HANA

It took me a week to go through all my thoughts and feelings and finally realize what I wanted to do. I also started to write on my diary again.

Since the graduating seniors were basically just loitering around school with less than a month to go before graduation, I didn't have to stay inside the classroom most of the time. We usually just had to meet our homeroom teacher for announcements and it would be self-study for the rest of the day. Jiyong didn't stay long in the class either. He'd leave right after the homeroom teacher does. I had no idea where he went.

On Friday, he didn't come to school. After talking to Hyekyung, I found out that Youngbae was absent, too. It had something to do with their training. Even though I still avoided him during class, I felt my heart both ache and get excited at his absence.

“Are you okay now?” Hyekyung asked me after lunch at the bleachers where the entire gang used to hangout at. We had decided to eat together, despite the guys' insistence to eat with him. I found it awkward being in the same group as Hansuk and try to act as if I didn't know anything about his feelings.

“What do you mean?” I raised an eyebrow at Hyekyung, sipping on my milk.

“You don't look as depressed as before.”

“Hmmm... Jinjja?” I smirked, digging my hands into my uniform's vest pocket. I do feel better now that I know what to do.

“Have you talked to Jiyong already?” Hyekyung peered anxiously at my face which I kept neutral.

“Not yet. I have a lot of things to do before I can properly talk to him.” I said, crossing my left leg over my right. “I'm sure of one thing, though. It'll happen before graduation.”

“Hmmm..” Hyekyung nodded, leaning on her knees as she crossed her arms. “What do you have to do first?”

I drank the last drops of my milk then looked at Hyekyung, smiling. I stood up and stretched every joint in my body. I was flexing my neck when I saw Hyekyung staring at me expectantly.

Blowing air into my cheeks, I looked up at the clear blue sky and closed my eyes. I let the sun warm me up for a while as I tried to prepare my mind and heart of what I was going to do. This was the perfect time because Jiyong wasn't here.

Glancing back at Hyekyung, I tried to give her a reassuring smile. “I'll talk to Hansuk today.”

* * *

I gripped the straps of my backpack as I walked to Hansuk's classroom. Hyekyung told me he had cleaning duties today so he'd be staying in school later than usual. I kept my gaze on my shoes as I felt my heartbeat double with every step closer to the room. I was so focused on looking at my feet that I almost missed the door. It was a good thing then (or not) that Hansuk was on his way out and saw me.

His grin when he saw me just about broke my heart. I swallowed and flashed the least anxious smile that I could muster.

“Why are you still here, Hana-yah?” he asked, slinging his bag over a shoulder.

I almost faltered. Hansuk had been and will always be one of my closest friends and knowing what I was about to do would not only hurt him but me as well. I kind of understood Jiyong's desire to help him out. I swear, if I had a choice over which guy my heart would flip out for, Hansuk would be a very desirable candidate. Unfortunately, that's not the case. The edges of my lips slightly shook as I smiled.

“I have to talk to you.” Despite the twisted knots in my stomach, my voice sounded calm and sure.

It hurts to know that I'd be erasing those sparkle in his eyes later on. But I had to do what's right. Even if that means breaking Hansuk's heart.

JIYONG

I dropped my bag on my desk as I sat down. Burying my face in it, I closed my eyes to try and get some sleep before our homeroom teacher comes in. We have a week for school left and although we didn't have formal classes now, attendance was still mandatory.

I felt my desk move as someone bumped on it. I looked up and growled at a classmate, fully aware that I looked even more intimidating right now with dark circles under my eyes and gaunt cheeks. We had been recording and training non-stop the whole week. Youngbae and I even had to miss some days off school for some rest but even that didn't help much.

I dropped the side of my head on my bag again, unconsciously facing Hana's side. I was about to change positions when I realized that she wasn't on her desk neither was her bag. My eyebrows knitted together. Is she not coming?

I sat up and looked around the room. Still no Hana. I tapped the classmate in front of me on the shoulder and asked if Hana wasn't coming in today. She raised an eyebrow and shot me a look that seemed to say “why are you asking me when you're the best friend?” She shrugged her shoulders and faced the front again.

Was she sick? Hmmm... I took out my phone and started to type a message but then, I remembered that we weren't talking anymore. I deleted everything and closed my phone.

I groaned as I dropped my head on my crossed arms that I had placed on top of my bag. Why am I even bothering about her? She's almost an adult for God's sake. She can take care of herself.

But where was she?

She's almost late.

I was about to text Hyekyung when Hana came running in the room. She took deep breaths as people greeted her good morning. She nodded to them, running her hands over her hair as she panted for air. I bet she didn't brush it again. As soon as she regained her normal breathing pace, she walked to her chair and plopped down. She leaned back and took a deep breath.

She puffed her cheeks then formed an “O” with her lips and exhaled. My hands clenched on the table as I suddenly felt the overwhelming need to hold her cheeks.

Clenching my jaw, I didn't realize I was staring at her until her eyes locked with mine. I blinked, jerking my eyes away from her. I quickly flipped open my phone to act busy but closed it again when I saw that the wallpaper was a photo of us. I'm so stupid.

I opted to slam my head on my desk instead. Good thing my bag cushioned the blow. I closed my eyes, wishing to just disappear from Hana's eyes already. I was rapping a litany of curses in my mind when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. Looking up, I almost fell off my seat. Hana was peering at me from her seat.

“Jiyong-ah,” she said softly.

The way Hana spoke my name made my heart do cartwheels and headspins. I was so shocked at her talking to me that it took me a full half minute to relax my shoulders and raise my eyebrows in response to her call. I couldn't trust my voice right now.

“Are you free after school?” She asked, looking as nervous as me.

I was supposed to cut class and go straight to the studio to work on the new song I just wrote. I had to pass it to Hyunsuk hyung for evaluation at midnight.

“Yeah, I am,” I said, nodding a little too excitedly.

As soon as the words left my mouth, the best miracle in the whole world happened.

Hana smiled.

A genuine, pre-first kiss, pre-heartbreak smile that I had missed seeing on her face. I almost cried.

“That's good.” she said, still flashing me that angelic smile. “I have something to give you.”

I couldn't respond. I just nodded. Hana smiling genuinely for the first time in months was too much to handle.

Ok, I lied. I said this should be the last flashback buuuuuuuuuut I'm adding one more. I opted to cut the original one whole chapter to tie the high school bit up better. I hope you guys understand... :)

anyway, who can guess what Hana will give Jiyong? I'm just really curious what you guys think. heee