sorry for the typos.

 

 BOM

I remember it was early morning and I was cleaning the kitchen at Jiyong’s house when I received a text message from an unknown number that said,

3 more days and you’ll be ours, Park Bom.

Ours.

I knew it was from the loan sharks. There was no doubt about it for I had been counting and had been looking forward to the days of my entrance into the gates of hell. Though I didn’t think I deserve to be in heaven or anywhere where life was good and everything was surrounded with bliss, I didn’t think that I deserve to be in in this kind of hell. I didn’t deserve to carry and suffer this burden my traitor uncle had left behind.

I hate him. He left me. I couldn’t care less if he neglected me but he left me. He left me before I could even do It.

In the end, he didn't show up.

The money I had managed to earn wasn’t sufficient which kept me awake for countless nights leaving me wondering what to do. Weighing the possibility of telling it to Jiyong, the big-hearted man who had been nothing but good to me. I knew if I said one word, there was no doubt that he would help me. But I didn’t want to tell this to him.

And the day . . . or should I say, the night had come.

I can handle this alone. Said my stubborn self.

“Ten million.”

My jaw clenched as I watched Yongbae threw the black bag on the ground in front of the three men wearing lousy black suits. The loan sharks. I had no idea what were their names but I recognized them. One of them, the bald one in the middle with a scorpion tattoo at the side of his head looked at me from head to toe giving me a disgusting erted look. I almost felt myself taking a step forward wanting to throw a punch at his mouth that chewed his gum so noisily but I restrained myself. I looked through the corner of my eye when I felt Yongbae’s hand held mine, squeezed it, then let it go as though he knew what I was just thinking.

Control. It will be done soon, at last. Think of your plans after this, Bom.

“Take the money and leave.” I said, monotonously.

The one on the right studied us carefully while Diverting his eyes from me to yongbae and back to me again. When he knelt down, he ped the bag and checked the overflowing bundles of paper money inside. The money I now owe to Yongbae.

It took me a lot of mental analysis and convincing before I finally agreed on his generous offer. I was mortified taking his hard earned money but desperation got the best of me and seeing this was the only way to get out of this situation without further involving someone in my mess, in my uncle's mess I finally decided to make this choice.  

“Ten million. Just like what I’ve promised.” I muttered, looking down at him and to the bulks of money that were all crisp and new. 

I hated their deceitful stares at me. They looked awfully different but their eyes were all the same and it made me think of that man. That man who tried to harass me. He had been in the news lately and Myung Dae was his name. 

“Where’s your uncle?” he asked, zipping up the bag again.

He left me and I’m wondering the very same thing too.

“You got the money.” I said, returning the same blank stare he was giving me.

The obese man on the left scoffed and blew out the smoke he was inhaling through his cigarette.

“Where’s your uncle?” He asked, again. 

“You got the money.” I repeated.

The man on the right rose while holding the strap of the bag in his hand. I badly wanted to wipe that smirk on his mouth with my foot.

“We got the money but not you.”

“Not me.” I nodded in agreement, scrutinizing them carefully.

They exchanged looks and I badly wished I had something in my hands right now to protect myself. But Yongbae was with me and he had a gun tucked under the shirt and black jacket he was wearing. When I arrived earlier, I saw him sitting in the doorstep loading his gun with bullets.

“Is a gun really necessary? I feel uncomfortable with the thought of you using that.” I remember asking him.

“The people we’re going to deal with are probably armed. It’s better to take precautions.”

I also took noticed of how he looked at me then from top to bottom and gave me an approving nod and a few compliments that didn't have the same effect as Jiyong when he told me I looked beautiful. I told him that Jiyong and I had a date and I feverishly filled him with the details leaving the intimate scenes and my piano playing. I also told him about Jiyong's reaction when I finally told him about my plan to work in Busan. Yongbae didn’t say anything other than to bob his head up and down and looked occasionally at me as if he knew I was already getting nervous at the pending transaction that would happen any moment. He suggested that I shouldn’t have come home for he could take care of the loan sharks. I rejected the idea. I didn’t want to leave him alone and I guess it was because of the fact that I had never had a friend before who sincerely took care of me especially now that I had nothing. After all, I owe him everything. He knew my troubles and had never left my side even though I had already warned him so many times that he shouldn’t and that I made it clear to him that he wouldn’t gain anything from helping me.

“I will pay you back.” I told Yongbae earlier.

And he just answered me with a long side glance and a brief nod.

“This isn’t enough.” Said the bald one in the middle. I heard the other two called his name, Hodong.  

I didn’t move from my spot when he walked towards me. He was trying to intimidate me but I had witnessed and experienced enough dangers in my life that things like that didn’t make cower anymore. Instead, I signaled and raised a hand stopping yongbae from standing in between me and that man.

Frowning, “My uncle owed you exactly ten million won. I managed to pay you the debt in three months like what we agreed upon and If you think that is not enough, then it is not my ing problem anymore. We had a deal and the deal is done justly. Take it or leave it.”

“Always brave."

I could smell the awful stench of liquor coming from him as soon as he opened his mouth. When he bent his head to me I suddenly became aware of how huge he was and how he could easily squeeze me to a pulp with his massive hands. 

“There’s just nothing to fear from you.”

“This is why we like you, Ms. Park Bom.” He said, a disdainful smirk crossing his face.

“Women tend to get frightened with us, you know. But you . . .” I slapped his hand away when he attempted to touch my face.

He winced and I saw a flicker of anger crossed his face. “You’re fearless and gutsy. Not to mention that you have a face and body like that. Smooth and pure. Perfect for bidding. A very pricy and valuable possession to keep.”  He paused.

“No wonder our friend Myung Dae came here and ed you. Tell me, was it good? Slow? Fast? Har—”

"!" 

Just before I could lunge at him, Yongbae had landed a blow on the big man’s face that sent him directly down to the ground. Painful grunts and groans escaped from him as yongbae’s fists pounded repeatedly on his already bleeding mouth and nose. I wasn’t even surprised. Was it normal that I didn’t feel a sense of pity on him, that instead of stopping him I watched the man got beaten in content. There was an itch in my head that made me feel like something similar like this had happened already and yet I couldn’t pinpoint out. It must be the time when Yongbae had saved me from Myung Dae.  

My head abruptly turned to the other two who attempted a strike of their paw at Yongbae but he was swift enough to get back up on his feet and threw a fluid roundhouse kick at the other man’s face followed by a painful right hook that completely knocked him out. I gasped in surprised and yelled yongbae's name once the last man standing almost managed to strike a blow at him only to have his wrist seized. Yongbae moved like a bat out of hell. His piercing eyes showed no mercy as he bent the wrist outward and punched the man's elbow making me hear the cracking of his opponent’s bone and his painful voice that begged for his clemency. My heart was thumping; I was immobile trying to process what was happening in front me when I noticed a movement through the corner of my eye. I turned.

“Let go!” I hissed, when Hodong forcefully grabbed me by arm.

“What do you still want from me!?” I exclaimed, struggling to escape from him. 

"We didn't expect that you would be able to pay the money, Ms. Bom. But too bad we have already decided to get you whether you manage to pay your debt or not. Say, how do you like working for us? for me? I like that idea if you ask me."

I spat on his face. "In your dreams." 

Just then, he momentarily tightly shut his eyes closed and gratingly wiped my spit off his face. I enjoyed looking at his provoked expression as he snapped open his eyes again and got confronted by his displeasure. "You !" 

"Bom!" 

My head instantly spun when I felt the heavy stinging blow on my cheeks that before I could even fall on the floor and lose my balance, I felt him grabbed a handful of my hair with his huge hand and yanked my head back. I grimaced and suppressed an outcry as I struggled trying to free myself from his grapple.

“You dare to do that again I—”

The pressure at the back of my head suddenly vanished as I heard him groaned and felt his hand released my hair. I hastily took a step back and ignored the burn in my right cheek while I looked at Hodong who fell down on the floor, already unconscious. I thought it was Yongbae who rescued me again until my eyes landed on the familiar pair of black leather shoes. And when I looked up, all the terror I felt was replaced by bewilderment as I came face to face with someone I didn’t expect to see at this moment.

“Jiyong?” I whispered, dumbfounded.

Rain droplets falling from his hair and face. His clothes were completely drenched. A sign that he had been under the rain and seen the whole scene. His face was a mixed of emotions but there was an obvious frustration just from the way he looked daggers at me. His hands enclosed and were tightly gripping the long steel he had used to strike against the man’s head.

“What are you doing here?”

I couldn’t hide the irritation in my voice. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to see this scene. He wasn’t supposed to know how ed up my situation was.

My senses naturally heightened as I kept my gaze on him and my ears to Yongbae who mercilessly threatened the rest of the loan sharks. I could hear his flat harsh voice muttering the confounding grave warning to them as if he was reading it straight from a textbook.

“Ye Seul. Brunette. Fair skinned, young and beautiful. Lives in an apartment in Gangnam. Second floor the last one to the right. By now, she’s sitting on a sofa watching her favorite TV drama, rubbing her eight-month old baby bump while waiting for her immoral, indecent and worthless husband to come home.” My head turned from Jiyong to Yongbae’s direction. I felt the eerie feeling crawling up against my skin once I saw the vicious grin spread across his lips unmistakably finding pleasure at the man’s paled, perturbed and horrified face.

“Tell me, Heon Woo. That’s your name, right?” He paused, tapping his cheek rather roughly.

“Heon Woo.” His grin widened even more as his other hand tightened around his neck. The man clearly broke his hand and with Yongbae’s weight pinning him down on the damped ground, there was no way he could still fight especially when he was obviously shaken with fear at the next grim words that came out from him.

“What if I tell you that there are sharp shooters hidden around that area, ready to fire their bullets right to her head?”

My body stiffened. No, that’s not true.

“You-you’re lying!” The man yelled throatily and I could see the fear becoming more and more evident on his face as Yongbae’s grin suddenly disappeared as if that was enough to tell him he was in no mood to tell falsehood. I had never seen him like this. Even Heon Woo’s comrade who suddenly looked as scared as him had taken a stepped back, let go of the thick long lumber wood he was about to use at Yongbae’s head earlier.

“A very smart decision to put that down, Kim Byung Hun. I will spare you from any further physical injuries.” 

Now Yongbae’s attention turned to him.

“Ho-how did you know our names?! Who-who are you!?” Byung Hun nervously stuttered. Despite of his tough appearance, anyone could tell he was only summoning whatever bravery remained in his system.

Yongbae shrugged. “Who else? Myung Dae.” He chuckled but there was no humor in it.

“You are all a bunch of traitors. Traitors who can easily be bribed and blinded by money. Tell me, Byung Hun. Does your boss, Jo Sang Hoon has any idea of how much money you have corrupted through the gambling and drug dealings you have handled? How many millions you have extorted without his knowledge? I could make a phone call right now to him and make sure to let him know your misconduct. By tomorrow I am pretty certain you won’t be able to see the sunrise again.”

“You little piece of ! Who the is you to threaten us!?”

“Yongbae!” I yelled, frantically. 

Blood drain on my face once Byung Hun pulled out a gun and pointed it at him. Just when I took a step forward, I felt a hand abruptly grabbed my wrist. 

“Don’t be ing stupid, Park bom.” Jiyong grumbled angrily.

I turned and looked sternly at him. His jaw was set. His hand was gripping my wrist so firmly as if he already knew my attempt to break away again. When his eyes flickered at me, we held eye contact and I wished I just looked away for I felt a heavy pang in my chest. I knew behind those infuriation and confusion were words and questions he wanted to tell and ask me.

“Pull the trigger. Kill me. Make sure you hit the right spot.” Taunted Yongbae.

“But just to let you know, this thing will not make any difference. Even if I fail to make a phone call right now I have people who can send the message to your boss about your naughty mischiefs. I heard he’s not very fond of betrayers and I bet that will put your life in a high risk of danger.” He paused, staring down at Heon Woo who choked at the pressure Yongbae had been applying on his neck before turning his attention at Byung Hun. 

“You’re a single father, right? By the way, how would you like it if your son, six years of age, has come to know that his father whom he looks up to so much is actually a fraud? How everything that you feed into his mouth, every luxury, expensive tutorials he takes part in his school actually came from a dishonorable act? I had a small talk with your kid the other day at the playground near his school. What a clever and smart son you have. Kim Yong Joon, that’s his name, am I right?”

Even I had the same shocked of expression as Byung hun's face as soon as I heard that from him.

“What have you done to my son!?”

He shrugged. “Easy. I just asked what is his dream. And guess what?”

He didn’t care about his answer as he continued and said, "He told me he wants to be a successful businessman like his dad. Hmm . . . when you think about it, it’s really sweet. Tell me, what is your business?" He paused.  

"Drugs?” He gave him a knowing smile and Byung Hun's face were suddenly red both in shame and anger. There was an uneasy silence that suddenly transpired around us. Yongbae stared at the man beneath him before he finally rose but not before giving the man’s neck a last painful squeezed that made him cough and gasped for air. I flinched at the sight and looked away. 

As he gathered the two together across him, he whispered something to them that made the two to suddenly scurry over me and yanked their unconscious companion from the ground. His arms draped over their shoulders. I caught Hyung Woo stared at me and there was a flicker of fear in his eyes as though I could kill him. 

“Where do you think you are going?”

My pulse quickened as I anxiously stared at Jiyong who suddenly grabbed a hold of hyun woo’s arm. “You’re not going anywhere.” He said, sternly. Anger evident on his face.

“Let them go.”

Both Jiyong and I turned to Yongbae. His brows scrunched together. He was injured but not badly injured. Only a bleeding knuckles and lips. I felt so confused right now that I wanted to ask him so many questions about the things I heard. 

Sharp shooters? Was that even true? If yes, who were they? Communicating with Myung Dae? Meeting with Byung hun's son? why I wasn’t aware of those things he told them? When did this spying of Hyun Woo’s wife all started? How? Why?

So many questions ran inside my head that I badly needed answers from him. But I knew better than anyone to keep those things to myself for right now, I had some worrying things to deal with.

I looked at Jiyong.

“Yongbae’s right. Let them go.” I commanded. 

Flashing me an irritated look, “You’re just going to let them go? after what they did here? After what they did to you? No, I will not allow this!” He retorted, scowling.

You’re doing it again. What are you going to do? Call the police? And then what? You’ll only make things complicated. What if they run after you? I can’t risk that. Not you and Miyoung.

“Let them go.” I repeated.

“Didn’t you hear me, Park bom?” he glowered.

“This is not your business. You stay out of this.”

A look of incredulity passed over his face but before he could even say something, I turned my attention at the two loan sharks hoping they didn't notice how I still felt intimidated by them. 

“I believe we’ve settled our deal. Am I right or am I going to see your faces again?” I asked, inwardly hoping for this to finally end.

Uncle, how could you leave me alone?    

“This is the last time.”

They said in unison as they casted a nervous glance at Yongbae who threw the bag full of money at them. The way they stared at him left a strange feeling to me but I ignored it as I watched the two moved quickly after Byung Hun hoisted the bag on his shoulder.

Through the corner of my eye I could see Jiyong staring at me icily. He was definitely not satisfied with my decision but I just chose to ignore it. Other than being ashamed of him discovering this thing about me, I was afraid that If I stared at him, I might lose all my collectedness and it was the least thing I wanted to happen at a situation like this. When the men finally disappeared from my sight and Yongbae had made sure they were gone, I tried to yank my arm away from Jiyong but failed when he gripped it tightly. 

“You come with me.”  

The next thing I knew, I found myself being dragged out to the front steps down to the pathway. Light drizzle falling slowly on my head and my arms soaking my skin. He walked too fast I let out a slight yelp when I tripped over a rock and twisted my ankle. He didn't stop so I leaped and bit my bottom lip as I glared at his hand digging on my arm. Once we stepped over the gate and he opened the passenger seat’s door, I forcefully pulled away but failed again.

“Let me go.” I said, through my gritted teeth.

“Get inside, Park Bom.” his voice low and stern as he pushed me to the car.

"No, Jiyong." I said with finality. "If you want to talk, just talk to me here." 

Scoffing, "I am surprised you know what talk is." He paused, pointedly narrowing his eyes at me.  

"You should have thought about that beforehand instead of keeping this from me." He continued, forcing me to get inside the vehicle. 

“Leave her alone.”

I abruptly looked over my shoulder and found the owner of that voice. Yongbae was standing over the gate, eyeing us passively. 

“She doesn’t want to come with you. Didn’t you hear that?”

When I looked at Jiyong, I noticed the way he tightly clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything to him in response. I was going to say something to him when I suddenly felt my other wrist being held and tugged by Yongbae. "Let her go." He commanded. 

“She’s my girlfriend. You are in no position to tell me what to do.”

“Doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. Let her go.”

Up in the gloomy and dark sky, thunder loudly struck resembling a sound of head-on collision and it perfectly matched the heavy tension that suddenly built between them. 

Jiyong scoffed. “Shouldn’t you be telling that to yourself, Dong Yongbae?" His voice taking on an icy edge as Yongbae’s named rolled in his tongue.

"You are an executive protection agent. Who do you work for? Who's paying you to keep an eye on my girlfriend?" 

What?

Suddenly puzzled, I casted Jiyong a confused glance trying to find sense at what I heard from him but he just gave me a stern look. I turned my attention to Yongbae.

"You’re a . . . what?" My voice came out in a whisper while I kept my gaze at the hard lines of his expressionless face.  

Yongbae studied me for a long moment as if he was debating with something in his mind and then he began speaking. 

"No one. I don't work for anyone and no one's paying me." Even though he said confidently, I felt surprisingly unconvinced that my mind suddenly raised with different thoughts and theories and before I could even suspect anything, he continued and said,

"Bom, I don't know if I should have mentioned this to you seeing there's really no point and I doubt you would care but do you remember the last time Seungri drove you home?"

He asked me but he was looking at Jiyong. I only nodded in response still trying to process what I was hearing. 

"We actually know each other. I used to work as an EPA like him but that was already a long time ago. You know how my mother got sick and is being confined in a hospital, right? I had to give up my job and look for another one that doesn't involve me going too far away from her so I could take care of her. Seungri knew this already and if you’re doubting me, you can go and ask him. He will verify it to you." he explained.

"My abilities to fight, defend myself and you are the results of my trainings and experience. It's instinctive. And just because I have already quit my job doesn't mean that I should stop using whatever I am capable of doing in case of urgency." He paused, still eyeing Jiyong. "I am not like someone who just remain clueless the entire time and I am definitely not someone like who just stand here and do nothing. Someone has to make a move and protect her."

At that moment I felt Jiyong's tightened around my wrist I flinched. When I glanced at him, I immediately noticed the rage in his eyes and his lips that formed into a thin hard line. I felt annoyed at Yongbae for trying to provoke him and I felt guilty for Jiyong who seemed to be controlling himself at this situation. I noticed the way his throat moved as he swallowed and composedly said, "You are right." his tone suddenly businesslike. 

"Someone has to make a move and as a sign of my gratitude for helping my girlfriend, I will pay you back the 10 million she probably owed now from you."

I swallowed as I felt my face heated. “No, don’t. You don’t have to. It’s my own—”

"See? I know I’m right." 

The bitter smile that appeared on his lips made me stopped and mentally scolded myself. The words that slipped out from my mouth was enough for him to confirm that his guess was right and I hated the idea of it. The idea of him helping me.  

I felt the hairs at the back of my neck rose when he leaned down and whispered in my ears. "You're a puzzle I have been trying to piece but it seems that I can read you now quite clearly." 

I tried to move away from him but found myself staying as he continued, 

“Listen. It is hard to remain civilized in a situation like this when I am in the brink of losing my very little patience and sanity. You follow him, mark my word, I won’t leave without having him to taste my own fists and I do not care if he’s got goddamn skills. You are my responsibility. So for once, even if this is against your will and even if you always disregard me, for once, Park Bom, just ing listen to me.”

 

Throughout the ride, we didn’t talk to each other and kept the words to ourselves. I think we both knew that we didn’t want to risk ourselves in danger in case we both exploded in a verbal argument while driving in this slippery road. Jiyong’s hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white as if his fury were being transmitted through it. I anxiously kept my eyes on the windshield as the car wheeled in the corner entering a familiar neighborhood. It didn’t take long until the huge modern house came to sight before we halted and parked in his driveway.

When he hopped out, he forcefully shut the door closed forgetting all his typical refined manners that included opening a door for a woman. It was an agreeable choice for I couldn’t afford to be strenuously pulled by him again. Not in this state where I could no longer walk in this heels and my right ankle was causing me an uncomfortable pain.

When I stepped outside, I draw in a sharp breath as I felt the gush of the cold rain cascaded over my head soaking me in microsecond. Thunder roared as I hurried and followed him inside the house and just when I stepped over the threshold, I heard him angrily cursed under his breath. I thought it was directed at me until I heard the ticking of what I assumed were the lights being switched on and off making me realized that there was a power outage.

A black out.

“What did Myung Dae did to you?”

His voice was sharp as razor and even in the dark I was able to see a glint of expression on his face seething with an unmasked anger.

“Answer me!” he exclaimed.

“Harassed me. Tried to me.” I said, rigidly. I winced when I staggered backward and felt my arms being held firmly by him.

“Jesus, and you didn’t even tell me!?” Disbelief was evident in his voice.

“Why? I see no point of telling that to you, Jiyong.”

“Are you kidding me? And how about Yongbae? He knew everything. Everything about you and what’s going on with you and your life!”

Not everything.

Clenching my jaw, I tried to free my aching arms from his grasp but he was too strong I felt my back being pressed against the cold wall instead.

 “Yes.” I spat out. 

“The things I didn’t tell you, the things you know nothing of, he knew it. Every damn thing. When I was ually assaulted, he was the one who saved me from Myung Dae and since then he has been aware of my affairs that has been happening around me. Of course, I tried to prevent him from getting involved but he’s persistent. And as much as I hated to admit it, I needed him. I was left with no option. He’s very useful to me and you have witnessed that yourself earlier. Are you contented with my answer, Jiyong? Let go of me.”

His fingers dug into my arms. “For a long time I have been questioning you about your uncle and you told me that he was sick but the truth is, he’s actually missing and hasn’t been home since you’ve arrived from Gangwondo. I’ve been asking you in the past week if everything’s alright and all the time you’ve been saying the same excuses. You keep on telling the same lies!”  

“Call it a lie but I intentionally didn’t tell it to you. If you didn’t come back earlier you wouldn’t have seen that scene. The night would have probably ended good for you. For both of us.”

“Intentionally? and what did you say? So it is my fault now?” he scoffed. “Do you even hear yourself right now? Do you even hear how shallow and idiotic you just sound right now?!” He hissed.

I managed to twist out of his grip, darted past him, down the hall and made it to the living room. His rushing footsteps tagging along behind me.

“You don’t walk out on me, Park bom.”

I wheeled around, heart racing, blood boiling in frustration.

“You’ve always been so upfront and you clearly knew about my situation so why didn’t you just directly ask me about it, Jiyong?” I asked.

“What’s the point? are you even going to tell me the truth? You can’t even manage to tell me one true thing about your uncle. And do you know why I didn’t directly tell this to you?” He paused, his voice thick and harsh.

“Because I have been waiting for you to open up to me willingly. I have been hoping that you would talk to me first, ask for my help, that you would come to me, rely on me and see me. But instead of doing those things, you go and confide to that friend of yours you keep on defending!" 

Looking incredulously, "What the hell are you saying, Jiyong? When did I defend him?”

“Oh, Am I wrong?"

Through this dimness I could see him directly pointing his finger at me as he said, "You just stupidly accepted his explanations, you didn’t even doubt him, you’re not even a bit suspicious of him nor decided to question him when he explained those things about himself earlier!” He exclaimed.

Sighing in disbelief, “That's because I know him and I believe in him!"

“And you don’t know me? You don’t trust me? Is that it? Is that why you’re so damn comfortable running and revealing everything to him while I on the other had to sit and guess and wonder what the hell is up with you?” 

Clenching my fist, “I am used to dealing things on my own, I don't run to him nor to anyone in particular. It just happened that I was left with no option. The time was running out. I had no choice but to ask him for help." 

I bitterly thought of my uncle. I would never forget this abandonment. I would never forget the dread I felt last week after all those unreturned calls and messages I sent to him, pleading him to come back and help. Pleading him that if he was planning to run, at least he should have told me or ask me to come with him.

“You had no choice but to ask him for help?" I could hear his footsteps as he approached me. "Then what the hell am I here for? That value of money is nothing to me. I can double the amount if they want me to but you . . . You chose him instead. You ran to him instead.” He angrily said.

“Is it mandatory to tell everything to you?” I asked. “Do I really have to tell every details of what I’m going through to you? Do you really have to have an access in every aspect of my life?” 

And as if on cue, the lights suddenly blinked open illuminating everything inside the house. I wish it didn’t happen for I felt the pricked in my chest upon being confronted by the anger, disappointment, sadness, hurt and other emotions I couldn’t depict that plastered so visibly on his face.

"No, It’s not mandatory. Have you ever heard me forced you to share something about you and your private life? No, because I am always waiting for you. All I want is your honesty and your willingness but did you ever come to me?" His brows furrowed. “I have been completely truthful to you. I have never kept any secrets from you so don't you think I deserve at least a little bit of your trust?"

It is not a matter of trust. 

"But did I ask you to be true and be honest to me, Jiyong? You voluntarily told me everything about you so why are you expecting me to do the same thing? If I remember correctly I’ve warned you, I’ve told you that I don't open up."

"And if I remember correctly, you told me that you will try." he responded, stressing the last word. "And did you even try, Park Bom?" He questioned, eyeing me intently.

Yes, I tried. I am trying even now and it's difficult. You don't know what it does to me.  

I swallowed. "No."  

“Why?” He asked, his voice suddenly sounded dismal.

I pressed my lips suddenly unable to get the words out of my mouth and as if my silence snapped something in him, he quickly walked towards me and roughly grabbed me by shoulders. His brows knitted together as he looked searchingly into my eyes that unyieldingly stared back at his.

“Be honest with me.” He paused, gritting his teeth. “What am I to you?”

My pulse quickened the longer he stared at me as though he was hoping to see answers in there. There were no traces of usual mischievous grin on his lips and his eyes were dark without any glint of humor.

“I told you. I’ve warned you. I might hurt you and leave you.” I muttered.

I felt him clutched my shoulders tightly then and lowered his gaze at me, meeting me eye level. “Is this your way of dealing things? You evade everything as much as possible. When I ask you, you don't answer. When something happens, when something’s confronting you, you just try to cut the connection, run off and leave not caring about the person who care about you? Do you really think just by saying this you can easily break up with me?”

Looking away, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Frowning, “You can’t? That's because you're not even making an effort for this to work. All you keep doing is to constantly try to end things with me and keep me an outcast. You might be tough, tenacious and snarky but you're just a coward.” He bitingly said as he released me. I watched him as he turned his back away from me, rubbed his face with his hands as his shoulders dropped dejectedly.

I blinked back the sudden tears that suddenly watered my eyes. A few spilled on my cheeks and I hastily wiped it away, composed myself and swallowed the tightness in my throat. His words hurt me. But not because I find it absurd but because I knew in myself that they were true. And that was what pained me the most.   

There was suddenly an absence of sound between us and all I could hear was the howling of the wind coming through the opened French door, the rain beating against the window and my own pulse ringing in my ears. My feelings completely coincided with the atmosphere that was surrounding us. Heavy and somber with each passing seconds.

“Did you know what I felt earlier when I saw you there dealing with those men?” He asked, still not looking at me. I didn’t answer for I was afraid that my voice would betray me. 

“When I saw you dealing with those men earlier, when I saw how that guy protected you while I stood there not knowing what to do, unable to do the same thing for you, I felt useless and stupid." He sighed. 

"You think I brought you here just because I want to have this talk? Well, you are wrong. I brought you here because I’m worried they might come back for you and if that happens, I’m afraid I might not be there for you to defend you. That they might take you away from me and try to violate and harm you again, that I might not be able to see you again. But the entire time I was asking you to come with me, you think . . . you were acting like . . . I was just trying to hurt you. As if I could do that.”

No, I didn’t think of you that way.

I looked down and clutched my dress out of frustration. 

“I decided to pay the debt you owe now to Yongbae not because I am jealous. Well, yes. Maybe. That’s unavoidable anyway. But I am not that shallow. I did that so you won’t have to worry about it again, I did that because I don't trust him and I don't want you to be in trouble again even if you think he is your friend. But you tried to stop me and I just don’t understand why you’re only doing that to me. You see, I want to be the person you can run to and depend on but you never even give me a chance.”

When he turned, he eyed me momentarily and then took steps forward until he was standing close to me again. “Even the things that’s inside this.” He pointed his index in my forehead.

“And most especially here.” He added, as he rested his warm palm this time against my chest. Our eyes met and I knew he felt my pulse beating rapidly. When he removed his hand, I opened my mouth to say something but the words didn’t come out and I saw the way he eyed me disappointedly.

“You allow me to kiss you, hold you but you never let me see what’s within you. You’re still the same. You never change. You never try.”

No, you’re wrong.

“Then if you’re tired of me, end things with me. That will be a lot easier.”

This kind of words were easier to say but the pain it inflicted felt surprisingly a hundred thousand times painful as though a corkscrew was twisting every part of my insides.

"You're right, that's easier." He said. And I looked down as I tried not to show any emotion at his statement.

"Fine, we can break up. You can resign, get a new job--the one you're talking about in Busan. You can leave. We can end this right now." 

The mention of Busan made me realized why did I decided to apply for that job in Gustav. 

That's useless now. 

"But what should I do, Park Bom?" he asked. 

I don't even know what to do with myself.

After this, I will be on my own again which is something I've always wanted if not only for uncle who tried to stick with me before. But uncle's gone already and I can do that. I can live alone now. I will move out and perhaps live in a countryside this time and then I will a get a new job like what I used to do. I will go back to my usual routine. My routine that I haven't done in the past months.

Wake up.

Eat.

Work.

Sleep.

Wake up again and exist.

 

"I love you."  

My heart skipped a beat as I abruptly lifted my head up to the source.   

"I am in love with you." He repeated, his face exhibiting an emotion I hadn't seen before. All the tension that had been there a while ago were gone now and was replaced by something else. Something gentle, genuine and real. 

So real it frightened me.

So real that before he could even lay a finger on my cheeks, I stepped back and put a distance between us. My pulse was hammering against my chest I could feel it almost being close to bursting. My head was filling up with thousands of thoughts of uncertainties and doubts. My stomach knotted in sudden fear. Fear that at any moment I might say the very same thing I was very reluctant and unsure to say. I feared that I might say all the things I wanted to do and once I said it, I wouldn’t be able to take it back and that everything would be different and I would have no control over what was going to happen next.

I kept my wary gaze on him as he waited and concernfully observed me, expecting an answer to his confession I heard from him for the first time. But I couldn't answer him. The surroundings became heavier and it suddenly felt suffocating and overwhelming. I looked down at my hands involuntarily trembling. I clasped them together hoping it would stop the shaking but a sudden chill engulfed me and just when I wrapped my arms around myself, I winced and another pain escalated that I ended up clutching my chest as I felt the sharp shooting and burning sensation that made my heartbeat pounded rapidly. I couldn’t breathe, my chest started to heave as I desperately gasp for the lacking air. There was a faint sound and I think it was Jiyong who called my name saying something but I wasn't sure. I was too lost, too distracted on concentrating on my own anxiety flooding every part of my system, trying to break me any moment.

“Bom.”

Pressure filling up my chest.

I can’t breathe.

“Park Bom.”

I took a labored and ragged deep breath.

I can’t breathe. I am going to die.

“Jesus, Bom.”

I felt a pair of warm hands pressing on my cheeks holding me firmly, 

"Park Bom, Look at me." His voice was soft but there was a hint of urgency and panic in it.

but I was already too dizzy and light headed to look at him. "Look at me, please. Look at me."

He kept saying those words until I forced myself to stare up and wholly focused my attention at the pair of dark brown eyes staring closely at me. My world collapsing that I tightly clutched his arms for support.

“Breathe." He whispered.

“Breathe, Park Bom. Just breathe."

His voice became my guidance and my reminder as I slowly breathe in and out. In and out. I repeated the whole process again and again. Reminding myself to slowly breathe in through my nose, pushing my stomach out and exhaled through my mouth, pulling my belly in.

Calm down, Bom. Calm down.

I kept on doing my breathing technique until my shallow breathing steadied, until I calmed down, until I was taken out and brought back to the existing time and eradicated all the thoughts that painfully clouded my head. His thumb wiped the wetness I didn’t realized streamed down from my eyes.

I blinked. My bottom lip quivered. My throat ached. And before I even knew it, before I could even collect myself again, before I could rationalize and grasp the meaning of this, another surge of emotion overcame me again that made me lose all my equilibrium and ended up bursting into tears. I felt like a fragile thing that had been hurled against the wall and shattered into pieces. A time bomb that had been ticking and finally exploded once the timer reached its limit. I felt unfairly vulnerable, weak and unguarded. I hated every seconds of it but the never-ending stubborn tears wasn’t ceasing no matter how hard I tried to stop and wipe them away with my hands. I couldn’t hear anything other than my own loud sobs that echoed in the living room. My chest heaved leaving me breathless once again. I felt Jiyong's arms pulled me into his embrace. His hands my head and my back as he whispered comforting words.  I had no idea anymore what was happening to me for all I could feel right now were the emotions that had been accumulated, festering my insides for a long time. There were so many things that happened I had no idea anymore where did it even originated. So many thoughts ran through my head. 

A vivid image of an explosion appeared in my head. I pushed back the thought immediately not wanting to remember how I cried my heart out and begged my dad to save him, my poor Seunghyun. I thought of Seunghyun and all those good times we had shared. Our afternoon trips to the cliff or late night meet-ups in the private secluded beach. I thought of his kiss, the feel of his lips against mine, his skin whenever we make love. I thought of how once we had been gifted by a blessing but before we even had the chance to know I was bearing a new life form inside of me, we had already lost our angel, our baby.  

My cry muffled against Jiyong's chest as I buried my face on it and hugged him tight. I tried to speak but nothing coherent came out. And even if I managed to communicate, the words choked in my throat. I had no idea how long I vented all my emotions to him until I just felt exhausted, felt myself being lifted up and everything just went blank.

 

YONGBAE

I flexed and unflexed my hands while checking the blood that dried up in my knuckles. The wounds weren't that deep but it stung when I rinsed my hands earlier. I tilted my head to the side and stared closely at my reflection in the mirror inside the elevator. I noted the cracked lips I got from the jab I received from Kim Byung Hun.

", loan sharks." I said, as I turned away and straightened my back watching the lights flickered at the floor indicator.

" you, Kwon Jiyong." I muttered, irritated.

His sudden appearance at the scene earlier was something that caught me off guard and yet I felt awfully grateful for. if he hadn't been there on time, Hodong would have probably managed to take Bom away. I knew they were not just after the money. Mr. Park knew the possibility that they might want Bom as well and so he instructed me to be prepared for whatever possible scenario that might happened.

"They are swindler and tricksters, Yongbae." I remember the night he said it to me. We were in his suite and he was sitting on the couch across the fireplace, taking a sip of his glass of brandy. His back was turned against me and though I couldn't see what was his expression was like, I could depict the glum in his voice. 

"I know that." He added. "I know that because I was one of them. And it was because of it that I lost my wife and perhaps . . . my daughter as well." 

He told me the words he never told anyone, the secret he never told anyone other than Mr. Han and me—the naive teenage boy he saved from becoming a monster. A monster ready to do whatever it takes just for my ill mother. It was because of him that I didn't have to do illegal things, it was because of him that I didn't have to starve to death, it was because of him I didn't have to worry about my education, that I didn't have to worry about landing a good job, didn't have to worry about the expenses for my mom's chemotherapy treatment, it was because of him that once she was out of the hospital and get better, she was going to be able to continue her work as an artist. She could paint again and draw and not worry about the house expenses. It was because of Mr. Park and the things he had done for me that I vowed a lifetime commitment to serve him in any capacity I could. And in order to carry out my job well, I had to disallow any distractions that could complicate and hinder me from it. Take the unusual unacceptable feeling of jealousy I felt earlier and the sudden guilt that overcame me when I chose to lie to Bom about my profession, as an example.

I needed to do it.

It’s my job.

When I arrived at the suite where Mr. Park was staying, I found him sitting on the bar stool, watching his glass of brandy being refilled by Old Han whose eyes flickered at me as soon as I came in.

"Yongbae." Mr. Park's voice cut the silence around us. "How did it go?" He asked, turning to look at me. 

I politely rejected when he offered me a glass of brandy that he shouldn't be drinking according to his doctor. "Oh, that's right. We need you sober." He smirked, his brusque voice slurring.

He had been drinking quite a lot which was unlike him. I casted a glance at Old Han and just by the way he stared at him, I could tell that he was worried for his old friend as well. Whenever I looked at Old Han, I always get the feeling as though I was looking at my future self. Mr. Park had said to me before that old han and I were alike in so many ways and I think, it was at this moment where I could definitely say that we were alike. The old fellow dedicated almost his entire existence and loyalty to the Park's family that I wouldn't be surprise if his name was included in Mr. Park's will of testament that had been altered not too long ago. The only thing we knew in that testament was that, Jenny Park, was to be the heiress of the Park's Incorporation. Anything beyond that was kept secretly by Park Ji hoon alone and his lawyer.

"The transaction was done in a way we quite predicted, sir." 

"I could tell." He nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he stared at my bruised knuckles.

"And Jenny, how is she?" 

"She's in good condition, sir. She-she's with kwon Jiyong at the moment." 

his brows rose up and I could tell just by the way his eyes sparked that it was something that took his interest. I knew he was waiting for me to add more details so I continued and said, "I apologize if I wasn't able to properly do my job, sir. But while I was in the middle of being attacked by the Heon Woo and Byung hun, Park Bom, No, I mean . . ." I trailed, clearing my throat.  

"Jenny was suddenly assaulted by Hodong."

If I wasn't paying enough attention I wouldn't notice the minimal change of hard expression on his face. "Fortunately, Mr. Kwon was there." 

"I guess, by now he knew it all." He said, taking a sip from his drink.

“He’s a persistent man and plans to pay the debt for Bom, I mean, Jenny.”

“Really?” He didn’t sound surprise as if he was already expecting it. “That’s supposed to be my bait to bring my daughter back but oh well, let him do what he wants. One day he’s going to find it out. You didn’t hurt him, did you?”

I shook my head vigorously. “No sir. In fact, I was waiting for him to hit me." I paused as Old Han suddenly chuckled. 

"But he’s a man full of self-control that even after I tried to get Bom, I mean, Jenny from him, he didn’t do anything. It’s hard to provoke him, sir.”

“Do you think he loves her, Yongbae?”

The question was something I didn’t expect I found myself spacing out for a while.

“Shouldn’t the question be, Do you think Jenny loves him?” I asked, looking at him and to old Han. 

A ghost smile appeared on his lips then.

“Tell me, what was his reaction was like? Have you seen it?" 

Another unexpected question.

It wasn't really hard not to notice his reaction. His face was covered with all sorts of mixed emotions. He looked clueless, perplexed, bewildered, mad and overwhelmed with all those things that happened. I couldn't blame him. His girlfriend just kept everything from him and had no intention of telling him about it. 

"I can't tell this debt to him." She said, when I told her to ask Jiyong for help.

 I remember we were in the middle of eating our cold noodles in her apartment at that time after discussing her surprising plan to work in Busan, which I immediately informed to Mr. Park.

"Why?"

She chewed her lip and shook her head. A pink blush tinted her cheeks then which quite surprised me. "You won't understand. I can't. I don't want to tell this to him." she explained. 

"Pissed." I finally said after summarizing the overall look of Kwon Jiyong's face in my head. 

Suddenly, a rare loud bark of laughter erupted from Mr. Park that it shocked me. I glanced at old Han and he was just standing still trying to control the amusement on his face. it didn't take long before Mr. Park's laugh faded that I finally decided to ask the question I had been dying to know. 

"Sir, with all due respect but what's with the sudden change of plan?" I paused. "I am supposed to come back here with your daughter after paying the debt but you suddenly advised me not to do it, Why?" 

"Because there are things I still want to clarify before proceeding. You told me she's planning to go in Busan." he said, eyeing me intently. He was back to his robust demeanor. "Do you know the reason? do you know what's in there?" He questioned. 

"Because of  Kwon Jiyong and  the job waiting for her." I responded, suddenly feeling stupidly unsure.  

"Yes." He nodded, thoughtfully. "But there’s also something in there." he added.

I watched the way his throat moved up and down as he slowly emptied his glass and swallowed the liquor. The way he drank it made me surprisingly craved for it. "What's in there, sir?" I asked, curiously. 

Something shifted in the atmosphere surrounding us and I knew upon realizing it that it was probably from the grim look on his face as he said, 

"Choi Seunghyun." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading! I always appreciate it. :)