Cancer
Heartbreaker
Yixing told me about those bad and good days that Suho has, but honesty i never thought there were going to be like this "more water?" Suho could barely shake his head, but he tries anyway. His lips continue to be dry, nothing can give them color "is there something you need?"
His eyes look so weak, like they are about to close in any minute now. But he continues to fight, today is a bad day but i know tomorrow is going to be one of the good ones "no..."
i smile to him before i head to the door "Luhan...." i stop and i turn to look at him "yes" "why?" he takes a second to pass his saliva "why are you helping me?" he actually thought that i hate it him, i smile again to him but this time i show him all of my teeth "why not?" "you love Yixing, more than i could ever do"
i wipe the smile out of my face "theres no way you can measure love, how does someone know who loves more? what counts is that you love him" "i think is all a whim, the thought that im gonna die alone scares me so all i had to do is think of the past, and Yixing came to mind" i go and i sit on the floor, next to him.
i grab his cold hand, as he continues to lay down "Yixing came to mind because you know he makes you happy, not because his a whim" Suho chuckles "arent you suppose to tell me not to love him" i chuckle along with him, in other peoples eyes they would probably think we are rivals, but they dont know our story.
they dont know Suho, then dont know Yixing or me. They dont know how hard is to wake up everyday, and see the person you love lying down with someone else, because his sick. They dont know Suho's pain, and thats the thing that hurts the most.
"sleep, i wake you up when is time for your medicine" he nods, and just closes his tired eyes. i know he want it to do that for awhile now. i grin at how lovely Suho looks. i fix the blanket, making sure Suho wouldnt be cold. I move Suho's hair from his eyes, and i kiss his forehead.
'goodnight' i whisper but before i could leave, a picture that was intop of the drawer gets my attention. It was probably when Suho and Yixing were nineteen, Yixing hair was longer than what he has now, but Suho hair was still the same. Suho has his arm around Yixing, while Yixing is making a peace sign. They look so happy, and close.
I bet it was hard on Suho, signing that contract. They were both friends, but both families wanted them to be more than that. Money, thats all the families had in mind. I wonder how Yixing felt, he was probably a host by that time. He didnt even believe in love, and Suho was everything he had. A tear lands in the picture frame, I didnt realize i was crying.
I put the picture back to same place, but this time i face it to Suho so he can see it when he wakes up. I walk slowly to the door, but it didnt matter, Suho was deeply sleeping. I open the door slowly, then i close it the same way, slow.
Downstairs all the host, were helping to decorate the room. Soon the day was coming, and no one really knows how everything is going to turn out. I just hope it lands in one of the good days Suho has "your thinking to much" Yixing stands next to me "oh" "is he asleep?" I nod "i gave him his medicine, so his gonna feel better when he wakes up"
Yixing nods. He slowly moves his hand and caresses my "i miss you" I look at him, i curl up my lips "i miss you too" Yixing pulls me towards him, hugging me so tight. He takes a big breath trying to save my smell in his nose, i try to do the same without trying to cry. I feel his lips in top of my head, oh god how i miss his lips.
"Yixing" Baekhyun comes almost out of breath, and slight scratch in his face "what is it Baekhyun?" Yixing lets go of me, and i feel cold. for the first time, since i fell for him, i feel cold "Is Kris" Yixing gives a step forward but my hand holds on to him "Yixing, please can i talk to him?" He looks at me, trying to tell me no, in the best way possible.
But he says yes "fine, but if he touches you i be the one talking to him" I nod, Baekhyun starts to walk, Yixing and me follow him. He still has the same habit, when he doesnt tell you to follow him, he just expects you to do so.
Kris waits outside, pacing back and forth. Myungsoo opens the door for me, while some of the host wait for Yixing's signal "Luhan!" Kris runs to hug me, i look behind me making sure Yixing wouldnt send someone to hurt Kris "what are you doing here?" Kris lets go of me "what do you mean? i want to see you" "Kris, im back with Yixing"
"How can you be back with him? he has Suho"
"its complicated"
"no its not, he probably used stupid words and you believed them all" Kris yells at me
"no Kris, when is love you have to learn how to forgive"
Kris grabs my hand, and with pleading eyes he said "leave him, his a host. his not good for you" I start to pull my hand slowly, and i know it hurts him "please Kris, please dont come back" I walk away from him, as i keep hearing him calling for me.
"your okay?" Yixing asks me ones i enter back to the building. I look at Yixing with sad eyes, I want it to tell him that yes, that im okay. That Kris would soon move on, and find his happiness. But the words couldnt come out, because i wasnt sure. I dont want Kris to suffer, and i wasnt sure if he wasnt going to "Luh..."
Before Yixing could say 'everything is going to be okay' or 'his gonna be all right' i walk away. I didnt need it for him to make me feel good, i didnt deserve it "Luhan" Someone taps my shoulder, i turn around and for my suprise it was Baekhyun "come" did he actually said 'come?' I follow him and we go to the rooftop
"what are we gonna do here?"
Baekhyun gets close to the edge to see the city "im gonna try to make you feel better" something was wrong with my ears, or this is all a dream, because Baekhyun is actually being nice to me "oh yeah how?" I stand next to him "just follow me" Baekhyun puts his hand around his mouth and begins to yell "hey world! im gonna be okay, dont matter what you throw at me, im gonna be okay"
"try it"
"okay" I put my hands around my mouth "hey world! look at me!! everything i ever dreamt came true!" I yell and it would echo around the walls of the building, Baekhyun looks at me and laughs "is it working?" "yes" everything that was inside of me, the worries, the pain, the tears everything was coming out. The world wasnt on my shoulders anymore
"thank you, Baekhyun"
"you can thank me by yelling 'thank you Baekhyun, your the best'" I chuckle
"hey everyone!! listen!! this man thats standing next to me is one of the best people i ever met! and I want to say thank you Baekhyun, your the best" my throat was feeling alittle weird for yelling, but it brought us laughter, so it was okay.
"stop yelling!" an old lady from across the street yells at us, making us laugh more.
theres no way you can measure love, how does someone know who loves more? and if someone knows can there be a ruler long enough?
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