“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” Federica Garcia Lorca, Blood Weeding

~~~

Kyuhyun watched as Sooyeon buried her face in Siwon’s strong chest, small muffled sobs escaping from her. Siwon is wrapping his protective embrace around Sooyeon and for a brief moment, their gaze met. Kyuhyun thinks that Siwon should look horrified right now, should be apologizing and unwrapping her from his embrace. It would be the right thing that Siwon would and should be doing, but clearly Kyuhyun was wrong; because instead of doing so, Siwon avoided his gaze and acted like Kyuhyun is invisible to him. The older’s eyes that are usually warm and kind looked completely alien to Kyuhyun, with a flash of possessiveness that Kyuhyun was sure he never once seen in Siwon before.

He watched the scene in front of him, and he understood the feeling that nearly knocked him over.

It was anger.

It was jealousy.

It made his blood boil, made him sees red, scattered his heart to broken pieces and it made him wish that he can make Siwon disappear right there and then. Seeing someone else, even when that someone is Siwon; holding Sooyeon, having what used to be his, had grown the seed of hate in him.

But when then the truth him, Kyuhyun knows that he was denied the right to feel whatever emotion he is feeling right now. Kyuhyun grip his fist hard, because that is the only thing that he is capable of doing now. He can’t let his emotion take control over his rational mind, save for the fact that it is not an easy task for him.

Sooyeon is completely unaware of his presence, and somehow Kyuhyun is very grateful to that fact.

He wanted to hold her like he used to, wanted to run his fingers through her soft brown hair, and wanted her and her only. He wanted to push Siwon away, and claim her back to him.

But instead, Kyuhyun decided that he should leave, he is not needed here. Sooyeon has returned home safely and he can survive with that fact. The fact that she seems okay physically and there is Siwon who Kyuhyun knows would do everything to protect and patch her up.

He turned slowly from the two and started to walk down the hallway before his left hand unintentionally knocked over the picture frame on the small table there and he looked at the now scattered pieces of the frame. It was their photo, the photo of them smiling brightly and happily during their summer vacation together. A true smile that looked so completely honest and truthful. Kyuhyun can feel that fate is mocking and laughing at him now, because the picture is actually a torturous reminder about how perfect his life was back then, and now just like that picture, his life was a mess; broken and devastated.

“Oppa!?” A very familiar voice that sounds like music to his ears approached him.

Kyuhyun turned rigid than he ever did before; he knows that now Sooyeon is aware of his presence. He took a deep breath, stilling his racing heartbeat, praying silently before he turned around to face her.

“What are you doing, here?” Sooyeon questioned with her hoarse voice and his eyes rested on the face that he missed terribly. He scanned her thoroughly; her honey-like skin looking paler than usual, her lips dry and chapped, an indicator that she is still not in her best and healthy self.

“I’m leaving.” Kyuhyun replied simply while trying his best to stay composed as his heart is now beating rapidly, he can hear the heartbeats pounding in his ears.

“No, I’ll leave.” Siwon said suddenly. 

Kyuhyun raises a curious brow upon hearing Siwon’s sudden remark. Even though to be with Sooyeon alone at the moment is everything that Kyuhyun had ever wanted, he knows that it is impossible. He is the one supposed to leave, because that is how the fate had been written for him, and despite of how hard he had struggled to fix it, the only way out for him is to admit defeat.

“Did you just make a joke, Hyung?” Kyuhyun retort back to Siwon trying to calm his raging breath; the tense from battling with his inner self is suffocating him.

Siwon is fixing his gaze to Kyuhyun, trying to trace the veiled meaning behind his words. Not wanting to create more mess to the already twisted situation, Siwon walked to leave without saying a word; ignoring the look of confusion on Sooyeon’s face and Kyuhyun’s questioning stare.

“Wait Oppa. Please.” 

A small hand catches Siwon’s wrist, and Siwon turned around to look at Sooyeon with all sorts of question clouded in his mind.

“I have to Sooyeon.” Siwon said, brushing Sooyeon’s hand that is gripping his wrist softly. He then cupped her face in his hands, meeting her light brown eyes.

“You have to work this by yourself, okay.” Siwon said solemnly, because now he is back to his rational self again; the sensible Choi Siwon that knows that he will never ever force his way to get to Sooyeon’s heart.

“But I want you to stay.”

Kyuhyun switched his gaze from Siwon to Sooyeon before it all becomes too much for him to handle. His vision is suddenly blurred; his breathing harder than before and Kyuhyun had to hold to the small table next to him to still himself.

Before Siwon further give any response to Sooyeon, both of them heard a loud thud hitting the floor and they both turn around only to be greeted with the image of unconscious Kyuhyun lying helplessly on the floor.

“Kyuhyun!!!”

~~~                                                                                           

“Jung Sooyeon-sshi?” A soft voice brings Sooyeon from her wandering mind while she sits on one of the benches at the hospital. She is waiting for the doctor to come out from the emergency room where they had taken Kyuhyun in. Siwon had left her alone there because he said that had to deal with the admission and whatnot.

Sooyeon agreed obediently, waiting in the cold hospital hallway with utter confusion accompanying her. She was shocked, terrified and even stunned when Kyuhyun who looks so healthy collapsed suddenly without a single warning.

It was a lie to say that she was not bothered to see Kyuhyun like that. Despite it all, despite the heartbreak, despite the pain that he had caused her, she knew that nothing had changed. Her feeling is still so strong and sturdy for him.  

All sorts of thoughts clouding her mind and she is afraid. Sooyeon is afraid of everything that is and was happening around her; she is afraid that she might not be able to go through it all. Something inside of her tells her that something is not right with Kyuhyun and she is determined to figure it out.

“Yes.” Sooyeon looked up and she saw a young woman greeting her with smile flashes through her face. She rises from his seat, and her mind is so quick to react when she seems to recognize her.

“Aren’t you...” Sooyeon said before she was being cut off. She recognized her. Of course she would recognize her, she is the one that came when Kyuhyun in his apartment the night before they broke up. Some part of Sooyeon wanted to scream at her, because based on her common and logical sense this girl might have been the reason, or if not one of the reasons of why Kyuhyun suddenly bombed her with heartbreak.

“I’m Sooyoung.” She introduced herself and smiling softly again, extending her hand for a handshake.

She looked at the offered hand, and it seems ridiculous and so immature of her but Sooyeon chooses to ignore it and looking away.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I know you.” Sooyeon said as she can feel a sudden mix of jealousy and anger coursing through her veins.

“Please Sooyeon-sshi, can you please let me explain myself first.” She said and her voice sounded pleading.

“I’m not interested.” Sooyeon exclaimed taking her cue to walk away from her.

However, Sooyoung is one that is not easy to give up because she keeps on talking, and when Sooyeon decided to walk away from her, she keeps on tailing her.

“I know you can remember me and I strongly believe that our first occurrence might have left you with a wrong impression about me. I’m not what you think I am. Please, for Kyuhyun. I’m his personal doctor.”

And her last statement had managed to stop Sooyeon’s steps.

“Sorry?” Sooyeon looked at her disbelievingly.

“There’s a lot to explain. Do you mind if we go somewhere more suited for us to talk?”

~~~

TBC