Chapter Title : A Mess

A bitter smile had been staying on his face for the past minutes. A thankful feeling spread over his body because her girlfriend wasn’t looking at him. They were laying lazily in his dorm, forgetting their real life out there. She was laying on him, snoring softly. Yes, she had slept due to the lack of sleep in her daily life.

He softly and slowly put her on his bed, feeling enough to taste each inch of her soft skin. Himchan stayed still, watching how Hyosung moved her head only to find his chest. She let her face being covered with Himchan’s chest. He played a little with her hair, thinking hard to tell her soon. He was planning something, something which may changed their life.

***

Hyosung mumbled some nonsense words, she was waiting Himchan who was filming the new MV for B.A.P’s next mini album. Himchan’s sigh made Hyosung jumped from her seat. She hurriedly approached him, giving him some water. Hyosung took Himchan’s hand and dragged him to sit. “You’ve finished your part right?” She asked, worried that maybe he still had some parts to do. “Of course, babe..” He gave a light kiss on her forehead.

They sat near the other members who kept glancing over them. Hyosung let her hand found its way to Himchan’s. She played on his palm, admired how different the size of their hands. Himchan didn’t take his hand from Hyosung, he just watched her. Loved the scenery just too much.

“Hyosung-ah…Don’t tickling…” Himchan warned her. “Wae? It feels good to touch your skin under my fingers,” Hyosung puffed her cheeks, the other members acted like they just got hit on their faces when Hyosung said it. Himchan, as a boy, knew what was in his friends’ minds. But he just was being a careless.

“That’s not good you know..” Himchan replied calmly. Hyosung pouted then sat on his lap. Hyosung then told Himchan how was her day and Himchan, being a good listener, he replied only with a few of words.

Without realizing it, tears had rolled down on Himchan’s face. Hyosung lifted her eyes to him when she felt wet sensation near her face. “Baby ah.. You’re crying!” Hyosung being panic. “Sshhh.. I’m alright..” Himchan smiled, assuring her that his tears were nothing.

Hyosung wiped away the tears, now facing him and looked straight to his eyes. “You will never cry except you have something that you’ve been hidden for a long time and that thing is a serious problem,” Hyosung pouted, knew that her boyfriend had something which had been hidden from her too long.

“No, my pretty noona.. I don’t have anything to be hidden from you, ara?” He touched her fingers.

***

“You said that you don’t have any secrets from me,” “I just  ...didn’t want to make you hurt..” Himchan whispered. Both had tears, both felt a heart attack because a few moments ago, Himchan made them break up. “Why?” Hyosung said. Without giving a care to her own tears, she wiped away Himchan’s.

“Please stop…I don’t think I deserve this from you..” Himchan hugged her tight, only made the two burst into tears again.

***

“Why did you two break up?” YongGuk was patting Himchan’s back as Himchan kept gulping his soju. “Don’t you two will need a more specific talk session?” YongGuk raised his eyebrows.

“For what? Hurting her more with saying that the fans forced me to make this decision?” Himchan laughed softly. His heart aching again, remembered how his fans behaved to him since they discovered his relationship with Hyosung.

“You know our song right ? “SECRET LOVE” .. Now, face the reality that you’ve been doing too many good things than what our song has drawn about idols’ love life!” “You don’t understand hyung.. What if our fans hurt her?” He sighed. “They wouldn’t..” YongGuk said.

“Just tell me the real reason, I know the fans thingy is definitely not your real reason,” YongGuk took the soju from Himchan’s hand. “Promise that you will not say this to the other members? And also Hyosung?” Himchan’s eyes were totally red.  “Promise..”

“I’m not sure with my feeling, sometimes, I can feel that I’m being too childish around her. I’m afraid that one day, she will hate just too much and even she wouldn’t be able to see into my eyes,” “And what is it to make you think so?”

“Because her eyes reflect her feeling.. And I can feel the guilty wave hit me every time she stares at me.. I feel that they were talking that I’m not good enough for her..” “Because……” “She’s too perfect.. I think that I’m being a coward..” Himchan mumbled.

“There… You admit it, you’re being a coward..” YongGuk smiled widely. “What should I do hyung? My life is so complicated..” Himchan yelled some cursing words before sank himself to the pillows. “You will always get a chance to make things better..”

***

“What is this?” Himchan asked confusedly to his Leader. “You have to see! The boys have prepared this since yesterday!” “I don’t really like a surprise party!” Himchan struggled, yelling on the top of his lungs. But YongGuk still held him tight, so he couldn’t escape.

He grabbed his waist and dragged Himchan to the room. “You know that I don’t like skinship!” YongGuk hissed too loud for Himchan to hear it. “But I don’t like surprise! Especially if it’s made by YOU AND THE MEMBERS!” It was too late for Himchan because he already stepped into the room, and got a real surprise as his eyes caught Hyosung’s figure.

“I’ve said that I don’t like a surprise, especially if it comes from you boys,” He sighed. Hyosung was blindfolded, but she knew who were sitting next to her as she kept begging them to release her before Himchan coming to the room. And she got a big and loud “no” from the boys of course.

“He’s here right?” Hyosung whispered a little. Loud enough for them to hear it. An awkward cough escaped from their mouths.

***

“I’m sorry..” Himchan giggled a little, let himself being warmed under Hyosung’s embrace. It was a bitter laugh, because there was no funny thing around them. “What’s that for?” Hyosung sighed, their love story was totally a mess for the last months. And she didn’t even understand the plot. She didn’t even know the patterns. She only knew that everything walked like she was a fool.

“Am I that bad for you baby ah? You’ve forgotten the situations we had to face before we’re this close?” Hyosung touched his cheeks, rubbing it softly. Very soft until Himchan felt like he would cry immediately.

“I’m sorry.. It was my ego..” Himchan said. His head bowed, Hyosung just scratched her head. “Nan jeongmal mianhae..” Himchan said once again. He woke up from his position, and sat to face her. He moved forward and gave kisses to her face. “You don’t know how hurt I am when realized that our story is being a mess eoh?” Her face was being hard again. Himchan couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to explain that expression.

“You will never know that right?” Hyosung had sobbed, for the N-th times in their relationship. “How much tears you want me to let out?” She asked as if Himchan told her to cry more. “Never.. I don’t want you to cry again.. Not as long you’re with me,” Himchan said it. Under the sky, the stars were shining too bright for them. “Promise?” “Nde..” Himchan nodded.

“I promise not to make you disappointed toward me then,” Hyosung’s eyes sparkling. “What do you mean huh?” Himchan touched her forehead. “I promise, to only love you..In every situations..I will marry to you,” “What about we marrying here right now?” Himchan winked. “Mworago?”

Himchan then pulled out a couple rings. “..Wh…why..How?” Hyosung gasped. “The boys helped me, they gave  me this before they letting you go,” Himchan smiled.

“So..Jun Hyosung, would you marry me?” Himchan knelt down, the rings were shining. “I will,” Hyosung smiled. Both smiled widely.

A promise had been made, under the full of stars sky. A “live together forever” promise…