CHAPTER TITLE : A CHANCE FOR OUR LOVE

What are you doing?” He asked her who was writing and seemed to be lost into her own world. “Doing my song.” She mumbled carelessly to him. His eyebrows went higher as he heard her talking about songs. “What do you mean?” He asked again, this time he leaning on the desk and watched her as his eyes couldn’t stop staring on her beauty.

“A song that we have to make for our new album, everybody has to make two songs.” She explained to him as her eyes had never left the sheet. “And are you writing about our love story in it?” he asked innocently which caused her to burst into laughter and lifted her eyes head from the papers.

“You gotta be kidding me, Woong Jae oppa.” She continued her laugh and made him to wrinkle his eyes in annoyed manner. She glanced on him and realized what he was doing, she felt a bit guilty for him as she got up from her seat and came face to face with him.

“Don’t think of it seriously,” She whispered as she closed the gap between their faces. Her hands tried to reach for his and when she was success, she squeezed them hard enough to tell him that she was serious. At least she knew that she was dead serious.

“Are you making a song about your ex?” Sunhwa wanted to laugh again as his question seemed to be stuck into the theme only. She only giggled as she once again shook her head, “You can’t ask me what songs I am making on. Don’t spoil the secret.” He pouted once again as he didn’t really like her answer on his question.

Looking at her, he couldn’t stop himself but trailing it down until he stared on her pouty lips that begged to be kissed. Ignoring her little push to him, he captured her lips and savored her taste. The taste he had somehow missed after not being able to taste it for some times. The way she melted immediately in their kissing session made everything more desirable for him as he slowly but surely deepened the kiss. He could feel that she wanted to smile between their kiss, he chuckled with it as he pulled apart from her. Her eyes looked at disappointingly, “Why do you stop?” She asked as she pouted her lips in annoyed look to him.

“Are you going to hate me because of that?” He asked, half joking and half serious as his eyes never left her figure. Her smile that had always supported him to go through the difficulty and the way she blinked that he had always adored. He loved it all, including her annoying whines too.

He counted the whines as something annoyed but adorable too though. Her way to express herself made him fallen for her on the first place. “Oppa!!” Her voice soon heard and he could sense a slight anger in the voice. He tilted his head only to find her looked at him with her puppy eyes as if she was begging for something.

“Don’t space out when we’re here alone, okay? I really hate that side of you.” She tugged his shirt in spoiled manner. Siwan just chuckled as he saw how cute she was like that. “Of course baby.” He murmured, kissing the top of her head.

“Sunhwa! Why wouldn’t you call?” He was scolding the younger as she suddenly appeared on his shooting area, being the bubbly self that made him surprised to see her. “I want to surprise you!” She jumped happily and totally ignored his words.

“You already surprise me.” He replied in a harsher voice. His eyes wandered everywhere but not to her. He felt the other’s eyes were on them, confused why one of a girl group member was there for him. Their relationship was a secret, obviously but she totally screwed it up with her presence up there.

“Sunhwa,” He hissed to stop her non-stop babbling about what happened to her that day and it was a success as she now stopped and looked at him curiously. “Get out of here, I beg you. Have you forgotten our promise to hide our relationship from publicity?” He was still hissing and refused to look at her. He obviously didn’t see that her eyes were getting teary just by what he had said to her. Whatever she wanted to tell him seemed to be pushed back because she didn’t want to make him angrier.

“I’m sorry. I will go.” She mumbled, wiping her eyes silently. He refused to look at her though now she was going to go from the place. What shocked him the most was when she suddenly ran to him and hugged him, she got chocked when she was going to talk and it worried him. But being a stubborn man he was, he didn’t turn around to her which made her hurt more. “I’m sorry, oppa. Don’t forget to eat the foods I gave you, kay? I’m leaving.” She whispered it as low as possible until it was only them who could hear it. He was struggling with himself as he didn’t know what to answer her.

And slowly, he felt her hug on him loosened and then gone. He took a deep sigh as he didn’t like what he had done to her. Ruffling his hairs in frustration, his eyes fell upon the foods she had brought for him. He opened it a little, only to reveal her homemade cooks which consisted of his favorite foods. He stood there, stunned.

Days passed and he surely hadn’t met with her at the time. He also didn’t know why it became like this, her phone had always unable to be contacted and it made him grew into frustration. He had read and watched everywhere about her comeback in the magazines and television and it made him sick. Not because he hated her, but because the reality was too cold. It was easy to watch her in the television than met her directly and face to face with her though the fact was they were dating.

He accidentally saw her group’s album that day in the shop and immediately bough it when he realized that she had written two songs in it. He couldn’t help but felt excited. He sighed hard as he slowly opened the album for the first time after he bought it, he looked around but no one was in his apartment which made him slowly missing her presence in the room.

He flipped the album until he found a song which attracted his attention. And the composer’s name caught his eyes too. “… and Han Sunhwa.”  ‘This is the song she made!’ he thought excitedly and hurriedly played the CD.

What he heard next broke his heart as it gave him a big impression on the songs. Sunhwa’s soft voice echoed through the room, telling him their story.

“Your eyes shining brightly,

As if the life is all yours

Your spirits, your smiles

It’s like I have never get enough of them

The slowly growing feeling

As days passed

The feeling grows rapidly

Without able being controlled

It’s waiting for the right time

To bloom

Just like a flower, this feeling is waiting

Either you who will make it bloom

Or either it’s you who will kill it

Without letting it bloom

But what’s this love for

If you don’t give it a chance?”

Siwan wanted to ask her why she would sing that kind of songs when the second songs came up and made him shiver.

“If you really think of me,

If you really love me,

If I’m that important for you,

Why did you do this to me?

Why you make me to feel this kind of pain?

Why did you let me go?

Why didn’t you hold me still?

I left you, but the pain still remain in my heart,

I want to give up,

But your image has always shadowed me over,

Why?

Why did you do this to me?

Why you make me to feel this kind of pain?

Why did you let me go?

Why didn’t you hold me still?

Am I useless for you now?

Because you don’t even try to comeback to me.

Maybe it’s the end,

But is this all you could do?”

“Is this what you’re feeling?” He whispered as he couldn’t stop going back and forth in the room, his mind started wandering everywhere. He started wishing that he didn’t scold her at the time. The memory hit him hard as he now fell down, groaned in frustration. How much had he hurt her?

Trembling, he tried to stand up but failed. He tried again but he kept failing and made the frustration grew even stronger in his mind. He bowed, not able to stand up and think about anything much farther. The door was suddenly opened in harsh manner as someone seemed to burst into the room, invading the privacy of his.

He tried to look who was it by lifting his head and met by surprise when he met with her figure. She looked worry and angry in the same time that he couldn’t resist but chuckled a little by her look. “What are you doing here?” He asked as his head started to ache. She didn’t answer and approached him with angry face instead. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re sick?!” She threw her bag to the nearest couch and pulled him as if she told him to get up. He complied without complaints and with shaky legs.

“What are you doing here?” He repeated his question. She was looking at him intensely when the sounds of the forgotten disk echoed through the room. “So you have heard my songs, huh.” She smirked as she eyed him. The hatred and the anger he could see from her shining like the sun and made him want to avoid it so bad.

“Kind of….” He mumbled. She looked at him but then he didn’t know why but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to his body, without any hesitation he kissed her hard as tears started falling from his eyes. He didn’t wait until she respond back to his kiss as he deepened the kiss, wanted her to know how much he missed her. She tried to push him as she started muffling things between their kiss. Pulling apart, he looked straight to her eyes, their lips were still closer to each other as if they were missing each other for a long time.

“Do you know that I’m dying because of you? Why did you ignore my calls?” He whispered, his eyes half closed as he still couldn’t get enough of her taste. “Oppa, you’re sick. Your body feels hot.” She replied back, he still could see her worried eyes on him. “Why did you ignore me, Sunhwa-ah?” He didn’t want to let her get her answer that fast, not when he was already too weak and missing her too much.

“Because I thought.. I thought..” “You thought what?” “I thought that you hate me after the surprise I made for you.” She mumbled, bowing her head so that he couldn’t see her tearing eyes. “Hey, I’m sorry. I was mad because I only thought of my problem. I didn’t know that would hurt you.” He lifted her chin so that he could see her completely. She was sobbing and he was lost, not knowing what he had to. With one last action, he kissed her before collapsed.

“O..Oppa?” She was shocked and thought that he was acting but after some shakes and he didn’t wake up, she knew he had spaced out. “You’re too stubborn sometimes.” She whispered, kissing him for the last time before taking care of him. “You know that I will never stop loving you, right?” She whispered as she swept away his sweats. A smile formed on his face.