“I’m so tired of them following me around,” Victoria complained while twirling her hair around her finger. I kept watching the strands wrapping around and around and then being uncurled and then the process repeating all over again.

I hummed in response. The other people that sat at our table continued eating and nodded along to her bantering.

“Can’t they tell I’m not interesting in boys like… that?” She complained again with a look of utter disgusting played on her face.

“I don’t even know why they try,” a girl named Sulli muttered, playing with her salad.

“I know!” Victoria said again. Her hair still twirled around her fingers. I watched it blankly. It was almost disgusting to me. The way they talked about people was so disgusting.

Is this how normal people are?

It was so odd for me to see that these people found the boys that adored them to be disgusting. I have never thought of love as a disgusting thing in any means. But, when a boy came to talk to Victoria, she looked at him with utter distaste. While he spoke happily to her, she sneered and didn’t even respond. But the whole time, he smiled at her warmly and happily simply because of her presence. I wondered who was worse in this situation, the boy for being foolish and loving her purely for her looks or Victoria for treating someone so happy with such harsh actions. For both of them, I felt pity.

After witnessing this a few times, I decided that the people falling in love with Victoria were very naive. Maybe they thought life was like movies, but beautiful girls don’t like boys because of their dedication. They like boys for being talented and smart and handsome. And, the boys that liked Victoria were all of those things. But, apparently she was too good for them. I sighed as she continued to twirl her hair. It went in circles over and over again and made my head spin.

I wish she knew how much she hurts people. I don’t think it would make her change, but maybe she would feel some remorse. Maybe then she would feel something. She always looked so… blank. She always looked so icy and cold. She was much different from Jonghyun. Jonghyun was warm. I wouldn’t say he was kind because I have never seen him do any great kind act before. But, he was just... warm and alive. But, Victoria held no warmth in her eyes.

Love really makes you a weak person, doesn’t it?

I could hear them go on and on about parties and sports and makeup and things I could never understand. They never once mentioned something I liked or cared about. The more they talked, the more frustrated I felt. Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I be like them? Why can’t I just understand people? I didn’t. I didn’t understand them or what they liked or how they could like. I felt even more like an outcast when I was accepted by the general public.

They just kept talking and their words swirled around and seemed to tie a noose around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t focus. Frustration and annoyance seemed to flow out of me like warm blood. I hated this.

“.”

I stood. They all looked at my expectedly as if I owed them an apology for my crimes against them. I guess I should have just confirmed.

I picked up the remains of my lunch and threw it away silently. All the people that sat at the table watched me. Victoria seemed upset that I had just left, but I was tired of listening to them talk. I hated this.

“Yah! Where are you going!?” I heard her shrill voice follow after me into the hall.

“The Chorus room,” I said indifferently. I wouldn’t have minded if she didn’t follow me, if she didn’t talk to me, if she didn’t notice me. My life would have been easier. My life would be so simple and blissful if it was just Jonghyun and me without people like them getting in the way.

“Why would you go there?” She said, her voice less upset now that I seemed to give her an excuse.

“I’m joining chorus,” I said calmly, not caring much for her presence.

“You sing?” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Yes,” I answered. She was still following me. She was still walking with me. I thought she would leave by now.

“That’s really cool,” she smiled. She wasn’t bad looking in any way. Actually, I would agree that she was pretty. But, I don’t like cold people.

“I guess so, I mumbled as I neared the chorus room doors.

I opened the doors and inside was an assortment of students. Most of them were lazily sitting around and talking to each other in groups. However, there was one boy sitting in the corner of the room reading. I smiled.

People seemed to notice Victoria and I standing in the door way. Some had shocked looks on their faces because of her presence. A few others sneered and rolled their eyes. It must be so sad to get that kind of response from people. To be hated and loved at the same time would feel quite meaningless.

When I looked at Victoria, her coldness was replaced with a look that held some type of… sadness, maybe even bitterness. I never expected to see sorrow in eyes like hers. But there it was, held in perfect stillness. I followed the direction of her eyes, and saw them looking into the corner of the room, directly at the person I was looking for.

“I have to go,” she whispered and her heel, walking quickly away from me.

I found it a bit odd, but I didn’t care enough to think about it much more.

I smiled as I made my way to the corner of the room. I could feel all the student’s eyes on my back. They knew who I was apparently, but I had never seen them before in my life.

“Jongie~” I cooed to get his attention. His eyes were glued to a book. But, when he heard my voice, he looked up in surprise.

“Hyung?” He said with a small smile.

“What are you doing here?!” he questioned while looking around at the people looking at us.

“I wanted to see you,” I said truthfully.

“But, what about Victoria and all of them?” He asked cutely. I smiled.

“Hey, I don’t like them as much as I like you. I don’t really like them that much anyway,” I said with a shrug. He blushed a little bit and closed his book.

“What are you reading?” I asked while plucking the novel from his hands.

“The Scarlet Letter,” he said with a shrug.

“What’s it about?” I asked while leafing through the pages.

“About a girl who’s… different. So, they make her an outcast. And she has to wear this pin all the time so no one will talk to her,” he said with a thoughtful nod. My mouth got dry. I turned and looked at the people sitting around the Chorus room. A few were still glancing our way. I decided I disliked these people more than the people that made fun of me. These people… they didn’t even make fun of the nerdy kids at school. They just avoided them. I hope they realized that if they just talked to the poor unfortunate souls that were bullied; those bullied kids would be left alone. But from fear, they left us out and alone, by ourselves in the world. Here they were, letting Jonghyun sit alone. I hated them just as much. But, I hated myself even more. Why wasn’t I brave enough to treat Jonghyun as he deserved?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

I hated it when I tortured myself like this.

“Jonghyun, why don’t you sit with them?” I asked cautiously. I looked him over. He looked flawless to me. When I was bullied, I had a clear problem. I was fat, overweight, unsightly, a literal eyesore. But, Jonghyun was muscular and handsome. He was a bit short, but it wasn’t that bad.

“I don’t want to...” he looked uncomfortable with my question.

“But, why?”

“I already told you they don’t like me,” he mumbled, not meeting my eyes.

“Jonghyun… tell me why.” I demanded. He cringed.

“I made Victoria upset. So, then… no one liked me after that,” he mumbled, “But, it doesn’t bother me. I like being alone like this. It’s peaceful that way, don’t you think?”

I didn’t answer here. I remained silent and still. I hated this all so much.

“Let’s go,” I said as I grabbed his wrist.

He looked a bit stunned, but he complied. He followed me. I could feel the eyes of the students in the room trailing after us. I hated the feeling of it.

“Where are we going?” he asked when we were walked down the hallway towards the front doors of the school.

“I don’t want to be at school anymore.” I answered.

“We’re skipping?!” he asked surprised.

“Why not?” I asked while we stepped out the front door. I released my grip on his wrist. He stood at the threshold of the school staring at me in awe. He looked thoughtful.

“I guess… we can…” he mumbled softly. I reached out my hand to him. He took hold of it without hesitation.

We together like that, hand in hand. We didn’t look back.

(A/N): WARNING. NO GIFS AHEAD. LIKE WUT. UGH. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN PURPLE. AH.

Omg you guise. I haven't updated in what feels like years. But Hospitals have wifi. Like.... why wasn't this always been the case? WHY? WHY HAVE THEY LET ME SUFFER WITHOUT WIFI FOR SO LONG?

Anyway, yeah. So, I'm updating inside a hospital because I got really sick. I was apparently serverly dehydrated and I kept throwing up and it was not very fun. So, Kenny took me in like Monday or something and I will prbably go home soon, I hope. I dunno. I will... get back home eventually. BUT, I HAVE MY IPADDDD. THANK YOU LIFE. I APPRECIATE THIS! But. So. Uncomfortable. It's so hot here. Please save me. omg. pls. okay. I really miss you guys. We haven't even talked in so long! I haven't updated in a really long time! I MISS YOU. UGH Anyway, this doesn't have any gifs because I'm typing this out on ipad and it it just hard to get gifs and to put the right spacing I have to put in this code and NFDHGNJSNJGJNSNJVSDNJKFNS. This . Anyway, I will answers questions and I will probably go back and edit my AN because... I don't like it gif-less?

I don't know. THis update is probably junk but I just wanted to update and I miss you guys. So. I updated... P

BUT I'M GOING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS THOUGH!

So, rachanaspre asked me "who is the person you adore and respect a lot?"

I had to think for awhile, but I really adore my mom. I refrenced before, but my mother and I aren't on speaking terms and we haven't been for like a year. But, I just love her so much. She's a very strong person. When my family and I moved to America, the only one who spoke english was my father. But, it didn't even bother my mom. She taught me and my sister English even if it was hard for her. She's the type of person that If she believes in something, she really won't change her mind about it no matter what. She's against homouality and she won't even change her mind for her son. I respect that so much. I really want to be the type of person that holds on to my beliefs as well. So, I can only think of my mother with fondness. She tried really hard to make me a good person, so I want to be a person she can be proud of. I know raising me must have been hard since I was sick a lot as a child and I was in the hospital a lot, but she never seemed sad or seemed tired or angry. My mother is the kindest person I know.

sonwolforlife asked me "Are you this kind to EVERYONE and do you care so much for everyone's feelings?"

This question absolutely made me dayyyyyy! AHHH. I'm happy you think I'm kind! I want you to know, i really do care about your feelings! I feel that, I know what it's like to feel really alone and sad and hopeless. I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I care about your feelings. I want you to never be afraid to share them with me, because I promise I will understand. No one deserves to be alone. So, I won't let anyone with in my power to be upset or alone.

hithere asked me two questions, both equally awkward.<3 lol, I love you, so, the first question was "When did you lose your ity (your age)?"

I was ually active when I was 16, but I only did like... dumb stuff. I actually lost my ity on April 7th, 2011.. Yeah, so I was 17. Also, never have . Ever. It hurts and it is absolutely terrifying. I cried for like 10 minutes my first time and I never cry. I was sore for like days. It was horrible. I was really scared and I thought I was going to die. Then you always worry about what your parents will think and if they will find out. UGH. Just, get married or move out of the house or just wait. Plus, I can honestly say, I wish i waited to lose my ity until I was older. Because, I ended up losing it to A REALLY STUPID GUY. And, I could have lost my ity to a really wonderful guy that is just so much more wonderful. It's not really worth it. AND ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. No matter the gender or anything like that. Just, be safe. I love you.

hithere also asked "can you tell us some Japanese (and maybe Korean) swear words?"

OKAY. So, I lived in Japan when I was young, so I don't know a lot of cuss words, but I will tell you the ones I do know. But, I know a lot more... erted words in Korean. So, please don't judge me for teaching you these words!

so I will start with Easy ones. I'm going to write them mostly in hiragana. That's easiest.

ふぁっく (pronounces fah koo)- means literally . Like, it is the way we say pronounce in Japan. But, it is like you only say it when you hurt yourself or something bad happened like you go "OH !" yeah...

しまった (pronounced like she ma dah)- it means like oh or damnit. it's kind of like where we only say it when something bad happens. Not really in another context. It doesn't literally mean or damn it, it just has the same type of meaning if that makes sense.

けつのあな (prononced kay soo no ana)- it literally means . Like. The body party.

きさま(pronunced Key sah mah)- the literal translation is like "you great wonderful high society person" but we say it really sarcastically now so it means like "you ugly little ." so... it's a mean way of saying you. Yeah...

しね(pronounced she nay)- it means like to die or dying or death. But, it is like saying " you." we don't say you, we say like "shine!" So, like "I HOPE YOU DIE." yeah. It's probably the worst curse word you can say to someone!

NOWWWW for the korean words! They will mostly be erted. Because, my ex never taught me like insulting words because they weren't as useful as dirty words. So. yeah. This is about to get awkward guisseee~.

음경(pronounced eum gyung)- it means . Like, the slang word for . So. ok.

젖꼭지(pronounced juht kot ji)- it means s. yep. awkward. Juht means . But, juht kot ji together means s for both men and women.

빨아 (pronounced ba rah)- it's the verb to . So, if you wanted to tell someone like.. I dunno my or something along those lines you just put the verb after the noun but add my. my is pronounced nae and is spelt 내 So, it would be pronounced "nae eum gyung ba rah." It would be spelt 내음경빨아. Same with s. It would just be "nae juht kot ji ba rah." yeah.

좉물(pronounced joht mool)- I think I spelt it wrong. I dunno. but it means . So, if you ever need to say that...

똥구멍 (pronounced ddoong goo mung)- it means butthole. Literally, like the body part. Not like "THAT GUY IS A JERK" kind of butthole meaning but butthole... ddoong means . goo mung means hole or cavity.

삭아시(pronounce sak ah she)- it means . Literally, it translates to "Eat him"  but it means .

남창(pronounced nam chang)- a man that is a . It implies that he is gay. Not like , but it's like a gay guy that likes .

씨발 (pronounced she bal)- means . Like, both " you" and as in the verb to . like .

OKAY SO THAT IS ALL I KNOW I WILL GO HIDE NOW. OKAY. AWKWARD BYE.

Ontaesupporter asked me "Have you ever seen Shinee or anything? If you did, how did you react?"

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A TRAGIC TALE. i was supposed to see Shinee when they went Japan because my family goes on a trip to Japan every year. My parents were all for it too because I am really a shinee otaku. Like, I own all of their albums and I have most of their photobooks and YEAH I WAS DEDICATED. I was on that stuff back in the day. So, my parents really wanted me to be able to go to see them. But, I got really sick and I had to go to the hospital for like 2 weeks. So, I didn't go on my japan trip. I cried for like two days.

OKAY EVERYONE I HAVE A NEW FREIND. A new member to our family has come, please welcome DAElite! She asked me a pretty cool question which was "What makes you really happy? Like, so happy that you smile for hours and hours?"

That was a hard question, mostly because I didn't want to be cheesey. Butttt, the answer, as many of you probably guessed, is all of you. Yeah. I'm so corny huh? But, it makes me extremely happy knowing that their are people out there that support me. It makes me happy when you guys tell me about your day and your life and your problems and you ask me for advice. I love it. It makes me so happy! I feel so fortunate to be able to form this friendship with you guys and ot have this relationship where we can just... make eachother happy. I know, a lot of you probably think that of me as that weird guy that has long A/Ns and likes gifs. But, I honestly think of you as one of my close friends because... to me that's what you are. I just, love you so much and you make me so happy and I'm smiling right now. Even when I'm sick or sad, I remember some of the things you guys say and I feel happier. When I feel unmotivated, I just remember that there's people out there that really care about me and I just feel so content with my life.

So another NEW FRIEND YOU GUISE HAS ALSO JOINED OUR FAMAHREEEEEE. Please welcome tomogachi17 with open arms. She asked me "What made you start writing on AFF?"

Thank you for asking. Actually, I started writing because my friend Alex wanted a cowriter. So, I wrote maybe a chapter for her, but I actually stopped because she went on Hiatus. I actually have another story called "I owe you one, Hyung" that I started writing purely because I was depressed. For me, writing is an outlet to release feelings. What a character thinks about and feels and says, it's typically how I feel at the moment. So, I wrote a story to feel depressed and let it out. But, then I wanted another sotry, a new blank slate. So, I started writing "King Sized." I really like writing and I just, like being able to vent and write something passionately. So, It makes me really happy when people say stuff like "your writing is really deep" or "I could feel the emotion in this chapter" because, I'm writing what I feel and it's so SPLENDID. So, I started writing to let out all my feelings into a tangiable work.

SO THOSE WERE ALL THE QUESTIONS. NOWWWW, here's one for you!

What is your favorite thing about the holiday season?

I love the holidays because of the movies and coffee and the lights and trees and it's wonderful! Except, Kenny doesn't celebrate Christmas because he follows the teachings of BUUDDDHHAAAAA.^^ So, I will have to celebrate by myself. =_=

Okay,

so,

I love you

You

are

cute

and

hawt

marry

me

thanks

bai

latah

okay

yeeaahhh

I LOVE YOU.

PS omg guise. Like. I keep getting votes all of sudden. omg. you guys. like. what is life.

I think I'll just go cry myself to sleep now thanks I love you mwah mwah xoxoxoxoxo.