Chapter 31

-The right time-

Its December 24 today.. still I haven’t saw him.. the last time I visit the garden area I only saw a shadow which I knew was kyu.. I ran towards the shadow but it was gone.. why does he need to hide from me?? I know there’s something wrong going on here but I don’t know what is it and I’ll make sure that I will discover it soon..

My little thoughts was disturb when a little hand touches my face and saw hyunnie looking at me frowning..

“you’re crying again umma” he said as he brush the tears from my eyes

I didn’t notice the tears flowing in my face as I was so absorb in my own thoughts..

“oh! mianhe” I said as I brush the remaining tears

Hyunnie sit beside me and look at me

“still thinking of appa?” he said as he get the book beside me and browse it

“no”  I said as I smile as he look like kyu when he was doing that

“umma.. you know you can’t lie to me right?” he said as he close the book and look at me

I just laugh at him.. he really act like a grown up man already thinking he was a kid after all.. did I make this kid like that??

He jump of the sofa since he was still so small and can’t reach the ground

“umma..” he called me I look at him

“it’s 24 this month.. you’re going to the place where you and appa meet right?” he ask as I nod at his question

“ok! I’m coming with you no more buts!!” he said and he run out from the room and I just look at him

Kyu.. cho kyuhyun.. that kid is really like you.. the way he act.. the way he speak.. the way he comfort me.. everything.. he is completely like you.. seeing him is like seeing the little you..

I laugh at the thought and agreed on what hyunnie said to me since I know that I can’t argue on things like that to me.. I guess we should visit the secret room too.. since he never go there and he will love it since he really loves book like kyu..

I got form my seat and look around the room.. I should get ready or hyunnie will whine about me being so slow..

I go to the bathroom and get dress as I can here hyunnie shouting at the living room..

“UMMA! PALLE!!” he shouted and I smile as he was really a little kyu to me

“A MINUTE!!” I yelled as I put the last pair of shoes on my feet and stood up going out of the room

“aish!! Umma.. uncle siwon was waiting for us.. palle!!” he said as he run towards me and grab my hands and pull me outside

Seeing siwon waiting leaning on the car and smiling at us as he saw us walking towards him..

“this guy really a slowpoke..” hyunnie said to siwon as he pouted

Siwon look at hyunnie and laugh

“well this guy is your umma hyunnie.. you are really like your appa” he said as he mess hyunnie’s hair and I laugh

“I know.. umma told me that million times a day” he said as he smirk at us and get inside the car

“did I saw kyu on that smirk?” siwon said as he go to his area and get inside

I just smile.. since hyunnie is always with me I somehow see him as kyu and love him like the way I love kyu.. I’m really happy having hyunnie at my side since he was like making me happy a little bit when I misses kyu..

As we arrive at the school hyunnie’s eyes was so round and big..

“umma this is your school?” he ask as he look at me and I nod

As the car stop hyunnie immediately get off the car and stretch his little body and smile..

“WAAAAHHH!!!” he yelled and laugh as he saw the school ground

Siwon and I laugh at his little gesture and he pouted

“we better get moving” I said and he nod and look at siwon

“uncle.. you stay here.. I’ll accompany umma today.. don’t disturb us arasso?” he said as he put his serious tone on it

Siwon on the other hand got  shock on what hyunnie said but smiled and him and nod

“arasso” he answered as he eyed me and I muttered a simple forgiveness for hyunnie’s attitude

As we leave I stop in the entrance door of the school and I look at hyunnie and sit so that we have the same level

“hyunnie.. listen to your umma arasso?” I said as I eyed him he just nod

“don’t talk to uncle siwon like that.. he was older than you.. he’s your hyung.. so respect him and don’t act like a grown up too much” I said as I put my hands on his face

He just stare at me and I pleaded

“I know that umma.. but if I don’t act like that who will be on your side and take care of you.. even though I don’t know appa personally I promise to him that I will take care of you and be like you and siwon hyung.. if I don’t do it appa will get mad at me for sure.. I don’t want to see you crying umma.. I want you to be happy.. I want to give you comfort when you needed.. but if i act on my age I can’t do that and it will turn out like you will be the one taking care of me..” he said as he look at me with those expression like kyu when he was explaining something

I look at him and smile.. that really is something but I want him to respect siwon after all..

“but sometimes.. talk siwon like he was older than you arasso?” I said as I kiss his cheeks

“bribery.. arasso” he said as he laugh and nod

“good.. now we will go to your appa’s paradise” I said as I stood up and I can see hyunnie’s face lighten up and smile

As we walk towards the library the smile on hyunnie’s face got wider and I can sense that he was so excited being here..

We walk toward the door of the secret room and I get the key on my pocket and open the door..

“umma do appa and you only have key here?” he ask as he look up on me and I nod and smile

I open the door and saw the same old place of this place

“this is your appa’s paradise.. his secret room” I said as I entered the room and hyunnie run towards the books

“appa’s collection?” he ask as he look at the various books in the shelves

“yes” I said as he motioned his mouth like saying “owwww”

As he was scanning the books and me just sitting in the sofa looking at the falling snow on the window I smile at the thought that at last I get the chance of letting hyunnie this room..

As I look at hyunnie I saw him staring at the board and I saw it was empty.. kyu probably erased everything.. I said to myself which gain a pain in my heart

Hyunnie get a chalk and started writing on the board and I stood as I want to know what he was writing..

“what was that?” I ask as I get nearer at him

“a letter.. to appa” he said as he look at me and smiled and proceed again on his thing

Appa,

Annyeong.. Cho kyuhyun imnida.. I know we have the same name.. well it was umma gave me.. J how are you appa? i know you know who am i.. you leave umma with a child in your tummy you babo!! But it was ok.. I know you love him so much and you have the reason for that.. but better explain to us afterwards arasso?? I’m already 5 years old right now.. look! You was gone for 5 years.. but still we are waiting.. I know you will read this..

Appa.. umma cried a lot you know that? Every time he remember you he cried.. even  though you are my father I will never forgive you if you let umma cry because of you.. our goal is to make him happy and protect him right.. I’m doing my job so do yours too..

I know I’m talking like I was not a kid anymore well umma always telling me that.. but it’s ok.. I was like you remember? And I really look like you appa!! J lucky right? (since umma look like a monkey)

Love you appa!! miss you already!! Take care!!

-your hyunnie

I read what he said and I almost cried on the content.. aish!! This child of mine.. he really know what to say to his father… to prevent the tears coming i look at him and pouted..

“yah.. hyunnie.. how come you told appa I look like a monkey?” I said as I pouted and he smiled

“umma.. don’t deny the truth you look like one.. I know appa will agree on it” and he laugh hard

I just laugh at the thought.. kyu will definitely agree since he once called me monkey..

We didn’t stayed in the room for a long time since I know we need to go to the garden and put something there.. hyunnie just get a few books from the room which I know he will read it since he love doing it..

As we left the room and proceed on the garden I feel nervousness on my heart but it faded away when I felt a little hand holding me tightly and I look at hyunnie and he smiled..

It was snowing and it was really cold so I decided that after that we will left since I don’t want my little hyunnie to get sick..

As we arrive on the place everything stop as I saw a guy standing on the place where we buried the rose.. we was wearing a bonnet and a thick clothes that really covered his entire body and facing the back on us..

Kyu…

Hyunnie look at me and he ask..

“appa?” he whispered as I muttred at him that I don’t know..

I approach the person..

“excuse me? Kyu?” I said as my heart started beating so fast as this guy might be the person I was looking for all those time..

He slowly look at my side..

Get rid of the bonnet..

Get rid of the mouth mask..

shock written on my face as I saw the person..

“kibum?” I said as I saw kibum the person standing on the place and placing a present on the grave of the little rose

Hyunnie look at me and he look at the other guy

“who are you?” hyunnie ask and kibum gave him a smile

“hyunnie.. he’s a friend of mine during my highschool times.. remember uncle donghae?? He was his husband.. he left and go to states to work” I said so that hyunnie will never ask anything anymore

“annyeong.. cho kyuhyun imnida” hyunnie said ashe bowed and smiled

Kibum look at me and I show a questioning look

“annyeong hyunnie.. kim kibum imnida” kibum said as he mess hyunnie’s hair

Everything right now is a mystery.. why is he here?? How come he’s the one placing a present on the grave?

I look at him and our eyes met..

“why are you here?” I said as seriousness covered my whole question

He just look at me and smile faded on his lips

“why. Are. You. Here?” I ask again as my tone is a bit harsh this time

“hyung..” he said as he lowered his head

“as far as I know..it’s only me, kyu and siwon knows this things.. how come you know this and you’re the one who was doing all those stuff?” I ask as I was intently looking at him

He gulped an imaginary lump on his throat and look at me..

“kyu was..” he said as he was looking at me but a voice interrupted him

“kibum!!” the voice said and I look back seeing siwon standing at a far

“siwon?” I said as I look at him in disbelief

“let me tell him the truth” he said as he look at me

“the truth?” I ask as I was looking at him and he noded

“but first let go inside the campus.. hyunnie might catch a cold.. kibum contact everyone else” he said as he walk back and towards the campus

Hyunnie look at me was really confuse on everything and so did i..

Everyone?? Everyone know the truth and I’m the one who was no idea about it?? I feel like I was stabbed at the back knowing that I was the only one that don’t have an idea what was happening..

As we settled on the old room we are using.. we waited on everyone else..

First kangin hyung and leeteuk hyung arrived and saw the sadness on their eyes.. then the wookmin couple which I haven’t seen for so long and lastly donghae which settle beside kibum..

“what was going on?” hyunnie ask and everyone’s eyes look at the kid beside me

“your child?” sungmin said as he look at me and I nod

“hyunnie introduce yourself to your hyungs..” I whispered and hyunnie nod and walk in the center gaining a smile to everyone

“annyeong!! Cheonun cho kyuhyun imnida.. I know I know.. I look like my appa.. everyone told me that right uncle siwon?” he said as he bowed and look at siwon

“by the way.. uncle siwon.. I told you not to go where we are right? But you never listen” he said as he look at him and glare at him

As he walk away and then show his famous smirk..

“he really is kyu” leeteuk hyung whispered but I can really hear him

I cut everything as I want to know what was going on..the truth..

“what was going on here?? Mind to tell me?” I said as I can feel hyunnie’s hand on my hand

“first.. hyukie.. kyu was sick” leeteuk hyung said as he lowered his head

“sick?” I said as pain started to build up in my chest

“yes.. brain tumor.. he need to be hospitalized that’s the reason he leave you” leeteuk hyung answered

Tears flow in my eyes as everyone look at me

“everyone knows about it.. first it was only me, leeteuk hyung and kangin hyung who knows about everything.. kyu don’t want to tell everyone since he don’t like to hurt all of you.. but his sickness gone worst and he ask for the doctor to give him 1 week and he will accept the confinement..” siwon said as he look at me and I can’t stop crying

“remember the time he ask you to be with him for a week it that was that.. but his body gave up and that is the reason why he didn’t show up on the 2 meeting you have.. after that he told everyone about his sickness and ask for their help to broke up with you since he don’t want you to get hurt.. and he wants you to move on easily.. that was the time you saw him kissing yoona.. and he left..” he continued

I can hear a sniff beside me and I saw hyunnie crying and sniffing.. I brush his tears away but look at me..

“I’m ok umma” he said as he hold my hand tightly

“he suffered a lot in the hospital.. the pain came rapidly.. but even though he experiences those he evne go every 24^th of the month to put something on the grave.. the time he went back in the hospital crying.. he said he saw your letter on the board and he wants to hug you and told you everything but he know that you will get hurt.. he endure everything.. I promise him that I will take care of you that’s why I never leave your side” siwon said as he lowered his head and I can sense that he was crying

“I really didn’t go to the state hyukie.. I was the one who was looking for kyu.. hae knows that since he sometimes accompanied me in the hospital.. he suffered a lot.. at night he will scream because of the pain he was experiencing.. the injections he receive.. everything was a mess.. but he always telling me that he need to be strong and will go back to the two of you.. yes! He know that hyunnie is with you.. he was really happy knowing that hyunnie grew up well.. but today.. his body was really giving up so he ask me to go to the garden and put the present on it.. he don’t want to break the promise you both made up” kibum said and that was the time I cried so hard

Hyunnie hug me tightly and kissing my head as for me to calm down..

“where’s appa?” hyunnie said as he look at everyone else as I cried and cried

“in the hospital” kibum said as he look at hyunnie like he was at the same age as us

“umma.. stop crying.. I now appa will be strong for us” he said as he lift my face up and kiss my forehead

“I’m here for you umma.. I’ll never leave you.. we will go to appa arasso?” he said but I can see traces of tears in his face but smile was plastered in his face

This kid.. he’s the one where I can get strength..

“hyunnie come here” leeteuk hyung said as he showed his dimple smile and hyunnie look at him and into me as I nod as he jump and run towards leeteuk hyung

“hyunnie.. no matter what happen never leave your umma arasso?” leeteuk hyung said to hyunnie

“even if you don’t said those I will still do that” hyunnie answered and leeteuk hyung raise an  eyebrow

“this kid.. he got kyuhyun’s tongue” kangin hyung said as leeteuk hyung pouted and hyunnie run and sat beside me hugging me

“siwon.. I want to see kyu” I said and everyone look at me and siwon noded

“it’s about time” he said as he smiled at me