice but to follow.  Other than their earlier embrace or a quick shoulder squeeze at group dinners, they usually kept their displays of affection private for when they were alone.  Somehow, maybe it was the loneliness she felt during her breakdown, but somehow… holding Youngbae’s hand, felt more intimate now than she ever remembered.  Amina felt heat rise up her neck and creep along her cheeks as they came closer to the trio. 

Youngbae stopped mere yards away from them.

Amina could see Jiyong, Hanna, and Daesung’s concerned gazes on her, the worry evident in the crease of their brows and the strained lines around their mouths.  She gave them a weak smile of reassurance, partly stressed out with the knowledge that they knew about the depth of her plight and partly stressed out by the heat of Youngbae’s hand as it radiated up along her arm.  She lowered her head.

“Hey,” Jiyong jerked his chin forward in the direction of Youngbae.  He tossed his keys in the air and watched his friend catch the set with one hand.  “Take my car.  I’ll grab a ride back with Daesung.”

Youngbae nodded to them.  “Alright.”  He singled out Daesung briefly.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  With a last glance over his shoulder, he started to pull Amina away.

“Mimi!“ Hanna exclaimed, her eyes still full of worry.  When Amina looked her way, Hanna continued.  “I’ll come by tomorrow to drop off your things.”

Amina looked at her in confusion.

“The clothes.”

“Ah,” Amina nodded.  “Neh.”  She had forgotten about her little shopping excursion from earlier that day. 

“And if you need anything, call me.”  Hanna rambled, watching Amina nod once more.  “And let me know if you still want to come over… and see my parents.”  She couldn’t stop herself from talking.  She didn’t want to see her cousin leave just yet.

“Neh,” Amina quietly replied.

Youngbae looked back at Hanna with an air of disapproval, his pressed lips turned down.  He leaned over and whispered into Amina’s ear.  “You’re in no state to visit anyone.  We don’t have to go.”

Her eyes trailed up his collarbone, along his strong hard jaw line, until she reached his smoky brown eyes.  She could see concern there, but it didn’t do anything to change her resolve.  “I’m fine,” Amina said.

His eyes narrowed on her face.

“If you want to still marry me, you need to make an effort to visit my uncle and aunt first.  As a courtesy,” Amina bit out.

The quiet reprimand took Youngbae off guard, causing him to backtrack.  He could see the fire that banked in her eyes.  Suddenly, he wondered how he could ever have mistaken her quiet demeanor for frailty.  “Alright,” Youngbae solemnly replied.  “I’ll change my plans and we can go tomorrow.”

Quiet surprise overcame her features.  Amina searched his eyes, seeing the commitment there. 

“Mwuh?” Youngbae asked, sensing a change in her.

She shook her head delicately.  “Nothing.”

Slowly, she turned back to Hanna and informed her to set up the dinner.  They exchanged nods and she was about to turn away when she caught Daesung’s gaze.  “Sunday?” she prompted him.

“Neh,” Daesung nodded.

Amina bowed her head in return and started walking, a confused Youngbae in tow.  They reached the elevators before he stated the obvious question on his mind.  “What’s Sunday?”

She glanced up expectantly at him, a slight smile on her lips.  “Has it been that long for you too?”  Her eyes sparkled momentarily as they stepped into the lift.

He quickly pieced the puzzle together and surmised, “I could go with you.”

Amina looked up knowingly at him.  “Aren’t you busy?”

She had him there.  “Neh, but I can always make time for church on Sundays.  They used to block off my schedule so I could attend mass, but lately…”

“It’s alright,” Amina interrupted.  “I don’t know how often I’ll be going.”  She shrugged sheepishly.  “I haven’t been the best at remembering Sabbath these past several years.  I’ll probably be struck down by lightening as soon as I enter the building.”

He twisted his lips wryly.

“Daesung thought it would help, so I’m just going with him,” she continued.

Youngbae nodded.  He still had no idea what it was going to help her with, but the more she continued to talk, the more confident she seemed of herself.  Her face no longer seemed as pale nor did her eyes appear bleak.  Instead, there was quiet determination vibrating throughout her body.  It was weak and could easily be broken down, but it was there nonetheless.  He took solace in that for now.

They reached the first floor and broke apart, with Youngbae walking out first.  Amina faintly acknowledged the security guard they passed while they detoured through the lobby and out the front doors.  She could see Jiyong’s white Bentley parked out front and another black van stationed directly behind it.  It looked familiar… like a YG company van.

“Where’s Daesung’s car?”

Youngbae jiggled the keys in his hand and glanced back at her.  He noticed her preoccupation and followed her gaze towards the black van.  He slightly nodded to the driver behind the wheel.  “Oh…” He his lips lightly.  “Dae… he doesn’t drive.”

Amina furrowed her eyebrows.

“Neh, ever since the car accident, he doesn’t drive anymore.  A driver will take him wherever he needs to go.”  He continued around to the driver’s side door and unlocked the car.  “Ready?”

Amina didn’t know why, but for some reason, the tidbit of information didn’t sit well with her.  She met Youngbae’s inquiring gaze and nodded briefly before getting inside the car.

Hot shower. 

Food.

Amina felt her spirits immensely lift after her basic necessities were taken care of.  In her satin cami and short pajama set, Amina sat idly on the leather sectional with a throw blanket covering half of her legs, watching Youngbae pace the length of the living room as he spoke into his phone. 

“Can’t I just shift that slot with… Neh.”

Boss hopped onto the edge