Doubts
My Gangster PrinceDaehyun's POV
"Oppa, can I come in please?" My girl asked me while knocking my door.
"No." I turned her down flat.
"Please? Just awhile. If you're not happy or anything, you can shut me out later but please, just let me talk to you for just awhile." She pleaded. I could hear the sadness in her voice when she said I could shut her out later. My heart made me open the door. I glared at her, not really meaning it. My eyes had minds of their own.
"How did you get those?" She mumbled, palm reaching for my face but I turned away. She withdrew her hand.
"Fight. Is that all you wanna ask?" I snapped back. I was still angry.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because I want you to feel how it feels like seeing me get hurt! I wonder whether you will feel the same way as I feel when I see you in bruises. I always wondered why you always keep things from me. So are you feeling anything now? Maybe not because the feelings we have for each other are probably at different levels, thats why we feel differently right? How you could keep things from me so easily, its like I'm not even there!" I shouted. I saw her flinch at my volume but I was too overwhelmed by anger to do anything. What the hell am I even sprouting?
"Why are you saying all this?! I feel like someone is twisting my heart everytime I see you in bruises! Why are you saying our feelings are at different levels?! Oppa I love you! I really do!! Can't you feel or at least see?!" She shouted back at me, her tears flowing yet again. My heart hurt a little but my brain shook that feeling away.
"Really? Then prove it!" I grabbed her face and forcefully tried to kiss her. She pushed my chest preventing me from doing so. She then started to hit my chest. After a few seconds, I snapped out of it. What the hell was I doing?! I slowly released my grip on her face. What has gotten into me for behaving like that?! I stared at her for a few seconds not knowing what to do. Then, I went back in and slammed the door.
My back slided down my door. I was in shock. Why did I even do that? Why was I even doubting her? You should know how much you mean to her, stupid! Why did I even talk about this? We were supposed to be talking about how hurt I am seeing her covered in bruises and not about me doubting her love. We were supposed to be resolving our arguement but here I am escalating it. I wanted to apologise to her there and then but my stupid pride got in the damn way. What proof do I need seriously? When every other day were the evidence? Stupid stupid stupid! Damn it! Now how is my princess gonna think of me? I bet now in her eyes, I'm a dirty ert.
"Oppa! Open the door! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!" She started banging the door. I didn't want to open. How am I supposed to face her now? Stupid hands! Stupid lips! Why is she apologizing when I'm the one that hurt her?
After awhile, the banging on the door stopped and I heard a loud slamming of the door. Good job Jung Daehyun. You just forced your first and only love out of your house with your own bare hands. How much I wanted to chop them off. I sat there regretting my actions.
~~~~~'s POV
"So are you feeling anything now? Maybe not because the feelings we have for each other are probably at different levels, thats why we feel differently right? How you could keep things from me so easily, its like I'm not even there!"
Why did those words come out from his mouth? Did I not do enough to show him how much he means to me? Does he know whatever he said burnt me?
"Why are you saying all this?! I feel like someone is twisting my heart everytime I see you in bruises! Why are you saying our feelings are at different levels?! Oppa I love you! I really do!! Can't you feel or at least see?!" I shouted back, not being able to control my emotions. I really felt hurt seeing him in bruises. I understood why he flared at me. He had every right to. Afterall, he did say he would have reacted the same way I did when he was covered with bruises. I regretted after realising how loud I was. I was supposed to be talking with him, not shouting at him.
"Really? Then prove it!" Before I knew it, he roughly grabbed my face, forcefully trying to kiss me. I would have kissed him if that was Daehyun. At that point of time all I saw was a stranger. The Daehyun I know would never do that to me. I could smell the strong scent of alcohol lingering on his body. I know he wasn't him. I slapped his chest repeatedly. After a few seconds, he seemed to snap out of it. He loosen his grip around my face and dropped his hands. He stood there in a daze and then turned his back, entered his room and slammed the door in my face.
Did I hit him too hard till he was mad at me? I know I said he could shut me out if he wasn't happy or anything but I didn't know he would really do it and I didn't know it would hurt this much. Was this how he felt when I kept him out from my room the other time?
"Oppa! Open the door! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!" I started banging the door. I stopped after awhile knowing he's not gonna open the door since I was the one that said he could shut me out. What was I thinking when I said that?
I sat by his door, leaning against the wall, just hoping he would come out soon. The feeling of sitting there wasn't comforting at all. I was dying inside. I kept thinking what is going on behind the wall I was leaning on, Daehyun's room. Was this what he was feeling when he waited outside mine? How did he do it for hours when I'm already suffering in less than fifteen minutes? Was he spot on? He loved me more than I loved him?
Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I could only mouth a silent scream as the pain was eating me. I tried to get up by using the wall as support. I walked to my room which wasn't very far from his room. I accidentally slammed my room door a little too hard. I began to search my table for my medication. I guessed it was because I didn't eat that's why the pain came. After fiddling with the stuff on my table, I finally found the plastic bag where I kept my pills. I searched for my gastric pills only to find the packet empty.
I was in great pain, I stumbled towards my door, using whatever energy I have left to slowly turn the door knob. I clutched onto my stomach while I slowly made my way to Daehyun's room. I know how he felt now so no point hiding from him anymore. I didn't know if Daehyun was still mad at me but I plucked my courage to knock on his door when I felt a throbbing pain in my stomach.
"Oppa..." I knocked his door.
Was supposed to update a day or two ago but I was having writer's block and can't think of how to write this chapter. haha~ I just have to force something out for all my dear readers today! hope its not crappy. Sorry if this is a little shorter than usual. I thought really long on how to write this... blame this for the agressive side of Daehyun. haha~
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc93l73oOI1qh497co4_250.gif
Updating also because B.A.P released their teaser for Stop It! can't wait for the full track!!
Sad to say, the story might come to an end soon but not so soon. what am I saying? haha~
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