*G-Dragon’s POV*

“Shinae was planning on rejecting the project because she couldn’t bear to be without you. But going to Paris for a project was a dream for every designer so I encouraged her to go. And let me tell you something…Shinae came up with so many excuses on why she shouldn’t go. One of the reasons was her parents and the rest…was all about you. She just kept going on about how she can’t leave you alone here and that she would be worried  if you caught a cold and she couldn’t be there for you. She worried about the time difference because then, she couldn’t check if you have eaten. Then, she started crying. She knew this is a chance that can’t be passed up and this project wouldn’t come twice. But she didn’t want to be away from you,”

Youngbae paused for a moment.

“You know what I told her?”he asked me.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

“I told her that YOU would have wanted her to go as well. Because you love her so much that you would want her to be happy. And her happiness would derive from this major milestone in her life. But I was wrong about you. Shinae was right. You are selfish. You never spared a thought for her,”Youngbae shook his head in disappointment.

“Exactly, look at what Shinae noona has done for you. She goes to your concert and clubs just because you would have loved for her to be there. She looks so uncomfortable everytime that I felt so bad for her. Moreover, she even altered her sleeping habits for you. Which normal human being would willingly sleep at 5 in the morning? When you asked her to pick you up at the airport along with those screaming fangirls, have you thought of how uncomfortable she would be?”Seungri commented.

“Plus, she’s always cooking those special lunchboxes for you,”Daesung cut in.

“Not to mention why she’s still doing freelance despite so many job offers with a stable income,”Top added on.

“Then how do you explain all those insecurities? I know it was my fault that she feels so insecure but I’ve been trying my best for years yet she’s not even heeding to it,”I questioned.

“Hyung, are you that stupid when it comes to love? The reason why she’s feeling so insecure is because you’ve never directly confessed your love for her. You’ve never done anything for her to truly feel that you love her. Merely loving is not enough,”Seungri replied.

“What she really wants is for you to be her boyfriend. That’ll make her secure,”Daesung agreed.

“But I didn’t confess because I wanted her to feel more secure with me before taking it up another level,”I explained.

“That’s the reason why she’s insecure, hyung. If you never confess, she assumes that you don’t want to commit. It’s like you could just abandon her anytime since you don’t even have to break up with her,”Seungri added on.

“Jiyong, it’s time you do something for her. If Shinae could love you for so many years even when you only had eyes for other girls, I’m sure she would still love you when she’s away in Paris,”Youngbae patted my back.

“I’m not worried about whether she would change her feelings for me…because that’s one thing that Shinae does best. When she loves someone, she never stops. That idiot still loves me despite the fact I had been so mean,”my tears started falling on its own accord.

I was wrong about Shinae. And how could I have been when I’m supposed to know her inside out? I should never have doubted her. Knowing her personality, she would have considered it really carefully before coming to this decision. It must have pained her to decide on leaving me to pursue her dreams. I shouldn’t have made it more difficult for her. All I did was hurt her again and again yet this girl never left me. Do I still deserve her? She’s more than anyone can ask for.

That night when I was finally able to grasp what was going on; I lay in bed, thinking about her. Shinae deserves all the happiness in the world and if she wanted to go to Paris, I should let her go. I wonder how is she now? She’s probably crying her eyes out…The image of her tears hovering on her eyelids as she asked me to get out was too much for me to bear. I really couldn’t stand looking at her crying, knowing it was me who did that to her. I had to get out at that moment…It reminded me too much of how I’ve hurt her so many times in the past.

It makes me think,” so this is how you look like everytime you get home after meeting me when I was attached.”

Thinking back, I did remember how your smiles looked so fake. How you merely nodded your head and all you would say is, “oh!” whenever I talk about my girlfriends. I should have noticed these signs earlier. I’m sorry, Shinae. How could I ever make it up to you? That was when an idea popped up. I was not known as ‘Romantic Kwon’ for nothing! I got out of my bed and went knocking on Youngbae’s door.

“Yeah?”he called from inside.

I opened the door, peeking in.

“Still thinking of Shinae?”he asked.

I nodded my head as I let myself get comfortable on his bed.

“Youngbae, you gotta help me with something,”I nudged him.

“What?”he asked.

“Ask Shinae when’s she going to Paris,”I answered.

“Why aren’t you doing it yourself?”he asked.

“Just do it,”I was too shy to explain myself.

Youngbae just frowned before picking up his phone. He clicked on Shinae’s number and waited for it to ring.

“She’s not picking up her phone…,”he mumbled.

“Text her! She never answers the phone when she’s sad. Shinae doesn’t like people to hear her voice after she cried,”I told him.

That made me want to stab myself in a gut. She wasn’t picking up her phone because…she really did cry earlier on…

“Oh, she just texted me!”Youngbae exclaimed.

Pushing the image of her crying out for the time being, I focused on my task at hand.

[Bae, I’m sorry that I can’t answer your call right now. I’m in the midst of making arrangements for my accommodation in Paris…]

I gulped, seeing her message. Shinae was really going...

“I think your argument with her made her fall through with her decision to move there…she was really unsure just a few days ago…,”Youngbae commented.

“Ask her when she is flying!”I ignored him.

[Don’t make decisions so hastily. Did you decide to go because of your argument with Jiyong? I know you wanted to go because this is your dream but you did hesitate…Anyway, when are you flying? I’ll send you off.]

[I’m flying on Wednesday. Thanks, Youngbae but there is no need to. You might get into trouble with all your fans stalking you.]

She totally avoided talking about me and at such a moment, she still spared a thought for Youngbae…This stupid girl….Wait…She’s flying on Wednesday?! That’s two days from now?!

“Isn’t she too rash? How could she come up with such a life changing decision in such a short time? Doesn’t she need time to prep herself or anything?”Youngbae was so shocked.

“Thanks, Youngbae! That’s all I need,”I patted his back, standing up.

“Aren’t you going to stop her?! Or delay it? I mean, she’s only got two days to tie up all the loose ends,”Youngbae was blabbering.

“No, if she wants to leave two days later, then let her leave,”I replied.

“What? Are you crazy?! Are you still angry with her? I…,”but I cut him off.

“Relax, Youngbae. I love that girl too much to still be angry with her. I merely said I’m not stopping her from going because it is her dream. But of course, I’ll not just let her leave like that,”I winked.

End of Chapter

DarkAngel