She wasn’t expecting anyone and so she thought hard on who could be visiting her at this hour.

________ opened the door and was surprised to see who it was.

“_______-ah…” he greeted her, his speech was a bit slurred and his eyes were bloodshot.

“Oppa, what are you doing here? What happened? Are you drunk??” ________ asked as she smelled alcohol coming from her beloved oppa.

Jaejoong seemed like he was going to lose balance anytime soon so _______ guided him to e enter her place.

“Oppa, why are you like this?” _______ asked although she wasn’t sure if she was going to get a coherent answer. It was very obvious that Jaejoong has been drinking. _______ sat Jaejoong on the couch with difficulty as it was hard to have his weight leaning on her while they walked.

_______ was about to get up when she felt Jaejoong’s hold on her arm, it was as if he was telling her to stay…and so she did.

“You’re the only one I can talk to ________. You’re the only one who can understand me. Let’s face it even if I vent out my feelings to Jiji, a cat won’t ever respond to me…” Jaejong started to ramble and laughed at himself.

“What’s wrong?” ______ asked filled with concern. She has never seen this side to Jaejoong or to the other guys before. Sure, they’ve gone out for a couple of drinks before but it was merely for socialization and they never got drunk.

“What’s wrong is that people can’t stop judging us! Things won’t ever be the same ______. I tried…I really tried hard to reconnect with him…with both of them. Didn’t he know how hard it was for me to lower my pride and send him a text message after all these months?? I don’t know what to believe anymore. Yunho and Changmin aren’t the only one’s hurting and suffering. I can’t show this weak side of me in front of Yoochun and Junsu. Yoochun isn’t that confident yet and I know it would bring him and Junsu down to know that I’m not that strong…but I can’t keep this strong act forever. I keep saying ‘We’re going to be okay. We have each other. This is enough’ but I doubt that half of the time.” Jaejoong poured out everything. ______ could only say and do so much in this situation. She felt bad as she observed his droopy eyes. She patted his back and hugged him to try to at least comfort him.

“Ironic isn’t it? They brought us together but in the end they’re the ones who split us apart. They have the power _____. They win.” Jaejoong muttered before leaning back to look at ______.

“I'm drunk and therefore I'm telling you things that I can never say whilst sober, this is our secret okay?” Jaejoong said, he placed his index finger on his lips and did a ‘hush / shh’ action.

“How do you do it ______?” Jaejoong asked as he used the sleeves of his long sleeve shirt to wipe his tears.

“How do I do what?” ______ asked confused with what Jaejoong was referring to.

“How can you be there for everyone? How can you be okay being in the middle of us? Why can you talk to us like there’s nothing’s wrong?”

“I honestly don’ know…maybe it’s because I love you all. I know that you are great people. I only know that I don’t want you guys to feel like you’re putting up a front when you’re with me. I want to do my best to make you guys feel like everything’s okay, even just for the time that you guys are with me. I want to know that I can genuinely make you guys happy or laugh or even just smile.” _______ couldn’t help but get teary-eyed when she was talking.

“Help me forget everything for a bit ______. Can you do that for me?” Jaejoong asked and his tone was sad.

“How??” As soon as _______ finished asking, she felt Jaejoong’s lips press against hers.

______ tasted and smelled the stronger scent of the alcohol coming from Jaejoong. She froze, unable to think straight…not sure of what to do next. _______ just closed her eyes and was able to analyze Jaejoong’s kiss. His kiss was like he was longing for something…needing someone to believe in, needing someone who would believe him.

It didn’t take long before _______ kissed Jaejoong back. She felt and knew that both of them were vulnerable at this point.

Jaejoong started to lean his body towards ______ more, making her eventually lean back on the couch and him on top of her. One of his hands started to caress _____’s arms, gradually going down and intertwining their hands. Jaejoong slightly grinded against ______ making both of them moan into the kiss.

Jaejoong caught _______ off guard as he was able to let his tongue part her lips swiftly and explore around . It seemed like _______ was in a dream, her senses left her for a while. Maybe that’s why she was getting lost in this kiss.

The two had to break the kiss off as the need to breathe caught up to them. Jaejoong didn’t seem to mind though as he dragged his lips down to _______’s neck. He started harshly, it was as if Jaejoong was determined to do a bit of damage to her blood vessels. The slight discomfort may have been what caused ______ to snap out of the trance. _______ placed her hands on Jaejoong’s chest to finally stop him but not before he was able to leave a love bite.

“I’m sorry oppa. We can’t do this.” ______ told  him and it seemed like Jaejong also realized his mistake. Jaejoong sat up, his elbows rested on his knees and he then buried his face on his palms.

“I’m really sorry ______. Please, I hope you won’t judge or resent me for this.” Jaejoong apologized, unable to look at ______ in the eye.

______ sat up as well and rubbed Jaejoong’s back. “It’s the alcohol.  I understand. Don’t worry, nothing’s gonna change between us. I’ll be there for you…for all of you, every step of the way until you get sick of me.” _______ assured her oppa. She just tried to understand Jaejoong’s situation. She tried to lighten up the situation with her words and that made Jaejoong chuckle.

“I don’t think anyone of us would ever push you away.” He looked at _______ as he told her this.

“I think I should go.” Jaejoong said and stood up, his walk was a bit wobbly and so ______ stopped him from stepping away any further.

“You’re not going anywhere oppa. You’re still intoxicated and I don’t want to take any risk of you driving nor letting me drive you under this weather.” ______ sternly told Jaejoong. The rain started to pour when Jaejoong and ______ was in the middle of their talk.

Jaejoong looked hesitant, honestly embarrassed to stay any longer at ______’s place because of what he did.

“Stop thinking about what happened earlier. I told you.” ______ reminded Jaejoong.

“Are you sure?” Jaejoong asked and ______ nodded.

“Okay, I’ll just stay here on the couch.”

“No oppa, sleep on my bed. I don’t want you having a strained back to accompany your hangover tomorrow.” ______ said. The two debated and eventually ______ was able to win the argument.

She didn’t mind, she still trusted Jaejoong. The two walked towards _______’s room with a slightly awkward atmosphere. ______ brought her phone inside the room as she sent a text message to Yoochun and Junsu that Jaejoong was okay.

The night ended with two of them sleeping on the same bed, the two slept on the opposite edge of the beds but at the middle of their sleep they ended up in each other’s arms.

Jaejoong was woken up early in the morning because of a phone ringing.

Jaejoong extended his arm and reached to where he could hear the loud noise. Jaejoong who was still half-asleep, answered the phone absentmindedly.

“Yeobosayo.” A guy on the other end started.

“Hello?” Jaejoong groggily said.

“Wait, who’s this? Where’s ______?” The guy asked a bit tense.

“She’s beside me, still sleeping. You’re calling so early man.” Jaejoong answered irritated.

“JAEJOONG?!” The guy on the other line recognized Jaejoong’s voice. With that, Jaejoong was able to tell who he was talking to.

“YUNHO…” Jaejoong’s fully woken up now.

______ sat up abruptly as she heard Yunho’s name coming from Jaejoong. Her eyes widened as she saw Jaejoong holding her phone against his ear.