I sat on the floor leaning against my door, crying. So, was I that easy to replace? Did just one girl who works at a cafe until 12:30 easily replace an Idol who was considered the cutest by various people? He eventually forgot me, Shinae. And was replaced by me, Yunhwa. 

To be honest, I don't know what to feel. I'm happy that I would finally be able to be with JongIn like before but I'm also worried cause...what if he found someone other than Yunhwa? What if he found another girl who worked at a bar and seduced him? Would he give up easily? Would he forget that I was still his girlfriend and just suddenly...leave? 

I forced myself to my bed. I lay down my bed still sobbing. Do you know that time where you like like a mess and you cry so hard that your shoulders shake and you can't even breathe? And your only sight is the tears that cloud your vision? Yep, that's what I literally look like.

I didn't even bother changing. What's the point? I'd just wake up either way then go to work. Then nightfall will come and JongIn would be there. I don't even know why but it hurts when he's already the comfortable with Yunhwa. With me, we took a year of stealing glances at each other before he literally talked to me. Then another year of staying friends before he had the guts to ask me out. How did he got so used to Yunhwa in a span of two weeks? 

I slowly hummed myself to sleep. I got used to the routine. I sleep, I wake up, I go to work, I see JongIn, he makes me remember everything, I go home, I sleep. It happens everyday. I guess I got so used to it that I got tired of it. I also guess that you could say that I missed having a not-so-normal life. In short, I miss being an idol. I hate to admit it but, yes, I am missing being an idol. Of course, I missed being called, "Yui" instead of being ignored by everyone because I wasn't famous. After that thought, my eyes automatically closed as my mind wandered into dreamland. 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I woke up. I still felt my shoulders shaking. My nose was clogged up. I felt the traces of balling my eyes out. Today, I didn't feel like going to work. I'd just see JongIn again then the drama......

I wasted my day cooped up in my room. Ahjumma made some attempts to come in but I never allowed it. She went up a few times to try and make me eat but I really don't want to. 

"You should at least eat something. Or drink. Just fill that stomach of yours." Ahjumma said through the door. "You'd die of starvation there, I swear."

"Just--...I don't want to eat." I said, carefully choosing my words. I may be hurting, yes, but I didn't need to hurt the old timer's feelings. 

"I will seriously use my key if you don't open this thing up." She threatened. 

"Just go away for a bit, will you?" I screamed through a pillow. WHAT PART OF 'I DON'T WANT TO EAT' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!

There was a momentarily pause. I probably offended her. "I'll just leave your food here. You can go down whenever you want." She said as I heard her set my food down the floor and felt her footsteps leaving my room. 

I did not want to eat. That was that. 

I slowly crept to my door. Ahjumma must not hear me. I cautiously opened the door and stuck my hand out and carefully grabbed the food. It was Kimchi. I took it inside and quietly closed the door. I set my food down the table and started to eat. I'm gonna have to thank Ahjumma later. 

"Oh, hey. Someone texted me. I think it's for you." Ahjumma said as she went up back to my room. "I'll leave the phone on your welcome mat." She added and walked away.

I, again, crept up to my door. I opened it and swiftly took the phone and closed the door. 

Hey Shinae,

It's good to hear from you after a while. You promised me you'll come back, right? I hope that it's soon. Yep, I miss you. So please come back soon. 

~JongIn

Psh. Miss me? You have Yunhwa. Then again, Yunhwa is me too. 

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

Okay, another crappy chappie. I promise it will get better. I'm just weighing it down. Plus, if I give you the good part, it would end soon. Want me to end it already? 

I am sad for I have no extra curriculars anymore *BIG SIGH* I shall sulk in my corner and cry now *sulks and cries*