“Good Morning, Jinki.”

“Good morning, appa.” I said while shoveling more of my breakfast into my mouth.

I looked up at him when he ruffled my hair.

“Appa~” I whined. I was now going to have horrible hair for the rest of the day. Wonderful.

“Yes, Jinki?” He said with a smile on his face while he straightened his tie. I hated that tie. Ever since I was young I figured out this equation of my father’s emotions according to that stupid tie. The tighter my father’s tie was, the sadder he was. Today, my father’s tie was rather tight. That tie looked almost of a noose to me by now.

“When do you get home today?” I asked while attentively rearranging my own dress shirt. It was best not to look someone in the eye when you are pretending not to be worried about them.

“I might have to stay late today as well, I’m not sure.” He said while grabbing the morning’s paper off of the kitchen counter as if he didn’t care at all. I knew he did care that I was worried about him. It was just easier to pretend nothing was happening at all.

My dad has always been a hard worker. But, I’ve noticed that for the past year, he’s been working more and more. His tie has been getting tighter and tighter and he’s been getting thinner and thinner. His frown lines on his forehead have been getting deeper and the frown on his face he had most of the time had become to look natural on him. When I was younger, I didn’t even know that my dad could frown. But now, I was so used to seeing it a smile was a bit like a blessing.

But I could never tell him I noticed any of that. We would just pretend that this was all just absolutely okay.

“Wow! Look at how handsome you both look~” my mother cooed when she came through the kitchen. She ruffled my hair a bit and fixed my dad’s tie. She loosened it a bit. My dad smiled. The equation has again been proven correct.

“Umma, stop messing with my hair,” I complained as she continued to mess with it, but I knew it would just end up settling back to how it was before. She sighed and threw her hands up in defeat.

“Jinki, I’ll drive you to school today,” my father said as he finished up the last bit of his coffee.

“No thank you, appa, I need the exercise!” I lied as I grabbed my bag and made my way for the door.

“But you only walk a half a block to the bus stop,” my mother said.

“That walk is better than none!” I replied as I began to unlock the door. I needed to hurry to my freedom. Dear god, Jinki, why are your hands so clumsy.

“You hate walking,” my father stated bluntly. Then it was like a train of realization hit my mother. It was like suddenly she learned the meaning of life. As soon as I had finally swung the door open, she had already spoken.

“You met a girl, didn’t you!” she screeched, “That’s the only reason you would ever want to walk!” My mother went into some type of fit or something. She was just… spazzing and me and my father watched in wonder…. And a slight bit of horror honestly.

“Who is it!? Is she pretty!?” My mother asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumbled as I slowly backed away from her and towards the door.

“Yah, you better not walk through that door!” she said sternly while pointing towards the door. I stopped walking completely and stood in the hallway.

“Why do you have to walk today, then?” she asked with that stern, “you-better-tell-me-because-I-said-so” look.

“I promised a friend that I would meet them at the bus stop today,” I said rather truthfully. I did tell Jonghyun that I would meet him there so we could see each other in the morning. He was difficult like that. I wasn’t expecting for my mother to suddenly think I would want to meet a girl at the bus stop. I’m really not that type of person.

“I see….and this ‘friend’ do you like them?” she said seriously. I thought you were supposed to like all your friends?
“Of course,” I replied dumbly. I thought I was supposed to. My mother looked stunned. She started spazzing again and I was a little shocked. My father looked a little bit shocked too.

So, I just started walking out the door and started my trek to the bus stop.

While walking, I feel absolutely weightless. Not because amazing chipperness or because there was a skip in my step, I felt weightless because I just felt empty. I was just rising up because nothing was keeping me down. Sometimes I think that the only thing that holds me to the earth are these thin threads held by my parents. My mom has a string and my dad holds a string and I'm just flying around like a kite trying to get off of this damn planet and into the sky. But, kids always cry when their kites fly away, so maybe my parent's will cry too. But, I'm starting to think that connected my pinkie is this thin read thread. I feel like that thread is connected to jonghyun's pinkie as well, and for some reason that thread was enver noticed before because it was so thin. But now it's getting stronger and it's starting to pull me back down to earth.

"Hyung!" I knew the voice well.

"hey" I spoke casually.

"How are you today?" He asked as i sat down at the bus stop's bench.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Ii looks like it's going to rain today. Do you have a jacket?" he asked me while he looked up to the sky. I sighed.

Oh God, I hate small talk. It’s this horrible feeling of knowing that I’m just saying “I’m fine, how are you?” but I really just want to say “Do you love me? Do you think I’m handsome? Am I good enough for you?” I feel like there’s this huge elephant in the room literally breaking down walls but you are being an idiot and asking me “So, how are you?” Look, do you not see that there’s an elephant in here? What’s wrong with you, Jonghyun? Stop asking me dumb questions and expecting an answer that isn’t stupid in return. But, I know I can’t ask you something like “Do you ever want to jump off a bridge? Do you ever just feel so alone all the time?” because that isn’t what we do in public. That would be like shooting the elephant in the room, and no one wants a dead elephant in their house. So, I’ll just let you ask me dumb questions. For the sake of the elephant in the room of course.

I wonder what I mean to you now. Looking at you makes everything so real. I realize how much I’ve lost and gained in the last few days because of you and I get so damn scared. You’ve already stolen so much from me like a damn modern day Robin Hood. My first friend, taken hostage by your grubby hands. My first cuddling session, snatched up from under my fingers. My first kiss, gone. It was stolen when I wasn’t even looking. My first love, fleeting and already out the door. Now, My heart, is practically in your hand, beating and pulsing, and you are just smiling with that damned loop-sided grin.

Oh, but what’s next? Do you want to take my soul too? My body? Go ahead and take every limb I have. You can have every finger and toe, every arm and leg. But after that, what will you steal from me? Will you take my mind and thoughts? But, you already occupy most of my thoughts so I feel that it would be no use. Next, can you take my time? Will you take my money? Well, I don’t care much for money, but my time you are already grabbing from my aching hands. You are stealing everything I have. I don’t know what I am to you by now because all I am is being stripped away. You own everything I treasure.

But, if you steal me away like this, I hope you can take my scars, my pain, and my flaws as well. It’s not fair if you only take the good things with you and leave me with all the bad.

Here you are, sitting in front of me like it’s not even happening. You are pretending that I’m not fading away from existence because of your stealing habits. But, I just look at you and pieces of me are breaking by the seams and falling at your feet. You don’t even pick them up, Jonghyun. I doubt you even know they are there.

I wonder, rather I hope, that if you get to steal all these pieces of me, do I get at least a few pieces of you? Could I just have a bit of your heart in my pocket and carry it around. I won’t have hands to hold it in because you took those to hold. And I won’t have a mouth to kiss it, because you took my mouth to kiss. I might not have much time to admire your heart, because you took my entire mind’s sanity. But, I will at least have it. It will at least be mine.

The bus we were sitting in now lurched to a stop. I sighed again and stood. Jonghyun stood next to me and we walked off the bus together.

"Hyung, it really does look like it's going to rain," Jonghyun said worriedly while he looked up to the sky. I shrugged my shoulders and looked up myself. The sky did look rather grey. I guess I was in the type of mood where you don't notice things like that.

"You're going to get cold if you don't have a jacket," I didn't answer back to him when he said this because he seemed to be thinking out loud. Without another word he began taking off his own jacket. Silently, He handed it to me and wiated expectedly.

"What are you doing?" I said confused while I held the jacket.

"I'm giving you my jacket. You're going to get cold," he said it like it was just plain as day.

"I know that, but why?!" I was getting slightly annoyed by now.

"Because... isn't that what boyfriends do?" He asked. I was in a state of shock.

"You... aren't my boyfriend..." I said, shock still washing over me.

"Oh... why not?" Jonghyun asked calmly. He wasn't upset. He wasn't sad. He wasn't dissappointed. He just sounded generally curious.

"because.... you never even asked..." I didn't know what to say. What if he did ask and I forgot or something? That can't happen. That's not possible...

"Well, if I ask now, it'll be weird. I need to ask later then," he said, but he sounded excited. I'm getting a bit confused honestly. I thought people didn't like rejection.

"Why aren't you putting on the jacket?" he asked while cocking his head to the side.

"Oh." I said simply as I looked at the jacket in my hands. I sliped it on and he seemed pleased. It smelt like him. It smelt... good. I decided I liked the smell.

"Are you warm now? I don't want you to get sick," he said worriedly while he put his arm around my shoulders. I didn't say anything or complain. I'll just let him do what he wants.

"Yeah, but you're going to get sick," I mumbled.

"Then you can make me soup and take care of me," he said joyously. He smiled that big loop-sided grin. I smiled back a little bit.

"I'm not really asking or anything, but would you like being my boyfriend?" he asked suddenly. I was a little dumbfounded.

"Yes... I think I would," I answered slowly.

"Why?" He said without smiling fully, not yet pleased by my answer. I had to think for a moment and he didn't seem bothered by my pause.

"Because, you treat me nicely. I don't know, I just feel really warm when I'm with you," I said softly. I didn't want to admit it. "Most of the time I feel really cold and..... kind of sad. But, I feel really warm around you. You kind of make me feel happy too. But sometimes you annoy too, but I like that stuff too. I guess I just like you."

"I've liked you since I saw you, Jinki hyung. You know that, right? It's scary to say it outloud or anything, but you're really all I've ever wanted. Even back then, I think youewre like an angel or a prince or something. I just want to be able to say you're mine, so i won't have to be scared of you leaving anymore. I just like you so much Jinki."

Why was I blushing? Why do I always feel so embarrassed around him? Why does my heart flutter? Why do I have that constant feeling of my heart getting thrown into the air? Why do I feel myself getting tugged back to earth from whereever I was floating in the sky?

"Jinki hyung, will you please just be my boyfriend?" he pleaded. I felt my heart do like fifty back flips and a few cartwheels and I feel like if he kept making me feel like this, I could go to the olympics.

"Okay," my voice sounded so hoarse.

It really wasn't cute.

It still made Jonghyun smile.

(A/N): OKAYYY. WOW. CH. TEN. CHAPTER TEN WUT R U DOIN.

Anyway, hello beautiful. How are you?

I'm really sleepy so if you were wondering that's why this chapter is just like... doodoo. DOO. DOOOooOOOooOOOOOooOOOOooo.

Anyway.

Today we had a thanksgiving party thing, and I really don't celebrate thanksgiving because I'm not really american... I'm just not you guys. My accent is just too thick for it to even be okay for me to say "Happy Thanksgiving!" BUT, nonetheless, Kenny invited all his friends over and they were like "YEAH PARTY. LET'S DRINK AND MESS UP THEIR HOUSE AND THEN MAKE OUT ON THEIR COUCH AND THEN HAVE IN THEIR ROOM AND EAT EVERYTHING. YEEAAAHHHH!"

and I said "NO. GET OUT. NOW."

But my poor kenny was just so happy and was like "Yeah, I like parties. Okay. Yeah."

So, I decided to just pretend that I liked this.... gathering of destructive twenty year olds in my home.

Parties wouldn't be that bad if I knew how to dance or something but honestly, my dancing is just a tragedy to the great arts.

However, it's okay because I'm a twerk master. Yes. Yes I am. Kenny thinks it's cute. and HAWT. HE THINKS I'M HAWWWTTTT.

So, I mean Kenny had fun and that's all that matters to me because I care for his feelingssssssssSSSssSSSssss. PLUS, I got food so I have been appeased. But, I have to clean in the morning, WAH.

ANWAY. WOW. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I hope you eat good food and are very happy and joyous at this time! I think it is good to have a day to remember great things in our lives! So, I would like to say thank you to all of you because you are really what makes me smile a lot! So, Thank you very much I think you are wonderful. I love you and I thank you for your continued support.♥

So, I'm not going to answer questions today because I'm just so lazy. I'm really sorrrryyyy. AAHHHHHHHH. DON'T PUNCH ME OR ANYTHING.

omg. my dog is under my bed doing something. what are these noises. omg.... what is he doing. OMFG. I THINK HE LITERALLY JUST FARTED AHHHHHHHHH. NOOOooOOOooOOOoooo. Omg. omg. It smells so bad guys I can't even. OMFG. KENNY. PLS. WAKE UP AND SMELL THIS. NO. STAHHPPPP. GOU WHY. WUT R U DOIIINNGGG TOOO MEEEEEE.

okay. Anyway. That was just me typing my thoughts. SO, I'm just going to answer this updates questions next because my head hurts and I'm lazy and I just want to go to sleep omg pls.

BUT. I WILL NOT SLACK IN ASKING QUESTIONS!

Soooo, last update a lot of people said that judgemental people are the worst! I agree! And, some people said the sound of people eating on the phone, long nails, and I think someone said like when people wake them up early! I really don't like wkaing up either! So, I agreed with most of them mostly...

SO, this update's question isssss!

What is your ideal type?

I mean like what traits do you like in a person you want to be in a relationship with? Meaning physical or personality traits. For example, I like tall guys that are really kind. That was a really generic answer but whatever.

I'm not limiting this to just guys. Like, I personally only like girls that are short and probably kind of pale. But, one time I had a crush on this tall mexican girl but she was really beautiful. Omg. I wonder if she's reading this... she probably is because she's subscribed. She's going to know that I'm talking about her.

OMG HI ALEX ARE YOU READING THIS? I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY. K. THAT IS ALL.

ANYWAY. I think it's cool to see what other people find attractive and also I want to see if anyone likes the same type of guys and girls as me.

So, please leave your answers and your questions to me (THAT I WILL ANSWER SOON.) in the comments!

Also, if you are writing a story, put a link or tell me the name in the comments and I'll probably read it... I want to read more fanfictions... so yeahh...

So, I LOOVVEE YOUUUU.

okay.

bai bby.

you're cute.

I think you're beautiful.

thank you.

for still reading this....

omg.

My dog.

Is trying to cuddle.

but.... it is stinky.

NOOOooOOOooOOOoooo.

All well.

Okay.

so.

baaiiii.

I love you still.

DON'T FORGET I LOVE YOU.

♥

latahhhhh.

Ps. Here is a gif of Onew being cute. I like it. Pls enjoi.

PSS. here is another one. pls enjoi aswell.

ok. bai.