“Hey, hyung~” He cooed again. My twitched a bit. I gritted my teeth.

“What?” I said, my voice a bit strained.

“I love you~,” He said with that annoying smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes again.

“Shut up,” I said annoyed.

“But Hyung, I love you,” He said again, pushing me a bit with his shoulder. I rolled my eyes again. I swear, if this keeps happening I think my eyes will be permanently spinning in my head.

“You love me too,” He said matter-of-factly. I cringed.

I had sadly accidently told Jonghyun that I loved him. It’s really a tragic thing when you say things out loud when you are thinking them. So, Here I am, suffering because of Jonghyun’s current obsession with saying he loves me. It’s horrible. Absolutely terrible. But, it still made me blush a little bit and feel a little anxious every time he said it.

“I want you to say it again,” He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling up and his head titled to the side. It was one of those smiles that killed me and made my stomach churning.

“No,” I replied quickly. He pouted a bit. But, he seemed to bounce back from the rejection quickly.

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“But I said please.”

“But I don’t care!” I said throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. Jonghyun sighed. I couldn’t help but feel a bit of nostalgia from the recurring moment of us fighting back and forth like this.

“It’s okay. It’s better when you say it on your own,” He said thoughtfully. Sometimes, Jonghyun is strange. He says a lot of annoying weird things. But then, out of nowhere I feel like he says something that actually means something and actually makes me feel this burning feeling of just… happiness. I guess that’s the only way to describe something like that.

We sat quietly after that at the bus stop.  We were at least a hand’s length away from each other. My hands steadied myself on the seat. The cold metal of the bus stop seat sent chills up and down my spine.  I felt something warm grasp my hand. I looked down to find Jonghyun’s large palm around my hand, warming it. He wasn’t even blushing or smiling or anything, he was acting as if this was a fine and normal thing which made me blush a bit more than necessary.

“What are you doing?”

“H’m?” He hummed in a sense of mock innocence.

“What are you doing?” I replied, staring at him in a mix of wonder and shock.

“Oh, this?” he asked while holding my hand and waving it in the air a bit.

“Yes! That!” I said in complete exasperation.

“I’m just holding your hand,” he said while shrugging.

“So, you’re just going to do it?”

“I already told you I love you right, so you shouldn’t be surprised or anything. I should be able to hold your hand and hug you and kiss you if I want,” the more he said, the brighter the blush on my cheeks became.

I had to force myself to look away from him. I was too embarrassed to handle him saying something like that.

“I like when you blush like that, Jinki hyung,” is voice was so gentle and sweet. It made me feel even more nervous.

“Stop saying weird things,” I mumbled half-heartedly.

“I’m a guy, hyung. So, I’m going to want to hold your hand and kiss you a lot. And someday I will want to do even more than that. But, I just hope you’ll want to do those same things,” it was almost as if he was asking permission to not have to ask permission anymore.

“I do want to do those things…” I mumbled and didn’t dare to look him in the eye. I heard him laugh and felt a soft kiss being pressed to my cheek. I held my breath for a moment.

“You’re really cute, Jinki hyung,” he said with that lopsided smile. I smiled a little bit too.

I didn’t know what to say, but I didn’t really have to say anything. He didn’t expect me to say anything.

The bus came and we went on. Jonghyun complained a bit about the germs on the seats, but he got over it when I let him hold my hand again. When the bus stopped near my house, we got off and quickly made the venture into the building. The breeze was getting harder and it blew my hair all around. I felt a little self-conscious that my hair looked horrible. I quickly walked in the house and Jonghyun followed after me. I made my way into my room and fell onto the bed like I did every day. I let out a sigh of relief.

My home is a sanctuary. It’s a sacred land that I never let anyone set foot in. But, here Jonghyun is skipping right through the threshold that holds me in and traps me into this ice palace I’ve made myself. In both a figuratively and a mental sense, he has broken down the door and has shown no restraint when it came to wandering the grounds of what I am. I am unsure if it is much of a blessing or a curse to let him be so freely within me like this.

So suddenly he has become this entity that I cannot imagine my life without. But yet, I can clearly remember my life without him. Maybe that’s why it is so easy to become attached to him. I never want to go back to a life being so lonely and so silently weeping.

It’s an odd feeling to cry without tears. To be able to cry without a single tear falling form my eye is a lot like breathing while holding your breath. You don’t want to do this. You try everything you can to keep it in, but it just all flows out like silent waterfalls. But the worst part of these unseen tears is that they are unseen. No one knows. So no one can care much for each of the drops that trace your skin from the inside. Not a single person on the street cares for each bit of pain that is lingering there around you. But then it makes you wonder, if these tears were shed and shown, would they get a response then. Would they matter then?

I still don’t know. But, for some reason, I feel that Jonghyun would care. Jonghyun would try to wipe the tears.

I could already imagine the pads of his thumbs tracing up the paths of tears on my face. I could already feel his reassuring words hitting my ears with a delicate breath. I knew these things could happen if I let them. I knew he would be that type of person.

Loneliness always seemed so easy in my life. It always lingered even when I was in a crowd. I used to be the guy that sat in class and thought about if there was anyone else out there like me. I wondered if someone else could be just as a lone. I darkly hoped for someone else to listen to sad songs and to cry from the inside and be scared. I wanted someone to wish the same thing, for someone to be lonely, so that there could at least be a reason that I was so sad and alone. I wished so long for someone like me, and I finally found someone who feels what I feel. But, for some reason, when I was beside Jonghyun, he didn’t feel cold like my own hands did. He felt so undeniably warm.

So, I lay curled up on the bed with Jonghyun by my side. I could feel his chest raising and falling, which also made my head raise and fall on his chest. It was a comforting motion. His fingers trailed across my face and rubbed my head softly. I felt almost like a cat. But the warmth was so comforting and soft. I could feel all my icy walls melting.

I had been so cold for so long. I had been frozen in this place where my mind was stuck in a way where I could never let myself be happy. I was frozen in my sad castle of ice. But it was melting down and I felt myself at the threshold of its icy walls. I could feel Jonghyun’s warm hands pushing me out into the sun.

I never wanted to be cold again.

(A/N): AYO. THIS WHAT YOU BEEN WAITING FOR. IT'S ME ALL BY MYSELF. HEEAARRTTT BRREEAAKKEERRR!

EH.

EH.

EHHH EHHH.

anyway. Hello. How are you today pretty lady?

So, I just got back from my trip  and it was wonderful.♥ I went all around the San Antonio area in Texas if you know where that is... lol. Anyway. yeah. And I ate shave ice for the first time. That was horrible. I hate sweets. But, if you like them, than you should like that. Everything was really wonderful and fabulous except for when we were in our hotel room, me and my boyfriend were commencing the cuddles. But out of no where he just goes, "baby, I need to tell you something. important.." I thought this would be a romantic moment where he would confess his deep proufound love.

I should have known better.

He literally said, "I'm going to fart. And we are going to need to evacuate the building." And he did fart. And it was horrible. Terrible. Like absolutely the worst thing that has ever happened. My eyes watered from both the stench and the laughter it ensued.

So, to all the cute commenters that say me and my boyfriend are great together, are we still cute?♥

but this update was really hard. I really can't take breaks from writing or else my flowwwww is just messed up. So, I will try to get my flow back! I will try to get in my writing mood again, okay?

So, guise. We don't talk as much anymore. Please think of my AN's as my personal message to you and I think it's really great when people say that they like them. It's really nice to get replies to these little letters of sorts I write to you.

So, I thought I should ask you more questions so we can continue our conversations..

Therefore, I decided I'll ask one question per chapter. And then you can answer it and then if you want that is, you can ask me a question and I will answer one question per chapter. That way, we can have a conversation and we can start a real friendship. This story isn't jsut a place for me to ramble, I want it to be a way for us to be better friends and start a family of sorts. ♥

So this chapter's question is:

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

So, leave your answers in the comments and feel free to ask me anything you want. I'm very open! So, you can ask about me or my family or my story or my boyfriend or my pet dog even. Anything.

Let us always be good friends.♥ Thank you for your comments and subscribing and reading and being so beautiful like always.♥

Okay. You're cute. And look, you are perfect. To me, you are absolute perfection. So, when you wake up tomorrow and you are about to go to school or work or just being lazy around the house, I want you to remind yourself that you are beautiful and priceless and perfect. Be confident, because you are wonderful and Marcus oppa absolutely adores you.♥

I like you.

You're a hottie.

Okay.

So, bye.

BYYEEE.

BAI.

BAI BAI BAI BAI.

LATAH.

P.S. Okay. So guise. Look. Guise. I just thought I should explain some things about the story quickly.

Look, So, my story is about Jongyu. But it also MOSTLY about a kid that was bullied. And he leaves, comes back to his school and he becomes popular. But he also meets a really cute guy that he likes and that guy likes him back. Meaning two things, he likes someone and that person is a guy.

So, most stories would be like he ends up liking the most popular guy in school that used to bully him. But I'm tired of reading that. So, my whole point of this story is, what if he likes a loser and that conflicts him being popular now. So, the point is, It's more like what makes people bully eachother and how that changes us and why it changes us. So, Yeah, Jonghyun is a loser. And Onew is no longer a loser. Which is the problem. It's like is onew willing to stop being popular just for Jonghyun and is Jonghyun willing to not be bitter against the people that make him a "loser."

Just thought I should clear that up in case my story is just confusing or just you know... not making sense at all.