***

“Happiness is like a Butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” – Unknown

***

Hangeng plopped down the couch and swiped his hands over his face, trying to ease the creeping headache. Dealing with Victoria has always been so complicated but the conversation that they had earlier has totally drained him out.

His breathing was hard, trying to sort his thoughts back in place. Victoria was right, he need to get his motive right. He can’t let himself waver just because the feebleness of his heart.

He knew it was all his fault for getting involved with this game. To tell the truth, he is the one that initiated this whole swindling thing with Victoria. He was blinded with the hunger for revenge. Jung Enterprise owes him so much that the only way to sate all the pain and agony was vengeance. He had vowed to smash and cripple everyone with the name of Jung just like what they had done to his father.

The head of Jung had taken literally almost everything from him; his family, his company, everything. His father used to work for the head of Jung Enterprise, dedicating his whole life, devoting all his loyalty to that cold man, who care about nothing but the hunger for power. To say that his father was committing himself like a slave was not an understatement. His father was the one sweeping away all the dirty deeds of the Jung, and at the end of the day his allegiance was nothing but his own key to destruction.

He let out a frustrated sigh. He never knew that his involvement with Sooyeon had made him to have a change of mind. Getting close to her, watching her determination and witnessing her ups and downs had made Hangeng to question his decision once again. Her smile was so earnest, and he had also witnessed those soft brown eyes glistening with pain that had made him want nothing but to erase those agony from marring her features. She didn’t deserve all the hatred just because of someone else’s wrong doings.

But he was obliged to Victoria because of the favor that her family had done to him. The Hans had picked him up when he was being crashed to the lowest state one could ever imagine living. They raised him up to a respectable young man that he is now. But behind his calm exterior there is a dark and insatiable grudge waiting to be released. 

He had promised to help her achieve her destination in this game, and that is none other than Siwon. He figured that he had nothing to lose anyway, and somehow Siwon is like the key to open the door to his reprisal.

He reached for the mini bar inside of his apartment. He gulped the intoxicating liquid down his throat. He was torn in between the ravenous need for a revenge and the little piece of morality that was starting to emerge slowly within him.

He groaned in frustration, because deep inside, he knew that he was trying so hard to deny the fondness that he had started to feel towards Sooyeon. He has to do it, or he can bid farewell to everything that he had built for almost of his lifetime.

~~~

The meeting will start at two, but Sooyeon had decided that it will be a smart move to make a quick revision on her paperwork beforehand. Furthermore, she didn’t want to risk being late for her first project meeting. She didn’t want to catch anymore attention than she has already gotten. The incident during the last presentation must not happen again.

“Can I come in?”

A soft accented voice caught her attention from her paperwork that was scattered in front of her. She can see Han Geng familiar figure entering the meeting room and slowly approaching her.

“You’re early.” Sooyeon said with a soft smile before gesturing for Han Geng to take a seat next to her.

“Well, obviously you are way earlier than I am… Nervous?” He asked.

“Maybe.” Sooyeon answered, trying her best to hide away any sign of uneasiness that she knew was clearly reflected in her features. She was very much aware of the fact that she was always so bad at hiding her emotions.

“Uh-huh.” Han Geng teased lightly, trying to lighten the tense mood surrounding her, and she answered him with a soft smile. Her soft pale skin was a little flushed, and somehow it made her look even more enchanting than she already is.

She is such an open book sometimes, especially when she was around the people who are close to her, like Siwon and Kyuhyun. There is nothing that she can hide from those two, and in a way that was one of her weakest virtues because she knows that when you let your feelings show, it will be easier to let others to have control over you. Siwon had once said that to her.

Siwon. The name clicked a thought at the back of her mind.

It has been quite a while since she last faced him. Not that she was avoiding him, but the occurrences that had taken place somehow drawn a big gap between them. She turned her attention back to the piles of documents in front of her, trying to get Siwon out of her mind. This is not the right time to linger around any personal affairs, she reminds herself.

“It’s going to be okay. Have some faith in yourself.” Han Geng assured as he sensed the change of her expression but then his eyes immediately caught the sight of her bandaged hand.

“What happened?” Instinctively, he reached for her small hand and a wave of worry flashed over him as he carefully inspected the strapping.

Sooyeon was taken aback by the sudden closure of personal space between them, and retracted her hand. But clearly she missed the pained look on Han Geng face upon the act.

“Oh, it’s nothing to fuss about, really. Just a small accident in the kitchen.” She explained. Han Geng is a colleague, and she intended it to stay that way.

Han Geng was about to make a comment before Sooyeon’s secretary entered the meeting room with several men and women tailing right behind her. Sooyeon and Han Geng raised from their seats to welcomed and gesturing them to take their seats and of course, there are two familiar faces that both of them immediately reckoned.

Siwon and Victoria.

Han Geng raised his brow upon seeing Victoria chirpy mood as she made her own way to sit next right to Siwon. She seemed to be very exuberant for a business meeting and Han Geng silently prayed that bubbly mood of hers won’t cause any sort of languish to others, or more specifically to Sooyeon.

Sooyeon on the other hand stole a few glances to Siwon who is clearly putting on his best poker mask. His expression was unreadable and somehow, dark. But Sooyeon knows that it was no longer the right time to dwell on her personal sentiment and she decided that she can do it later when she has a chance to be alone with him. A coffee talk like they used to have together somehow looked very appealing. She tried to give Siwon a longing look but he was clearly too busy with the documents in front of him to take notice of her.

~~~

Sooyeon took a long deep breath of relief because the meeting had gone smoothly as she had planned it to be. It ended after almost 2 hours later when the corporations had come to an agreement to seal their venture.

Jung Enterprise will behold 45% of the major shares, 40% was given to Han Group and the other 15% was allocated for Choi Empire. Sooyeon was selected to lead the team for the venture unanimously. This project will be her first one after entering the corporate world. It thrilled her, but in a way there was a slight uncertainty surrounding her mind.

As everything settled back into its pace as the tense of strict business protocols were no longer there, Victoria stood up from her seat, catching the attention of the occupants of the room who was preparing for dismissal.

“Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for this sudden announcement but I promise it won't take much of your time.” She beamed happily.

The attention was all now on her; everyone was clearly interested in hearing whatever the next legatee of Han Group had in her mind.

“My apology for this sudden announcement, but I just want to share this happy news with everyone here today.” She said said with a happy grin that touched her features and she took a quick glimpse at Siwon. 

“Choi Siwon-sshi and I… we’re getting engaged in 3 weeks time.”

~~~

Sooyeon entered her room as soon as the meeting ended and almost throwing the files in her hands out of frustration. She is angry, but she can’t make up the cause of it or any sort of relevant reason that can actually explain the spreading anger in her, because she can only vaguely understand why she is livid at the first place.

She also wanted to cry, but for what cause? Siwon is getting engaged, she is supposed to be happy about it, isn’t she? But then the thought of Siwon with Victoria clouded her mind to no end. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to erase the flashing image of him with someone else.

It pained her, knowing that Siwon had made such a big decision of his life without even care to let her know even a word of it. It is a fact that Siwon had been withdrawing himself lately, but that is not enough of a reason to suddenly come up with such a big news like this. Siwon who had always been with her like her third hands was missed sorely. She missed all the little things with him like the warm smile that never fails to melt the coldness of her heart and the little touches on her hand as if he was confirming that he will be beside of her no matter what happens.

It’s not fair. Do their years of friendship mean nothing at all to him? But she knows, despite of all that they had had together, all of these years of affection and attachment did not give her any right to have a say in his future. Siwon is a full grown up man, and certainly wise enough to make his own decision about his life.

She breathed deeply, her hand sweeping through her face as she walked to the large window in her room. She let her mind wander through the brick jungle in front of her as if those tall buildings will be able to stop her from having this intense battle of thoughts.

This is not right. It is not right for her to have this feeling when all that Siwon was doing is moving with  the course of his life, doing what a man of his age supposed to do. And Victoria, she is perfect for Siwon. She is bright, clever; a very successful businesswoman that was blessed with the same amount of gorgeousness. Definitely a perfect match for Siwon.

Sooyeon was too preoccupied with her thought that she had missed the soft knock on her door and the one that had been clouding her mind had slipped into the room.

“Hey.” Siwon said, his voice is hoarse as he greeted her.

She almost jumped from the spot where she has been standing, and she can feel her lips quivering to respond to the greeting, but the lump in had prevented her from making any word out of it.

“Congratulations on your first project, you’ve done such a good job. Your grandfather must be proud of you.” Siwon smiled while he said that but there was something about that smile that made it look so alien to her.

She had forgotten how to react, because seeing him suddenly in her room had made her realize that she missed him to the point of aching. But what exactly does she want from Siwon? Friendship? Affection? Or love? But all along, she knows that her love is for Kyuhyun.

“Are you alright?” Siwon asked when he saw no reaction from her.

“Of course!” She said,a little bit too rushed as if it will masked her raging emotion from Siwon.

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Congratulations… on your engagement.” Sooyeon uttered softly and at the same time trying to put the happiest face while pushing the ache in her heart away.

“Thanks.” Come the short answer from Siwon.

She wanted to burst all the supposed reaction that one should say when they are congratulating someone, but those words feel so heavy on her lips and even heavier on her heart.

Silence plays its role in between them. Their last occurrence didn’t end up well, but to bring that issue back in the scene will turns the situation even more tense that it had already been. But this is Sooyeon that she is facing at the moment. The one that filled him even in his dreamless sleep.

“How’s Kyuhyun doing?” Siwon said, never the one who enjoys being in an awkward stillness, what more with Sooyeon. They used to talk for hours, but at the very moment it seems that he had run out of the basic bits of conversation.

“Good. We’re doing good. Everything had fallen to the way it is supposed to be again.” She said, but there’s a hint of annoyance in her tone.

“… and he’s going to move in.”

His eyes were painting a look that looked so foreign to her. A flash of anger, pain or maybe jealousy. But Sooyeon was not able to specifically put a name on it. She also had no idea why she even bombards the news and lied to him in the first place. There is no such plan between her and Kyuhyun, but she can handle that persuasion with Kyuhyun later. She needs him near anyway. It will be easier for her to monitor his health that way.

But at the moment, in front of Siwon it feels like it is necessary for her to somehow get even with Siwon. He had surprised her earlier, and Sooyeon hopes that her statement would make him feel at the very least half of what she had felt earlier.

“Really? Well, that’s…” Siwon was interrupted by the buzz of Sooyeon’s cell phone. She looked at the screen and Kyuhyun’s name was beeping urgently.

“I have to pick this up, if you can excuse me for a moment.” She makes her way pass Siwon to answer the call in the privacy of her own and away for Siwon.

However, Siwon hand was fast in gripping her slim wrist, trying to stop her from leaving the room, her own room in that matter as if Siwon’s presence was some kind of interruption to her. What is Siwon to her then? Is Siwon so insignificant in her life that she can’t even answer a personal call when he is present?

“Can’t it wait? It’s been a long time since we last talked.” His tone was cold, and unconsciously he tightened the grip on her wrist.

“I have to pick this up…” She flinched and trying to break free from his clutch.

And her action did nothing but flicked the pent up emotions that he had been putting up with for all this while.

“Who am I to you, Sooyeon? Am I so insignificant in your life? Does my presence is nothing but a  bother to you? Is there no place for me in your life?” He asked, eyes fixed on her soft features that was painted with pain as she was struggling to set his grip free from her.

“What is it that you’re hiding from me that you can’t even pick that freaking call in front of me, huh?”

“Why are you acting like this? ... You’re hurting me!”

“That call can wait. We need to talk Sooyeon.” He said, and his voice was thick with repremind tenor.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about, Oppa. You are the one asserting it that way. So stop acting like someone that you’re not, Choi Siwon.” Her breathing was harsh but Siwon made no move to let her off.

 “It’s Kyuhyun!! He needs me… More than you did.” She said, soft brown eyes already glistening with tears.

The assertion of Kyuhyun has somehow brought him back to reality. Of course, Kyuhyun. How can he forget about the younger man. And he clearly had made a fool out of himself to think that the look on her face when his engagement was announced was out of something that was beyond their friendship. He blamed the wash of guilt that sweep through his veins when she dashed out of the meeting room with the look of shock evident on her face.

He should not better that there is no such thing in between them from the very beginning.  The thought had made him to lose his grip and  Sooyeon immediately slipped from his grasp and left the room.

“What if… What if I need you as much as he did? Will you act the same way you’re acting now?” He whispered into the thin air.

~~~

“Are you okay Jung Sooyeon?”

Kyuhyun looked at her face, soft smile plastered on his face as they were having their dinner on one of their favorite restaurants.

She nodded softly, the fork in her hand devouring the dish in front of her but make no move to actually eat. Kyuhyun had noticed that her expression was not the usual façade that she always had when they’re together. He let it slip at first, thinking that maybe the course of work had taken a toll on her. He never understands the quirk of working in the corporate world that Sooyeon had decided to take part in. He can’t imagine working and trapped in a full-conditioned room, dealing with countless meetings and so. Sometimes, he feels obliged to bring her out from this stiff world but he let his thought went unattended because he knows all along that this is what Sooyeon had always wanted and expected to do.

“So… tell me about your meeting.”

“Well…” She paused, taking a sip of water before finally meeting Kyuhyun’s gaze.

“It was a success. I got the contract and I’m in charge of this project.” She explained a little bit half-heartedly. Kyuhyun has mastered the art of reading her and he can immediately point out that something is very wrong with his lover tonight.

“I know… You’ve told me that. Come on, there must be some sort of interesting bits and pieces that I can make fun of right? Like an overweight bald man trapped in his too tight suit in the meeting room or something.”

“There’s no such thing Cho Kyuhyun. And for your information, I’ve never worked with anyone like that. Not everyone in this line of business is as typical as you said they are.”

“Yeah, figured. Now, eat up.” He said before starting to resume on his dinner.

“Oppa…”

“Hurm?” Kyuhyun looked up, looking at her, and the tone behind her voice is enough of an indicator that whatever that she is going to spill in a moment is not going to be a pleasant news.

“Siwon Oppa… did you know that he is going to get engaged?”

Well, obviously this is a news to him as he feels that he had lost the ability to properly swallow his food upon hearing Sooyeon bursting such news.

“Eng…. Engaged? What? When?” He asked, not caring when his tone had caused the couple next to him to look at him with an unpleasant gaze.

“In 3 weeks time. They… well, Victoria announced it after the meeting today. Don’t you think that this is too sudden? He didn’t even say a word to us about this.”

“Victoria?” The name came out almost like a whisper from Kyuhyun.

He was gasping in shock, not knowing how to react to the sudden spurt of news like this. He assumed that this piece of news was the sole reason for Sooyeon’s behavior. Well, he couldn’t blame her, could he? This is such a big thing, and Siwon had decided to keep it a secret from them. No words, no explanation, no nothing. This is very unlikely of Siwon.

He remembered the last time that they had a conversation about Siwon and his reluctance to get into a serious relationship. He can clearly remember the older saying that he is not particularly interested in getting to such matter. And that was when? Like a month ago or so. What more getting into engagement. He had known Siwon well enough to know that he won’t resort to such act in a rush.

But there’s a pang of guilt that washed over him. He knows, Siwon was in love with her. Just like him. He cursed silently at the twisted fate that had made them into this tangled situation.

Will it be easier if he just gives her up, so that they didn’t have to keep on trapped in this mess?

Will it make them happier if he just surrender to the fate that was waiting for him?

Will it be better for all of them?

But staring into those soft brown eyes, listening to the sound of her voice, feeling those hands on his skin made him realized that he is never going to let her go. Not even to Siwon. But how long will he drag this game off? How long will fate gave him the chance to do so?

~~~

TBC

A/N: I’m seriously experiencing a writer’s block. :(