***

“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even exist anymore. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.” – Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun.

~~~

After the incident with Sooyeon last night, Siwon received a call from his mother asking him to return to his family house. Siwon knows there must be something important happening or going to happen whenever his mother called him so suddenly like that but he obeys to his mother's command as usual. He drove back straight from the hospital to his family house and decided to sleep his morning off before meeting his mother later on.

He ignored the sound of the chirping birds and the peeking sunlight that found its way through the thick curtain of his room. He is a morning person, and even though he still very drained and tired from the occasions that had happened around him lately, Siwon find himself not being able to sleep in through the morning. His body just refused to do so, as it is clearly out of his habit to sleep in the morning. Even so, today Siwon just refused to leave his bed and started his day as he usually did.

Siwon lies on his king sized bed stiffly; he felt so restless and at the very moment he doesn’t even want to even move a finger but he let out a heavy frustrated sigh nonetheless. He rubs his eyes before he stares at the white ceiling in his bedroom searching for something that he doesn’t even know what.

Tranquillity? No.

Peace of mind? From what?

He uses his hand to rub his face roughly, hoping that it might somehow brush away the burden that is settling heavily on his shoulders. There is only one name clouding his mind at the very moment, and he knows better than to lie to himself.

Jung Sooyeon. It is always Sooyeon. Truth to be told, Siwon had reached a point where he felt tired of loving her in vain. He wanted to run, run away from the tormenting feeling that has been draining him more than anything ever could.

A wave of guilt washed over him as the incident with Sooyeon last night flashed repeatedly in his mind. For the very first time in his life, he had raised his voice to the very one person that he swear with all his heart to protect and love unconditionally just because of the stupid jealousy that he knows not supposed to be there to begin with.

Sooyeon loves Kyuhyun. That is a fact. And it is so stupid of him to dare to hope that Sooyeon will choose him over Kyuhyun. He knows he is making a fool of himself; but who is Siwon kidding? Love is not something that can be washed away in an overnight; no matter how hard he tried to detach himself from Sooyeon, from the infinitive love that he knows won’t be reciprocated back; Siwon can’t bring himself to run from her.

Sometimes, he told himself that he is Choi Siwon; literally the most sought-after bachelor in Korea. Just the mention of his name can melt thousands of girls’ heart away. He knows he is being a fool for letting himself trapped in the love triangle that he created by himself. He refused to let go, and there is a price to pay for it. Pain and agony are now his best companions.

A soft knock on his door jerked Siwon off his thoughts. He cupped his face to swallow the frustrated feeling that is engulfing him before he sits up slowly on his bed. He doesn’t want to be disturbed; he wanted to stay on the bed all day long to nurse his heart alone. But he knows he can’t; because why? Because he is Choi Siwon; Choi Siwon that everyone looks up as the respectable young man, a filial son, and most importantly the only heir to the Choi business empire. He has duties and expectations to meet.

“Come in.” He said as he combed his hand through his dark messy hair.

“Young master.” His butler soft and familiar voice greeted him and Siwon can somehow guess what is in store for him. The middle age man was like a second father to him; that man practically raised him up more that his own parents ever did. He respected and looked up to him, and there are lots of circumstances when Siwon is more comfortable to turn to his butler rather than to speak up to his parents.

His father was always out of town, and his mother has been always so preoccupied with all sorts of social gathering and whatnot. His father was a chief example of a successful and powerful businessman. He devoted his life mainly to work and even though he portrays himself as a family man, Siwon knows that it is not quite true. He rarely sees his father, but he pays great respect for his old man nonetheless. His father is a man of his words, strong to his principles and knows exactly what it takes to be successful. Since he was a kid, he always wanted to become like his father, and so far he can feel that he had reached none of his father’s accomplishments.

“Madam requested from you in an hour in the main room, because the guest will arrive anytime soon.” The soft informing voice that fill Siwon’s senses sounded so calming just like the lullaby that the man used to employ as if he was still a 10 year old.  

“Is there any special occasion or anything?” Siwon asked him as he stood up on his feet to reach for his ensuite. His mother had refused to fill him in when he asked her about her sudden request for him earlier.

“Madam said that she will explain to you later.” The butler said with an unreadable expression plastered on his wrinkled face.

Siwon scrunched his face in confusion seeing his butler's expression, is it just him or everybody has something that they don’t want him to know? But he knows that his butler won’t know much anyway; his mother is the type that will act according to what is right for her and most of the time ignoring other people’s opinion and feeling just for the sake of achieving whatever plan that she had in mind. She is a woman with a strong personality and practice high etiquette in her everyday life. Of course, he loves his mother, but there are times when he simply disapproved of his mother actions and way of handling things; but he never said anything anyway. Siwon nodded softly to his butler before excusing himself to prepare for the meeting with his mother later.

~~~

Siwon almost can’t believe his own sight when he saw the one sitting beside his mother chatting and laughing happily with one another. The look of utter shocked and disbelieved was evident on his handsome face as he immediately recognized the young woman beside his mother on the main room.

Victoria.

He stood on the stairs almost too stiff as he tries to reason the scene that was taking place in front of him. How Victoria did know his mother, and on what basis had made the two women looked so close and comfortable around each other? Knowing his mother, she is not the one that easily gets well around others very much. He raked his brain trying to point out any connection that his family might have with Victoria’s.

Siwon is so close of retreating back to his room and he already thought of various reasons that he can come up with to avoid whatever had been planned for him when his mother caught the sight of him and her soft voice calling Siwon tenderly.

“Son, there you are.” His mother said with a smile and Siwon returned back the smile that he knows he was faking. Something in his gut is telling him that this lunch date arranged by his mother will not bring any good to him.

Victoria is smiling sweetly to him but Siwon can trace a notice of mock behind it. He doesn’t know what to think or how to act appropriately but still he walks calmly to approach both of the occupants of the luxurious room politely.

“Victoria-sshi.” Siwon called up and nodded softly, an act of gentleman virtue that Siwon had been raised with.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” He stated almost too spontaneously and it had made his mother to give him a very disapproving look.

~~~

Tableware is clicking almost too silently for Siwon liking as they had their lunch together that noon. He is sitting across of Victoria as she is conversing happily with Siwon’s mother.

Siwon on the other hand, keep on munching his food slowly and everything that passed through his throat tasted like a plain rubber to him. Now and then he just gives a nod or a fake smile whenever his mother tried to engage him with their conversation. He is just plain not interested. All he wanted to do now is go back to his own apartment and curled up alone in the comfort of his loneliness. Anything rather than be in the same table with his mother and Victoria acting all civilised when the reality is actually torturing him in almost every way possible.

“Son, don’t you think it’s time for both of you to tie your relationship?” His mother out of the blue blurted out to Siwon almost too casually as if she was talking about the weather.

If Siwon thought that the lunch date that they were currently having is ridiculous enough, his mother sudden statement is even more preposterous and he can’t point out any logical sense out of it.

“I don’t get you.” SIwon stated as he looked at her mother and from the corner of his eyes he can see that Victoria is wearing a very calm expression on her face.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me Siwon-ah. Victoria had told me everything.” His mother stated as she squeezed Siwon hand softly.

“Everything? What everything?” Siwon asked and he can feel his body turned tense upon the sudden declaration from his mother.

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me don’t you? Just let me handle this engagement ceremony okay? Both of you don’t have to worry about anything at all.” His mother stated happily.
 

~~~

“What’s the meaning behind this, Victoria-sshi?” Siwon asked her as he escorted her out to her car after she bid goodbye to his mother.

“What’s the meaning of what?” She asked back with a nonchalant expression evident on her face.

“This whole engagement thing, Victoria-sshi. You know that this doesn’t make any sense, right?” Siwon questioned.

The only answer that Siwon get is only a soft chuckle from Victoria and it is a mock that only provoke his patience thin even more. He had been enduring the urge to lose his patience back then but he knows rage won’t be able to solve anything out.

“This is not funny Victoria. This engagement is NOT going to happen.” Siwon stated and he meant what he said. There is no way that he is going to get engaged to her. His heart doesn’t belong to Victoria.

“Say what you want to say now Siwon. But this engagement will go as your mother has planned.” Victoria stated and the smile on her face is no longer there as if she is trying to threaten him.

“I’ve told you that I want you Siwon. And you should know that I will resort to any possible way to make you mine.”

“Dream on Victoria. You can’t force me. You should know that will hurt both of us even more. I didn’t love you. That is a fact and it’s not going to change no matter what you do.” Siwon said, his tone softens because suddenly the image of Sooyeon is being flashed through his mind as he finished his words. Love is not something that can be forced; he knows that better than anyone else did.

“We’ll see about that.” Victoria said as she reached for her phone, quickly dialling a number and she looked at Siwon with an unreadable expression on her face as she waited for whoever person she had called on the other end to pick up her call.

“Director Lee, Victoria here. I’m calling you regarding the venture proposed by Jung Enterprise. I want you to approve their application and let them know about our approval as soon as possible.” She said gaze still fixed on Siwon’s face.

The look of utter shocked is obvious on Siwon’s face as he heard the name of Jung being mentioned. He knows what this is about; the venture that Sooyeon had been working so hard to acquire, but he is absolutely clueless about Victoria’s sudden approval of the delayed deal. He knows how important the project is to Sooyeon and he knows Victoria is aware of that fact too. He silently prays that Victoria won’t use that reason to manipulate the situation that they’re facing now.

“What are you doing?” Siwon asked still quite taken aback by her sudden act.

“I’m just taking matters to my hand Siwon. I know what I’m doing and I hope you know yours too.” She stated as she takes her cue to leave and let  Siwon hanging with his own thoughts.

TBC

~~~

A/N: Finally, mid semester break!! Now I can sit calmly without any pressure from classes , tests and assignments. I missed writing this story and I actually can’t wait to wrap this story up. Thank you for all the comments and subscriptions. And I’m really thankful for everyone who keeps on supporting this story. Just let me know about your opinions, comments or even critiques okay. And I want to know, who among my readers are up for Kyusica or Wonsica.(it might help me to decide who Sooyeon might end up with) XD

Another update coming soon. Xxx