Revelation
Heartbreaker
Hello, my name is Xi Lu Han and this is my story. it might be nothing to you, or useless of how i fell in love. but either way you are here, meaning you do want to know about me. even if this story get sad, please continue to read it. but dont get confuse, if im telling my story it could only mean two things. One, i died and someone publish my dairy, making it a top seller.
or Two, my story has a happy ending and now you, my audience are my new chapter. so lets begin.
It all started, when i left home...
Love is something very common, everyone at least has fallen in love ones in their lives. for me love is air, every conversation i would have with my friends it would start or end with; i want to fall in love. im twenty, and i seen my friends fall in love, and break apart. i pick their pieces up just for them to fall again. but it seem like my other half wasnt there for me.
I discover love when i was five. my dog bruno, was my best friend. i loved that dog, but one day he just ran away from me. i was only five so my definition of love, was 'hold it and dont let it go'. what was a five year old suppose to think. dont get me wrong that didnt made me scared of love, i was ready. it was the other person that wasnt.
my other half wasnt ready, so the only thing i could do was wait. like the princess in stories, hiding in a tower waiting for their prince to come and rescue them. so i left my hometown, and i went to the my 'tower' Seoul.
"i see you later guys" i wave sadly "hey where are you going? i thought we were going to the movies" Kyungsoo says as he slowly moves his hand to hold Jongin. when you talk about perfect love, they always come to mind "im tired" my eyes where glue to Kyungsoo and Jongin hands, loneliness is stronger today "dont be like that Luhan, like you said your love could be anywhere" Jongin hits me in my shoulder.
he knows his stronger than me, but he always forgets or chooses not to pay attention to me. i being to massage the place where Jongin had hit me. i can feel a bruse forming "i know....but now that im twenty two, love seems so silly" the words coming for my mouth sound disgusting but true. Jongin nods to Kyungsoo, they didnt even need words to understand each other.
Kyungsoo nods back at him "okay well...bye. i'll call you when i get home" "after he calls me" Jongin winks making Kyungsoo chuckle. i was just invisible in this conversation. so i begin to walk, i doubt they would notice. and is okay.
i start to notice things that i really never did. i always walk by this park at the same time. in the same side of the street, always looking around like a lost puppy. everyday i do the same thing. and even when i feel bored right now, i know tomorrow im going to feel just fine. so i need tomorrow to come quickly, because right now. loneliness, seems like a good friend.
a black mercedes is park, covering my way. i sigh, and i walk the other way but slowly the back door opens. and i froze, and he becomes a memory, a slow motion memory. he doesnt look at me, he button ups his black taylor-made suit. his hair push back, smooth creamy face. brown eyes that look like everyone else, but at the same time making his eyes special.
"you arrive" he says, dorky smile and high pitch voice. nothing i ever hear before, he was someone i ever never seen before "i told you, you are important to me" he walks to someone with chubby cheeks, same height as him. but the beauty was totally different. i see how they both hug each other, not quiet like lovers but not quiet like family.
the person who didnt belong in this picture was me. so i slowly walk away, but every step i would make i look back, just in case that beautiful man would call to me. but he never did.
"hey Luhan we gonna go to the library and study for the math test, you want to come?" Kyungsoo runs to me, but not to far behind him Jongin was there. i shake my head, i know when is time to leave lovers alone "no, i think i can study better by myself" Kyungsoo laughs, and it made me remember when Jongin was telling me, his favorite things about Kyungsoo.
and this was one of them "since when?" "just go Kyungsoo, is okay" i smile to him, he keeps looking at me like if im a sick person. i wouldnt be surprise if he sends me to a mental hospital. but either way he walks away, he runs to Jongin and hold hands. they were made for each other, you can tell.
i continue to walk, same place. same park. the only thing that changes is the weather, it always does "come on love" i stop, the same voice from yesterday. i dont know how i didnt forget him, i turn around same style of suit he was wearing yesterday, the only thing that change is the person his holding. this time the boy was taller than him.
blonde hair, he seems younger than the man in the suit. but surprisingly the man in the black suit, looked younger. he had this kid look in his eyes, today he was someone else. and i want to turn away, but i dont. i see how he continues to hold his hands, and they walk like a couple. and it made me think, what if the other boy loves him.
without him knowing that the man in the suit was cheating on him. in the name of love, he need it to be punish. but as i fight with myself, i didnt notice that my feet wasnt paying attention to my mind. because i found myself following them, to a part of the town they call 'underworld'. name after the biggest night club. people go to have fun, to forget their problems. where you can pay handsome boys to be your date/lover.
"are you looking for someone?" the boy younger than me says, maybe his the same age as Jongin "new?" the boy spoke again, but my eyes wonder around the place. there was barely any lights, the feeling of the room was of a nightclub from the 60s "uh no" the boy chuckles not believing my words but with a hint of mystery towards me.
"dont worry you be safe here" sarcasm, thats what i hear. before i could ask his name, my eyes land on the person i came to look for. when did those dimples appear? "whos that?" "oh that yixing, his trouble" how can someone so beautiful, almost looking like an angel be trouble? "why do you say that?" "because that person that is next to him, owns him"
"owns him?"
"yeah...see everyone can rent us but when someone is interested in us they....buy us"
"so... i cant get close to him?"
"only if you are not afraid of dying"
am i? "whats your name?" the boy stands straight, cleans his throat and speaks "my name is Tao" his voice belong to his face, his kid mature face "my name is Luhan and i be back" he sighs, but doesnt ask anything else. i leave the club and i begin to run to my house, like if my life depend on it. and maybe it did.
"with 300 dollars how many minutes would i get if i want to talk to yixing?" i yell as i try to get my breath, but no one notice. i wasnt the only one yelling, so my voice just belong to the other sounds that come from the walls "didnt you hear me? you are going to die. sehun owns him" when i finally got my breath, i stand up straight and i hit him with my best line "do you believe in destiny?"
Tao laughs "that thing doesnt exist in this world" words that sound like Tao barely found out, or was it from an experience? but i ignore him, his not going to break me. i walk away and my eyes wonder around trying to look him. and i find him.
"i want a date" i grab his hand and i put the money "300? that would only give you to the coffee shop at the end of the block"
"fine by me"
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