He stare as Jaejoong eyes slowly closed..  It took no longer than a second before the other waned into sleeping state..

 

But he still couldn't sleep..

 

He always feel like something is missing.. Something isn't right every night..

 

Suddenly hand pulled him.. In a flash he is warped inside his hyung's embrace..

 

Ba dump..

 

His heart skip a beat.. What is this?.. Why his heart always beats faster when he is in close proximity with the other.. Especially when the other is showing affection to him.. Like hugging, ruffling his hair.

 

Every affection that felt normal before.. Now making the butterfly inside his stomach fluttering..

 

There is longing he always feel for the other that he never even feel from Yoochun.. The one he supposed to love..

 

What is wrong with him.. He doesn't know.. Why he feel like this.. He doesn't know..

 

Did something between him and Jaejoong hyung changed in this past one and half year?.. It's impossible..

 

Jaejoong is his hyung.. His older brother.. There is no way any romantic feeling can be developed between them.. At least he could never imagine it.. And he should never imagine, especially wanting it..

 

But being inside the warm embrace.. That thought crumbled.. He can picture himself being with the other..

 

It just feel so warm and safe.. He feel like everything finally fall into the right place.. Like he finally found the missing piece he looking for all this time.. Until he has no will to pulled away from the embrace..

 

But what about Yoochun.. He is in love with that man right.. He always thought that there won't be a day he will stop loving the other..

 

But again.. He never feel the fluttering feeling when he kissed the other these days.. Well the other never even tried to kiss him or do something intimate.. And he never craved any of it..

 

He just kiss the other sometime as remembrance that the other is his lover.. 

 

"Hyung.. Why I'm feeling like this to you?.." He asked in soft whisper..

 

He closed his eyes.. Letting himself soaked in the warmness from the other man..

 

Slowly he was lulled into slumber..

 

-----

 

He can feel something caressed his face gently.. And whispered words being said.. But he refuse to wake up..

 

He finally get the sleep he wanted to.. He afraid that once he open his eyes.. This peaceful warm feeling that cocooned his whole being will disappear..

 

Now the fingers traced his lips.. Every surface it touch feel like burning..

 

Another inaudible whispered words.. Before the fingers against his lip replaced by something softer and warm..

 

Ba dump

 

His heart skip a beat.. Someone is kissing him really gently..

 

Opened his eyes slightly.. He can see his hyung's closed eyes through his eyelashes..

 

Jaejoong hyung is kissing him..

 

His mind become panic.. His heart beating hard.. He can even hear the sound of it pounding against his ribcage wildly..

 

He tried his best to keep his outer composure calm like he is still sleeping.. Praying inside that Jaejoong hyung couldn't hear the sound of his pounding heart..

 

The kiss ended.. The soft lips leaving his alone.. Taking the warm feeling with it.. He almost begged for it to be back.. What's wrong with him?..

 

Another whispered word being said.. And now he can hear the words..

 

"I love you.."

 

The words rolled from the other's mouth..

 

Ba dump

 

His hearts pound louder.. The words dance it's way to his heart.. Warped it with fluttery feeling..

 

He let out the breath he didn't realize he has been keeping when he head the soft clicking sound of door being closed..

 

Eyes immediately fluttered open while his fingers unconsciously tracing his own lips where the taste of the other's lips lingered on..

 

"I love you.." Those words echoed inside him like mantra..

 

This mean Jaejoong hyung has feeling for him?. But what about Yoochun..

 

His mind is confused.. Whirlwind of question spinning.. But he can feel his heart beating in joy..

 

Second later surge of pain hit his head.. Squeezed his eyes tightly, he tried to cast the pain on his head away.. It took minutes before it subsided.. 

 

Flash of images appear before his closed eyes..

 

"What if I really fall for you?.." Jaejoong accidentally blurted out in hushed voice..

 

To his surprise the other's eyes suddenly opened..

 

"What did you just say hyung?.." Junsu straightened himself up and look straight to his hyung..

 

Jaejoong swallowed the lump in his throat.. He didn't know whay to say.. "I.. I.."

 

"Are you really.."

 

"I'm sorry Su ah.. I should not feel like this.. You are my little brother.. But.. I think I started to see you in different light.. I think I start to fall for you.."

 

He isn't sure if it's just a fragment of illusion his mind created.. Or is it part of his memories.. But it's too vivid and look real just to be a dream..

 

So did something changed between him and Jaejoong hyung?..

 

But why no one say anything to him?..

 

Heavy sigh rolled out of his mouth as he make his way off of the bed.. He decided to take a shower first in order to freshen his mind slightly..

 

He let the water hitting his body freely.. But it still can't take away the uneasiness he feel no matter how long it is.

 

Stepping out the door still in his wet state.. Droplets of water keep trickling down from his wet hair.. But he doesn't bother to dry himself he sauntered out of the bedroom.. 

 

He can hear clanking noise coming from the kitchen.. Indicating his hyung is still there.. Most probably fixing some breakfast for them..

 

He already make up his mind just to ask his hyung about everything and cleared the fog in his mind..

 

Sound of plates being put onto the table resounding quietly..

 

He went inside the kitchen to find Jaejoong placing the finished dishes on to the table..

 

"Hyung.."

 

"Oh.. You finally wake up.." Jaejoong lifted his head slightly to look at him.. Acting like nothing happened before hand.. For a split second Junsu almost think the 

 

"Yep.."

 

"Aigoo.. Why you don't dry your hair?.."

 

"It will dry by itself.." He answered nonchalantly, taking his place on the dinning table..

 

Jaejoong tsked and left the kitchen.. Not long after he come back with white towel on his hand.. He immediately drapped it on Junsu's head and start drying Junsu's hair gently..

 

"You could get sick if you let it wet like that.."

 

Junsu say nothing.. He just keep staring as the other drying his hair.. His hyung really become more attentive toward him..

 

"What happened between us actually?.."

 

"Ung?.. What do you mean?"

 

"Well it's possible that our relationship changed in the past one and half year right?.. So is there any change between us?.." The question finally rolled put from his mouth..

 

The movement against his head stopped for a while..

 

He can hear awkward chuckle coming out from the other's mouth.. "What do you mean Junsu yah?.. Why you think like that?.."

 

"Well.. I just realize that suddenly hyung become very attentive to me.. Also the fact that we have same securities code.. Since when we become that close?.."

 

There is long pause before Jaejoong answered.. As if he need to think for an answer first..

 

"Well.. Aren't I a tentative hyung from the beginning?.. And aren't we close?.." Another awkward chuckle..

 

Junsu doesn't reply at first.. He keep his stare straight at Jaejoong's eyes.. The later avoid his gaze awkwardly.. He know the other is lying..

 

Why are you lying.. The words is dying on the tip of his tongue to be said but another word being said instead..

 

"I'm kidding.. Of course hyung is.." He put on forced smile.. He waited for some seconds before say again..

 

"Your hair dried already.. Let's eat.."

 

The towel covered his head pulled away.. He can hear the other footsteps walking away for few minutes before returned..

 

They eat in awkward silence.. No one say anything.. Sometimes he will stealing glance at his hyung.. He can see the other spacing out.. As if he is in deep thought..

 

He sighed..

 

Why Jaejoong should lie to him..

 

-----

 

His step become heavier when he is close to the company's door..

 

Day by day had gone by.. And he realized something is wrong with Junsu.. The boy become awkward around him.. Even though the other reluctant to show it and pretend to act like usual.. Jaejoong know something is wrong..

 

The other also keep staring at him when he think Jaejoong didn't notice.. But Jaejoong can feel those piercing gaze burning him..

 

This awkwardness happen since the day he stayed over at the younger man's apartment flat..

 

The questions the other asked him some times still haunting his mind..

 

Why Junsu asking him that kind of question?.. Did he got his memories back?.. But he looked sincerely asking and confused.. So there is no possibility he had it back..

 

When Junsu asked him those question.. It quite took him a back until he can't answer anything.. He just come up with whatever..

 

Maybe he actually should just tell the other the truth.. Maybe it's better like that.. But what will the other think when he know his self one and half years ago will think that he and Junsu in a relationship is simply unimaginable to happen and just ridiculous to thought of.. The never really clicked well with each other back then..

 

Sighing he finally step his foot inside.. He greeted every staff he meet on his way to the recording room since they are about to record few more ballad songs to fill their new album because few songs they recorded before doesn't feel good enough for them..

 

When he finally arrived at his destination he saw Yoochun is there.. Tapping a pencil in fixed beat against the table..

 

He looked around and see no sign of Junsu's presence..

 

"Junsu isn't here yet?.." The question rolled out from his mouth immediately..

 

Yoochun immediately looked at his direction..

 

"He won't be here today.." Yoochun answered..

 

"Why?.."

 

Yoochun shrugged his shoulders.. "He just told the manager he can't make it today.."

 

Jaejoong nodded his head.. Thinking what possibly make Junsu skip a recording quietly inside..

 

"Hyung.. I need to talk with you.." The seriousness in Yoochun's voice is obvious..

 

"What?.."

 

Yoochun stood up and closed the door behing Jaejoong, which the later forgot to close..

 

Yoochun then make his way and stand right before Jaejoong.. Both hands rested on Jaejoong's shoulder.. Eyes gaze intensely at the older man..

 

"Junsu.. Last night he asked to broke up with me.."

 

 

-----

 

a/n : Sorry for the long wait and yet crappy short chap.. T_T.. *hide at te corner*