Anxiety

I Belong To You, Even If You Don't Want Me To

 

Eunhyuk's Pov

 

So now here I sat in the living room with Sora by my side and my parents sitting at the love seat across from the glass table.

"So Eunhyunk.... What is this about having a boyfriend?" My mother questioned me without showing any type of emotion.

I gulped for the 10th time since I entered the house.

"M-mom I... I-i can explain!" 

"Well go on.."

"See what you heard was Hae yelling that I was his boyfriend but what he really meant that I was his boy friend.... You know like male friend Ha ha ha..." 

My mother sighed deeply before running her hand threw her hair.

"Eunhyuk don't you dare be lying to me..."

"I-I Mom..." She buried her face into her palms as my dad rubbed her back. After a while she looked up at me with reddened eyes.

"M-mom please don't cry." The guilt was beginning to burn my insides. I never would have thought that being gay would hurt her this much. 

I'm horrible.

"Shh honey." My dad smiled at my mother whom seemed to calm down.

"I-I just..."

I'm a horrible son. 

"I really wanted Hae as my son-in-law" She cried out. 

"I know..." My dad wrapped his arms around her while Sora was giggling next to me.

"W-what?"

"Well what do you expect Hyukkie... Hae is so much more handsome than you, he is gentle, kind, intelligent, trust worthy! I don't know if I'll ever get to have a son who is as close to perfection as he is!" 

"Well sorry for not being perfect."

"Oh darling it's not like that I mean you're great and all but Hae is just Hae. You know what you should do! Catch him before he finds someone better! Kyaa~ you should so go after him!" My mom started jumping in her seat.

"Than why don't you marry him instead."

"No! Honey you can't leave me!!" My dad got on his knees in front of my mom. "I'll improve I swear! I can change! I'll kill spiders on my own but don't leave!"

"Is this really my family?" I asked no one in particular.

Sora than got off the sofa and grabbed my father by his collar. 

"Dad, mom wouldn't leave you. You are too pitiful to be left alone."

"OH sweet daughter of mine why are you so cruel to me and yet you show the most kindness to me."

Thats a bit sad.

"Ugh! Fine mom I'll date Hae if it makes you feel better!"

In fact I'm already dating him so this makes everything so easy buahha.

"If only it were that easy... Now we have to get Hae to fall in love with you! That will be the hardest part."

"M-mom!"

"What? It's true."

Ha! If only I could shove it in your face that Hae fell in love with me first! Not only that but love at first sight!

"Oh~ I should invite Hae over on Monday so that both of you may get along smoothly~"

"Oh dear god please help me!!" I ran off to my room from the chaos in the living room. My sister was trying to get my father off of her leg while my mom kept twirling in circles.

We are not normal...

 

NO ONE's POV:

 

"Honey is it fine to continue teasing him like that?"

"Of course! I will mess with him for lying to his mother. I'm not deaf. Practically everyone in the neighborhood heard it when Hae was shouting his never ending love.... He deserves to be teased."

"Sometimes you scare me mom"

"Well now you know to not lie to your mother... Plus I bet Hyukkie is going to call Hae to comfort him hehe"

"They do make a cute couple. I should stop reading my mangas or else I wont be able to face hyukkie..."

"W-what? Sora what did you say? No daughter you can't become like your mother! We should spend more time together! I'm a failure."

"Eh? What is wrong with her becoming like me?"

"And what is wrong with my mangas?"

"I-I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I never even mentioned your mangas! Hyukkie save me~!"

 

Euhyuk's POV

 

"What the heck?" I felt a shiver run down. "Someone is talking about me."

I shut the door behind me and pulled my shoes off. 

"Ugh they smell..." I walked to my window and quickly opened the blinds. I ran under my covers after I noticed how chilly it became from the opened window

Bzzzz

I took out my phone from my pocket with a bit of struggle. I saw a text from Hae.

From: Dumbo

LOVELY HYUKKIE~!

R u excited 4 tomorrow???? 

<3 

I rolled my eyes.

"Whaaat ... is tomorrow..." I said aloud as I replied to his text.

I grabbed my ipad from the side of my bed to play some games tell i fall asleep.

Bzzzz

From: Dumbo

Hyukkie you forgot?! D:

We are supposed to meet with my family T~T

Am I not important to u???

Is there another guy!? :O

To think this is the same guy from a month ago who was always giving me short responses...

Crap I forgot!

To: Dumbo

How the heck did u come up with that conclusion?

And i thought we were meeting till sun.

Bzzzz

He sure texts quickly...

From: Dumbo

We were but I told you that we were moving up the date. I

told you... :(

Well you are attractive Hyukkie I wouldn't be surprised if 

someone tried to steal you from me D:

I felt my face flush from Hae's cheesiness.

To: Dumbo

Alright but I don't remember! I'll see you tomorrow I guess...

What time? 

Oh shut up Hae! Quit being cheesy! and my mom found

out about us cuz of your screaming! Im so gonna kill you 

next time i see you! You need to make up for what you did!

.... Goodnight ... weirdo

I squirmed a bit for writing such a lame goodnight. Hyukkie you need to be more assertive!... but not too much! 

Bzzzz

From: Dumbo

I'll pick you up around 5pm :))

mom found out?! :o but i take it she accepted me since 

she didn't forbid you to call or text me~ I bet you weren't

even scolded! yay~

go ahead and use my body however you want to~

its yours! \_(^ o ^)_/

i love it when your too shy to say you love me ^3^ *kiss kiss*

Goodnight and sweet dreams my love <333

 

What did I ever do to end with theses type of people surrounding me! 

I set my phone aside and covered my face with my pillow.

Oh god my heart wont stop pounding...

Sleep Hyukkie sleep!! 

Even in my sleep Hae wouldn't leave me alone. I may be losing my mind.

"Waaake up~! Hyukkie I want to go shopping!"

"mm go ask moom."  I snuggled closer to my pillow. I didn't remember what time I fell asleep but It felt as if it was only for an hour. Usually I would kick Sora out of my room but I really didn't have the energy.

"but Hyukkie mom left with dad! and I don't want to take the bus alone."

"No I'm tired! Get out of my room Sora."

"Hyukkie! Get up! Come on! Lets go~" Sora jumped on my bed, rolling on top of me.

"Fine! get off of me you ape!" 

"Yay~! I'll be in the living room Hyukkie!" 

I groaned deeply. Pushing myself off of my bed, I check the clock.

9:18...SIgh....about 7hours tell i meet up with Hae.

I picked up my phone to check if I had any messages or phone calls. Sure enough I saw one from Hae.

 

From: Dumbo

Hyukkie Rise and Shine~ Today is the big day keke~ 

Don't worry! Siwon will be there to cheer us on ^^

I'm excited :o i'll text you when Im at your house

Bye Bye~! <33333

 

I sent a quick reply before going to the bathroom to change. I walked out to the living room where Sora was talking to Kyuhyun and Sungmin.

"What are those two doing here?" 

"Oh they are coming with us!"

"What?!"

"I invited them and they agreed to give us a ride." She smiled sweetly.

"But but I woke up to go on the bus with you!"

"woops sorry about that Hyukkie! Now lets go!" She ran up to me and pulled me out of the front door despite my protest.

 

~*~ At the mall ~*~

 

"Hyukkie quit sulking~ Please just enjoy this moment" Sora grabbed my arm, pleading me to shop with her.

"I'll try but you know I hate people."

"Come on Hyuk! Don't turn down your sister!" Kyu wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah HYUK don't be a party pooper." He quickly ran up to Kyu and pulled him into his arms. Minnie stuck his tongue out at me before burying it in Kyu's shoulder. Kyu smirked in response. 

Oh god... he's using me to make Minnie jealous isn't he? Wait Minnie? Now Sungmin is your friend or what Eunhyuk?

"I know but Hyukkie you've been busy with Hae lately that you never hang out with me anymore." She pouted while twisting the ends of my long sleeve shirt.

"... Fine! Lets go!"

"Yay!" All three screamed like children. 

"Why me?!" I mumbled. 

We spent about 3 hours shopping! I was extremely exhausted especially with the huge crowds that we had to battle against to enter a single store. Somewhere along the way I became the shopping cart. I was carrying 5 bags for my sister and her newly found "best friend Sungmin. 

I actually felt a bit jealous... Sungmin had a new best friend... I couldn't help but pout while watching them fool around. 

"Hyuk if you want to be friends with Minnie just go talk to him. You'll probably find you have more things in common with him than you think."

"No! I refuse! All he does is bully me anyway. It's also your fault for trying to make him jealous! Don't think I haven't noticed! You like it when Sungmin acts all possessive." 

Kyuhyun chuckled. "I'm not ashamed to admit it!" He ran off towards Sora and Sungmin leaving me to sulk. 

"Guys I'm tired. Please lets rest! Can't we go eat something instead."

"Yeah you're right! Lets go eat. Anyways I think we shopped for long enough."

"I guess we can go. I don't need anything. What about you Kyu?" Sungmin smiled up at his boyfriend.

"Whatever is fine with me."

"Finally! I thought I was going to die!" 

We went to a nearby sandwich shop. It was a quick and out of the restaurant since I didn't want to stay long. since I still had to get home by four to have enough time to get ready. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dying from the anxiety.

Kyuhyun dropped my sister and I off while he and Sungmin decided to continue their date.

"Hyukkie its already 3. You should go take a shower before you go to meet Hae's family." I had told Sora about meeting Hae's parents the night before. She insisted everything would be fine but I still couldn't help but feel a knot in my stomach.

"Yeah. I will." I handed her the shopping bags while I made my way to my bathroom. 

I filled the tub with a strawberry fragrance bubble bath soap. I took my time in the tub. I was starting to regret agreeing with Hae...

Something felt off... It was upsetting.

Enough Hyukkie! It will be fine! I have to do this! 

I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. 

Time sure passes quickly when you don't want it to pass. 

3:48 pm

Only an hour and twelve minutes left...

I got out of the tub and put on my underwear and a tank top. I covered myself with my warm pink bath robe and let water run through the drain.

Rather than making my way to my bed I slowly made my way out and walked into Sora's room.

She was on her bed reading a comic. Her shopping bags where already nicely put into place while her new clothes hung on the closet door. 

She looked over her glasses lenses at me.

"Hyukkie what are you doing in here?" She asked a bit confused.

I ignored her question and threw myself beside her. My head landed perfectly next to her shoulder and my feet were hanging out of the corners.

"Sora... I-I don't think I can-"

"Oh hush Hyukkie. You can and will!"

"But what if I destroy his family... I could never bare with the thought of ruining his life! I mean what right do I have to do this? I-I'm not as talented, prestigious, rich, kind, smart, or handsome like Hae. He is on a different statute than me. I can't live up to their expectations..." Sora hummed in response. She lazily put her book down and wrapped her arms around my head ever so gently.

"Oh Hyukkie... QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!" She roughly ruffled my hair.

"Hey!"

"Hyukkie you idiot. Hae has never ever ever thought you as someone not worthy of his love. Rather than doubting yourself you should have confidence in your love. Think about it Hyukkie."

"But-"

"For god's sake Hyukkie... Hae has loved you for years! Years of silence and agony! Years of admiring and loving you from afar. Years of watching you flirt and date various woman and never look twice at him, who practically begged you for attention..."

"Hmm yeah of course that would never make me feel like a horrible person. Ouch!" Sora pinched my cheek.

"Let me finish! Ehem the point is during that time Hae could have given up on you but he never did. He could have had any one, men or women, eating at the palm of his hands but rather than chase other skirts... or pants, he waited for you. If I were in your place I would risk everything for that kind of love. Even if the whole damn world, no universe were against it."

"... Thanks Sora."

"Anytime little brother~!"

"I'm older than you!"

"But you never act like it!" She giggled. "Now go away you have 40 minutes left before Hae gets here."

"Yeah Yeah!" I walked out of her room feeling lighter and more confident. 

I quickly changed into a collared white button up shirt with black straight jeans. It wasn't fancy but it wasn't completely casual. I combed my blonde hair to the side, making sure my eyes were visible. I put on black Louboutin loafers. 

"HYUKKIE! HAE IS HERE!!" 

My heart dropped at the sudden news. My hands were covered in sweat and I could feel the collar become unbearable in less than a second. 

I abruptly stood and wobbled to the living room. 

Hae stood there smiling he freaken angelic and most perfect smile. He looked incredibly handsome. His hair was perfectly sweeping to the side. He wore a blue button up shirt with black slacks and a black jacket. My heart did a flip at his killer smile. 

"You look amazing Hyukkie." I avoided making eye contact because I could feel the blush take over my face. 

Freaken Hae! How dare you turn me into this... this jello!

"Y-you t-too." I barely managed to say.

Where the heck is my voice?!

"I tried to be up to your standard."

I looked at him wide eyed. It was now his turn to blush and avoid my gaze.

I could hear Sora giggling from the couch.

"Ehem are you ready?" He offered his hand to me along with another damn killer smiles, I could feel one arise on my face as well. 

I'll give in.

"Yeah!" I felt the sudden rush of confidence arise.

Maybe this won't go as bad as I thought. 

If I'm disapproved of than will I be able to hold on to him? Would I be able to break a family apart? I'm not like Sora but I can try to be confident of both of us.

 

 

T~T ahhh 2 chapters left D': I want to keep writing this... forever!! muahahhhahhahah jk jk but i'm really having a hard time letting it go. I originally planned it to be 15-20chptrs. than I wanted it to have 25 and now i'm at 30.... *sigh* but yeah i'll end it at 30. despite this being fluff I want to add a bit off drama at 29 and 30 kekeke .... I'll see what ill do xD Oh!! and for my new fanfic I'll be posting it on chpater 29 (well not the link but the summary [maybe a preview]) its going to be boyxgirl but I'm still thinking of writing another eunhae fanfic (either a sequel or completely new). except that I will have 3 projects if I do... but I think Its a good possibility that I might write more eunhae in the next couple of weeks.

ahhh subscribers <3 I love you all.... I really don't want to let anyone of you guys go... i'm selfish lol T~T 

THANK YOU NEW SUBSCRIBERS~~~!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOVE YOOOU ♫ ♪ ♬ 

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COMMENT REPLIES~~~~!!! <33333 THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!!! <333

FangirlEunYoo  heheh what did you think of this chapter? i tried to make Hyukkie shy~! xD

kiki-chan updated~! I was going to update sooner but I had so much hmwk this week. On average I slep around 4-7 hours a day T~T I'll try to update soon~!

walalangpo hahahah xD ooh i know my sis has a boyfriend and she makes me help cover for her T~T so much work hahah but lately I've been like "you're on your own. You got a boyfriend so now deal with it." sometimes I feel bad but I didn't like covering for her... *sigh*

rossy80 hahha heck yeah~ Hyukkie should keep hae close to him :3 hehe 

NadaKyu i tried updating sooner since you said you waited long. sorry it wasn't sooner but i've been super busy. sorry! :o i'll make sure to update soon again~! please continue reading :3

Shin_Ha_Ni Hyukkie does act like that huh.... I've never thought about it like that but its true! :o maybe I should try to tone it down a bit? hahahha ok ill try to avoid hyukhae xD (for this fanfic keke) actually i've never really been a hyukhae fan (though I found some fanfics that were really good so I didn't mind as much) but you are good! i really think you are! 13 is a good age to start writing :) i'm older and my writing isn't the best... hahah i should practice more and proof read more as well xD the "rubs chin" is like a thinking pose hahah idk if you've ever seen it xD I'm also more of a reader lol mainly because i know there are a lot more talented writers than me therefore I enjoy reading their fanfics more :) hahah its fine that you commented more than once XD I dont mind :) hehe i've also have no desire to gain more karma xD

miinah101315  there you are~! hehhe hi! :3 hehe he handled it pretty well XD but lets see what happens next hehe ;)

 

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leia100
I wanted 2 try this out lol :D i WILL update either wed or thur cuz writing is hard, especially since its my 1st time on my 1st fanfic ~ILY SUBSCRIBERS

Comments

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fishy44 #1
Chapter 14: omg why i'm here? jajja i'm famous yeeeeeei
eunsweetlover #2
new suscriber here!!! looks interesting will eunhyuk accept donghae? :)
bad_reality
#3
Chapter 14: I was about to keep this chap and continue nex chap but then..I saw my name xD
WTH
where did you get my name? OMG I LOVE KYUHYUN LMAO
nui_be #4
Chapter 31: *cough*epilogue would be appreciated*cough*
cholily94 #5
such a amazing ff!!
I really love it!will u please make a sequel for it???I think it doesn't need multi chaptered sequel but maybe a one shot will be cool!!!
and I want to ask ur permission for translating this great ff in to persian??so may I dear?
plz let me know ur answer^^
yeonjihee96
#6
Chapter 14: I have my own pov here , hehehehe I like it even though it's a heart breaking *.* , anyway up to the next chapter ;)
SUJU4ever13 #7
Chapter 31: Thankyou for your story!!!! I really enjoyed it.... Sequel please??
xoELFxo
#8
Chapter 31: sequel please~ *batting eyelashes*
Naicumi #9
Chapter 14: Asdasdas You can do that? Is a trap xD Oh~~! OMFG! I was tricked xD
Naicumi #10
Chapter 14: OMFG! NAICUMI? IT'S ME!!!! Oh My ing God I am in a FANFIC!!