Listen to this while reading (^_^) : Because We're Friends - Lee Seung Gi

Hana opened Golden Coffee's front door just as the rain poured in. It was a unusual sight, autumn rain, but Hana and Jiyong's minds were too occupied with the unsaid things between them to notice. Hana a couple of the lights before going to the counter.

“You want hot chocolate?” she asked him, already taking out two mugs from the cabinet under the counter.

“You still remember,” Jiyong nodded, smiling. Hana returned the smile, relieved that he still craved hot chocolate on cold rainy nights.

“Just take a seat anywhere, I'll be there with our drinks.” She said as she disappeared to the door behind the counter. A few minutes later, she came out carrying a tray of two steaming mugs of the sweet drink and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Jiyong's eyes lit up as Hana set down the tray on the brown box beside the plushie he had settled down on.

“How do you still know I love all these things?” he asked, laughing as he bit into a chewy cookie.

“Still know what? That you're a big baby?” She smirked, tucking her legs in under her as she sat on the plushie opposite of Jiyong's. “I just knew you'd never grow up.”

Jiyong laughed, that deep silent laugh that always reached his eyes. Seeing the sparkle in his eyes, Hana couldn't help but feel her heart skip a beat again. Why am I still attracted to him after all these years?

Jiyong's laugh died down and he sighed contentedly, lying down on the plushie. After a moment, he turned towards Hana, planting his elbows on the plushie and cradling his head with his hand as he looked at her. Hana raised an eyebrow expectantly, but he just kept quiet and gazed at her. She thought she saw something wet glisten at the corner of Jiyong's eyes but dismissed it as a trick of the light.

“I miss talking to you on nights like this, Hana,” he said softly, smiling at her with a look that almost brought her to tears. She shifted her attention to the raindrops on the glass window. “I miss your corny jokes just to keep me entertained and the way you would convince me to make myself a hot chocolate just cause you can't get out in the rain to deliver me one.” He started to chuckle at the memory.

He fell silent again, probably remembering the good times. As she returned her gaze to him, he was looking at her with longing.

“Most of all, I miss you, Hana.”

HANA

It's been a week since the whole disaster at Hyekyung's place. I don't want it to but every single scene has been playing in my mind nonstop. The entire week my mind had been wandering back to those intense moments and I keep embarrassing myself by blushing at random times everywhere.

For the record, I don't regret anything that we did that night. I just regret how I handled things after we kissed — fine, made out. I've been avoiding him which wasn't very hard to do since Jiyong was doing the exact same thing. I need to either let this go and move on or confront him about it and decide what to do together.

That's why I'm walking towards their group's dorm building right now, gripping an umbrella to shield me from the rain. I had come home that afternoon from school and realized that I just can't let this cold war go on anymore. I just need to talk to him and set things right. Maybe I can finally tell him my exact feelings already.

Turning a corner, I slowed down my brisk walk as I looked up at the apartment building that housed Jiyong and the other trainees. I knew they were on the 3^rd floor I just didn't know the exact room number. Taking a deep breath, I ran up to the building. There was no elevator so I ran up the stairs two steps at a time.

Problem was though, there were about ten apartment rooms on the 3^rd floor. With my umbrella dripping, I walked down the hallway and stared at the doors, trying to see if I can guess the right apartment number.

Ten doors and a fried brain later though, I gave up and decided to just sit on the stairs to wait for Jiyong or Youngbae. I took a spot in the shadows, the second step on the stairs going up to the 4^th floor. I had a perfect view of the hallway but I was concealed from the stairs going up to the 3^rd floor.

Silently, I rehearsed what I wanted to tell Jiyong. Mainly, it consisted of him being an that night but that I wanted it to happen, too. Heck, I was the one who actually kissed him for crying out loud. It was a mutual thing and we shouldn't be awkward about anymore. I was deciding whether I should tell him my real feelings or not when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Yeah, it was fun,” I heard Jiyong say. I almost stood up but I heard another voice which made me freeze.

“Let's do this again next time.” It was a girl's voice and she sounded very seductive. I went up one more step and looked down on the stairs. Sure enough, Jiyong and a girl were going up the steps. I didn't know why but I found myself ducking out of sight, my heart beating frantically.

“I'll see. I'm still kind of busy with training and stuff.” Jiyong sounded tired, like he just wanted to go to sleep be done with everything and go to sleep. I sighed. Rainy nights always made him sad for some reason. I would know, he always called me whenever it rained at night.

“All right. Thanks for coming with me today, Ji baby.”

I flinched. Ji baby?

“No problem. Just give me a call when you want to hang out again.”

There was an annoying giggle and their footsteps stopped. I just knew whatever they were going to do next wouldn't fall under the usual activities under “hanging out.” This time I really did stand up, not caring if they see me or not. Unfortunately, Jiyong had his back to me and it was too dark for the girl to notice me.

My heart stopped just as the girl leaned forward and kissed Jiyong on the lips. She wrapped her arms around her neck just like what I did and Jiyong placed his hands on her waist. They kissed for a while but I just stood there, glued at that spot, heart aching with every passing second.

Finally, she pulled away. She tucked a strand of her long black hair behind her ear and showed her perfect set of teeth through a smile. She was pretty, y, and flirty.

“See you,” she pecked his cheek and turned to go back down the stairs. Jiyong bid her bye and started up the stairs.

As soon as our eyes locked with each other, my knees almost gave way. I swallowed hard, suddenly realizing that I was in tears. Wiping the wet traitors on my cheeks, I immediately dragged my feet down the stairs.

“Wait, Hana, we have to talk!” he said, grabbing my arm as I brushed past him. Looking at him, I tried to put all of my emotions in my eyes. Wrenching my arm away from him, I ran down the stairs and out the door into the rain.

* * *

"Ya! Hana!"

Whether the call was a product of my very active imagination or an echo of the rain that's steadily getting stronger, I didn't care. I just wanted to get as far away as I can from the apartment building. I wrapped my drenched coat around myself tightly, wishing it would make the shivers go away.

"Hana! Stop!" This time the voice was unmistakably real.

I stopped, feeling my heart race faster than it did a moment ago. Turning slowly around, I saw Jiyong, running after me; hair, face, and clothes dripping wet. He stopped in front of me; his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. He was shivering, too.

"You can't just run off like that." His voice sounded strained. He stood up, planting his hands on his hips as he tried to make his breathing normal again. I bit my lip, tears threatening to spill out. I knew I was being melodramatic but I couldn't help it. After what I just saw, I didn't know if I could still keep my cool.

"Please let me explain." Jiyong said, taking a step towards me. I unconsciously took a step back. Jiyong looked crushed. He reached out his hand to hold me but I flinched away.

"Don't touch me." My voice came out strained. I could feel my lips shivering, my jaw numbing. "I don't know if I can take it."Jiyong looked utterly hurt and confused now.

"What you saw back there. It's not what you think." he started, taking another step towards me. I took another step back, holding my hands up to stop him.

"Not what I think?" I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn't know why I was not angry at all. I just felt so tired. "Then tell me, Jiyong, were you not kissing a girl just a week after doing the exact same thing to me?"

Jiyong took a deep breath, looking down at the wet pavement. He looked up at me, his handsome face looking ten times older.

"Yes, we were kissing," he said in a barely audible voice, running his hands in his already soaking hair. “But that was nothing. She isn't my girlfriend.”

“Not your girlfriend?” I scoffed, shaking my head. “That didn't stop you from her face off, did it?” Looking at me, he shook his head. He was getting annoyed. I was sure of it. He suddenly threw his arms up in the rain.

"Why are you even acting like this? We're not together! I'm not your boyfriend! I'm just your friend for God's sake!" I let out a bitter laugh, turning away from him. I heard him taking a deep breath.

"Honestly," he continued, "We ARE just friends, Hana."

Silence settled between us. I didn't even have the energy to lash out at him anymore. In essence, he was right. I have no right over him and who he dates. But he also didn't have the right to kiss me like he did before. AND THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS. Clenching my jaw, I looked up at him with a poker face.

“Just so you know, what happened between us was my first kiss.” I said, softly. I felt so defeated already. “And please don't say it was just a spur of the moment thing and that I'd regret it because I won't. I honestly don't want to forget it.” I looked up at him and sighed. “It might have been a mistake for you but for me, it was perfect.”

"Hana, I--" he tried to say but I had suddenly stepped forward.

I was pretty sure the fierce determination in my eyes shocked him into silence. Without a second thought I put my arms around Jiyong's neck, pulling him down to match my height. Jiyong looked shocked, almost frightened with the sudden action.

"W-what are you doing?" He stammered, already reaching out to pry my arms around his neck.

"Confirmation."

My eyes slowly lowered to Jiyong's lips and I swallowed hard. Gathering all my courage, I kissed him. I somehow expected wedding bells to ring, birds to burst out singing, anything and everything remotely romantic. I certainly DID NOT expect Jiyong to stiffen as I tried to get him to deepen the kiss. And worst of all, I did not expect him to push me away, his hands prying my arms away from his shoulder with shame and guilt etched on his face.

"Please don't do this..." He muttered, stepping away from my embrace. “What we did that day wasn't right. We're best friends for God's sake! We don't have feelings for each other!”

I stepped back from him and closed my eyes.

“I like you, Kwon Jiyong.”

There, I said it. I didn't know if it was the rain, the kiss earlier, or all the emotions in my tired heart but I finally did tell him. He looked away from me and let out a very long frustrated sigh.

“No, Hana, you don't.” He said, looking at me again. “You just mistook our closeness as having feelings for me.”

I couldn't believe it. I gathered all of my courage to tell him that and he says I'm confused? I could feel my arms rise up against my will. Before I realized it, I was already punching his chest.

“You stubborn . I'm telling you I'm in love with you!” I nearly shouted, frustrated at his idiocy.

He grabbed my wrists mid-punch and pushed them down. He looked straight into my eyes and clenched his jaw. The morbid determination was enough to keep me still right away.

“And I'm telling you that I don't,” he said slowly. “So stop it.”

My heart plummeted to the drenched pavement and shattered to a million pieces. I could feel the tears coming and the humiliation kicking in. But somehow, it comforted me to see the resolve on his face break the minute my tears came back.

"Hana," It was almost a whisper; his voice a mix of hurt, confusion, and... pain. Jiyong held out his hands to hold my arms but stopped midway. The tears could not be stopped now. I couldn't hide them anymore. It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"Hana, please...”

Jiyong saying my name again was the last straw. I took a step back. Then another. And another until I finally found the strength to run away from him.

Here's a reaaaally long and heartbreaking chapter you guize! haha I've written this rain scene like weeks ago but I realized this was the best moment to include it in the story. Also I thought Lee Seung Gi baby's song fit so much with Hana's feelings. :P

Lemme know if you like it. :) 

Thanks for the nagging by the way! It made me write faster. LOL