Yunho sit on the couch in his dorm living room.. He has his head tilted back and finger pinching his own nose bridge.. Trying to relieve the dizziness he feel..

 

The room is dark and deafeningly quiet.. He didn't bother to turn on the light.. Heck, he didn't feel like doing anything right now.. It's just shine from moonlight from outside of the windows make the things inside the room visible to eyes..

 

The scene with Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun before keep replaying in his head like some broken record.. Especially Jaejoong's words..

 

Guilt?.. Yes he always has guilt creep inside of him every single seconds.. Yet he assure himself if everything went as how he planned it will be, then everything will be better than before..

 

Four of them will found greater happiness..

 

He believe that pain is something we must pass through before we can achieve greater happiness.. And he aimed for that happiness..

 

But he still didn't get the happiness.. Instead it seems like happiness walking further away from him..

 

Why that happen?..

 

He lift his hand and reach out for another can of beers in front of him.. Times like this make he understand why Jaejoong so crazy over these intoxicating drinks..

 

It's just a drink.. But it can lift the  bad feeling even if it's just for split seconds..

 

He didn't notice when the door opened and another person come into the room.. He just noticed it when the whole room lit up with light..

 

"What are you doing hyung?.." He head the question from no other but the baby of the group..

 

"Oh Changmin ah.." Yunho called and patted the space beside him.. Indicating Changmin to sit by him..

 

From the other's voice alone Changmin know that the other is losing his right mind and nearly drunk.. Not to mention those abandoned empty cans on the coffee table..

 

Changmin stepped closer and sit like what he instructed to..

 

"What happened hyung?.." He asked calmly..

 

"You know what?.. I met Junsu, Jaejoong and Yoochun just now.." Yunho said in his now slurred voice..

 

Changmin didn't give any response.. He just stay silent until it's Yunho who talk again..

 

"I have a surprise for you.. Jaesu is dating.." Another silence.. Changmin once again give no response, he just has his eyes widen a little, showing his shock..

 

"Are you serious?.."

 

"I'm joking.. Well I hope I am.. Jaejoong is now with Junsu.." A lone tear escaped Yunho's eyes while he let out bitter chuckle..

 

"Well.. It's shocking.. I never thought of the day it will happen.." Changmin said finally..

 

"So do I and Yoochun.." Yunho said in low voice..

 

"Is this why you drink your off and look depressed?.." Changmin asked after another time of silence..

 

No answer.. So Changmin know he is right..

 

"Is it my karma?.. That Junsu ended up go to Jaejoong.."

 

"Most definitely.." Changmin said.. He didn't bother trying to make Yunho feel better..

 

 

"Geez.. Thanks.. You really helping me feel better.." Yunho said sarcastically as he tilted his head back to the couch..

 

"You are so pathetic hyung.."

 

"Yes I am.. I'm called pathetic from my baby brother.."

 

"I'm sick of you acting like you are the saddest person ever in this world.. It's not only you who suffered here.." Changmin said as he make move to stand up.. The tone of his voice is unreadable, but Yunho know there is something wrong.. So he reached out to grab the other's hand to prevent him from leaving..

 

"Whats wrong?.." Yunho asked..

 

"Nothing.." Changmin said with straight expression.. He doesn't even try to look back at Yunho and still stand up, ready to leave..

 

Yunho tightening his grip to preventing the younger boy to leave the place.. "What happened?.. You can tell hyung.. "

 

"Are you?.."

 

Yunho taken a back by the question.. "What do you mean?.."

 

A sigh escaped Changmin's mouth.. It's silent for a while before finally Changmin begin to talk again..

 

"Are you even my hyung when you didn't act like one?.. Do you ever care about me?.."

 

"I.. Of course.. I care of you.. You are my little brother.."

 

"Are you sure?.. I think I lost all my brother the day we split up.. I stayed with you even though I know everything that happen ubecause I pity you will be alone here, but you aren't really here.."

 

"If we talk about the most suffered one it should be me.. I'm here with you but you aren't even care about me, you are too busy thinking about Junsu hyung.. Junsu hyung probably too busy thinking over Yoochun hyung.. Yoochun hyung probably too busy thinking about Jaejoong hyung.. While Jaejoong hyung probably tol busy thinking about you.. Who am I?.. Aren't I part of you guys?.. It seems like I aren't part of you guys.. Why no one even care about me?.."

 

What Changmin said is like bomb dropped to Yunho's head.. He opened his mouth wanting to say something but no word leave his mouth.. He just sitting there, mouth agape slightly as he look at Changmin's direction..

 

Another sigh left from Changmin's mouth.. "I'll go to sleep.." Changmin freed his arm from Yunho's grip and make his way to his room..

 

It's when he almost reached his room when the older man seems to found his voice back..

 

"I'm sorry min.."

 

Changmin halted his movement and said "I don't need your apology.. Just don't act like the most depressed man in this whole world because it isn't just you who suffered.. In fact you are one of the very cause of all this.. And it's enough for me that I finally can let it all out from my chest.."

 

With that saying Changmin finally opened the door to his bedroom and lost from Yunho's sight.. Leaving the other alone once again to dwell upon the mistakes he did to all his loved one..

 

-----

 

It's been a month since that faithful night at the restaurant.. Jaejoong and Junsu, especially Jaejoong has been acting like he is invincible in their eyes..

 

It make him feel really depressed and lonely.. It's very hard and stressful waking up thinking he need to go work and meet them again..

 

Thinking how he will treated like a wall at the lonely corner while they are laughing together, acting all lovey dovey in front of him.. When he is in love with one of them..

 

He feel like he was going to be crazy each days..

 

Is this how Junsu felt before?.. He feel really bad about it..

 

He want to apologize to the smaller man.. But Jaejoong never allow him anywhere near the smaller man..

 

And at the same time his guilt over Junsu is fighting with his jealously over the man..

 

The situation is worser because they are about to release their new album, so practically they will meet each other almost every single day because they need to prepare for their showcase..

 

Starting from today they need to practicing their dance steps and songs.. It's literally killing him..

 

Now they are inside the dance practice room..

 

He is at the corner of the room, sitting alone with back against the big mirror.. One leg lie straight on the floor, while the other bended to support his stretched arm.. 

 

He watched around as Jaejoong intentionally making wrong dance step to got Junsu sulking while teaching him and having joy at seeing the other's pouting face..

 

It used to be his source of joy too in between tiring schedule.. Seeing Junsu's adorable pouting face..

 

He actually ever wonder why he can't fall in love with the smaller man when he is very sweet and cute..

 

"Stop fooling around!.." He heard the hight pitched voice yelled.. He saw the smaller man turned away from the eldest while crossed his arms against his chest, mouth moving probably cursing the other under his breath..

 

The eldest on the other hand has cheshire cat like grin painted on his face, clearly enjoying teasing the other man..

 

He watched as the eldest warped his hand around the smaller man from behind, lips so close to the other's ear, almost touching..

 

He doesn't know what the eldest whispered to the youngest man; but he saw how the youngest expression changed to a small pout then change again into small giggle before bursting in laughter..

 

The youngest man turned his body around and send punch on the other's chest.. But Yoochun sure the punch doesn't even consist any pounce of strength and he is sure Jaejoong hurt look is just a fake one because the next second the eldest pull the other into a tight hug while laughing..

 

"You are so cute Su ah.." He can heard the eldest say loudly before planted kisses on the others face which make the younger one squirmed to get free from the hug while blushing adorably even though giggle escaping the others mouth.. Probably embarrassed by the PDA but the same time enjoying the affection..

 

He noticed that almost all the others people inside the room is looking at the couple in the middle.. They all smiling at the cute display of affection, some even giggled..

 

Only him who probably can't bring himself to enjoy the display in front of him.. His heart bleeding instead.. How can it's not when it's his own self who he wished to be in Junsu's position right now..

 

It's like Junsu got something he always dreamed of.. Something he tried really hard to get but never achieved it until the end.. To say he is jealous it's an understatement..

 

Can't bear to see it again he lift himself to stand up.. He then making his way outside to the balconywhere no one is there before taking out the cigarettes pack from his pocket and lit one of them.. Hoping the cigarettes will calm his raging heart..

 

He bend down and put his elbow on the railing.. The railing is very low, it's barely reach his waist, so so need to bend really low..

 

Pit pat..

 

He is already at his third cigarette when he heard footsteps behind him.. Maybe it's a staff who came to call him back..

 

Puffing the smoke to the air, he turned around, surprised that it's actually Junsu who few feets away from him..

 

Yoochun raised an eyebrow.. "Why are you here?.."

 

Instead of answering Junsu asked back the same question "Why are you here?.."

 

Yoochun replied back with another question.. "Where is Jaejoong hyung?.. Aren't you guys attached to hips now?.."

 

Junsu made his way to Yoochun side..

 

Junsu sighed.. "I'm sorry that the way we act hurt you.. But I won't stop it just because of you.."

 

"Glad to hear that.." Yoochun replied sarcastically..

 

Silence formed between them.. It took a while before Junsu finally broke it..

 

"He is worried over you.. I can see it.." Junsu said as he take place beside Yoochun, he sit on the railing..

 

"Who?.."

 

"Jae.."

 

"Doesn't seem so.." Yoochun shrugged..

 

"You know how he is.. He is caring person.. And no matter what, you are an important person to him.. He just reluctant to show he still care because he thought about me.." Junsu said carefully.. "And I'm worried about you too.."

 

 

--- Alternatives ---

 

So I made 2 alternatives story for this..

 

--- Alternative 1---

 

 

"Aren't you mad at me?.. Why you should worry about me.."

 

"Yes I am, but I'll learn to forgive you.. You are an important person for me after all.." Junsu paused for a second.. "But that doesn't mean I can forget about it.."

 

"Thank you Su.. And sorry for everything I have done.." Yoochun said sincerely.. Seeing Junsu being nice to him made the guilt he feel over powered the jealousy..

 

Junsu nodded while offering a small smile to him..

 

Another steps can be heard following by "Su." Being shouted..

 

Yoochun turned his body so he can see at the newcomer at the balcony..

 

Jaejoong doesn't bother to even cast a glance at him and just look straight at the man beside him..

 

"What are you doing here with him?.." He saw the other approached Junsu and warped his arms around the smaller man's body loosely..

 

Yoochun darted his stare away from the couple..

 

"Just a little talk.." From the voice alone Yoochun can say that Junsu is smiling..

 

"Hmm.. Nothing happened right?.."

 

Yoochun heard Junsu chuckled at it.. "What could possibly happen here.." He heard Junsu said playfully..

 

"Hmm.. Let's go back inside.." Jaejoong voice were muffled a little, but he still can hear it..

 

He turned a little to watch as Junsu nodded his head and let the other lead him to go back with hands linked together..

 

Junsu glanced at him and offered a small smile which he replied to..

 

"You should go back in too.." He suddenly heard the eldest say.. He know it's directed to him..

 

"I promise I'll learn to move on.. And I hope once again I can be someone you could call as your best friend" He said instead..

 

He see Jaejoong movement halted a little before he continue walking, doesn't bother to even look back at him, while Junsu is sending him grateful smile..

 

 

 

--- Alternative 2 ---

 

"Do you mean he care for me but he care for you much more than me so he act like this?.. Thanks but you doesn't need to punch that fact back to me.. I know it already.." Yoochun said sarcastically.. He doesn't know why but hearing the other act nice to him made his blood boiled instead..

 

"It's not what I mean.. Yoochun ah.." Junsu said.. He tried to reach out for yoochun but the other slapped his hand away..

 

"Don't touch me.." Yoochun said angrily.. He walked to stand in front of Junsu while glaring at him..

 

"Hei.. Isn't it's me who suppose angry at you after all this.." Junsu standing up straight, getting annoyed as well.. He is trying to be good person here, but Yoochun still act like jerk..

 

"Yes you are.. So stop pretend and acting so nice!.." Yoochun shouted and punched Junsu's left cheek with his hand..

 

What they didn't predicted is that Yoochun's punch could send Junsu off his balance and slipped on the floor, head hitting the rail..

 

"Ah!.." 

 

"Junsu!.." Yoochun shouted in surprise.. His eyes wide to see the man below him unconscious on tje floor..

 

"Junsu!.." Another voice shouted from distance accompanied with anxious fast steps..

 

Yoochun still has his eyes open wide.. He feel like his body frozen, he can't move at all..

 

He see the man crouched and gather the unconscious man in his arm and shook him to wake him up in worry..

 

Everything is blur for him.. He doesn't know what happen next.. What he know is the eldest glared and yelled at them.. Then they are at hospital room.. He was chased out from the room, but he begged saying he need to at least see when the other conscious again.. So after some punches he finally letted  to stay at the corner, observing the unconscious male silently while guilt eating him..

 

After some time the unconscious man finally opened his.. Jaejoong immediately stand up and rain the man with questions of what the other wants, needs and feels..

 

And the next thing he know.. Junsu answered with small voice, saying "Hyung.. Where is Chunnie?.."

-----

 

After meditating for a while *Lol* I come up with this idea of making you guys to choose.. So now you guys should chose which alternative you like better.. I will go with the most choosen one by readers.. First alternative will end like how I planned, which isnthe very next chapter is the end.. While the second definitely open for few more chapters.. So it's you choice^^..

 

a/n : and this is why I reluctant to add Changmin.. Because honestly speaking I always imagine him would be the bitterest one between them in this story considering everything.. Haha