I need You
Heartbreaker
"Yixing!"
i run to him, he looks dirty and sick. i start to shake him, for him to wake up. but the smell of vomit was strong, he raises his head slowly "Luhan?" i nod "are we going to escape?" his been waiting for me "no, not yet Yixing. but soon, im working here now. i'll soon have the money" he pushes me alittle "what?" i feel a mad tone in his voice
"soon we would be free...okay Yixing"
"you what?" i couldnt reply to him, i guess im alittle afraid "get out!" "but Yi..." he pushes me again "i said get out!" i didnt want to argue with him, so i leave. i close the door behind me, and thats when i hear Yixing sobbing. he was crying, for me. i want to go inside and tell him i'll be alright. theres nothing that can break me, but i dont.
i kiss my hand, and i press it on the door. hoping in a silly way, he would feel it.
It was time, Baekhyun knock on my door and told me to dress. but as i was putting the suit, i feel power. you know in those movies like 007, always suits and pretending to be someone else, to catch the bad guys. is it that what im doing? protecting Yixing from the bad guys. that makes me smile for a moment, but the movie references made me remember Jongin.
and that made me remember Kyungsoo, and our friendship, the one i would probably lose when they find out. how far, is to far? theres another knock on the door, and Baekhyun saying 'one minute' i feel like im in a backstage getting ready to perform. i look at the mirror, i use my fingers as a comb. i put my bangs to cover my foreheard.
i fix my tie, and i leave the room. i want to go to Yixing room before i go to the room where the rest of the host are. but i decide not to, knowing his probably mad at me. i take a breath, i have never being so nervous in my life. even when i first met Yixing, i wasnt this nervous. theres always the first for everything right?
i open the door and there was alot of host. more than i thought, Tao wasnt around he was probably helping Taemin or something. everyone has their own clique, but as members move aside, i see him. it takes me back to when i first enter the underworld. he looks different, not the same guy i was trying to help in the restroom.
Yixing, locks his eyes on me. and for a moment the people around us didnt matter. we stay quiet, he didnt move neither did i. his eyes didnt look mad, he didnt look like the addict people were talking about. because for this moment, Yixing was back "hey" Chanyeol taps my shoulder, i turn to see him then back at Yixing. but he was already gone.
everyone was leaving, it was time. and the nervous feeling came back "Jongdae told me you might be nervous, so im here to help" i nod "so the first thing... if you see someone alone is for two reasons. 1, they are new and they are probably more nervous than you. 2, their host went to get something" "and how would i know which one is which?"
"well you dont, but you have to get close to them, the other thing is...... Luhan are you ?" i look at Chanyeol not saying anything. afraid he might judge me or something, but he smirks knowing the truth "and i bet you dont want to have , with random strangers" i nod "then try not to look so innocent" Chanyeol takes me to a mirror and fixes my hair.
"that hair style makes you look young and naive, lets push everything back" Chanyeol grabs water and wets my hair, and with his two hands he pushes my hair back. the feeling of his fingers going through my hair, didnt feel right. he finishes and i did look kinda different "much better, and other thing pretend you are an expert" he pats my
the old me, the real me would of hit him until he apologize. but i just let it go, knowing that people out there are probably going to do the same thing
"lets go"
we arrive downstairs and everyone had someone. Chanyeol didnt stand by me, he was to happy with a person. it makes me wonder if thats even his real smile, or a fake one, that he had perfected. i start to look for Tao, or any familiar face. my eyes wonder around and i see Yixing, with someone heading to his room. i want to scream. i want to stop them.
but i look away, i prefer to make a story up. maybe Yixing is taking him to the restroom, or that person wonders how the rooms look. the lies start to help me, into i stop thinking about it.
"hi, um.. im new here can you just be nice?" he chuckles at his last words. i look at him, his tall, blonde hair. he looks so serious, to be honest he looks like someone that comes to this places "is that the way you want me to act?" he looks at me weird "what?" was i allow to ask questions? im to nervous to remember "im Luhan, who do you want me to be?"
"hi, im Kris and i have no idea what your talking about"
"you are new to this place?"
"thats what im trying to tell you"
i smile "im sorry, im new too"
"you are?" oh i dont think i should have said that "well no, i was just saying that so you dont feel bad" "oh, thanks?" yes it work "so why come here on the first place?" he chuckles "um my friend, he told me to come. to have fun, so i did" "wheres your friend?" "as soon as i enter he left" i laugh and he copy me "so how does it work?"
"um.. you tell me how to act"
"how to act? like..."
i smile when i remember Yixing's words, so i repeat them to Kris "do you want me touch your face, or your hand everytime you speak? or do you want me to laugh at your jokes and tell you how lovely you are?"
"what if i just want to talk"
"then i'll listen" he nods, he takes his wallet out and he had big bills. my eyes open now, his jacket the hat, and his shoes and those jeans. the European style. his rich "here" he pays me four thousand dollars "can we go to a park or something, to talk better?" a park? "yes, i know a perfect park"
"wow this is the first time i see a lonely park" we are walking in the only park i know, i have to admit i do miss my old life "yes, they call it lovers park or the kissing place" Kris looks at me, and i realize what this looks like "oh no, thats not the reason why i brought you here" he laughs and we continue to walk "so how do you know this park?"
"i used to live close to here"
"oh, why not anymore?"
"because of someone, i love" we sit down in a old bench "does he love you back?" i shrug "i dont know, sometimes i think he does, but most of the time i know he doesnt" "so why are you with him?" we are not even together, but i couldnt tell him that "we are not suppose to talk about me" he nods "this park really doesnt have much"
i stand up and i grab his hand "let me take you to my favorite part of the park" we walk, entering more deep to the park, we stop infront of the a tunel "this is your favorite part?" "wait" still holding his hand, i move him so he can see the right view of the tunnel "at the right time, when the sun shines if you stand here the light of the sun makes kaleidoscope colors"
"well i hope you can bring me so i can see them" i let go of his hand and he notice my reaction "you know what, lets go back" he says as he smiles. i hope he doesnt tell Jongdae about my reaction "sure, lets go back"
Kris opens the door for me, but stops me before i go in "Luhan, can i see you tomorrow?" i chuckle at the deja vu "yeah as long as you have money" i try to copy the same tone Yixing said it to me, and i kinda did "okay" he waves goodbye and i enter the club. i enter with a smile, being this first time, i didnt do so bad. im so proud of myself.
then it broke, Tao runs to me. he grabs my hands and he looks so scared "Tao what happen?" and i was hoping he didnt say Yixing's name. but he did "is Yixing, Jongdae did it again" i run. i run even when i know is to late. his probably pass out. where this time? the restroom? the bed? i skip some steps on the stairs, i was out of breath.
i arrive to his room and i open the door "Yixing!" he was just sitting down, he was leading against the bed. still so handsome with his suit, still as beautiful as the first time i saw him. i begin to shake him "Yixing wake up" he raises his head, and tears form in his eyes "Luhan" a tear falls down
"help me Luhan, i dont want to be like this anymore"
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