It was his last stage in America. He just ended his last concert in New York, and Jiyong felt like going home already. Though, he still had one in Canada before going back home. He’d missed the feels of breathing the air and hearing the familiar sound in Korea so much. Sometimes, using English to communicate with fans was never his preference. He could not demonstrate everything he’d always wanted to tell, and there he was, trying to speak what he’d had in his mind in another language beside his mother tongue.

Jiyong would spend time around New York City, it was the city of dream and art. He could not miss out, and still he would remember to take photos around the city just to show to Jieun.

“There’s so much thing I want to show you, Ji ah.” He whispered on his last night in the city when she just woke up from her late sleep. “I want to travel with you in someday.”

Jieun could not bring herself to answer that question. It sounded so much ridiculous to even think of the possibility. Instead, Jieun just smiled. What else could she react anyway?

“Good night, oppa.” She eventually said, wishing she could touch him through the phone.

“I’ll see you in Korea soon.” Jiyong stared at the screen, looking for her eyes. “Love.”

Everything he had became serenity to her. His voice, his existence and… his love. Jieun wanted to feel all of it, wondering if it was because she was afraid of losing everything in a blink before she would know.

Jiyong wondered if she knew about the media. He did not want to speak for himself, or explain that it’d been all settled down so far despite the fact she was going to have a breakdown over this. He knew she’d experienced these kinds of things enough, and been depressed over these kinds of things enough. He knew she shouldn’t hold up alone again and she shouldn’t be treated like what she’d been titled for the old scandals. Even if he did explain all of that, she would still be panicking over everything because he knew she was still not completely over it. And the worst, she could end up doing things on her own without telling him, was what he’d been afraid of the most.

Jiyong really hated things happening this way, because he just could not ing do anything at all, either to try to help her or to help himself, or to help both of them. He tried not to think about it too much, but everytime he was talking to her, seeing her face made he feel so guilty even though it was nobody’s fault. He wondered if love was a guilt, then answered himself that if it was indeed a guilt then everyone in the world should have been punished, not just them.

There were times like this would make Jiyong felt so helpless, hopeless and useless. He believed that he was so much powerful, but right now he could not do anything about that.

“Taehee ah…” Jiyong carelessly spoke while resting his head back on the seat during the long flight. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Taehee looked at him, pretending like he could not hear but Jiyong knew he always at faking things.

“Don’t pretend.” Jiyong added.

“You mean…” Taehee awkwardly moved his mouth. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean and now you ask me?” Jiyong was too tired of speaking things he already did not want to spit it out.

Taehee sighed. He knew he could not pretend anymore.

“Jiyong ah I’m sorry…” That was the only thing Taehee could say, which disappointed Jiyong more.

“Look, Taehee ah.” Jiyong tried to remain calm, though that line really somehow pissed him off. “I don’t need any apology, but can you at least tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m afraid…” Words became unsaid after that would make Jiyong knew what he meant.

“I would make a mess out of it?” Jiyong half-smirked half-mumbled.

“You know you always get yourself in trouble in these kinds of things.” Taehee spitted out the rest, which made Jiyong felt downrated.

But, the thing was, Taehee spoke the truth. Jiyong knew so much that he could get into trouble if he knew about this beforehand. Somehow, it was not too bad if Jiyong hadn’t known anything. He was always the type of making things up in his own way without thinking too much about it. And then, he just screwed everything up in a second later.

The conversation ended awkwardly without any other sounds. Most of the people in the flight were already asleep, but only Jiyong was still wide awake thinking about what was going to wait for him in the other sphere when he landed home.

Jiyong: Jiji ~

Jiyong: What you doing?

Jieun: Oh

Jieun: Welcome back oppa

Jieun: Did you just land?

Jiyong: Oh oppa felt like dying already

Jiyong: I’m not sleeping well

Jieun: Oppa are you going straight to home?

Jiyong: Where are you?

Jieun: I’m just at home.

Jieun: Should I go to your place?

Jiyong felt butterflies in his stomach. He realized that whenever he received this type of text from Jieun, his heart somehow still felt the ecstacy that she had given him on the first day. He still felt like everything was such a sweet dream to him, sometimes he was afraid of waking up from it, that he just wanted to fall into it forever. That feeling, the feeling of having someone to wait for you at home, to have the person you miss waiting for you at home, was so fascinating that he felt like his energy was half-refilled somehow, if not too exaggerative. But then, reality hit him somehow when Youngbae’s voice popped up in his mind.

In front of your apartment. It’s her Jiyong.

Jiyong felt extremely frustrated when his happiness soon turned completely into a disappointment in just a second. Not too long before his stresses came back to him, he sighed walking fast into the car and rested his body in a heavy mood.

Jiyong: Wait Jieun ah

Jiyong: I have a bad feeling

Jiyong: Why don’t you just stay at home and I’ll come to your house when I’m all done?

Jiyong texted quickly and closed his phone. Jieun might be mad, but he excused himself to be mad at himself even more. He was mad that why couldn’t he make any decision on his own, but his own damn self wouldn’t let him do that either. But one thing for sure, he did all of these things just to protect her as much as he could, that was what he believed he always thought of first.

Jieun could not be used for the media anymore. She could not be in any photo around his places. Maybe in the worst scenario, he could be the one appearing in the photos, not her. Maybe that was the only way he could save her.

Something in his texts worried Jieun. It was right that women indeed got a very sixth sense because Jieun saw something through his words. Jieun did not want to guess further, and she in fact just didn’t want to know things that she wished it wouldn’t happen. That was contradictory, somehow. Her mind was afraid of things that went wrong but when it went too right, she just became on her own guard.

Jieun: Alright

Jieun: Text me when you’re nearly done.

She decided just to wait for him. He had gone for too long. She missed him so damn bad.

Jiyong wondered why the CEO, also one of his best companions, did not contact him in regard of that mess. But that was indeed what Hyunsuk always acted in his position, doing nothing and acting like he did not care at all, sometimes he did care but most of the time he didn’t really care. For every mess Jiyong involved, it was always him who contacted Hyunsuk first, which was a super weird procedure for a professional entertainment. And as a consequence, Jiyong went through his contacts to finally make a call.

“Oh Jiyong ah. You’re back?” Jiyong was taken back at how calm Hyunsuk’s voice was in compared to what was going on right now.

“Hello hyung. How you doing? I just landed and was on the car going back to my house.” Jiyong tried to be natural.

“Oh. Good job. Now rest before your next schedule.” Hyunsuk sounded like he was going to end the call soon.

“Hyung.” Jiyong quickly gasped. “I have something to tell.”

There was a long pause in the call.

“Yeah. We should meet to talk about this. How about tomorrow morning? You should rest for today.”

Something in his voice made Jiyong felt his goosebumps. Why did he felt like he was doing something wrong? It was the feel back in the days when he was still a trainee and whenever Hyunsuk called him on the phone, the feeling overwhelmed his heart.

“Alright hyung. See you tomorrow.” Jiyong weakly said, waiting Hyunsuk to hang up first.

Somehow, Jiyong felt like he had half-solved the problems, despite the fact he did not really work anything out at all. Just speaking to Hyunsuk still put him on the same pressure as when he first met him, but after that, he felt more relieved.

Jiyong: I’m coming in 30mins.

He made a quick text and signaled to the driver to change the direction.

The first thing he did when she opened the door was to simply put her in a great hug for almost twenty minutes. He missed everything about her, her hair, her scent, her voice, her body, her face and her existence. Not until Jieun gasped in the air that Jiyong realized he had put her in an uncomfortable position for too long.

“Sorry Ji ah. I just miss you so much.” Jiyong grinned when he finally let go of her body.

Jieun smiled as beautiful as always. Jiyong looked at her, thinking how could he leave her for three weeks before while he still felt drawn to her when he was with her right now.

Jieun would make a proper meal for Jiyong, and Jiyong finally learned the good taste of food after a very long time. Looking at him eating well made Jieun felt happier than ever. Jieun hoped the day would not end too soon, because it always seemed too fast when they were together.

As usual, they spent every second just to be with each other. Jiyong missed the feeling of having Jieun beside him so much that he always grabbed his phone to take photos of her whenever she did something. Didn’t he say before that he always wondered if Jieun was some kind of art, but now he finally found the answer when his phone was somehow full of Jieun’s photos.

Lying his head on Jieun’s knees while she was reading a book was the best feeling in the world, sometimes Jiyong wished he could capture every moment like this in some kind of visual storage so he could keep replaying it when she was not there.

“Oppa.” Jieun suddenly spoke up, putting her book down.

“Hm?” Jiyong played a finger with her hair, which was his habit he had discovered after dating her.

“Did you have to go somewhere before coming here?” There was some weakness in her voice triggering him.

“Oh…” Jiyong did not want to lie, but did not dare to speak the truth. “Nothing much. I just need to meet Hyunsuk hyung. But we’ll meet tomorrow instead.”

So he didn’t lie, but he felt like it was not really a honest answer either.

“Oppa.” She paused for a while before continueing.

“Is something wrong?”