It wasn't supposed to end like this.

That was the only thought that kept running through his mind whenever he looked back and remembered the times they shared.  Youngbae flipped through the pictures he had saved on his phone as he waited for the others to finish getting ready for the variety show later that afternoon.  It had been over a year since he had last seen her.  Almost half a year since she last severed communication with him.  But the memories still hurt like hell.   

He pinched the bridge on his nose and closed his eyes shut.

Looking back, he knew it was because their relationship was too "new".  Too "raw" to handle the long distance.  It had started off fine.  He received a few emails from her in the beginning.  A few ramblings about her adjusting to life in America, the food... the people.  And he would respond when he got the chance.  When he wasn't in the studio, or preparing for a performance, or working on side projects.  But the opportunities started to come far and few in-between.  His schedule got busier when Big Bang decided to release a new album following the success of Jiyong's tour and Daesung's album.  And then she... well, her internship schedule got so busy, she didn't even have an opportunity to get that phone she promised she'd get.

And so it goes.

He received the final email about six months in... after two weeks of silence, which basically said she felt like their relationship was more about missing each other, rather than being with each other.  And how miserable she was because of it.

So he did the honorable thing and told her he agreed. 

He agreed.

.  Why did he agree?

They agreed... to be friends.  He twisted his lips in disgust.  He still hated that word.  After all the they had been through... it had come down to this.  Back to square one.

He often dreamt of her.  Wondered what she was doing.  Wondered if she was eating well and sleeping well.  There were times he itched to pick up the phone and seek her out... but then he would remember that she didn't have a number anymore.  That she cut herself off from him and the rest of her family. 

He worried about her. 

He sighed.

He worried too much.

Youngbae looked up as several stylists ran around the room.  He caught Jiyong's knowing gaze on him.

With one last longing look, Youngbae powered down his smart phone and tucked it away in his pocket.  He stood up and headed behind stage where all the crewmen were running through the last preparations before the show started.

Big Bang had been on a constant round of promotional venues lately.  It had been over a year since their Alive world tour ended.  Since then, Jiyong had finished his own mini-world tour and Daesung had successfully promoted his solo Japanese album.  Currently, Big Bang was promoting their new album, while he... well, he was still working on pushing out his third solo album.  It seemed he would never get it pushed out.  Damn Oracle... Seemed she was right.  He didn't get his album pushed out.  And he didn't get to keep his girl.

He sighed.

"Yah!"

Youngbae turned around and found Jiyong motioning him over.  He walked over to Jiyong and stepped behind the curtains. "Mwuh?"

"Bro, you gotta snap out of it."

Youngbae furrowed his eyebrows, feigning confusion.

"This love-sick .  It's got to stop," Jiyong demanded, his eyes broking no argument.  "Look, we're hitting NB tonight.  You can't stay back this time."

He shook his head.  "I'm not in the mood to hang out tonight," argued Youngbae.

"What are you going to do?" challenged Jiyong.  "Stay in your dorm?  Go over old photos?"  He scoffed.  "You guys broke it off last summer... and her internship ended in January.  Instead of coming back, she found a way to prolong her stay for another year.  That should mean something to you."  He narrowed his eyes at Youngbae.  "She's over you.  Otherwise, she would have been back by now."

Youngbae clenched his jaw against the ensuing pain he felt inside.  The words Jiyong uttered weren't new to him.  He had thought the same when he found out she wasn't returning.  And it had cut him to the core.  Because a part of him... a small part of him, still hoped that she would return and come back to him.

"I'm sorry man," Jiyong apologized, his eyes full of regret.  He hated seeing his best friend down like this. 

Youngbae pressed his lips firmly together and nodded. "Alright... I'm in."

Although it was a blistery February wintery night, NB was packed as usual.  But the boys didn't seem to mind because they always had their own section roped off to themselves.  The drinks were flowing in abundance and Youngbae held nothing back as he let loose with the rest of them, enjoying himself for the first time in a long while.  Everyone was together again... just like old times.

He sat down on one of the nearest sectionals and watched as a few back-up dancers took turns "climbing" the stripper pole nearby.  He felt a dip in the seat to his right and glanced over.  "Hyung!"  Seungri yelled over the music.

Youngbae quirked an eyebrow.

"There's some girls over there.  I'm going to bring them over."

Youngbae shook his head. 

"C'mon hyung.  They just want to talk," a blurry eyed Seungri protested. He motioned the security guard to let the females through.  Like a small herd of cattle, the girls came through single file. 

Youngbae sighed, feeling slightly annoyed.  "Seungri... if you're going to do it anyway, don't ask me next time."

"Well, hyung... if I did it without asking... I might get in trouble," quipped Seungri.

Youngbae narrowed his eyes