The rain pattered softly outside as the two friends chatted away in the early morning hours like they used to do albeit on the phone. Only one cookie was left on the plate between two half empty mugs of hot chocolate.

Hana had turned off the main light in the cafe but left the closest lamp on. Jiyong loved how the yellow light caressed Hana's face. She had washed off her makeup earlier and the warm light made her glow in a natural kind of way. He liked the way she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, not in the cutesy, look-at-me kind of way, but in an annoyed, getting-it-out-of-the-way manner. Typical tomboy Hana.

Occasionally, she would wrap her hands around her mug and tap her forefinger on it, smiling softly at him. He had draped his coat over her legs when she sat down. Hana had then promptly raised an eyebrow at his action. She about acting like a gentleman and how it didn't fit the image she had of him. She accepted the coat anyway.

They talked about a lot of things, mostly catching up on each other's lives. Jiyong was slightly surprised that Hana seemed to have kept abreast of his activities. He asked her about it, making her blush and stutter out a flimsy excuse of seeing all of it on the news. He doubted it though since most of the information she knew where at a fan club member level. The idea that she's a VIP and embarrassed of it tugged at the corners of her lips.

There were moments of companionable silence which they settled into with ease. It surprised and pleased Jiyong how they could revert back to their closeness even after such a long time and everything that happened between them. Somehow their time apart helped them get back to the basics of their friendship and the both of them appreciated that.

“Ji,” Hana spoke up after taking a sip of her drink.

“Hmm?” He had lain face down on the plushie so he had to lift his head to look at her.

“I'm just curious,” she said, tapping her finger on the mug again, staring at her hand. Jiyong could tell she was avoiding eye contact. “Did you ever, you know, try to contact me after graduation?”

Jiyong's lips pulled at the edges as he regarded the awkward girl in front of him. “Did you?” he asked her, honestly curious about her answer.

Hana was taken aback by his counter question but after a while, she bit her inner cheeks.

“Yeah, I did,” she nodded, “I wrote letters actually. Handwritten ones.” She laughed then, not seeing Jiyong's surprised face. “I thought a text or an email was too impersonal and those letters kind of had all of my feelings in it. Especially the ones that I never intended to tell you.”

“Were those angry letters?”

“One or two.” Hana shrugged, placing the mug back on the tray.

“I thought you said we'd forget about everything?” Jiyong asked softly.

“Not everything, Ji,” Hana shook her head, drawing her legs up so she could place her chin on her knees. She tilted her head and smiled at him. “I guess letting out the bad things through writing became a sort of therapy.”

“Like your diary?” he asked, suddenly reminded of the journal that started all of this in the first place. Hana raised an eyebrow, blushing slightly. Finally she gave a small laugh and shrugged.

Jiyong's hands itched to touch those little craters on her cheek. He had always thought her dimples were cute. He even had dreams of it during the times that he didn't see her but now that it was directed entirely at him, he didn't know what to do. He just wanted to caress it and maybe her entire face and neck for that matter. He swallowed, turning away before he could think of the other parts that he had always wanted to touch.

“So, did you?” Hana asked, nudging Jiyong's waist with her foot.

“Did I what?”

“Try to contact me?” She asked again, then realizing the audacity of her question, she blushed. “I mean, did you ever try to contact any of the gang?”

It was Jiyong's turn to flash his diamond smile at her. Hana realized that he really has become even more attractive since she last saw him.

“I talked to Hansuk and Danny until right before we debuted,” he said, pulling himself up to a sitting position. “We got really busy after that and the company changed our handphones, too.”

“Ahh...” Hana nodded, taking a long swig of the already cold chocolate drink.

“I did sort of stalk you at your university though,” he suddenly said, making Hana choke on her drink. Jiyong laughed, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket. He leaned forward to wipe away the chocolate that spilled on her chin.

Hana flinched, more embarrassed than anything. She looked up at his eyes and found it fixed on her face. The lamplight made them sparkle. Jiyong brushed the cloth over her chin to wipe off the chocolate streak. The spill was already taken care of but Jiyong found himself unable to drop his hands. Slowly, his thumb brushed over the spot on her chin that he had cleaned earlier. Hana felt a warm tingle at the contact. A soft smiled played on his lips as his thumb moved up to her bottom lip. He bit his own lip.

Feeling her face heat up, Hana awkwardly pulled herself away from Jiyong's soft fingers. She cleared , making Jiyong snap back to reality. He cleared his own throat and sat back down on his plushie.

“W-what did you mean by you stalking me in school?” Hana asked, trying to bring back the comfortable atmosphere earlier.

“Ahh...” Jiyong scratched the back of his head, smiling shyly. “I think it was a week before we debuted and I was stressing out about it. I couldn't sleep.” He shook his head at the memory. “I wanted to call you but I was scared you wouldn't pick up, so I decided to go see you instead. At least that way, you had no choice but to see me.”

“Or I could have just hid from you.” Hana said cheekily, enjoying the surprised discomfort on Jiyong's face. She laughed, tilting her head and resting it on the warm coat covering her knees. “Of course I wouldn't do that, Jiyong. It would have been awkward but I don't think I would have refused to see you.”

Again, he smiled sincerely before shifting his gaze to the clamped hands on his lap. “Yeah, I knew that but I got scared I guess. I went as far as your department's building. When I tried going up the stairs though, my knees froze up.” He let out a hallow laugh, closing his eyes at the memory. “I wanted to see you so much but when I remembered all the things I did, I just couldn't bring myself to hurt you again by appearing in front of you.”

“You couldn't face me?” Hana snorted, slightly amused at Jiyong's logic. “And this was after you told me that you would always keep in touch?”

Jiyong shook his head, keeping his attention focused on his hands

“Even though you told me that you forgave me already I knew deep down that you resented me for being the coward that I was,” he whispered, “I pushed you so far away from me and let you suffer, let our friendship suffer, that I just felt so guilty.” He started to turn the ring he wore around his forefinger.

Now that Hana noticed it, he wasn't wearing much accessories like he normally did. Looking at Jiyong now — grey shirt, simple black pants, and bare feet — he looked so much like the old Jiyong that other people would have dismissed him as another normal but slightly more handsome man on the street. The only indication of his actual status was the slightly fading red hair on his head but even that looked unstyled and ruffled.

He ran his fingers over his hair, reminding Hana of the last time they saw each other. Running his hands over his hair had become a habit of his when he felt uncomfortable, stressed, or nervous.

“What are you so worried about, Jiyong?” she asked him.

“Do you listen to our songs?” he asked her, busying himself with his hair to avoid looking at her.

“Hmmm... Of course,” Hana nodded, as melodies of Bigbang's songs played through her mind. “Why? Don't tell me you wrote songs about me.”

She was laughing at her own incredulous idea when she noticed how quiet Jiyong had gotten. Her laugh became hallow and awkward as she saw the red patches on Jiyong's bare cheeks. He had lowered his head, almost like he's bowing.

“Y-you did, didn't you?” Her shaky voice echoed across the room until it reached Jiyong's ears. He looked up and smiled wryly at her.

“Kojimal might just be the hardest song I've ever written.”

It took him 7 years to make a sort-of-but-not-really confession huh? Anyways, I was kind of worried that you guys would get confused with all the time jump. Lemme know what you think, okeiz?

I'm writing this in real time btw so the next couple of chapters may not be as on-time as i hope it would be. Please be patient and bear with me. Thank you for reading and / or commenting! hehe :))))