It’d been two days since that talk with Youngbae. Jiyong had not been contacting Jieun, for some reasons. He still convinced himself not to believe in what Youngbae said, but at the same time, he was convinced not to deny what Youngbae stated. He was a mixture of feelings. He could not let himself deciding if he should contact Jieun or not. Everytime he reached for his phone, he would stop himself. He was afraid that if he ever talked to her, if he ever said something, it would become terrible. He would show it all to her, his real feelings. But the problem was, he could not come to his sense of his own feels. His feelings were nothing more than contradictory.

He did not want to get hurt anymore. His heart was fragile as hell. He shaped his mind that way in order not to get hurt. He was too sensitive and too soft. He looked tough; he looked uninvolved; he was disinterested; he did not care about the surroundings; he never paid attentions to people; but he did care about her. He lost control in his feelings; he lost himself sometimes; but he was himself beside her.

The more Jiyong thought, the exhausted and complicated his mind became. Jiyong felt like he could not sleep at all those nights, those talk-less nights without Jieun.

He wondered if she had ever cared about him. He wondered if she had ever missed talking to him. He wondered if she had ever wondered why he did not call her. He wondered if she had been waiting for his calls. He wondered if she had ever thought of the idea of them being together. He lingered his mind onto those thoughts and he desperately wanted to know if she had ever had any feelings for him. One part of his mind would tell if she ever had any feelings for him, he would eventually be dragged into that trap again; but the other part would tell him to run away from her because it knew that he would be dragged into it anyway.

He just missed her voice so damn bad. He just wondered what she was doing right now, when all he could do was blending his mind over just that girl.

Jieun felt weird. She felt like she was missing something, something that she should not think of. Something that she knew if she cared and she thought about it too much, it would eventually kill her. She could not let that thing went through her again. She had locked the door, but she was afraid that thing would end up opening up the door again. She did not want to open the door. She could be there alone, she knew. But she never knew that her heart felt so lonely, and she was desperately waiting for someone to smash the lock.

She was, somehow, waiting for his calls. She was playing hard to get. She always was that kind of girl. She was looking for his id caller to appear in the phone. She would startle everytime she heard the phone rang. She was, somehow, disappointed that it was not his call. Wait, was she disappointed? That only meant she had hopes. She was not supposed to hope for anything. She would tell herself that. Why did she start to hope again? She lost hope since her last broken relationship. She was not supposed to hope for anyone. She would shape her mind that much.

But she, somehow, missed him. She missed how he would and eventually made her laugh like an idiot. She missed how he snored so peacefully everytime she watched him sleeping through the phone. She missed how sometimes they did not talk at all but just did things on their own but never hung up; sometimes, one would ask the other what they were doing.

She wondered what was that all about. Did she just realized she had feelings on that person, that particular person who had millions of fans around the world. Jieun was not supposed to fall for that kind of person. He was so different from her ideal type; he was so different from any kind of guy that she wanted to date; he was too difficult and too risky to ever think about that; but the problem was she started to feel different about that too.

Jieun was fragile despite being tough in the outside. She could cry easily but she was good at holding it by laughing. Everytime she cried, she felt so stupid. But just for today, even if she had to cry, she felt like it was going to be worth anyway.

Just for today. Jieun could either cry or laugh. She did not know. But at least, she tried.

“He.. Hello?” His voice was shaking. He wondered if he was dreaming, and 80% of his mind convinced him that it was a dream. He was lying on the bed though. But he really did hope it was not a dream.

“Hi oppa.” It was her voice. He was not dreaming.

“Jieun?” He still could not believe it. Half of his mind still believed it was illusional.

“How are you?” Her voice was too soft and too small and too remembering that he felt like he wanted to embrace that kind of sound into his soul.

“I’m… good.” It was 30% of him still convincing that this was not happening.

“I just wondered if anything happened to you.” His heart felt like exploding. He wondered why did she care.

“Huh?” It was only 10%.

“You… did not call me… at all.” Jieun was shaking so much in her heart but she remained calm in her voice.

He was silent. It was 0%. It was real. She was there, at the other side of the call. He was too happy to ever realize that it was real.

“Are you fed up with me?” Jieun spoke in hurry.

She was closing her eyes. She said it. She knew she was ruined. She was completely ruined. She ruined it. She felt like crying, but she knew she would not regret it. She knew that this was going to happen. She either had to cry or to laugh.

“What? No Jieun ah. Why am I even fed up with you? I was…” His heart was too excited to realize now he was so overthinking; he was afraid it would not happen the way he was overthinking. “I was waiting.”

“Huh?” She opened her eyes.

“Jieun ah. Listen to me. Answer this question. Be honest.” Jiyong was nervous. He was so ready to face this. He could do this. He had to do this. “Are we… just friends, aren’t we? Why do we always have to talk to each other every night? Are we even close enough to do that?”

He took a deep breath. He just thought he would never forget this moment.

“I…” Jieun was still proceeding her words. She was still proceeding her heart. She knew she got the answer already. But she could not speak anything. She was afraid of getting hurt again.

“If you don’t answer, I will answer first.” Jiyong was careless. He did not give any damn. He just had to speak what his mind was. He could not do this anymore.

“I just miss you.”

She said it. She closed her eyes again.

“I don’t know if we are friends or not. I don’t even know what we actually are. But I don’t care anymore. I just want to talk to you. It’s been two days and I felt like I was missing something. I just really really really miss you.”

She nearly cried. But she held it. She needed to laugh. But she could not laugh in this situation.

“I miss you too, Jieun ah. I, too, really really really miss you.”

(And she laughed. Her voice, once again, healed him.)